Story: DxD Loot Crate

 

As much as Aika felt tempted to sit on ass and wait for her enemy to come to her, she knew all too well that was not a smart move. They were up against Devils, right? With their own weird magical items which were, without a doubt, also gross and lewd. Luckily, she had two experienced Devil hunters on her side. Unfortunately, one of them was undergoing an identity crisis and seemed to think they were Issei Hyoudou. While the other was obsessed with that first one's navel.

And I do mean absolutely obsessed. Kept stealing glances at it. Her hands kept on making motions like she wanted to touch it. 

"Do you girls happen to know any other exorcists that could exorcise you?" Aika quipped.

"Um, actually..." Irina began. "No, it would take too long to get to her, she's not in the country right now. By the time we did - who knows what those Devils might get up to!"

Behind her back, a pair of Devils wings flapped, while she tapped at her chin with a hand covered in a weird red spiky gauntlet. Right. Okay then. Definitely not a good sign here.

Although... Hm? A thought did occur to her out of the blue.

"Say..." she said aloud. "You're developing the same sorts of powers that Issei has, right?"

"Um? I think so?" Irina replied. "Why do you ask?"

"What do you suppose would happen..." Aika asked. "If you were to use that thing to make me think I was Rias Gremory? And maybe make these two think they're some of her minions?"

The two exorcists nearly jumped out of their skin at the idea. It probably went against every instinct they had. Nonetheless... As a tactical option, it was a pretty potent one. Shouldn't they use every advantage they had? They were outnumbered, the enemy had access to their own items, this was a completely logical step forward.

"What if it makes you want to join them?" Xenovia asked. While on her knees, rubbing her cheek against Irina's belly.

"Do you want to join them?" Aika asked Irina.

"No, I actually just wanna make out with Xenovia and make fun of your small chest, while getting annoyed that your butt is perfection incarnate."

That both managed to annoy her and make her feel really smug about the whole thing. She adjusted her glasses and wiggled her booty around, loving the feeling of it shaking around in her snug, snug shorts.

Ah, but this was no time for such things. They had a plan now. And looking back at Issei's brainwashed friends, she had some pretty solid ideas of what else they could do to bring hell to those Devils.

And then she would sit on Issei's face. Or his lap. Maybe even pull Irina in to join them. And Xenovia too. Have a fun little orgy while they purified him of their Devil traits...

=====

So here they were, on watch around the school's grounds, making sure their enemy didn't try something really stupid. It would be a pretty crazy move, all truth told. If a pair of exorcists just... up and attacked some Devils, that would absolutely kick things off. It would be an absolutely insane thing to do.

On the other hand, things were already pretty crazy weren't they? Any time Issei and Koneko got into a shower, every girl in her class showed right up with them. For no apparent rhyme or reason. Worse yet, an extremely addictive and potent aphrodisiac shampoo was doing the rounds. They had found most of the bottles at this point - they hoped. But there would be a few still slipping through the cracks.

Then there was Sona's weird behaviour, Riser getting his own brand of bullshit, that kinda nice Asia girl. You couldn't take anything at all for granted here. Absolutely - 

"Someone's approaching the academy by air," Ruruko whispered into the microphone on her headset. "Identifying... Huh?"

Her magic was telling her it was Rias Gremory. That wasn't right. That was impossible. Rias was in the school still! 

"Ignore magic detection," she said. "I'm going old school."

She pulled out the binoculars. And what did she see? When she peered through those binoculars, did she see Rias Gremory? Did she see some exorcists fast approaching them, swords drawn, ready to nick a Devil and leave them weak as a newborn kitten?

No. What she saw was Aika Kiryu twerking. Devil wings protruding from her back. Hands on her knees, bent over with her back turned to the school grounds, clapping her cheeks like she was giving a thunderous applause.

"Uh oh," Ruruko whispered while licking her lips. "I think this is awakening something in me~"

Aika then licked her palm, for rather longer than she strictly had to, then brought that hand back like a whip, smacking her own ass so loud, Ruruko could hear it from there.

"Awakening... More like awakened~" Ruruko mewled. Which is when a very disappointed Tsubaki took the binoculars right out of her grip and stared her down. "Aw, but it was such a nice ass!"

Tsubaki flicked Ruruko on the forehead. "Don't be foolish," she warned. "We cannot risk dropping our guard at a moment like this. If she wants your eyes on the sky, then there must be - Yes, there they are!"

Running towards the school were a pair of perverts. The other two of the perverted trio! A normal pair of humans, as far as Tsubaki knew... But at the moment, she also knew to take nothing at face value.

She jumped down, ready to greet them, but to her surprise one of them yelled 'Knight'! At the top of his lungs. Anticipating an attack, she lifted her guard -

Only to find a strange item thrust into her face. A clock...? The boy wielding it then said, quite clearly - 

"Aika's hot ass!"

Which was just enough that it threw her off her game a little, but only for a moment before - Before she looked up to the sky where Aika Kiryu was, indeed, still twerking up a storm. Why? Why had they said that? What possible reason did they have? Were they... some kind of trap?

Possibly. It was entirely possible that the two boys were actually the distraction, and that Aika was the real threat after all. In which case, the smart thing to do would be to simply let them go. Indeed, if anything she really ought to study that butt, that hot ass in much closer detail...

=====

Irina tugged at her clothes. Gosh! Her battle suit was riding up on her something fierce! While her big butt wasn't half as big as Aika's, it sure was larger than normal. And the urge to bounce that butt off the ground was really quite strong! It probably looked really hot too, she ought to try it sometime, hehehe~

No, no, no, that was her inner Issei talking, cut that out. She was here for one reason and one reason alone. Save Issei from the Devils! It did mean technically breaking a few truces here and there, but the circumstances were unusual enough that it might be warranted.

Best course of action: No killing. It wouldn't be too hard. A single nick from their blades would put a Devil down in an instant. At least, on paper. The problem was, they only had a partial idea of what exactly the Devils had access to.

That made planning pretty much impossible... But that's why it was also important for them to go on the attack here. This would help give them the advantage, by moving first! It would throw them off, and if they lost here...? 

The part of her that was Issei Hyoudou refused to consider the notion. They would win. Of course they would win! Because they were pouring their very heart and soul into it!

...Can we take a moment here to really highlight how far gone Irina is right now down the Issei rabbit hole? Just based on the scene up to this point. Compare what she'd thought to what her normal thought process would be like. Let's see. Normally, given her personality, in this situation she'd have thought something more like...

...‘All right, Irina. Stay calm. Consult with the Church. Confirm the devils’ movements, request backup from headquarters, pray for guidance, and, if necessary, negotiate a ceasefire to ensure Issei’s safety. If confrontation is unavoidable, aim to incapacitate only, prioritize non-lethal methods, and above all  - do not act recklessly or alone. Trust in Heaven’s plan. Amen.’

You may or may not have noticed this was not what she was thinking or doing at all. Instead, here she was, crouched on a rooftop at midnight, blades humming with holy power, ready to break half a dozen sacred accords because some loud, shameless, dragon-obsessed voice in the back of her mind wouldn’t shut up about ‘saving the poor guy from all those suspiciously well-endowed devils.’

She didn’t even want to think about the part of her that wondered if it would be so bad to get dragged into that household herself...

Lord have mercy. She needed an exorcist. And she was an exorcist! Well, so was Xenovia, but - 

Irina,” a voice hissed beside her. Xenovia, crouched way too close for comfort. Her eyes glowed with that unsettling single-mindedness they’d taken on lately.

“Not now, Xenovia,” Irina whispered, eyes still on the ORC building. Alright, when the boys arrived they would make their move. “Focus on the mission.”

“I am focused. I just need to check your belly first.”

Irina’s soul nearly vacated her body. “What?!”

“It’s critical. It’s my... motivation. Please lift your shirt a little. I promise to be quick.”

Lord, give her strength. And preferably a muzzle for her best friend. This operation was going to be a disaster.