The first thing Ranma noticed upon landing within the spring (besides the obvious: Cold and damp) was that for whatever reason it was rather cramped in here. Odd. The spring looked pretty big, all truth told… and come to think of it, that wasn’t dirt his arm brushed up against. It felt more like -
Air! He gulped in a greedy mouthful the instant he broke the surface, only then opening his eyes and staring back into a rather stunned reflection that was bobbing above the water’s surface. Not that he had long to stare before a tremendous force threw him out of the spring and back into the air.
Reflexes sharpened and honed by years of the fat man stealing his food took automatic control. A nearby bamboo pole was seized by a strong pair of hands and used to guide his descent onto a firmer, less watery and curse-filled landing. Only once he was on solid ground did Ranma allow himself to relax and look at both himself and his surroundings… only to see no less than three hims looking around at each other in complete confusion.
“Sir fall in Spring of Drowned Quadruplets,” the guide explained, having returned with a stack of towels that he carefully passed out to each Ranma in turn. “Is tragic story of quadruplets who fall in spring and drown. Now all who fall in spring turn into quadruplet!”
One of the Ranmas chuckled while wiping down his neck. “Well, it’s obvious which of us is the real one. Right? I mean, I’m way more handsome than the rest of you.”
“Those are fighting words!” another Ranma yelled, leaping into a defensive posture. “Come on! Show me what you got!”
“Huh?” the other Ranma said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. I thought for a moment that some handsome devil was drowning in that spring, but it turned out to be my own reflection.”
The third of the other three Ranmas stepped between the others, and… Something was a bit different about this one. Shorter by about a head. Hair had this weird red tinge to it, and there was something odd about the way he was moving. Then again, Ranma realised he was no expert on watching himself walk. This whole encounter was just too bizarre for him to do anything but watch with a slackened jaw.
“Oh, you didn’t miss much,” the third Ranma said, with an oddly higher pitched tone of voice. “He just said that he’d never seen an uglier, stupider-looking son of a bitch in his entire life. I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Especially when he emphasised his point with a venn diagram.”
“Ugly? Stupid looking?” the vain him sniffed and folded his arms passive aggressively. “Well then, it’s obvious that someone here needs to have his eyes checked.”
“Are you just gonna take that?” the shorter him said to the one in the fighting stance. “He just said you’re half blind, and couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn door if you were standing in front of it.”
The first fist was thrown and ducked under in easy order, then a proper fight broke out moments later. The vain one was largely on the defensive, particularly being protective of his face while the more aggressive one was raining down a furious assault from seemingly every angle. Ranma scratched his head and shook it in confusion. Why were these other hims acting so odd?
“Popcorn?” the shorter him said, having sat down with a bucket procured from god only knows where. Ranma nodded, then sat down next to this strange figure that was so like him, yet so different. Why shorter? Why the voice? And what was wrong with his chest?
Oh.
“Are those breasts?”
“Huh?” the girl him said, staring down at them in mild confusion and fascination. “Oh yeah. I guess they are. Awesome.”
“What do you mean awesome?” Ranma asked, knowing that somehow he’d regret the question.
“Oh, it’s nothing much,” the girl Ranma chuckled, flicking a bit of popcorn into her open mouth with effortless ease. “Just think of all the fun I can have like this! I mean,” she turned to him and batted her eyes in a manner he took for being seductive, and became rather critically aware of the unavoidable fact that, while he may indeed make a handsome man he also made for a rather stunningly beautiful girl. “Who can resist a cutie like me?”
Ranma retched, the girl laughed uproariously. Oh, but how could any curse be worse than this?!
<hr>
An awkward hour passed and the Jusenkyo guide had somehow managed to find enough seats to accommodate everyone… except himself.
“I no mind, honoured guests. Is best I be good host and stand while you sit.”
And that was that. Well, maybe not quite. Ranma looked around the table and felt an odd sort of twinge. His family had always been just him and his old man, but now? Him and him and him and her and a panda.
The other two hims were quite deliberately seated with the panda in between them, while to the left of the vain him she sat there and flirted with him endlessly while seeming to relish his uncomfortable reaction. But, he could not ignore her because just whenever it looked like he was about to start she would compliment his good looks and suck him back in. In the meantime, the aggressive him was giving pops and him all sorts of mean looks.
It all reminded Ranma of a powder keg waiting for a match.
The guide made a loud cough that drew all of their attention, revealing the kettle he was holding. “Curse is undone by hot water, but triggered again by cold,” the guide said while walking over to the panda. “See? He become panda again.”
Sure enough, once the panda had hot water poured over his head he became a stout man in a dirty gi. Not much of -
“Not much of an improvement,” the girl Ranma chuckled.
“Pardon me for but a moment of ignorance, but one problem does become rather obvious,” the vain one remarked. “It would appear that my curse is not quite the same as his. What will cause these inferior duplicates to vanish?”
Hey, how does -
“Hey, how do you know you’re the original?” the aggressive one yelled. “Maybe I am! Maybe he is! It probably ain’t the chick, but it could be any of the three of us!”
“I’m not real?” the girl said with a lip that was trembling just a little too much. “But- but I’m too <i>cute</i> not to exist! Aren’t I adorable? Oh, please don’t make me go away! Please! I’m too pretty and young!”
“Ahem. Yours is special case. Would need all four in direct contact, and all four in hot water at same time. Undo curse more complicated in your case. Is sorry.”
“Well, I guess I can live with having some more sparring partners than the old man!”
“Mind your manners, boy!”
“Or what, old man? You’re outnumbered. Think you’re good enough to handle all four at once?”
It was a rare thing to watch the gears start to turn in the old man’s head. Perhaps the mouse turning the wheels finally woke up and noticed the cheese? Whatever the case, Genma started to do the math, looked around the room at the four pairs of eyes locked onto him, and turned a whiter white than his gi had been in years.
“Well… I suppose it would be good to have the rest of you around to make myself look even better by comparison,” the vain one wearily sighed.
“Aw, don’t be like that,” the girl Ranma said, clamping onto his arm with lovey-dovey eyes. “We’re gonna have soooo much fun together! But say, he’s been pretty quiet! What does he think about all of this?”
The other three Ranmas turned towards him, and the question hung in the air like a bad odor. What <i>did</i> he think of all of this? Three insane siblings out of nowhere. The four of them collectively made his old man worried. The fight for food would be a lot harder for all of them, but then again they should be pretty good sparring partners as well…
“I think we oughta work out what our names are gonna be,” he finally said. “We can’t all be Ranma.”
“Hm. That’s not a bad idea,” the girl said. “I’ll go first. How about Ranko? I am a pretty wild child, you have to agree!”
“Yes, fine, whatever!” the vain one replied absently. “Please, let go of my arm, um, Ranko. You’ll give it the most ghastly bruise!”
Ranko giggled and obliged, but Ranma was left with the odd feeling that she only did it so that she could engage in some other torment. “Trick is, one of you is gonna have to be Ranma. Which is it gonna be?”
“I think that should be my decision,” Genma sniffed. “I know my own son, and it would be easier than to have you three bicker for hours at a time. From what I have seen of your behaviour so far, the choice is quite clearly the one sitting opposite me: You emphasise and compliment your looks far more than Ranma ever has, and you are far too aggressive. My son’s preferred fighting style is to goad his opponent into making a mistake, and then strike like a viper. While you have all been chatting away, he’s been quietly observing all three of you in an effort to understand how best to handle this strange situation. That is far more like the boy I raised than either of you.”
“Aggressive?! I’ll show you who’s aggressive, you stupid panda!”
“… Hmph! Very well then. I suppose I can let this slide. ‘Ranma’ honestly doesn’t suit me all that well anyway.”
“That’s it!” Ranma yelled. “Settle down, the lot of you! We were gonna pick some names! So! I’m Ranma, the original. She’s Ranko-”
“The slamming hottie!”
“You two! Pick some names!” Ranma said, choosing to ignore Ranko for the time being.
“Alright,” the vain one said with a piercing gaze. “How about... Akihiko? Bright, shining prince. I think that suits me far better than wild horse.”
“Ah, you really are a complete jerk!” the aggressive one yelled, leaping to his feet and pacing around the room impatiently. “This whole name thing is stupid! But since you won’t shut up about it, just call me Isamu. ‘Courageous warrior’ suits me way better than the rest of you wimps!”
Alright. Good. Now the four of them had some names to differentiate between them all. Now they could get down to what really mattered, and -
Four stomachs made a sound like lions warning trespassers away from their territory. On second thought, maybe this was the best time for them to look into getting something to eat.
- The four start developing other odd quirks.
- A reason is contrived for them to visit a certain village.
- Meanwhile Ryoga Hibiki was wandering atop a nearby cliff.
- Something else
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