Is there anything more worthwhile in life than making a new ally? So far as Tatewaki Kuno was concerned the answer was yes! Smashing your enemies with righteous fury was a far greater endeavour! Of course, the fact that this new ally despised the same enemy as himself, well that was all the sweeter was it not?
"Tell me of your hatred for Ranma Saotome!" Kuno demanded. "How has he wronged you? Tell me, so that I can share in your fury, and then you can share in mine!"
"That coward," Hibiki began, with a low growl. "It's so terrible that I cannot even bring myself to put it to words."
"Find the courage!" Kuno put his hands encouragingly on Ryoga's shoulders. He willed this younger man to action, stared him down and shared the smallest taste of his righteous spirit. "Put it into words! That way, you will be all the more able to destroy his soul as well as his body!"
"First... First Saotome would steal my food!" Hibiki yelled. The fiend! Yet that was only the 'first' thing that Saotome had done? "Every day I went hungry! So I challenged him to a fight!" His fist lashed out and struck a nearby wall. "The coward ran away! I pursued him all across China so we could finish our fight and then... And then!"
Tatewaki Kuno could only nod in understanding. Something awful must have happened to him in China, while in pursuit of a coward who dares to call himself a martial artist. Who dares call himself a man. Who dares make Akane Tendo stare at him with that red pallor! Thief. Coward. Womaniser. By the time that the two of them were done with him, all three words would become synonyms for 'Saotome'.
"Have no fear, Ryoga Hibiki!" Kuno declared. "With me by your side, we shall be able to -"
"Raaaanmaaa!" Ryoga suddenly yelled, dashing off full pelt down the street. "I will show you a mere taste of the hell I have endured!"
"The Tendo Dojo is the other direction!" Kuno yelled. "Ah! That spirit! He is so overcome with frustration that he had to run in a random direction to expel it! I am sure he will return shortly, once he has calmed down."
Six hours later.
"... Perhaps he isn't coming back?" Kuno yawned. It was getting pretty dark out.
That’s when Kuno was knocked to the ground by a charging bull, which had been tossed rather carelessly in his direction by a certain figure a little behind him.
“Show yourself!” Ryoga shouted, “Ranma Saotome!”
“Ah.. hello again Hibiki.” Kuno said, his voice muffled by the dirt, the bull mooed and walked away, wondering how long it would take to get back to its farm.
“Oh.” Ryoga said, “Err… am I at the Tendo Dojo yet?”
“Nay. This is still Furinkan High.”
"Oh," Ryoga repeated. "Well, in that case... I'll set up camp here for the night and wait for him to get here."
Camp out here? Indeed, Hibiki did begin to take out some camping gear from his rather hefty rucksack. Was it his intention to wait here for Saotome's arrival? But why would he go to such lengthy measures?
Ah! Of course! It explained a great deal, in fact. That rucksack, the weighted umbrella... It was all a form of training! It was a kind that the Kuno family never employed itself, but Tatewaki could easily understand why it might be so effective for other, poorer individuals. By roughing it, staying outside and camping under the stars he was training his body to withstand the harshest of conditions while also ensuring his body received the maximum amount of fresh air!
Even so, this seemed rather unnecessary. "Come with me," Tatewaki instructed. "I shall take you to the Tendo residence forthwith. Then we shall see about dealing with Ranma Saotome!"
And so, the intrepid duo marched onwards in their date with destiny. Two men wronged by one scoundrel, who even now lurks at the residence of an innocent family who must be blissfully unaware of his misdeeds... Or else under the impression they can reform him. Such honesty, such integrity! That naivete was almost charming in a way. He could hardly wait to have such a respectable family as his in-laws. Then he remembered that Nabiki was part of this family as well. Mostly respectable. There always had to be the black sheep.
"Oh, by the way? I was wondering," Hibiki politely intruded on his thoughts and musings. "You didn't tell me what it was that Ranma did to upset you."
The wind howled, a stray leaf blowing past them. “Tell me, Hibiki, have you ever been in love?”
“Err… no.” Ryoga admitted, he had gone to an all boys school so not a lot of time for interacting with women beyond asking for directions.
“Her name is Akane Tendo. She is a true beauty. A goddess of war. Strong, compassionate, beautiful.” He clenched his fists, manly tears streaming down his face, “But… that fiend… Saotome… Akane Tendo is being forced to marry him!”
“F-forced!?” Ryoga stammered. “You mean… a... shotgun wedding!?” Images filtered through Ryoga’s mind. An innocent girl having her clothing torn off by the snarling and laughing Saotome. Her parents having to sign the marriage certificate to restore her stolen honor! “My god… he’s even worse than I thought!”
"He is a true demon!" Kuno yelled. He shook his fist at the sky. "Irredeemable! Barbaric! The fiend must pay for his crimes against sweetness and innocence! For despoiling the purity and chastity of my fair Akane!"
"Oh, buddy. When that chick gets in the mood she gets really freaky."
The voice was like an arrow in his heart. An arrow made of fire and ice both at once! Er, wait that would melt the ice, turning it into water which might put out the fire... Ah, ice and lightning, both in the same arrow! Kuno drew his sword and aimed it at the figure squatting on the fence up above him. "You!" he hissed.
"Me!" the figure hissed back. "Hi, Kuno! Hi Ryoga! Fancy seeing you two out here! Didn't know you two were pals." He waved his hand with a grocery bag with some cute looking snacks contained within at them.
"Ranma Saotome! How dare you joke about forcing yourself on an innocent woman!" Ryoga Hibiki yelled, stealing the words right out of Kuno's voice.
"Justice and vengeance shall be ours!" Kuno yelled, leaping up. The two of them, side by side. Kuno with his blade, Hibiki with his bokken. Ranma Saotome would get what was coming to him right here, right now!
Or, and hear me out. Or he could leap over their attacks and dropkick both of them in the back of the head. Then vanish completely before appearing directly in front of Ryoga, punch him exactly one time and, in the process send him flying backwards so quickly that Kuno himself was sucked in after him by the air pressure difference.
"Man, you guys are no fun!" Ranma protested. "Oh yeah... You weren't <i>that</i> tough until the old ghoul trained you, and you weren't that fast until you went to that dumb training island."
Kuno had a very witty comeback for that one. Trust him, he did. It was simply that he didn't quite feel like standing up to give it the proper delivery it required. Certainly not because he was so thoroughly beaten up already that he didn't have the breath to do it, no sir!
Saotome shrugged nonchalantly. It was quite an annoying sight. "Oh well! It was fun catching up. Gotta go, Akane had this fun idea with animal crackers that I'm dying to try out." Kuno and Ryoga groaned and tried to struggle to their feet. "Oy, oy! Can't take a joke? She just wants to eat them, that's all. You two idiots are so easy to provoke. Catch you next time."
He flickered, and was gone. After about ten minutes of catching his breath Kuno was finally able to remind his legs of the important task called 'sitting up'. So he did and he scowled a dark and menacing scowl.
"This is even worse than I had imagined," he announced, and the very heavens seemed to agree with him. It began to rain. Not especially heavily, but certainly to an irksome degree. "Ryoga Hibiki, we must reconvene to develop a brand new strategy!" he waited a moment. His new ally did not answer. "Hibiki?" he asked. Again, no answer. "Hibiki?" he asked, this time standing to look around. "Strange. His clothing and his equipment appear to be here. Where has..."
The clothing then moved, and a small black pig poked its snout out. Kuno boggled at it for a moment.
"No," he gasped, stepping back. "No, 'tis not possible! Is that you, Ryoga Hibiki?" The pig poked its head out and then nodded it's tiny little head. "It cannot be! This black and twisted magic... There can be only one conclusion!"
"That punch transformed you into a pig!" Lighting struck dramatically behind him, Kuno pointing directly at Ryoga.
Ryoga blinked. <i>What is he talking about?</i>
<hr>
The Akane of the present day spontaneously shuddered while lying on the bed in her room. Weird. For a moment there she thought she sensed a massive, colossal amount of raw, pure, undiluted stupidity. But that was probably just her imagination.
More to the point though... Akane was getting quite concerned. She'd peeked her head inside Kasumi's room earlier on and discovered a rather tall pile of books on parenting, on babies, on prenatal care. And a lot of baby toys. And a pram. And bottles. And baby shoes. And baby clothes. She'd actually had to back out of the room, then look inside yet again to make sure she'd seen that right.
Which made the point rather clear in her mind. She was going to be an auntie soon. The thought made her reflexively kick the bed in anticipation. Oh! She would be a great aunt! She would, she simply knew that she would!
Yet... The question did remain: Who was the father? Akane didn't know how to bring it up without embarrassing her. Or potentially getting Doctor Tofu into trouble for breaching patient confidentiality. Also, it was possible her dad would kill the father. Akane didn’t know if Kasumi wanted that, she hadn’t <b>complained</b> about it so the man probably did not deserve to die.
If only she had a way that she could find out. She'd been wracking her brain all day, but it wasn't easy. How on earth was she supposed to find out something like this, it wasn't like she had a crystal ball that could read the -
And then Akane facepalmed. "Right. So that source of stupidity I felt just now was me. I should ask my future self who the father is, she'll probably know already."
A bit weird she didn't bring it up, but whatever! Maybe she didn't want to mention it, and Akane finding out now wasn't something that had happened to her. Well, never mind that! Akane quickly stepped out of her room, looking around to make sure she wasn't seen. The last thing she needed was anyone else asking what she was up to! Akane crept along through the hallway, towards the guest room where her other self was sleeping. Then, just in case she was already talking with someone else - heaven forbid Kasumi - Akane creaked the door open a crack.
"Mmm... Good thing it rained just before you got home. Otherwise someone might have wondered what I was doing with a glass of water..." the future her said. Eh? Akane squinted in the darkness. There were shapes in there, but she was having trouble making them out.
"Heh. Remember back when you used to call me a pervert?" Ranma's girl form asked. No, that was future Ranma's girl form. Aha! Akane's eyes adjusted to the darkness! She could make out the shapes in the darkness and -
And her jaw dropped at the sight before her. Girl form Ranma, without a stitch of clothing on her. Lying back on the floor and crunching up animal crackers to pour over her own body. While her future self was equally naked and holding her hands behind her back, leaning in to lick the sweet treats off an even sweeter body.
"Well, it didn't exactly hurt that the guy I liked had two really cute forms," future Akane said in between licking around Ranma's upper right thigh. Akane's mouth felt really, really dry all of a sudden. No way. No way! It was one thing the two of them fooling around when he was a boy, but when he was a girl?! "A studly boy and a curvy girl. All rolled into one sexy package."
"Mmm... You really had to wear me down to get me to try this out the first time, too!" girl form Ranma sighed. Her hips rose into the air, and oh goodness me was that her tongue hanging out?
“Feels nostalgic now, huh?” Akane giggled, her voice <i>slightly muffled</i> from being between Ranma’s legs. Envy. Endless sea of envy. That was what this feeling was. And, ah, a strange dampness between her thighs. "Since you're being a good girl, I'll let you pick the roleplaying scenario for later."
Gulp! R-Roleplaying?!
"Could you play at being Miss Hinako, while I'm the naughty student being kept after school?" Ranma asked. "Go ahead. Drain my energy, then use it against me."
Miss Hinako? Draining? What, was Akane going to pretend to be some kind of vampire student?
“Oh we haven’t done that one in a while.” Future Akane said, “So you don’t want to try and fight back and “cure” me this time?”
“Nah. Let's spice things up a bit. I'm feeling experimental.””
“Hmm… we’ll have to rebuild our costume supply, you did pick up some basic outfits though right?” Akane said.
“Yeah they’re in that false back in the closet.” Ranma added. (Wait, the closet had a false back? When had that been there? Past Akane wondered) "You know, the place the old freak kept his really racy magazines, the ones even he didn't want anyone else to know he had?"
"Oh yeah. The Haigure stuff," Future Akane shuddered. "What even is that?" Good question! Although somehow Akane didn't want to know the answer! There was a brief pause as she resumed licking and teasing Ranma's waistline with her mouth. "Um... Do you want to maybe try that out after we roleplay?"
"If you keep using your tongue the way you have been, you could probably talk me into hugging that stupid ghost cat."
That was enough! Akane could not take any more of this! She backed away from the room as quickly and quietly as she could, holed herself up in her room and pulled her covers over her head and tried, oh how she tried not to think about what she'd heard. Puh-Pervert! That future version of herself was a complete and total pervert! Well, that wasn't going to happen to her. No ma'am! She wasn't going to succumb to mindless lust, no matter how delicious those soft curves had looked!
"I am in so much trouble," Akane gulped. She squirmed a bit in her bed, then taking a chance she reached down and... Drenched through. Completely soaked. "So much trouble."
- Akane tries to take her mind off this by trying to take on more housework, to also ease the burden on Kasumi. Cue misunderstandings!
- Kuno keeps trying to return Ryoga to human. Does everything <b>but</b> pour hot water on him.
- Kuno arrives at the Tendo dojo the next morning, accuses Ranma of turning Ryoga into the pig. Cue reaction from future Akane.
- First, more martial arts lessons for the past couple.
- Something else
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