Heading out on a mission to the human world after finding herself inexplicably human sounded like a fever dream. Fever nightmare? Whatever! Tangrulath was pretty sure she didn't have access to her full array of magical spells and general Demonic bullshit, which was going to severely hamper her ability to do fucking anything at all. Except whimper pathetically, railing uselessly against the dying of the light, as humans are wont.
What this meant was an unfortunate visit to an ally. Not a friend. You don't make friends in hell. While wearing a heavy hooded cloak over her head, Tangrulath slunk along to the workshop of one of her main allies. Deep breath now. Deep breath, and -
She stepped inside, and found a pristine white room with workbenches covered in all manner of strange looking potions, sitting in clear vials. There were heaters, there was a device that spun bottles really fast, there was another that shot electricity through a bottle, a freezer, a chamber in the corner that sucked up fumes. There was a sink, there was a large bin, a furnace, and for some reason a skeleton hanging in the corner. It turned its head towards Tangrulath, and waved at her.
"Hello Billy," she said to be polite, but then turned her attention towards the room's true owner. Zipping around the room, a tall and buxom blue skinned female demon wearing a lab coat that wasn't fully closed, a stethoscope, a pair of rubber gloves, and not a stitch else. She hadn't seemed to notice Tangrulath's arrival, as she was far too excited doing... something or other with some sort of flower.
She cut up a piece, dropped it into a clear vial that quickly turned pink. Seeming satisfied with this, she grabbed a stirrer and mixed it up, before pouring it into another larger glass container being held over an open flame. She tapped her feet exactly five times in a steady rhythm, then used tongs to grab that container and poured it over a rat sitting in a cage nearby. The pink gloop covered the poor creature, and then -
It spontaneously turned into a tiny human. Huh.
"Success!" proclaimed Duromaz, the Demon of Curiosity. "Let's see those humans replicate this with their mere science! If you're gonna science, you gotta do it right! Go mad with it! Mad, I say! Madness is the key to satisfying your - Oh, hey there Tangrulath - Boundless curiosity about the universe! Mwahahahahaha..."
Duromaz then screwed up her face, stomped across the room, and scored out "mwahahahaha" from a whiteboard which was covered with a variety of evil laughs.
"You'll work out your evil laugh one of these days," Tangrulath said. She then peered at the rat sized human creature scurrying around in its cage. "What exactly is this supposed to do...?"
"Oh, just experimenting with something the Elves claimed," Duromaz said dismissively. "I'm working out the active ingredient in their Changeling potion. I've just about narrowed it down, and then? We can turn damn near anything we want into a convincing human. Speaking of! Love the disguise. Going up top for a mission?"
That was the excuse that she was going to use, yes. "I am trying to minimize the use of magic to help avoid certain prying eyes," Tangrulath said. "Can you spare anything that might assist in this mission?"
"Minimize the use of magic," Duromaz chuckled. "You know, with the way the humans are going up top, they might take care of that themselves one day. Their vaunted scientific method! Filling in the gaps of knowledge with a methodical process, laying down the groundwork for how the world <i>works</i>. Making magic less and less functional with each 'discovery' they make! Why, if we're not careful then they'll eliminate Demons using this method and not even mean to!"
She sounded almost excited by the possibility. That's the thing that makes this Demon dangerous. She didn't give a damn about personal safety, never mind that of others. It went against Demonic instinct, all she wanted was to satisfy her curiosity. If it took her fancy to figure out what it felt like to toss oneself into a giant blender, she'd dive in headfirst. Likely having her notes scribed by a witness all the while.
"Do you have anything I can use, or don't you?" Tangrulath insisted. "I'm not here for philosophy. We are on a time crunch, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Duromaz waved it off. "I've got a few gizmos put together that shouldn't count as 'magic', so they should fly under the radar while you do whatever it is you're doing up there. I'll take a usual boon - hit me up with some live specimens when you get back, and we're good."
Damn! That was going against her newfound conscience! Tangrulath squirmed a bit, knowing that if she agreed then she would likely be compelled against her will to bring along anything that she found 'interesting' enough to be brought to this lab. Where the creature would doubtless wind up being tortured and eventually killed by this lunatic's experiments.
She couldn't agree. She simply couldn't! Oh, damn, damn, damn! Why hadn't she considered that far ahead, it was obvious how this would turn out!
"That might draw too much attention," Tangrulath ventured. "I cannot stress enough how top secret this mission is. Perhaps a future Favour would be better?"
A Favour among Demons was a pretty big deal. It's how things tend to work between Demons of similar power - get a Demon to owe you a Favour, and you could make them do almost anything you wanted. Of course, by the time that Duromaz was able to pull in that favour, Tangrulath ought to be a Demon once again.
"Oh, is that so...?" Duromaz said, eyes narrowing on Tangrulath a bit. "By the way, that's an excellent human disguise. Really superb. Even smells the part, you know? You'll have to tell me about it later on - Though, might I suggest heading straight to the human realm rather than returning to your lair? Wouldn't want to be mistaken for a human by a bunch of Demons, would you?"
Phew! Close one there, for a second shed was worried Duromaz had worked something out. Anyway, her ally tapped a closet, and brought out a bunch of weird looking human items.
"Here, human body armour, fashioned for a woman," Duromaz said. Huh?! That was body armour? She thought that was meant to be a bikini! It was so... tiny! Barely anything there at all! A mere slip of black metal that surely didn't offer any protection at all! "The nipples have a pair of sharp points, with which you can inject any number of poisons or potions. Just pour into this entrance at the back of the neck, and - Voila! One embrace will be your foe's end! I recommend hydrochloric acid, it'll burn them up from the inside!"
"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were trying to get me to show off as much skin as possible..." Tangrulath grumbled.
"Anyway! Shield next!" Duromaz said. She lifted it up, did something with her hand - and the front of the shield dropped to reveal an array of tiny catapults. "Use this to sling smoke grenades, regular grenades, jars of flaming alcohol, rocks you find on the side of the road - or maybe even the skulls of your enemies!"
Uh... She wasn't really seeing how that would be too useful in the middle of a fight, but... Sure. Whatever. She'd take it anyway.
"Rule of Three says I have to give you a third," Duromaz said. "So... Here's a sword. It has a gun embedded into the hilt. It only fits three shots, so make 'em count! I guess if you can get someone to replicate the bullets, you can reload them by twisting the handle and putting them in here..."
Ah, well, that would be better than nothing. At the very least, her ability to swing a sword shouldn't be diminished at all! Now, she could safely go to the surface and... Return herself to being a Demon, rather than a weak willed human.
She resisted the urge to thank Duromaz, as that could result in another Favour. Instead, she gathered up her new equipment and said "That should be helpful. I will provide a field test report when I return."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Getting paid in exposure, sure..." Duromaz dismissively waved. "You have fun in the human realm, now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
Perfect! Nothing else for it, then. No time like the present to get the hell out of hell, and begin her quest to return to normal!
Although, once she was gone, Duromaz bit her bottom lip and spanked herself.
"Ohhh, dear oh dear. I guess I'll have to pay a visit to the human realm myself, soon..." Duromaz sighed. "After all, that hot piece of ass isn't gonna eat itself out... Hehehehe..."
No comments:
Post a Comment