Story: FBI 1/2

 

While this was an absolutely fucking hot sight, the two boys did have their own little goals and aspirations to live towards. Thus, with deep regret, they pulled out their badges and coughed.

"Breast Inspectors," Hiroshi announced. Both Ranma and Akane turned to look at him with surprise on their faces. "Listen girls, we know - This might seem a little soon, but -"

"But since Ranma here is new to the area, we need to make sure everything is done by the book," Daisuke interrupted. "Which means issuing Ranma an inspection ticket."

"Heh, sure thing! Go ahead!" Ranma said, sticking out her bust for them to look over. "I think you'll find that everything here is in order!"

It sure as shit was. Holy crap, Ranma was an absolutely adorable shortstack. On the one hand, they didn't wanna mess with perfection. On the other...?

The ticket was nice and straightforward. Boost 'em up a size, and make them as proportionally sensitive to male touch. After a moment's thought, Ranma and Akane were given full on permission to touch each other's breasts any time they wanted, even in public, and nobody would bat them an eye (except the inspectors themselves, obviously, who would notice if they did so in their vicinity).

"I think we've done our duty here today," Daisuke said, while Ranma and Akane pounced on each other, happy to grope each other's boobs. "Come on Hiroshi, let's get out of here and let these two have fun."

"Yeah," Hiroshi sighed. "We'll get to play with 'em all we want tomorrow."

Neither of them could imagine any problems coming from this. None whatsoever!

=====

"Hi, I'm Ranma Saotome," said the boy standing at the front of the class. The boy. The <b>boy</b> standing there. Both Hiroshi and Daisuke fell off their seats here. I mean, how could they not? It was the same pigtail, the same name, even the same freaking red shirt with the same yellow clasps and the same kinda baggy black trousers held up by rope around the waist. "Uh, so, I'm a travelling martial artist, just got back from China. I'm staying at the Tendo place, cuz my old man is friends with that guy, and they agreed that I would marry one of his daughters a while back? I picked Akane cuz she's really, really cute."

"Love you~" Akane called out across the classroom, while the rest of the class went absolutely silent.

Okay. Okay, alright, that was... That was not what they expected here. First up: How the hell did he wind up getting into the school so fast? There's paperwork that needs to be filled in. That takes time to process! You can't just have a new student show up one day without the faculty knowing about it well in advance!

Alas, any chance that the two of them might have had to ask either of them any questions were killed stone dead when, out of nowhere, the rest of the class mobbed the happy couple, attacking them from all sides with all manner of questions.

"So it's an arranged marriage, but you like each other anyway?"

"Yeah basically," Akane said while Ranma grabbed her breasts, and nobody else paid it any mind at all. If anything, she was biting her lip and leaning back into it. "We hit it off pretty much right away."

"I mean, an arranged marriage? In this day and age? Seriously?"

"Apparently they decided this about twenty years ago, so...?" Ranma shrugged. "I dunno, maybe it was more common back then still?"

"When is the wedding?"

"Dunno, we've not talked about that yet," Akane replied, really not seeming to mind at all that her breasts were being grabbed from behind by that guy. "It's funny really. Ranma was saying that he wasn't looking for a relationship, but -"

"But, you know, we just... hit it off so well, and it felt completely natural," Ranma said.

Right. Okay. Okay! That was enough! Hiroshi reached into his bag and pulled out his badge.

"This is the Federal Breast Inspectors!" he announced. "We need to speak with these two quite urgently!"

Crud, crud, crud, crud! What the fuck was going on here?! The crowd parted, allowing the two boys to lure the happy couple out of the room. This was not how things were supposed to go here! This was not -

"I have heard of this marriage!" yelled Tatewaki Kuno. "I do not approve of -"

"Federal Breast Inspector business," Daisuke flashed his badge. "Please kindly fuck off! Um... You can only think about breasts for the next hour? Yeah, that should do it."

"What sorcery is - " Kuno began, but then a goofy smile fell upon his face as breasts very obviously filled his brain. "Hehehe... Boobs... Boobies!"

Right, now that was dealt with, it was time for a big old glass of what the fuck is going on, with special guest Ranma Saotome, now male, formerly female.

"Pardon us for enquiring, but our records clearly need updating," Hiroshi said. "It is my comprehension that Ranma Saotome was a busty little shortstack with a cute face, nice ass and just the most succulent - "

"What my colleague means," Daisuke interrupted. "Is that there is an incongruence that we feel the need to correct. Are you able to account for this, Mister Saotome?"

"Oh, I've got this one sweetie," Akane sighed. Actually sighed. Leaning right back into him. "My Ranma has the most fun curse! He can turn into a girl when splashed with cold water!"

"Yeah, I used to hate it," Ranma said. "Until Akane and I did a thing last night that we're absolutely doing again when we get home today."

"And then again with your boy form right after?"

"Yeah, if you're a good girl~"

Both boys twitched nervously, as the not-gays overtook them. What's the not-gays? Ever meet someone that doesn't like gay people, but then catch them one day checking out someone that could pass for the opposite sex, but only if you looked at them in just the right way? And then, right after they realise their mistake, they feel a compelling need to assert how straight they are. That is one example of the not-gays. It doesn't have to be someone that doesn't like gay people necessarily, but those are the ones that feel it the most often.

The qualifying factor is normally tied into how closely the person's identity depends on heterossexuality. Thus, for a budding young pair of perverts, it's only natural that they would feel this way after learning of Ranma's curse.

Oh, and it really didn't help when Ranma oh-so-helpfully demonstrated that curse for them. Hooray?

"Here is your ticket," Hiroshi sighed. "You both have permission to just... just have sex anytime anywhen, nobody will care, nobody will even look twice at you."

About ten seconds passed between the ticket being handed to them, and Akane being up against the wall getting absolutely ruined for other men. There really wasn't much else for the two of them to do but walk away.

"Hiroshi, we've created a pair of monsters," Daisuke said. "Or perhaps more precisely, a two headed monster. I don't see those two getting out of each other's sight for love nor money."

"Maybe," Hiroshi replied. "But we can still bang Nabiki and Kasumi, right? I mean, it would be kinda weird with Ranma, but -"

But... suddenly, the wall in front of them began to buckle. And crack. And heave, and burst open, revealing a very scary, very pretty, very intimidating and very sexy girl.

"Someone say Ranma?" the purple haired minx asked. "You! Show Shampoo where Ranma is, right now!"

The two boys smiled to themselves. Oh. Oh, this was gonna be fantastic!