Friday, 5 June 2015

Story: Federal Breast Inspectors 1/2


Daisuke was just a little nervous. And why shouldn't he be? There he was, waiting for his buddy to come back from doing his duties as a "Federal Breast Inspector". Right next to him was Nabiki Tendo, standing there. Watching intently. Wielding a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other.

Though it must be pointed out that the clipboard and pen were absolutely not the things that had his attention. Imagine, if you will, if you were to ask an expert at dress design to construct the "sexy secretary" look and you'd understand. A smart dress suit, with the top four buttons undone to expose a healthy amount of even healthier cleavage. It only went to her thighs, and the very next items of clothing you'd see if you kept looking down her body were a pair of professional high heels.

Odd thing was, what was probably hitting him the hardest were the glasses perched on the end of her nose. No actual glass in the frame. They were just there for effect and nothing else. And, oh boy, let him tell you, they were having an effect! Used to be he thought of Akane as the hottest chick in school, but her older sister sure as hell gave her a run for her money!

"Hey, Dai!" his buddy called, for some reason carrying around a tiny little cat that was affectionately mewling into his chest. "Nabiki? Damn, I didn't recognise you there for a moment. Uh, why is she...?"

"I'm here for an internship, I suppose you could say," Nabiki said to her clipboard in the midst of scribbling something on it. "Working part time for a position like yours could prove to be quite the boon for my resume. I'm sure you'll find my talents most... Appreciated."

She ran her tongue along her lips so quickly, you blinked or you missed it. It made both boys swallow very, very nervously. Sure. Technically she was offering to be their underling, but they both knew immediately that she was up to something. Nabiki Tendo working for them for free? Yeah, right! This was a game! She was playing them somehow!

Except that a quick adjustment of her shoulders, some interesting jiggling underneath that suit and somehow that didn't quite seem all that important. Besides, having a girl on team was hardly a bad thing. Right? Right!

"It might be a good idea to take me on your rounds," Nabiki said. "I'd be rather eager to assist in your next inspection."

"Unfortunately, I already filled quota today," Hiroshi said. Nabiki quirked an eyebrow and stared at him over her glasses. The word he was probably looking for was "steamy". Hiroshi had to adjust his collar. Man, she really knew how to work them up! "Th-that's how it works, you see? Our badge of authority tells us how many inspections we have to do, and I managed to get 'em all done just now."

"We can inspect more," Daisuke said. "Buuuut, technically we can't fill up quota by inspecting the same chick twice within six months."

"A daily quota..." Nabiki said aloud, using the tone of voice reserved for someone writing a note. Which it very much appeared she was. "What exactly is it your department does? I'd be very interested in hearing all about it."

"W-Well..." Hiroshi stammered, hardly helped by the way Nabiki was leaning forward juuuust about enough to show off the maximum amount of cleavage possible without popping another button. Gods help them, they'd made a monster. "We... Check breasts for... Uh... Stuff? And then if there's anything wrong we have the authority to f-fix it."

"What kind of 'stuff'?" Nabiki asked. And honestly, neither boy could exactly think of a really good example just then that might actually satisfy her curiosity.

<hr>
He tried to be professional. Really, he did. His bedside manner was beyond superb. He took time and care to understand his patients. His knowledge of shiatsu was quite brilliant. He was beloved by the community just for being himself, thought of as a medical practitioner of the highest caliber as well as a talented martial artist, and yet he had just one single, crucial weakness he could never, ever get past.

"Doctor Tofu, I do so hate to bother you with a problem like this," said the love of his life. An angel. A goddess! Beauty, grace and kindness given mortal form. "But I don't quite know where else to turn."

"Turn?" he said, rather liking the sound of the word on his tongue. "Turn, turn, turn! What seems to be the problem? You're always the peak of health!"

And showing off a little more flesh than he was used to. My goodness! If he wasn't already smitten, he certainly would be after seeing those! It was lucky he was a trained martial artist or he'd already be doing jumping jacks around the room.

"Well, you see, Doctor," Kasumi said, following him around the room, just outside of arm and leg's length so he didn't accidentally hit her. "I had this strange encounter with a shopkeeper just now. I'm not entirely certain he was human. Ever since then I've been feeling rather peculiar."

"Peculiar?" he asked, then decided to stop jumping around like a ninny. Instead, he'd stand on his head while his feet juggled Betty's skull! That seemed so much more practical, really. "Peculiar in what way, exactly?"

"I'm not entirely sure how to describe it," Kasumi said. "I was thinking that perhaps you ought to give me a checkup. It might make me feel more at ease."

It's a funny thing what happens when you push the human mind too far. Some people break. Some bend. Others, though, they have a really interesting reaction. They go so far off the deep end that they break the surface again, somehow managing to wind up in a more stable footing than what they started on. This exact thing happened to Doctor Tofu here and now. The notion of performing an examination on Kasumi played so deeply into his attraction to her that, well, he just couldn't help but loop right back around to the point where he was saner than sane, more professional than should really be possible, and more serious than he had been around her in quite a long, long time.

"Please sit down," he calmly, seriously instructed. "I'd like to start with your heart rate."

You know, now that he was thinking about it... Had her breasts always been that large? He was pretty sure that she wasn't quite that busty. He placed the cold metal of the stethoscope onto a part of her exposed flesh and somehow maintained that cool professional air. Others wouldn't have. Especially not when she gasped a little in a manner that could almost be construed as erotic.

So far as he could tell, her heart rate was perfectly normal. Yet there was definitely something wrong here... Her breasts were definitely not that big before, were they? She was not the sort to have them enhanced, certainly had no cause to do so either when they were perfectly fine the way they were.

"Pardon me one moment," he said, and then without a trace of lustful intention he gently squeezed the side of one of her breasts through her dress. Completely real. Natural. Perfect. Ah, but now the lust was starting to creep in a little bit and -

And all of a sudden he was feeling a little peculiar himself. Quite dizzy, actually. Before he even knew what was happening he was toppling over and found himself acquiring a faceful of cleavage for his trouble.

"Oh my!" Kasumi gasped, and again there was an odd hint of an erotic tone to it. "Doctor Tofu! I had no idea you felt this strongly about me."

"Mmmph?" he asked, and with each passing moment he was finding it harder to stand back up. Not least of which because of how completely comfortable it was down here.

"Well, I'd been rather hoping Akane would get over her crush on you before making my own move... Maybe that's what this strange feeling is I've been having all day? Oh! I'd love to stay and make love with you, but I just can't do that to my little sister."

She patted him on the back of his head, extracted his face from the warm, comfortable place it had lain and set him down on the bed. Where he gurgled in a rather unintelligible manner, not so much because he couldn't think at all and more because it was all he had the strength to do.

"I am so sorry," Kasumi said. "But I need to think about this. Thank you, Doctor. I'm suddenly feeling quite a bit better now."

"Don menshun iiii..." he slurred. Weird. What exactly was that? And why did he suddenly feel so tired when usually he was quite energetic after a visit from his goddess, his beloved, his gorgeous, kind temptress?

This might merit further investigation. Unfortunately, the only clue he had so far was Kasumi Tendo's magnificent bosom! Which meant that when he could walk again he would have to make sure to inspect carefully every single inch of it with the greatest of professional integrity!

<hr>
Turned out this lunch break had been quite an eye-opening experience for her. Amazing what you can learn when you open your eyes and actually pay attention to your surroundings instead of relying on preconceived notions. For Akane, she had learned two very important lessons.

Firstly? The boys worshipped her like a goddess. All she had to do was suggest setting up a shrine and there would be a brand new religion, with tenets of faith that practically wrote themselves and a steady set of devoted worshippers that would readily go out into the world and spread the word. Since the notion of "Akaneism" scared her in ways she didn't know she <i>could</i> be scared, that particular line of thought would not be carried out into reality, no sir!

In all seriousness? She'd put it to the test. Randomly point at a boy, politely ask him to do some random, pointless thing. They'd take one glance at her face, then down at her chest, then go off to do it with a great big dopey smile. Hell. One or two of the girls did that too! She knew she was popular, but come on already. This was too much power for her to wield!

As to the second point? Well...

"The dating pool here <b>sucks!</b>" she yelled, raising her hands to the air as if trying to push the sky just a little further away. This caused a button on her uniform to pop, and two boys that happened to be walking by fainted on the spot.

"Oh, come on!" Sayuri said, twiddling her thumbs. "It's not that bad. There are some real cuties on the baseball team..."

"Yes, but they're all meatheads," she replied, banishing an image that popped up in her head immediately of a few of them giving her an examination like those inspectors had. Nope, shake that thought off! Forget how buff they were and focus on what mattered. "Not a thought between them. I tried having a conversation with them, all they wanted to talk about were my boobs or baseball."

"Not both at once?"

"Oh, they just <i>loved</i> talking about both at once! They were so boring, possessive and stupid! Not a one worth dating. Even a little." And what she didn't mention was that she trounced all of them in a series of arm wrestling contests. If they couldn't handle her when she wasn't trying, how would they handle... No, no! She wasn't just looking for easy sex! She really wanted a boyfriend. Really, she did!

"The judo club?" Yuka suggested. "They're martial artists, right? You'd have much more to talk about with them!"


"They have such a rigid style," she complained. "No diversity. They're more like hobbyists, and they're nowhere near as tough as they look. Never mind the fact that they're all a bunch of arrogant, grabby jerks to start with!" she sighed and flopped down on the ground, quickly buttoning back up (to the disappointment of a few boys staring out of a window above her).

Much like the baseball team, she'd trounced them all in turn without breaking a sweat. That was a big part of her problem, really. She was strong. Really strong. As in, professional MMA fighters wished they were this strong. That wasn't even her bragging. Had she the urge and the motivation to do so then Akane could easily tie a regular human being into a pretzel.

It was her opinion that the inspectors had been lucky, or maybe protected somehow by the authority of their position (after all, if they could enhance busts the way they did then who knows what else they could do?) because right now, the way she was feeling, if she went in to kiss just about any of the guys she'd seen in school today she might accidentally knock them clean unconscious, and not because her kisses were that damn good! Date one of the inspectors? Good idea, except... Conflict of interest with dating someone they've inspected? Oh dear...

"Look, there's not a single boy in school worth dating! No wonder I was never interested before. They're all so... Immature or dull or nasty pieces of work. In fact, if I were to rate every boy in school, the one most worth my time dating would be -"

She stopped, and stared ahead into empty space. No. No way. That couldn't be right. That thought couldn't possibly complete itself. Yet there it was. Assembling in her mind like some great, non-Euclidean puzzle that promised to bring forth naught but madness and darkness upon completion. Of all the boys that attended the school, there was only one of them that actually came anywhere near the criteria she would set for a realistic boyfriend.

He was a martial artist. He was... Interesting. In a sense. He had features that might be considered handsome. He was stronger than her, so he could take anything she did by accident. He was interested in more than just her body, if the things he said were any kind of indicator. Also he was plenty rich, not that this mattered much to her. The only problem was -

"Ah, fair Akane!" the boy in question said. "I hear you have been expressing a desire to let down your guard at last and engage in the practise of dating! But I will not permit this until you have been defeated in combat, and today I shall -"

Get kicked in the face. Really, most of his own momentum did it to him. Still. He did have a point. She at least wanted someone strong enough to handle her, because, let's be honest, she's not exactly the easiest person in the world to get on with when she's a little pissed off. Behind her, she noticed the boys from before standing up, so Akane turned towards them and pouted at them. They reeled a little bit so she clasped her hands behind her back and cutely bent over.

"Could you please take this garbage away and put him somewhere uncomfortable?"

"Yes, ma'am!" the boys saluted, smartly hopping over towards the barely conscious idiot, hefting him up between themselves and smartly marching off to god knows where. She honestly didn't want to know, and cared even less than that. Though this did give her something to think about.

If Kuno was the best option out of all the boys in school for dating, and she really did want to at least try dating once, then there was only one rational outcome. Only one course of events for her to follow, and even though she wasn't exactly happy with it... What choice did she ultimately have?

"Time to visit other schools in the area," she declared, striking a dramatic pose with hands on hips and an expression of absolute, fierce determination. "And check out all the hot guys they have there!"


  1. Akane pays a visit to Kolhotz High
  2. Akane pays a visit to Seisyun High
  3. Akane pays a visit to a whole other school.
  4. Meanwhile, Nabiki gets to do an inspection.
  5. Meanwhile, Kasumi's breasts drain someone else.
  6. Something else

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