Asuka's fingers hovered over the keyboard, lost in the irresistable urge to type out something. Simply to check and make sure this old thing still worked, simply a case of idle curiousity. Nothing more than that, right? Still, the question remained. What should she type? Ah, but the answer became rather obvious after a moment's thought, and her fingers flew expertly across the keyboard as she typed about her favourite subject.
0000: Hello! My name is Asuka Langley Soryu! Aren't you lucky to be used by someone as talented, beautiful and intelligent as myself? I don't need any introduction, of course, but will give one anyway!
0001: I am the pilot for the greatest Evangelion unit, Unit 02! It is well matched with me, for I am the best pilot of them all! My tactical prowess is without peer, my reaction time nearly superhuman and my strength in combat is unmatchable! When I am in Unit 02, the place that Angels fear to tread is covered by a radius a hundred miles around where I am!
0002: There are two other pilots I am forced to work alongside. The first is Rei Ayanami, a girl with no will of her own! She's the sort that will follow any instruction given to her, no matter what it is.
0003: The other is Shinji Ikari. He seems to have something of a yellow streak, but he's not fooling me! In truth he's a massive covert pervert that hides behind innocence and fake shyness to get away with his perverted tendencies. Unfortunately I appear to be the only one that sees through it.
0004: I'm being forced to live with him at the moment, but not just him! There's also Misato Katsuragi, my former guardian. She's a bit of a drunken slob at home, and barely seems to be able to keep from flirting with every guy she meets. Other than that we get on alright.
The urge to type faded away and Asuka looked back over at what she'd typed out. Yep. It looked like it was working just fine! "Not bad for an antique," she mused, but then she blinked as the screen started to flicker. After a moment a message popped up.
"World Processor: Compiling New Data. Extracting Relevant Alterations" Asuka read out. "What the heck does that even mean?"
The message faded away, and was replaced with four lines.
0000: Asuka is beautiful, intelligent and talented. She needs no introduction.
0001: Unit 02 is the greatest Evangelion. Asuka is the best pilot. Her tactical prowess is without peer, her reaction time is nearly superhuman and her strength in combait is unmatchable. When she is in Unit 02, Angels dread approaching closer than a hundred miles.
0002: Asuka works alongside two pilots. Rei Ayanami has no will of her own and will obey any instruction given to her.
0003: Shinji Ikari pretends to be a shy coward, but is merely pretending to cover his true perverted nature. Only Asuka can see through this ruse.
0004: Asuka is being forced to live with Shinji and Misato Katsuragi. She is a drunken slob when home, and barely restrains herself from flirting with every guy she meets. Other than that, Asuka and Misato get on alright.
"Dummkopf computer!" Asuka yelled, stomping her foot indignantly. "That's not what I typed! Not at all! This antique is broken after all! Worthless thing!"
With a heavy sigh, Asuka switched it off and turned around to leave. She stopped upon reaching the door as a terrible thought occured to her, prompting her to turn back around and switch the processor back on again. To her horror, the same words were showing up on the screen. The same words that would surely raise all manner of hell if Misato decided to use this thing at any point in the near future, and - Oh dear. Suddenly this word processor had turned into a ticking time bomb! Nothing else for it! She'd have to hide it in her room until she figured out a way to make the text disappear!
- Retcon initiated! How does the series look when changed as per these instructions?
- Meanwhile, Shinji becomes a covert pervert!
- Asuka plays around with the word processor a little more.
- No time for that! Angel attack!
- Something else
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