Story: Quadranma

Now, Kasumi Tendo was the kind of woman that had a bit of a different kind of thought process from most people. She tried to think the best of others. Tried to make them feel at ease. Even someone as abrasive as Isamu probably just needed a hug and a kind word to make him feel better.

Which might be why her response to seeing Isamu's member suddenly swell up to the point that it seemed his trousers were about to burst wasn't mortal terror, merely an astonished gasp. When the boy collapsed onto his back, grunting and writhing in blatant agony her instincts to help him immediately moved her to undo the knot on the rope around his waist and gently tug his trousers down, allowing the monster within to be released.

"Oh my," she said, staring at it in the manner one might a rearing cobra. "That... Cannot possibly be healthy! You poor, poor thing!"

"Huh? What?" Isamu asked, hips slightly bucking against his will. "I don't need your pity! All I need is for that jerkface to stop fucking -" Kasumi gave him a stern look that made even Isamu blanche. "I mean, having sex with his <i>charming</i> wife all the time."

So, what did Kasumi really think about everything going on just now? Well. She didn't really intend to get married. The various Ranmas all seemed charming to her in their own ways, but she never really went for younger men. You might call her the mature one. Not just out of the sisters. Not even out of the Tendo family. Just, out of everyone on the premises right then. I mean, have you seen her competition? Second place is at best a distant dot on the horizon.

Her opinion on the curse was that it seemed to be complicating all of their lives a little bit. Akihito seemed to be happy with his bride, and Ranko was plenty jovial. It was only Ranma and Isamu that were upset about the situation out of the visitors, and Isamu's reaction had been far more harsh than Ranma's. Now, it was never Kasumi's intention to do anything like wed either of them. Heaven forbid, they simply weren't her type at all. But leaving someone in such an obviously foul mood to sulk on their own... It just wasn't right.

As for his giant phallus, a kind of medical fascination was creeping in. She had been borrowing plenty of anatomy books from Doctor Tofu, in the vain hope that maybe he would stop goofing around and ask her out already - now there was a man she could sink her teeth into! What, Kasumi's not allowed to find a handsome, charming young man with a steady career sexually appealing? Please, she's not made of stone - so she'd learned quite a few things about, for example, male reproductive organs. Not from close-up, real life examination - despite her best efforts to get Tofu to give her the opportunity - but from plenty of reading and thorough diagrams.

Which was why she was certain that what she was seeing right now could not possibly be healthy or natural.

"What're you staring at?" Isamu grumbled, trying to cover himself up but pretty spectacularly failing due to the sheer girth of what he was packing.

"Do all of you have a penis that big?" she asked, adopting her best Nurse Kasumi tone of voice. Isamu rolled her eyes, so Kasumi grabbed hold of the side of his face and made him look her right in the eyes. "This is serious, Isamu. A penis with this girth and weight could lead to serious medical issues in your future. Not to mention the social problems it might cause."

"You ain't gonna shut up unless I tell you, huh?" he grumbled. "Fine! It's just some stupid magic spell, nothing to do with the curse. I've gotten pretty good at keeping it hidden away, 'cept when jerkface gets it on with his lady. For some reason that makes us all feel what he's feeling. Ah!"

"I see," Kasumi said, internally noting the unusual effect of the curse this was clearly having on them. Combine that with this... bizarre additional spell he was labouring under, and it was quite obvious to her why this young man was in such a sour mood all the time.

He needed to get laid. Not because of some psychic feedback from his "brother", but more because he was experiencing it with someone special of his own. A special woman that could somehow take that monster and grant him the satisfaction he needs. Not herself, obviously. But maybe if she could find someone else...

This line of thinking seemed completely natural to Kasumi, and became even more so the longer that she stared at Isamu's erect dick. It occurred to her out of the blue that maybe more than one woman might be necessary for a monster that size. It didn't seem all that important that logic dictated what would necessarily happen when Isamu started having sex as well, that the others would then be the ones to receive the psychic feedback. None of them had to contend with a dick-enlarging spell that would cause all kinds of untold problems in Isamu's future.

"Don't worry," Kasumi said after a moment. "I won't tell anyone about this. But please, I must insist that you have this examined at the first opportunity."

"Feh. Fine, whatever! If it helps me get rid of this damned thing, I'm all for it."

Funny thing really. The thought of getting rid of it never even entered Kasumi's mind. Unless of course one counted making it disappear into a woman's sopping wet pussy. The only question Kasumi was pondering was who the lucky girl might be.
<hr>
Nabiki wasn't the kind of girl that made friends easily. Minions? Yep. Patsies? Ohhh yes! A person she could interact with on a more or less equal level was a rare thing indeed. Yet here she was with a kindred spirit in Ranko Saotome, trickster minx and martial artist extraordinaire!

That was literally the phrase she used when they were alone together, by the way. Gave a pretty deep bow while she was at it. Then up onto the fence like a cat, and made it look effortlessly casual while she was doing it.

"So, your brothers, then," Nabiki said, strolling down on the ground below and peeking up at the girl striding the fence. "One is married, the other two are adamantly against it. Should we perhaps arrange to fix that situation?"

"You offering to marry one of them?"

"Perish the thought," Nabiki replied. "The words 'cute but stupid' seem to apply. Probably fun for a roll in the hay, but not much beyond that. I was more thinking of setting up one of them with Akane."

"Oooh, Master of trolling, I bow to your wisdom! This is why you really wanted to get me alone, then? Shame. I thought you might have wanted fun of a different sort..."

"Hmph!" Nabiki rolled her eyes. "What kind of Master of trolling would I be if I rose to such obvious bait?"

"Who's baiting?" Ranko said, licking her lips. "I know your type. You're the type that just lives to have fun. You play with other people 'cause it's easy and they're idiots. You really mean to tell me you're not at least a little curious?"

Well now. Nabiki had to hand it to the girl. She had rather a natural talent for saying the right things to a person to prompt a response, or at least force them into an uncomfortable situation. She regarded the figure up on the fence a little more carefully. Not like the others. Not just a pretty face on a hot bod. There was a brain in there. A wicked, twisted brain that knew how hot she was and knew exactly how to use it.

"Alright," Nabiki said. "After I show you around Furinkan, we meet up in my room."

"Hehehe!" Ranko cackled. "You think I'm playing gay chicken! That's the trouble with us smartarses. Sometimes we get a little too smart for our own good!"

"Too late to pull out now," Nabiki said with a wry smirk. "Unless you want to admit you're full of it."

"Who's pulling out?" Ranko asked, hopping off the fence to meet Nabiki face to face. "I was thinking that after I've reduced you to a sweaty moaning heap we could talk about setting up Ranma, Isamu or both at once with your little sister."

"Mmm, I love pillow talk," Nabiki chuckled, leaning forward as if to kiss Ranko full on the mouth. "Why even wait until we get back to my room? I can barely keep myself away."

The two of them leaned in, mouths slightly open. Gradually drawing closer and closer by the second. It was the kind of scene that made straight men for a mile around suddenly stop whatever they were doing and stare at the sky, smiling to themselves for no apparent reason. Any moment now the two extremely attractive girls would lock lips, which grew closer and closer, inch by inch until at last Ranko veered away at the very last inch.

"Hail to the Queen!" Nabiki triumphantly declared. "Good effort, but not quite good enough. Better luck next time."

Which is when she caught herself smiling. Really now. Genuinely smiling. Not her sarcastic smirk, not the smile she used when she was looking down on someone. Just an honest-to-goodness smile drawn about because she was enjoying the company of another human being. She hadn't even put a bet on who would win that little game just now. It had just been a little bit of fun between friends.

"I'll get you next time," Ranko sniffed. "Just you see if I - Oooohaaaaow!"

The pigtailed girl collapsed forward, grasping onto Nabiki's shoulders for support. Already? Look at the way she was trembling like that. Honestly now. It was probably the best imitation she'd ever seen of someone feigning sexual ecstasy. But really. If she was going to try to pull something she'd have been better off at least waiting a little bit -

Well, that had been what Nabiki was thinking. Up until Ranko suddenly smooched her. Give her this much, she knew what that tongue was supposed to be doing. Her new friend moaned into her mouth, then suddenly pushed away.

"Ugh!" Ranko said. "Sorry, sorry! It's a little side effect of this curse. Whenever Akihito has sex with Shampoo the rest of us all feel it as well. I wouldn't mind so much but it makes me <i>amazingly</i> bisexual while it's happening."

"Th-that's quite alright," Nabiki replied. "Actually, this might give us other avenues to have fun with your brothers. For instance, maybe we could set you up with a boyfriend? How does that sound?"

<hr>
Her sister always told her, Akane, you got a short fuse on a big pile of gunpowder. Well, it wasn't something she could exactly help, now could she? With the way those boys at school kept drooling over her like she was a piece of meat. With the way they kept fighting her like she was a prize to be won. With the way Kuno just wouldn't leave her alone already, enough is enough! She's not interested and the only guy she was interested in had a crush on her sister you could see from space!

So yeah. Little pissed off at her romantic prospects even before finding out she or her sisters had to marry some boy that none of them even knew. At the very least she could be grateful that the arrogant one was taken. Which left one that was in a perpetually bad mood, and another that honestly seemed pretty normal all things considered.

Ranma. She wasn't entirely certain about him quite yet. On the one hand, technically her father was going to try and give away the dojo to him or that Isamu jerk at the first opportunity. That sort of rankled a bit. On the other hand... She could kind of see it in his eyes. The stress. The frustration. She saw it in herself every morning when she looked in the mirror. That whole freaky curse was getting to him a little.

Now, that didn't mean she liked the guy or anything. Really, no tsundere "It's not like I like you or anything!" here; she legitimately did not know enough about this boy to judge him as a person. She didn't trust him yet. Didn't have the faintest clue how to treat him. So why not go for something she did know a little about?

"So this is our training hall," she said, feigning a little smile. "While we're here... You're a martial artist, right? How about a little friendly sparring contest?"

"Now you're talking my language," Ranma said, and there was an almost imperceptible shift in his body language that Akane barely caught, and only because she was watching him as carefully as she was. If she were even the slightest trace more relaxed she would have completely missed it. "No offense or anything, but I haven't the slightest intention of getting hitched any time soon. Not to you, not to any of your sisters."

"Suits me fine," Akane replied, adopting a more typical and traditional defensive posture. "None of you especially strike me as being my type anyway."

She threw a punch, a pretty light one aimed at the shoulder. Ranma ducked easily, just barely out of arm's length, and snapped back into position almost at the same time she withdrew her arm. She tried again for the other shoulder, same thing happened again. Next she aimed lower. He stepped back. Right. So, twice might be a coincidence but three times is a pattern. This boy was <i>good</i>. Certainly better than the others she'd been fighting. Better than Kuno as well.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma replied.

"One of you is a girl," Akane began, watching for a vulnerable spot and periodically testing out her sparring opponent's reaction time with random jabs that hit naught but air. "Another is married. Even if those weren't the case, you all seem immature in different ways."

"Hey!" Ranma said, suddenly in her face. It dawned on Akane all of a sudden that she was alone, sparring against a (kind of handsome and fit, she wasn't blind) boy her own age that she didn't know, and he was in a league above hers that she didn't even know existed until right that very moment. "I can be plenty mature if I wanna be."

One might assume this meant Akane was afraid. Nope! If anything it just made her angry. She made to push Ranma back, but he stepped aside and tapped the back of her head to punctuate the point. Really drive it home. This level of speed wasn't something she could hope to match.

"Seems to me like if I wasn't mature I'd have been hitting on you this whole time."

Akane stumbled forward, defeated. The words of Kuno's proclamation rang in her mind. To date her, first defeat her. Well. Ranma had defeated her. Yet contrast that with what he was saying. He wasn't interested in dating anyone, was he? Sure, sparring with her the way he did was kind of humiliating, but he hadn't tried to grapple with her and barely even touched her, or even looked at her body in anything resembling a perverted way.

Maybe he wasn't quite so bad as the others after all?

"Listen," Akane said, wearily turning around. "I'm sorry. You've been through a lot recently and - Ranma? What's the matter?"

"... I'm going to kill that bastard," Ranma said, leaning against the wall in the corner with his back turned. "Ah! We gotta set down some sort of timetable for them to follow so this doesn't happen." He punched the wall and his knees seemed to buckle out from under him. "Nggh!"

Now, Akane may have a wicked temper. She does. She really does. But she's like anyone else that sees someone obviously suffering, obviously going through something painful right in front of them. She can't leave it alone. Not when there might be something she could do.

"Ranma?" she asked, tentatively stepping forward. "What's wrong?"

"Might want to stay back," Ranma replied, waving her off. "I need a little privacy, that's all."

"Do you need a doctor?" Akane stepped forward again. Was she being stubbornly kind, or kind of stubborn? Perhaps both. Regardless, she reached out a reassuring hand to touch Ranma on the shoulder, saying, "I want to help. Tell me what's -"

Which is when all of a sudden she found herself being grappled, dipped and kissed in approximately that order. It sort of took her a second to realise it even happened, it happened so quickly. All she was aware of at first was an unfamiliar pleasing sensation in her mouth coupled with a sudden bout of dizziness, and the very next second her hand was reaching up for the back of Ranma's head.

Whereupon she tugged reeeally hard and tossed him clear across the hall, where he collapsed and lay very still with an extremely obvious lump in his trousers aimed up at the ceiling.

"Hmph!" Akane harrumphed, storming out of the dojo. "I should have known! Just like all the other boys."

Honestly now. Letting her guard down like that. Akane touched her lips. That had been her first kiss. Not exactly how she imagined it happening if she was being perfectly honest. She had always sort of imagined it being a little more romantic than that. Maybe over a candlelit dinner when she was wearing a nice dress or at least clothes prettier than her training gear. Ugh, this definitely made the whole marriage thing impossible! Of the two available options Ranma had seemed the more sensible, if it absolutely had to happen, but if that was how he behaved then she was going to go right up to Daddy and tell him to call the whole thing -

"Oh, Akane!" Kasumi called. "I was wondering, have you seen Ranma or Ranko anywhere?"

"I think Ranko is out with Nabiki still," Akane sniffed. "As for Ranma, he's in the training hall just now. He -"

"It might be best to leave him alone for a little while," Kasumi said in hushed tones. "I was just talking with Isamu, and it seems this curse has an unexpected side effect they didn't mention."

You know how it is when you're sort of aware you might have made some kind of mistake but you don't have the confirmation yet? Just a sort of creeping suspicion when you start to play it back in your mind.

"What sort of side effect?" she asked.

"Well, it seems as though whenever Akihito and Shampoo - ahem - engage in married duties, the other three are struck by a potent psychic feedback. I think it might be best if we helped them keep from embarrassing themselves and left them alone when it happens."

"I see," Akane slowly said. If you looked carefully enough you might see the cogs turning in her brain. "And I suppose it might make them behave weirdly as well?"

"Oh my, almost certainly," Kasumi nodded. "The psychological ramifications could become quite intense, in particular if they're in the presence of someone they are physically attracted to. Now, we probably should not mention this to any of them, as I expect it's quite a sore point."

"Of course," Akane said, backing away slightly. "Um... You go find Daddy and let him know as well. There's... something I need to take care of."

And as she retreated back towards the training hall Akane didn't even notice the faint smile on Kasumi's face growing a touch more devious and calculating than anyone had ever seen from her before. Then, with the slightest twinge of facial muscles, it was gone and replaced with her more normal serene and gentle expression.

1. Akane heads back to talk to Ranma
2. Ranko goes cruising for guys, encounters Kuno
3. Ryoga appears in Furinkan, runs into Ranko and Nabiki.
4. Kasumi sets about trying to figure out who would be a good match for Isamu.
5. Something else