Monday, 23 April 2018

Story: HS DxD Loot Crate



He should have known it was too good to last. Ah, that sense of dread he felt when he was calmly informed that the student council president wanted to have a word with him about the incident in the girl's locker room! The instruction had sent chills up his spine and not in the nice way, not in the least bit!

Still, Issei knew better than to challenge his fate. Trying to run at this point would only make things worse for him. They'd chase him down, they'd call his home, they'd tell his parents, they might even go so far as to force him to wear a tracking device so they'd know where he was at all times. Truly, the worst of all fates! Even death would be kinder!

On the other hand he could willingly go along and maybe get a lesser sentence in the process.

'Also, the student council president is one of the hottest girls in the school!' his dick piped up. Issei looked down at his junk and gave it the evil eye. That kind of thinking is exactly how he wound up in this mess in the first place! Oh, but he'd repent! Oh, but he'd change his ways! If only to get out of this mess, and also to ensure that the vanishing bras were located!

He knocked on the door with a heavy heart. "Come in, it is unlocked," a quiet bookish female voice came from within. Right. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad as he was expecting?

On opening the door he found the room had minimal lighting, and there she was sitting behind her desk. The beautiful glasses wearing council president Sona Sitri... Whose glasses were perfectly reflective rather than transparent. Also, she had her hands steepled in front of her and a deeply furrowed brow. Ah. Maybe he'd been wrong about running being the scarier option after all.

"Enter," she commanded, and he could but obey. "Close," she instructed, and Issei immediately shut the door behind him. "Issei Hyoudou. One of the three biggest... male perverts in the entire school."

"Yes!" Issei said, snapping to attention. "Also, I am suddenly very interested in the fact that you specified male, as it implies there's a female pervert even bigger than me!"

She kept her fingers steepled. "Yes, that seems like a perfectly usual thing to be concerned with," Sona said. "I believe you are in the same class as one of our primary concerns... She is quite high on our watch list."

Eh? Wait, she couldn't possibly mean - <i>That girl</i> could she?!

"N-Never mind!" he frantically waved his hands about. "What did you want to see me over?"

Sona's glasses seemed to gleam in the light... Whatever the source of light was that was reflecting off of them. That was really eerie, now that he thought about it.

"Hrm... You'd make a really good minion for an evil overlord facing off against a magical girl..." Sona mumbled to herself. Huh? He would? Well, no. Issei didn't really see himself as the sort to be a good minion... "Anyway! Please empty out your pockets. I would like to make sure you don't have anything unusual in there."

Right! Of course! Issei gulped and immediately turned out his pockets. It wasn't as if he had much in there anyway. A pen, some chewing gum, his cellphone. All of which was picked up by Sona and placed in a box labelled "Evidence of perversion". Immediately Issei felt the dread all teenagers feel when someone takes away the lifeline that is their cell phone.

Little did he realise that the label on the box would transform his pen, chewing gum and cellphone into the very thing upon its label.

“Do not worry, everything will be returned to you after school ends. At least so long as we find no reason to do otherwise.” Sona said.

Issei sighed wearily. Oh dear. This was a proper chewing out, wasn't it? His straightened posture slumped - and then he noticed that he was still wearing his Level Upper trinket around his neck. Huh? How strange. Sona was looking right at him. Hadn't she seen it?

"One of my council members reported a truly bizarre experience earlier on," Sona began. For now, Issei completely forgot about the Level Upper and felt his attention snap right back to the Shit He Was About To Be Dropped In. "An experience in the girl's shower, which occured while you were conducting your totally and completely normal gazing and leering at their naked bodies."

And all of a sudden, the Shit He Was About To Be Dropped In vanished. It was replaced with a great weighty confusion, the same that he had felt before. Eh? Eh?! But - But he thought he was in trouble!

"Tell me what you know about this?" she asked, pulling out a bottle of the shampoo they'd been using in the shower.

Issei's mouth gaped open. Then he closed it, opened it up again and tried to say a single word. Any word would do. "Flarglebargle?" he offered. A word! He'd demanded a word!

"You're not upset that I was peeping on them and soaping up their boobs?"

"I don't care that you were peeping. That is totally sensible. I am more concerned about the fact that you were soaping up their boobs with liquid orgasms."

That's it. The world had lost its marbles. He wanted off this wild ride.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, it's strange. For some reason everyone in that class thought it was perfectly ordinary for you to be soaping them up," Sona said. "However... Nobody else that I've asked thinks it's ordinary. Which makes me quite concerned as -"

Suddenly, Sona jumped on top of her desk and struck the kind of pose he'd not seen outside of a cheesy anime.

"As a brave and valiant warrior of justice, I Sona Sitri will absolutely punish you!"

He couldn't help himself but to peek up her skirt until she straightened herself out and meekly climbed down from the table.

"What I mean is, as student council president it is my duty to save the world from your kind of - I mean protect the order and morality of this school. Without becoming a magical girl that wears one of those... cute... frilly... outfits... So cute!"

Issei closed his eyes and took a deep, deep breath. Okay then. Alright. Fine by him. It was pretty clear to him by now that something really fucking weird was going on around here. Manipulating him. Manipulating the student body. Even the high and mighty, normally totally serious and cool student council president wasn't immune. They had taken away bras, they had made Sona apparently obsessed with becoming a magical girl. They had transformed a bottle of ordinary shampoo into liquid orgasms. They had made everyone think it was okay for him to peep on girls, but only made the girls in his direct surrounding think getting soaped up was ordinary.

So, you know what? Screw it. If he was the only one that had noticed, it was up to him to save everyone. Ah, but Issei knew something far too well. Solving a problem was never possible until the moment you understood what the problem was.

As such, it was his duty to experiment.

"Pardon me, Miss President," he politely said, stepping forward towards her. "Could you do me a favour and ask me to stop the moment I do something strange."

"Of course," she answered, a hint of curiosity visible on her face.

He started in the most straightforward way imaginable. With his hand reaching out to touch her chest. He kept it slow, so that she could see what he was doing, leaving her more than enough time to react before he could do anything. Honestly, Issei expected that she'd grab his wrist and judo flip him onto the floor. But no. She simply watched his approaching hand with curiosity and nothing more, and then his hand was on her breast. Over her uniform, but still touching a place he shouldn't be touching.

On this day Issei had touched more boob than he had done in his entire life until this point. Based on the experience he'd accumulated today, he gave the council president a ten out of ten.

"You don't find this strange?" he asked, letting his second hand join in the fun. He rubbed his hands around over her uniform, the lack of bra making it quite easy for him to get a good jiggle going. "There's nothing unusual about this at all?"

"No, of course not," Sona calmly replied. "No more strange than my desire to fight evil by moonlight, while keeping a secret identity."

Test one complete. Next test: He flipped her skirt. "How about that?" he asked. She shrugged, so he went right onto his next test. Lifting her off her seat, and forcing her to sit in his lap.

"So, you were saying that you thought it was strange that I was soaping up those girl's breasts," he said to Sona, concentrating intensely on the task at hand. Namely, his hands were reaching around to the front of her uniform so that he could untie it. "Could you please explain what is strange about that?"

Even the question didn't phase her. "Of course," she said. "It is very peculiar for a random boy to be permitted the opportunity to - hrrrrrnk - touch a girl's chest when they're not even in a relationship."

"Like I'm doing now?" Issei asked. It had been surprisingly easy for him to get that open.

“Of course not, this is perfectly ordinary.”

"Why?" he asked. "What's the difference?"

"For one thing, you're not soaping me up with liquid orgasm."

Aha. Right. Of course. Issei bit his lip and looked over at the bottle. Right, there was not really any other way to find out more about this problem. With these thoughts he grabbed the bottle out of the box of evidence and held it in front of Sona's face.

"I'm about to rub this onto your naked chest," he warned her. "Is that okay?"

"I see no reason you shouldn't."

He gulped. "But then I'd be soaping you up with liquid orgasm. Just like those other girls."

Sona shrugged. He slowly upended the bottle and watched the liquid within slowly trickle down towards the cap - Then stopped and put it back in the box. "You really didn't see the problem with that at all?"

"Not really," she answered. "It's the same thing as the difference between going out in underwear and going out in a swimsuit. One is generally seen as okay, even though they cover the same areas of the body. Therefore, it's strange that you were soaping up their breasts, but completely mundane that you were about to do the same to me."

This was even more serious than he thought! Internal paradoxes were being completely ignored here! Whatever was doing this was either smart or powerful enough to make everyone think this was okay so much that no amount of contradiction would do anything.

Even as he thought about that, his hands were already returning to the soft chest of the student council president. It was a real shame that if he were to fix this, he wouldn’t be able to grope these perky boobs anymore.

Then he heard a beep come from his Level Upper. For some reason it coincided with a gasp from Sona while he was groping her. Huh? Weird...

<i>Touching Girls

Exp gain 46

Level Up! New level 29, Exp 46/140 to Next Level Up

"I'm sorry Miss President, I don't know anything about that liquid orgasm," he honestly told her. "But I am also very concerned that something strange is happening in this school! If you will allow me, I would like to assist in that investigation!"

"Well, that's very good to hear," Sona said. "Though for some reason I also sort of expected to hear it." She grabbed hold of some weird looking toy that was lying in a drawer and pointed it at him. "Then here is Magical Girl Sona's first spell! Investigate the source of the liquid orgasm, and bring them to me so they may be punished!"

Unknown to either of them she had just activated the Wand of Aspirations. Its magic grabbed ahold of Issei's mind, seizing onto something that was already his goal and giving him a brand new zeal to see it through. He must first locate the cause, then bring them before Sona. As soon as possible.

“I will do everything in my power!” He loudly declared, a strange feeling of excitement that was normally limited to matters regarding boobs and other female body parts bubbling up in him. “No matter where they hide, I will get them and make sure they won’t escape you president.”

However, there was another problem that neither one of them yet realised was a problem.

"First thing's first, I must finish this test!" he yelled, grabbing hold of the shampoo and squeezing out a dollop over the council president's still bare chest. The only thing that had been holding him back had been his own uncertainty on whether it was right to do this. But now that he was aspiring to understand the situation in full, it was utterly necessary for him to begin by finishing what he had begun!

"Ooooh! Yeah, that's the stuff!" she immediately began to squirm under his ministrations. "Goodness me, they weren't kidding when they called this a liquid orgasm!"

Issei watched her reactions with care, testing out different ways of groping her chest. Different patterns. As many as he could think of while rubbing the fake magical soap into her, quickly leaving the coolheaded president into a panting, heaving mess who had to brace herself, first by grabbing onto her desk and then leaning back into him, reaching up to grab his head so that she didn't fall off her seat.

"Pardon me for coming back so soon, Miss President," another member of the council said, entering the room and bowing. To Issei's lack of surprise, the sight of Sona whimpering and moaning while having her naked chest soaped at her desk didn't even make her bat an eye. Interesting! "I can confirm that the Occult Research Club is also expressing interest in the earlier events at the girl's shower."

So it worked, at least on everyone who was present while the act was happening! Would anyone finding out about this later feel the same way, or would it be like with the soaping up of Koneko’s class? What was the reason for one thing seemingly affecting everyone and another getting everyone he met so far.

"Tell me," Issei asked the other council member. "What do you think of the events at the shower?"

"Disgusting example of male perversion," the girl cheerily answered. "We should never have let them into this school."

"And what I'm doing now to Sona?" he asked. "This is perfectly normal for me to do during a meeting. Right?"

"Absolutely," the girl answered. Nobody in the room took notice that one of Issei's ears flashed when he'd said that last thing, but now it really was considered totally normal for liquid orgasms to be rubbed onto a girl's boobs during any meeting involving Issei.

That was all the information he was going to get out of this. On that basis, he lifted Sona off his lap and set her on her feet. He was erect, but that didn't matter. Investigate. He felt it pounding in his ears. He must investigate! And if anyone was well suited to do that, it would have to be...

"The Occult Club," he said aloud. It was a bit of a long shot, but… the vice president had said they were also interested in this. And Koneko had said she wanted to take one of the bottles with her to the club. So maybe they were already on the case?

"If you're going to the occult club, then... Wait one moment."

Sona pulled a label off of her handy label maker, wrote something on it and then slapped it onto his chest. Looking down at it, he could see that it read "Official Perverted Investigator, by order of Student Council."

"Rias will recognise my handwriting," Sona said. "She'll take you more seriously if you show that to her. Ah... I meant to write 'perversion' rather than 'perverted', but it should still be fine."

"I won't let you down!" Issei saluted, then scarpered from the room. The label and the wand both working their dual magics on him even as he ran at full pelt.

"How rude," the vice president said. "He ran off without soaping up my boobs."

"Yes he - Kya!" Sona yelled, quickly pulling her uniform closed. "Wh-when did that happen?! This must be the work of the Great Tyrant of Shadows! My archnem- I mean, the work of the mysterious magical pervert!"

“Ehh.. yes of course president..” Answered Tsubaki, her otherwise professional demeanour faltering for a moment.

  1. Meanwhile, Rias has received a gift claiming to be from Riser... Which pair of items is it?
  2. The Occult Club hasn't received anything yet, and Issei gets to them without issue.
  3. Issei is interrupted mid-route by Raynare in disguise.
  4. Issei is pulled into another changing room to peek at the girls.
  5. Who the hell is sending these things anyway?
  6. Something else

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