A fragment of backstory may be necessary before the inevitable brawl. Truly a shame, for the whole picture in this instance is quite a fascinating one to analyse, but should we dwell on that it would take an entire novel’s length to get back to the story already in progress. One epic should be told at a time, but simultaneously it might be useful to take a peek at some vital moments from this particular universe to get a little grounding for who these characters are and where it is that they are coming from.
It all truly began in a certain palace on the Moon so very, tremendously long ago. Two women stood across from one another in the middle of the palace interior. One of them was purest evil. The other carried a heavy burden within her heart.
Of the pair, it was the evil one that spoke up first. “Traitor,” she seethed. “How dare you throw away all you have been given! This is an act of madness!”
The other woman stared back with pity in her eyes and slowly shook her head. “No. I am not insane. I was before, but now I possess a greater clarity than you ever will. Your lust for power will consume you whole and leave you a broken shell. Surrender now. The day is already lost. There is no need to prolong this any further.”
“You will regret this, Beryl!”
“I regret many things, Serenity. Deposing a tyrant is not likely to be one of them.”
“Tyrant!” Serenity sneered. “You throw the word around like a curse. Is it wrong to want law and order to prevail? Is it wrong to eliminate treasonous elements before their venom spreads? Ha! Look who I ask! The Queen Cobra herself! Chaos must be contained!”
“No matter the cost?”
“No matter the cost!”
Beryl sighed like she’d just heard the most tragic thing she’d ever heard. Perhaps in her mind it was. “That is why I fight you. No thought save that which you permit. No will save yours. No right but the power to make it so. Once this day is done I will work with the people to create a fair society. One ruled by real justice rather than arbitrary cruelty.”
Except there was one small matter bothering Beryl. The smile upon Serenity’s face. While she had initially believed the vile woman had finally snapped, that seemed less likely by the second.
“Then allow me to give you one piece of advice,” Serenity said, slowly tilting her head to stare up at the ink-black sky. “Always have a backup plan.”
Beryl reluctantly followed her gaze upwards and gasped in horror at the sight. What was that? It was huge and it looked like it was falling through the sky as though it had been dropped! Why, from this angle it almost looked like a gla-
<hr>
Then one day there was a young girl sitting in her room on her bed and staring at a talking cat. She was not afraid of it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Usagi Tsukino was getting a little bit angry at the rather obvious practical joke her brother was trying to play.
“There can be little question of it,” the black cat said. “You are without question Soldier Moon. Here. Take this and say - Hey! Put me down immediately!”
“Yeah, yeah, just one second!” Usagi said. “Let’s see. Is the camera here, or maybe some sort of speaker embedded somewhere? Huh! Nothing in the mouth to show how he got the movement so - Ow! Stupid cat! I’ll teach you for biting me!”
“Ohhh, yeah! There’s no question you’re Soldier Moon!” the cat hissed. “Take this damn ring, and say ‘Soldier Moon Armour Up’!”
“Yeah, right,” Usagi said, fingering the admittedly rather beautiful and ornate ring. Was this real gold? It certainly looked and felt real enough. “What sort of idiot do you take me for? As if I’d be dumb enough to say ‘Soldier Moon Armour Up’ for my idiot bro- Oh! What the hell is happening?”
The ring sort of folded right out in impossibly fast-moving layers all across her arm and metal spread all around her body like it was growing in place. The really weird thing was the tingly sensation accompanying it. Almost as though some sort of static was passing through her skin. By the time it reached her face, Usagi felt a surge of power lifting through her. She could almost feel her strength multiplying, her reactions escalating, her stamina skyrocketing! This was amazing! This was power!
“Excellent,” the cat said with a satisfied smirk. “Now we can finally begin our mission. We must hunt down the revived traitors, and restore the Lunar Empire. The road ahead will not be easy, Soldier Moon.”
“I don’t care,” Soldier Moon replied, smiling to herself as she willed guns to protrude from all along her arm. So cool. “I will crush my enemies and destroy all in my path. Speaking of! Hey, little brother! Want to come out and play?”
<hr>
Which leads quite nicely back to where we left off, with a trio of armoured Soldier Scouts staring down at the manga team with disdain, superiority and really big guns.
“Friends of yours?” Usagi asked, unable to tear her eyes away from those of her reflection. The malice, the anger, the outright arrogance - To see it reflected within herself made her want to cry and hug and hold this girl and tell her it was alright and she wouldn’t judge her for being this way if only she could let it go.
The duplicate Sailor Jupiter shook her head and scowled at the intruding trio with an expression that was either lust or the will to fight. The scary part was it might even have been both.
“Commander Moon!” the Mercury lookalike suddenly said. “My readings for the whore indicate we should treat her as a priority target. Recommend capture and interrogation.”
“Noted! Now, I want all of you down on the ground! Disobedience brings pain! Extended disobedience causes one of your friends to die!”
It broke Usagi’s heart to see anyone enjoying this kind of behaviour. Anyone could see that she was revelling in it. What could turn someone’s heart so black? What could make someone so - So evil?
Which was a bit of a distraction from what should probably have been her main question: What was going on around here?!
<hr>
What in the world was even happening around here? One minute she’s about to participate in a purification orgy, then all this! Ugh! Sexy Jupiter really did not need this right now, thank you very much! Taking a good look at these girls, she could tell: They were prudes. The whole lot of them. Even the other her! Come on, flaunt that hot bod a bit. You’ve got the talent, so use it already!
But as bad as they were, the other trio were somehow worse. Oh, sure, it looked sorta kinda like their sailor uniform, but this design got a big thumbs down from Sexy Jupiter. The leotard was replaced with this metallic armour with the same sort of colouration. The white gloves were more like gauntlets, the tiara was replaced with a helmet and the skirt… Well. Could you even call something that covered the knees a skirt? It looked more like a sheet of coloured metal draped down in front! And then there were the things on their arms! They differed between the three.
Moon had a pair of nasty-looking crescent-shaped blades that were a little too kinky for even Sexy Jupiter’s taste. They went all the way up the arm, starting right from the knuckles. Looked like there was some sort of launching mechanism too. Mercury had some sort of keyboard embedded into her arm, and she was tapping away at it from the back of the group while her glasses flashed. As for Mars - was that a miniature flamethrower strapped to her arm? Either way it was pointed right at Sexy Jupiter, and she was hardly in the mood for anything like that at the moment.
“Are you thinking of trying something?” Soldier Mars sneered. “I hope so! I wonder what it would be like to watch you burn to death? I should offer up a prayer and ask you in the afterlife!”
“Everyone transform!” the prudish Usagi yelled from behind her, and Sexy Jupiter heard a familiar set of cries accompanied by flashes of light. Also known as the greatest distraction imaginable. Mars’ eyes shifted only for a moment but that single moment was more than enough to slip inside her guard.
“Supreme Thunder Makeout!” Sexy Jupiter yelled. Soldier Mars gasped at the sudden proximity and then whimpered in surpise when Jupiter’s lips landed square on hers.
“In the name of the Moon I will - Wait. What are they doing? Gross!”
Sexy Jupiter’s danger sense flared up and she tore away from Soldier Mars at a record pace. Good thing, too. Soldier Moon had just tried to cut her in two with her crescent moon punch from hell.
“Get your hands off her, you filthy worm!” Soldier Moon yelled. “You shall pay for this indignity! As for you, Mars, snap to! On the double!”
Soldier Mars reached a hand to touch to her lips, but inches before contact a spark flew between them. “I feel rather st- Ah! Ah!” her knees buckled and her moans became rather orgasmic in nature. Music to Sexy Jupiter’s ears. “F-Forgive this display of weakness! I - I have never felt anything like - Like! Ah!”
“Mercury! Report!”
“It appears to be some form of electrical stimulus, inducing a near paralytic pleasure response throughout her entire body.”
“Stop talking gibberish and tell me what’s wrong with her!”
Sexy Jupiter crouched down, and licked her lips. Wanna throw down, Soldier Moon? There’s plenty more where that came from, and besides which the numbers were in her favour. Big time.
“You kissed her,” said the Mars standing behind her. Rather than the one convulsing in orgasmic bliss on the floor. “You kissed her and made her -”
“I refuse,” Jupiter said. “I refuse to believe any of this is happening. I refuse to believe I woke up today. I ate some bad fish or something, and this is all a fever dream. I refuse all other possibilities.”
<hr>
It was so uncomfortable here, but she didn’t want to move an inch. Not even an inch.
“Hey, wake up!”
“Mm… Just five more minutes, Mom…”
Ugh… She’d be late for school again, but given how she was feeling she didn’t care a bit of it. All she wanted to do was lie here and dream this strangely erotic dream about herself and her friends with greatly enhanced figures and very little clothing flirting with every cute guy or girl they could draw the attention of. Then they would take over the world while saving it from Queen Beryl and preventing her from reviving -
“Sailor Venus! Please wake up!”
Her eyes snapped open and her position changed sharply towards upright. Sailor Venus patted herself down. Normal figure. No battle armour. Clothing was… kinda skimpier than she’d ever really thought about it before, but not to the ludicrous extremes it had been in the dream. That vivid, vivid dream. Honestly. Using her Love-Me Chain for BDSM one moment, actual proper interrogation the next! The juxtaposition was terrifying enough that she used the word internally before realising she didn’t know -
“Wait. What is a juxtaposition?”
“When you put two things next to each other, usually for the sake of comparison or contrast,” Sailor Mercury answered without missing a beat. Gosh, she was kind of cute when she was showing off how smart she was. “Are you feeling alright?” Venus nodded. “We should check for signs of injury, just to make certain.”
“You really gave us a scare just now,” Sailor Moon said. That compassion and concern in her eyes. It really did fit a princess like her.
A princess like her.
The world seemed to dip and turn for a moment there, but the feeling soon lapsed. None too soon as far as she was concerned.
“It felt like - I don’t even know how to describe it. I guess it was sort of like someone was pouring memories into my head, and I didn’t know where they were coming from.”
And they all featured the people sitting or standing around her now with concerned expressions. Her new teammates. Her new friends. Gosh, what a terrible first impression! What must they think of her now?
Unfortunately there was no time to consider such things as Mars’s eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed to the ground with the most peculiar smile on her face.
- Another universe makes itself known.
- Back in the sexy universe, what are they doing about Jupiter’s disappearance?
- The manga scouts decide to take action, and question Sexy Jupiter and the soldiers about what even the hell.
- The soldiers decide to retreat for the time being, or are whisked away to another universe.
- Something else
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