Monday, 3 March 2014

Story: Secrets of Titnosis: Mihoshi Gets

And while I'm doing a Tenchi story, might as well indulge in something that made me think "oh no, that would be disastrously funny and sexy." I can only speculate where this one is going.


There exist certain puzzles within the universe that are never meant to be solved. Certain secrets that must never be uttered, certain factors that must never be untangled. Deep, deep within a cave on an isolated world far away from Earth that even light sees the distance and lets out a low whistle was a sinister woman with sinister intentions, clutching at a book and laughing uproariously.

“I found it!” she hissed. “This book will grant me a power the likes of which the universe has never before seen! I shall be unstoppable! With this book and my cunning, nobody can stand in my way! Nobody!”

At which point, right on cue, a Galaxy Police shuttle crash landed right in through the top of the cave, causing rubble to pile up on her in a rather comical fashion.

“Mihoshi! I said second star on the right! Not first star on the left!”

“Ah! Sorry, Kiyone! It looks like I spilled some glitter on the scanner!”

Oh, yes. Mihoshi, the seemingly invincible ditz. Kiyone, her not-so-invincible partner. One of the most dangerous pairs within the Galaxy Police, whose names were feared by all who even thought to break the law. Though not quite for the reason that officers might wish that were the case, at least from where Kiyone was standing. After all, it’s rather difficult to build a good reputation for yourself when a certain klutz keeps on crashing shuttles and causing disasters wherever she went, oh, it became rather <i>difficult</i>. In a sense Kiyone was in a catch-22 kind of situation, in that the very reason she wanted to be promoted and transferred elsewhere - anywhere else, please - was the very same thing that was keeping her in place.

But at the same time, if she demonstrated too much competence in keeping Mihoshi restrained then she’d be kept there to make sure the leash was on nice and tight, thank you very much. Either way she played the game, she lost. So, she just decided to do her best because what else was there for her to do? She had too much integrity and pride in her work to try to fail on purpose anyway.

Speaking of pride in her work, Kiyone peered outside and noticed that Mihoshi’s clumsy driving had accidentally caused someone to get themselves buried under rubble. They were making a rather obvious attempt to free themselves which was going absolutely nowhere.

“Look what you did, Mihoshi!” Kiyone snapped as she leaped out of the shuttle and dashed over towards the poor victim. “Be more careful in future!”

“Kiyone! Where are you going? Oh gosh, would you look at that?”

While Kiyone pulled away the rubble burying the poor woman, Mihoshi staggered along behind her. When a few minutes passed, during which time Mihoshi should have easily caught up with her to help dig this woman out, Kiyone turned around and rolled her eyes when she realised that Mihoshi had stopped to read a book. She had half a mind to insist on assistance, but stopped when a memory suddenly leaped to the front of her brain.

This woman wasn’t just any victim of Mihoshi’s clumsiness. This was a wanted criminal mastermind, well known for attempts to steal from prominent laboratories, archaeological sites and a variety of governmental storage facilities throughout the galaxy. She roughly yanked the woman free and struggled to pin her to the ground so she could slap some cuffs on her. Yes! A lucky break like this was exactly what she needed! She reached for the cuffs with a spare hand and the hand came back with a bottle opener.

“Boobicus maximus,” Mihoshi mumbled.

“Mihoshi!” Kiyone called, struggling to keep the dangerous criminal from getting free. “A little help here! What are… You… Doing?”

She’d just so happened to glance up, and beheld perfection. Mihoshi’s bust had completely torn through her uniform, and she was just sort of standing there looking at it in disbelief when in truth she should have been looking in reverence. Kiyone was vaguely aware of a figure struggling beneath her that suddenly stopped, joining her in staring at the glory in front of her.

“So… Beautiful,” Kiyone whispered, succumbing entirely to the effects of titnosis.


  1. Mihoshi accidentally gives Kiyone some commands.
  2. Mihoshi drags Kiyone away to get help. Something’s gone wrong!
  3. Mihoshi’s clumsiness finds another way to make the situation worse.
  4. Someone else arrives on the planet.
  5. Something else

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