His name was Tenchi Masaki. By all appearances he was an ordinary boy, living an ordinary life. He went about his business, living a life of reasonable comfort with his father. In the summer, training with his grandfather as a priest and a swordsman and tending to the shrine. Nothing too spectacular or interesting.
Then, things <i>got</i> interesting. And they got interesting rather fast. Beginning with the moment he accidentally unleashed the beautiful space pirate/demon Ryoko who began attempts to first kill and then seduce him. Then alien princesses arrived, and the older of the two also fell in love with him. So began a romantic triangle which typically involved harsh words, explosions, covering each other’s back when a bigger threat came along, and even more attractive girls staying to live with him, no less than two members of the space police and a self-proclaimed greatest genius in the universe.
Tenchi stared up at the sky above and sighed, closing his eyes and enjoying the smell of the fresh country air. Yes. His life had become rather interesting lately. Sure, there were life and death struggles but he’d made some new friends and they were having fun together. So, why not just relax when you can and enjoy the fun while it lasts? At this rate it was impossible for him to imagine things getting too much weirder than this.
At which point a girl landed on him from out of nowhere, cursing like a sailor and struggling to get back up to her feet with rather minimal success.
“Sorry,” he said. “Excuse me! Are you alright? Please, stay calm and I’ll help you get up.”
The girl turned her attention towards him for the first time, and then a peculiar expression fell right over her face. Tenchi smiled at her, and her eyes grew wild and unblinking. Then, she scurried backwards in a crab walk like she’d seen the very devil himself. Or any one of a thousand different things that he was used to by now that would scare anyone else half to death.
“You - You - You’re!” she stammered. “But - But that’s not possible!” She looked down at her hands. “What’s happened to me? Where am I? What’s going on around here?! This is completely insane!”
“Hold still a moment. Let me take a look,” Tenchi said, and the girl recoiled away as though he might bite her. “I just want to see if you’re injured. It’s alright. I won’t hurt you.”
A faint blush tinged her lips, and Tenchi made a quick check to make sure she was alright. From what he could see there wasn’t anything obviously wrong. No trace of blood, her eyes were able to focus just fine. Still. She seemed pretty much out of it. Everything around her seemed to prompt an emotional response that didn’t make any sense to him at all. It was almost like she was seeing everything for the first time, and didn’t particularly care for what she was seeing. It wasn’t a good sign. Perhaps something internal that he wouldn’t notice? Where had she come from, anyway?
<hr>
Where the hell was she? How did she get here? <i>Why did everything look like a cartoon and why was she being treated by Tenchi Masaki?!</i>
Needless to say, Yumi was taking to her new situation like a brick to water. The grass beneath her didn’t look like real grass at all, just a blob of green until she actually picked out a strand. It felt real. Completely real. Yet it wasn’t at all. For a rational mind like her, this was completely outside of the realm of possibility.
“I’m alright,” she lied. “Really, I’m just fine. I have to be going now. Thank you for your help. Goodbye!”
And off she stormed with her mind ablaze. Looking around, it did look a hell of a lot like an area near the Masaki Shrine might look if she were to actually walk around in it. Though that did take turning her brain around a little bit to accept what was happening to her.
<i>This is insane! This is completely insane!</i>
“Uh, miss?” Tenchi (freaking TENCHI) yelled after her. “Miss, you forgot your bag!”
Her bag? Yumi stopped in her tracks and tilted her head. Her bag! She quickly dashed backwards, blushing furiously to snatch it from his grip. Her hentai! Her Tenchi Muyo-related hentai! Five distinctive volumes, each one focusing on a different girl in the series, and here she was leaving them with the man himself! Any man seeing this would be embarrassing enough but for Tenchi Masaki to actually encounter a doujinshi involving him giving Ryoko a good, hard spanking, or the time Washu invented an aphrodisiac beyond all others - Gya! It was too much! Mortified to her very soul, and maybe even deeper beyond!
“Thank you!” she said, barely controlling her stammer. The bag was clutched to her chest like a precious gem, and she backed slowly away, staring at the ground in front of Tenchi’s feet. Honestly, this whole ordeal was just a little bit too insane -
And then she felt herself bump into someone. Yumi turned around, and came face to face with a very familiar face indeed. “Oh my,” Princess Ayeka said. “You are that rather helpful shopkeeper from before, are you not? My gratitude for your advice in returning me to my - Oh, dear. She seems to have fainted.”
<hr>
It wasn’t easy being the smartest being in the universe, and it was certainly not easy being the most humble and kind and generous being either. But hey! Someone has to fill the roles and she was sure glad it was her. Unfortunately, the role did come with certain, shall we say, responsibilities? Keeping an eye on Tenchi and company was both fun and a job rolled into one sweet package (though she could do with less visits from a super clumsy police officer, thank you very much). This group kept insisting on drawing trouble down on their own heads time after time, requiring her genius to bail them out. Well. Not that she minded all that much, but still it did interfere with her work.
For example, discovering what the holy hell that was.
It looked like someone had torn a hole in the very fundamental fabric of reality. Yep. No question of that. It’s what it was, but she’d been spending the last hour or so figuring out the little details. How big a threat was it, how to close it, how it had opened in the first place… Things like that which, if not answered, could very well end up with Cthulhu crawling around and messing up everyone’s sanity. As Cthulhu does, that playful scamp never was able to wrap his mind around the effect he had on those that could only perceive Euclidean geometry, and all he ever wanted to do was play. It was rather sad in a strange little way.
So here she was out in the field where the tear originated. Easy matter to get it all closed up nice and tight. There we go. No harm given a chance to get done. Reality had been saved by its greatest genius, and absolutely nobody else she knew would have the understanding or intelligence to properly grasp either the implications or the method she’d used to do it. Phooey. Well. She could live with them not having their molecules scrambled if not their adulation.
There was just one problem. The tear was closed off, but there was something giving off a really weird signal. Something was here that was not in fact supposed to be here at all. Which meant… Something had come through from the other side. Something that didn’t belong here. Washu frowned. This could be troublesome. She could have easily teleported back to her lab, but this was a matter that could require outside assistance. An extra dozen eyes and ears ought to help out. She’d tell the others to keep an eye out for anything weird that didn’t quite belong here. Sure, it was a long shot, because none of them would probably recognise it for what it was, but it would be much better than nothing. Still. It could theoretically take quite a long time before they were able to find out what that something was, and maybe even longer still to get it into a docile, controllable state where she could -
“Tenchi,” she said, pointing towards the couch. “Who is that?”
“I’m not sure,” Tenchi said. “She sort of fell out of the sky, landed in the middle of the field.”
“You don’t say,” Washu said thoughtfully, in defiance of the fact that in point of fact, he actually had said. “In that case! We’d better give her a good old check up! Get her into my lab, and I’ll make sure she’s a-okay!”
“Well… Alright, I suppose that makes sense. She was kind of freaking out a little bit before she fainted. I think she might have hit her head or something.”
Or was completely caught off guard by the nature of this reality. It was a good sign. Likely meant there was no hostile intention. As Tenchi scooped the girl up and carried her into the closet door leading into her laboratory, Washu’s eyes fell upon a bag lying by the side of the couch. It didn’t look like something anyone here owned… Could it be that girl’s? With a wicked grin, Washu reached down and picked it up, flicked the bag open and found - Nothing at all. How anticlimactic.
If only she could have known.
<hr>
Yumi’s eyes flickered open, and she sighed deeply. What a relief. That was all just a freaky nightmare. Imagine. Landing in the Tenchi Muyo setting, at the Masaki Shrine while carrying a bag full of hentai. She was pretty sure it said something about her, but couldn’t quite be certain what that something was. Probably that she really should keep that promise to herself not to buy any more hentai in future.
“Wakey wakey,” said a voice that sounded a great deal similar to a certain redheaded scientist that was absolutely in no way a real person, never mind the greatest genius to ever exist. “Rise and shine!”
Yumi’s eyes came fully open, and she took in her surroundings with a rising sense of horror. These surroundings, in those colours. Strapped to a surprisingly comfortable bed with all manner of things attached to her body. The aesthetic, the colouration, the entire situation! Oh no! No, no, no! She’d not woken up! She was still asleep, and the nightmare had taken a turn for the worse!
“So, you’re an interesting specimen,” the voice said. “It isn’t often that I get the chance to take a look at someone from another reality attempt to integrate into ours.” And then, somehow it got that much worse when an adult-form Washu bounced into view in front of her, with a pair of barely concealed breasts that could probably smother an elephant. “My name is Washu,” she said. “I am the most brilliant and sexy genius this universe has ever known! What’s your name, little outsider girl?”
- Yumi tries to explain the situation, but Washu doesn’t buy it.
- Yumi tries to explain the situation, and Washu completely buys it.
- Before Yumi can explain anything, there is an interruption.
- Elsewhere, the plot to one of the doujinshi is playing out.
- Something else
Heh, it might be fun if Washu is told... but what could would it do her, since she thinks she always was the enormously sexual creature she now is :P
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