Monday, 29 July 2013

Urusei Yatsura: First Impressions: Friendly Rivalry

Here's a silly little thing I threw together for the fun of it. Continues from here. Enjoy!


Lum drifted back into her spaceship at the end of the race and immediately collapsed onto the floor. Not even the energy to float in place. So tired! Hm, maybe she’d consider making a “token gesture” once the planet was under their control? She could see it rather easily. That boy Ataru wearing nothing but a collar and leash.

Then every night she would reward him for good behaviour and “punish” him for bad. She sighed. Why couldn’t she get his face out of her mind? He wasn’t particularly attractive, nor was he a truly great lover… But the potential. Oh, yes. The potential was there. He was eager to learn, and seemed at least a little bit quick on the uptake. She hadn’t met someone so eager to please her since the last time she and Be-

“Hey, Lum!” her screen blared into life. “The hell was with that performance today?!”

Speak of the devil. Lum pushed herself off the floor and hovered over towards her seat. One of her best friends was scowling down at her from the screen with arms folded in front of her. Probably tapping her feet while expectantly waiting for an answer. Benten was the very image of the biker babe archetype. Not remotely afraid of showing a little skin either, and had a really cute face in spite of her rough personality. A cute face that was showing an increasing lack of patience moment by - Uh oh!

“It’s nothing,” Lum replied. “It’s probably just some stupid Earth sickness. I’ll have the medical scanner deal with it before tomorrow.”

“Huh!” Benten said, suddenly appearing behind her. “Funny! ’Cause you got that look about you like you got laid last night!”

“Kya!” Lum nearly jumped out of her skin! “D-Don’t do that! How did you get in here?!”

“After the last night we spent together you left me a key,” Benten answered. Oh, yeah. She hadn’t exactly been thinking clearly at that point. The things Benten could do with those chains… “Not. The. Point. Who did ya do it with? Haven’t seen that look in your eye since Oyuki invented the triple-pepper-flavoured ice cream!”

“Oh, it’s just your imagination,” Lum insisted, twirling her thumbs and staring hard at the ceiling. “I mean, you’re reading into things too hard.”

“You haven’t hit on me once since I got here,” Benten said, her voice deadpan, the argument lost. Damn. “So? Who was it? I want a piece of that sorta action! If they can satisfy you, they can satisfy anyone!”

“Not really fond of that particular implication there, Benten!” Lum said, turning up her nose. “Just for that, you can leave now!”

“Are we sure about that? I brought you a gift…”

She heard a container open and smelled the contents immediately. Triple pepper ice cream. “I thought she stopped making that,” Lum said.

“Turns out she was keeping some away for a special occasion,” Benten answered. “What’s it gonna be? Either you spill, or I do!”

Lum’s stomach added its own two cents to the argument, and she sighed in defeat. “Alright, but… This is going to sound a little bit silly.”
<hr>
It sounded completely silly but to hear Lum tell it this human had the potential to be the greatest pervert in the universe. What a conflict of interests this turned out to be! The scandal! The intrigue! The enthusiasm Lum exuded! How could Benten not check this out? How could she even try to stay away? Oh, no! Had to see this one firsthand! That’s why she was heading there at top speed on her airbike, grinning like a lunatic.

She knocked on the door and leaned against the outside wall. A woman opened it. Had to be Moroboshi’s mother. “Something I can do for you?” she asked. Benten put on her best “faux innocent face”. Best learned from the master of cutesy deception herself, that little witch Ran.

“Hi there!” Benten said, in the kind of voice that made her vocal cords beg for her to stop <i>right now</i> thankyouverymuch! “I’m Benten of the Gods of Luck clan! We’ve been rivals of the Oni for years and years! I’m here to give your son advice on how to beat those wicked Oni and chase them off the planet!”

And then the next thing she knew, she was in the boy’s room. All she did was blink. Earth mothers were rather scary in their own way.

“Uh… Can I help you with something?” asked a boy sitting in the corner of the room. He blinked a few times, and it was like he’d suddenly come to life. “Maybe a back rub? Oh! Or would you like me to guess your sizes? I know! You were wondering how that metal bikini suited you! Don’t change a thing, it’s a stunning look!”

This was him, huh? Yeah, no doubt. A pervert like that. You could see it in his eyes, in the way he moved and spoke. Benten smirked and patted the little recovery pill attached to her belt. She’d give him a test ride, then pep him up for the game tomorrow. Eight hours worth of sleep in an instant. If this was just a ploy to get Benten to do her dirty work for her, Lum sure had a surprise in store tomorrow….


  1. Benten finds that Ataru is too much for her to handle. He’s learning very fast!
  2. The next day, Benten can’t even walk upright while Ataru has more energy than he knows what to do with.
  3. Lum decides to check out what Benten is up to and gets drawn into all the fun.
  4. Oyuki pays Lum a visit next. Looks like Lum’s not getting any sleep tonight after all.
  5. Something else

1 comment:

  1. Hmm,
    "The deal is, I can help you win this race and become a hero for your world. But," Benten raised her hands to her top and with a quick motion removed it. "That's only if you can pass the physical."

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