<b>Regular Universe</b>
Ukyo Kuonji was a pretty complicated person when you got right down to it. You might call her a little bit confused regarding the whole issue of sexual attraction. Growing up pretending to be a boy, surrounded by boys, falling head over heels for a hot guy that turned into a hot girl, being romantically pursued by a straight boy that dressed up like a girl just 'cause he looked cute...
Yeah, not exactly a healthy sexuality, is it? She used to sort of feel as though Akane had it worse. Her main real rival for Ranma's attention was so sexually insecure and clumsy she'd probably find some way to headbutt him the moment he took off his shirt.
On the other hand, Ukyo didn't really have any problem with Ranma staring at her. The bikini she was wearing underneath her usual outfit wasn't exactly scandalous, but one look at Akane made her want to turn around to maybe cut off some of the material.
Then again, her behaviour just now was far, far too surreal to leave alone. So. Stealthy sneaky ninja chef time! She watched Akane practically skip into the cafe with nary a care about who might see her wearing that - That outfit the real Akane would never be caught dead in.
So what was she thinking? Doppleganger? Curse victim? Possession? Happosai. Probably Happosai's fault somehow. Either way. The best thing for her to do was help Akane get back to her senses somehow. Might need Ranma's help for that.
Which created a terrible dilemma. Ranma would probably help out right away if he saw this kind of change, help her sort out Happosai. On the other hand... If Ranma saw Akane like this, he might enjoy the change so much that he says something like, "Sorry, Ukyo, you're not the cute one anymore! She's cute, she's sexy and we're off to do so many fun things together."
"You have no idea!" Akane would say, nuzzling into his chest and not coincidentally rubbing those tits right up against him. "You're welcome to join if you like..."
Yeah, best not to dwell on that daydream too long. All that she had to do was sneak on up behind her on the very tippiest part of her tippy toes, raise her battle spatula above her head and knock the transformed tomboy out. That way they could figure out what the hell was going on and -
Akane pushed open the door in front of her and Ukyo fell over, completely unnoticed.
"Ranma!" Akane yelled, huffing and putting her hands on her hips. She stormed into the room, where girl-form Ranma was crouched on all fours as naked as the day she was born while Mousse, who was also as naked as Ranma was the day she was born, was slamming into her from behind. "You just couldn't wait and had to hog the beef! Greedy!"
"Ahhhhkahhhneee!" Ranma moaned, her hips lewdly smacking back against the myopic boy's hips. "You wouldn't believe how hard I had to work him over. I'm so glad you're back to normal!"
"Shut up and give me your tongue," Akane demanded, lowering herself down towards Ranma's head level so that the two of them could swap a little spit.
Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy. This was worse than she'd been expecting. If there was a list of things she expected to behold in her life, the sight of Ranma's girl form being pounded doggystyle by Mousse while Akane frenched her didn't make the list, but only because it was so completely unexpected that even imagining it in the first place would make her a crazy person.
Because who would ever imagine that Mousse would have such a chiseled figure underneath those massive, flowing robes? Who could have thought that he might have abs she was thinking of asking if she could maybe buy, because it would make a better cheese grater than the one she had back at the restaurant? He was tall. He was lean. He was <i>fit</i>.
He was also firmly gripping Ranma's hips, which prompted Ukyo to note that her curves were just as altered as Akane's if not more so, and thrusting with an intensity that was, at once, both passionate and precise. Like a machine with a soul.
On the topic of Ranma's curves it was amazing. The way her breasts jiggled after every thrust, the way she seemed to have complete control over every single muscle in her body. There was a sheen to her skin that made it pleasant just to look at, promising greater delights still if you would just put your hand <i>there</i>. Which Akane did with gusto.
Ukyo swallowed, and accepted one cold and hard truth. She needed backup, and she needed it fast. It was a miracle they hadn't noticed her presence yet, but the second that they did she gave her chances of escape at being pretty damn low.
So, once again it was time for a certain stealthy, sneaky ninja chef! This time to make a speedy, hasty and hopefully unnoticed exit!
"That was close," she whispered, wiping the sweat from her brow once she'd turned about three corners getting away from the damn place. "Too close! What the hell was up with that? No way would Ranma - No, more like no way any of them would behave that way! Ever! Ran-chan likes girls, not boys! He hated his girl form, he'd never go and do anything like that..."
Help was needed. Definitely. The old ghoul? Not present, but that might not mean anything necessarily. Doctor Tofu! Ah, yes. He might be able to help out! Definitely keep this away from the dumbass panda and mister cries-a-lot. They'd probably try to use this to encourage those two to get hitched due to mutual perversion. Allies were looking pretty slim on the ground, especially since it wasn't like she knew too many folk that were all that reliab-
"Well met, Miss Kuonji!"
Case in point for reliability: Tatewaki Kuno. Ugh. Guy's whole damn family was nuttier than that one fruitcake Gran made that one birthday. Keep in mind that Ukyo was pretty sure she'd somehow managed to mix up the flour with crushed apple seeds and the eggs with eggplants, and you might get some idea of how fruity this particular cake was.
Anyway. Asking him for help for just about anything was like taking up smoking in a fireworks factory. Even if things go fine at first, won't take long before it all goes to hell.
"Yeah whatever," Ukyo said. "I got places to be, so you mind moving?"
He didn't move. Instead he just sort of looked her over, and it made her sort of shudder all over. Not an unpleasant sensation exactly. Just sort of... Weird. Before she even knew it Kuno had taken her by the hand.
"You seem distressed," Kuno said. "I recall your attempt to become more feminine, wearing the proper gender version of our school uniform. Astonishing how well both suit you. In one instant, an adorable pretty girl. In the next, a serious and handsome young man. You are as a chameleon. Yet one who only knows colours of extreme beauty."
It was cheesy. It was impossibly cheesy. That cocky smile usually made her want to slap him around some. Not quite today. For some reason it was... Kinda pleasant? The gruff attitude she'd been trying to take with him sort of melted away, and all she could do was meekly thank him in a voice that didn't quite sound like her own.
"You are quite welcome," Kuno replied, kissing the back of her hand. Ukyo felt her eyes flutter upwards involuntarily. "Come, my dear. Please do tell me what it is that bothers you so. It is never healthy to keep your feelings bottled up inside..."
- What sort of change has happened to Kuno, exactly?
- Meanwhile in the pervert world, Ranma tries to find a place to think things through.
- Back at the cafe.
- Flashback to how things got to that point in the cafe.
- Something else
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