Within the realm of physics, the upper speed limit of the universe is 'c', the speed of light within a vacuum. Nothing can pass it. Should matter approach it, the release of energy would cause catastrophic nuclear reactions. Why bring this up? Because while it's true that nothing with mass or energy can surpass the speed of light, gossip was made of neither.
Almost as soon as his future self had vanished with the two chuckleheads, two more chuckleheads appeared right next to Ranma as though they'd popped into existence.
"That was your cousin, huh?" one of them said, looking off in the direction his future self had gone. "Whew, man."
"Hey, hey now. Don't be a creep about his cousin," said the other. “I’m sure he’s very protective of a cute, innocent, sweet girl like that. No doubt boys are all over that impressive figure on such a small body.”
Yet another intangible thing could break the lightspeed barrier: Ranma's level of disgust. Drooling over his girl form was bad enough, but his future girl form? That was... Ew, he didn't even think there was a word for this feeling.
"I don't need to be protective. She’ll kick your ass if you look at her funny.”
"Worth it," both boys said in unison. Ooh, that was creepy! Although... not nearly as creepy as how girl his future self was acting. Man, that was weird! Seeing 'her' in a skirt like that, showing off her legs. He'd never do that. No sir, no how, no way. No matter what he wasn't acting half as girly as that!
<hr>
Must... not... feel jealous of a boy's femininity. Dammit, this wasn't working! Come on Akane, just think it through. That body is made of magic. That's why her legs were so fantastic, and her proportions were all flawless and - Guh!
Poing! All of a sudden Yuka and Sayuri were standing right next to Akane, staring off in the same general direction as her.
"So that was Ranma's cousin?" Yuka asked, letting out a low whistle. "Girl, you got some competition going on."
“What?” Akane asked, turning to her two friends. “What do you mean by that!?”
“Well…” Yuka said, “She suddenly appeared to protect her cousin and all…”
“And she’s definitely a ten.” Sayuri added. “Just saying. Even I checked her out.”
Oh! They thought that she'd have to fend off Ranma's ridiculously hot cousin in order to keep her man! A vision flashed through her mind of her own future self and girl form Ranma, without their clothes, covered in a thin layer of sweat, doing... things... to each other in the dark of the night.
"I'll have you know, I don't have anything to worry about!" Akane sniffed. "E-Even if I was really interested in this engagement, those two would never be interested in each other that way."
"That's not what the rumours are saying..." Sayuri mumbled. Yuka nudged her with her elbow. "What? She's going to hear them anyway."
Rumours? Already? She could feel her eye twitching in anticipation of the stupid, stupid rumours she was about to hear. Probably perpetuated at least slightly by her own sister for her personal amusement.
"What I've heard, is that she and Ranma are so close that they often wear the same kind of clothes when out and about," Sayuri whispered. "She's the older one, and he's deliberately copying her hairstyle, the way she talks, the way she behaves because he looks up to her so much."
"I've even heard that he begged her for training because she's the stronger martial artist!"
Ugh, none of that was technically false either! But if you put it like that then it all becomes really murky if you didn't know one simple fact! Well, at the very least those kinds of rumours were about as bad as it was going to -
"Hang on," Akane said. "People have only seen her for ten minutes! How did rumours spread this fast?!"
Both her friends shrugged. It was a mystery. Much like it was a mystery where present Ranma was stomping off to all of a sudden.
<hr>
Ah, that worked out nicely. Those two idiots may not be able to find their butts with a map and a mirror, but at the very least they had the common sense to keep Ryoga the fuck away from water until a longer term solution could be found. Maybe he could convince Shampoo later on to make her forget about P-Chan? Nah, too risky. Getting Shampoo involved never ended well.
In any event! Time to head off home. Now, since she didn't want Akane catching wind of what she was up to, Ranma had snuck in earlier on and changed in the girl's locker room, leaving a handy dandy pack full of clothes stashed away in a hidden corner, so she could change in peace with a minimum of fuss. Heh. Throw in her improved stealth skills, and it was the perfect crime!
Or at least it would be if her past self hadn't thrown open the doors with a look of thunder on his face.
"Hey, what the hell was that?!" he yelled, rushing into the room right as she was taking off her blouse. "You- acting and dressing like a girl -"
"When in Rome," Ranma shrugged. Her past self blushed furiously and looked right up at the ceiling. "Oh, what's this now? You're nervous because of a little boobage?" She leaned over a little. Never could resist the chance to tease someone, even if it was technically herself. "Gonna have to get used to it champ, there's a lot of this in your future. Oh boy, is there a lot!"
"C-Cut that out!"
"Nah, you're the one who barged in here remember? Sensei is going to give you an important lesson: Barge into girl's dressing room, get spanking from topless maiden."
"Y-You!" Ranma nervously yelled. "Quit acting like this! It's gross! It's - It's seriously uncute!"
Future Ranma stopped her teasing, for a moment, upon hearing this. Then she burst out laughing. “Me? Uncute! Hah! That's rich, oh man. Hearing you say that about me is the best!”
Aha, maybe she'd pushed him a little too far? Because now he was grabbing hold of her shoulders and making her look him right in the eyes. "The hell happened to you, making you act like this?!” His voice dropped to a whisper, “You'll never catch <i>me</i> dressing up like a chick and acting all girly!"
“Kid, it’s called Anything Goes for a reason.” Future Ranma said with a smirk, “And I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I-”
“Oh my god the rumors were true!”
Present Ranma and Future Ranma both turned their heads. A group of girls were at the entrance to the locker room. At the head of this group was, because <b>of course,</b> was Akane. Her jaw hung low, her two friends blushing. Though Sayuri looked ready to take notes.
Present Ranma let go of his future counterpart, and said the line that is never believed. “This is <b>not</b> what it looks like.”
"Are you sure?" Sayuri gulped. "Because those look amazing, by god." Yuka nudged her with her elbow. "Tell me that I'm wrong!"
"Missing... the... point!" Yuka seethed. Then under her breath muttered "<font size =1> God, they really are perfect, that's not even fair..</font>"
- Kuno and Ryoga try to figure out a way to deal with Ranma, then encounter the rumour mill.
- Future Akane shows up to the school, making things even more complicated.
- Present Akane is trying to process this. Does Ranma actually lust for his girl side? And why can’t she stop imagining joining in!?
- Something else
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