Story: Akane the Half Alien

This is going before the episode I posted a few months ago, as I'm not happy with how it jumped ahead.

 

Every one hundred years, a genius kunoichi was born. A beautiful fair maiden skilled in the art of the kunoichi. Stealth! Assassination! Seduction! A perfect example of the female ninja! It just so happened that in this hundred years the genius kunoichi had a penis.

But that's neither here nor there. What mattered now was this: Konatsu's mistress was in danger. Not physical danger, but financial! The sort that Konatsu understood the least! A wealthy blaggard was abusing his power to harm her. Shampoo as well, but Konatsu honestly hadn't interacted with her that much, and she came across as a pretty bad influence. It wasn't any of her business who Mistress Ukyo decided to hang around with, but in all honesty Konatsu felt it would be better if she stayed away.

Anyway! At this very moment in time Konatsu was engaged in a stealth mission. Since seducing the rich oaf had failed, this was the best backup plan available. Sneak into the most opulent manor that Konatsu had ever seen. Why, the garden alone must have cost a whole thousand yen.

Now you may think this involved hiding within the shadows. Using shadow clone ninjutsu to spy, carefully hanging just out of guard’s sights. Appearing dramatically in full costume in front of the target!


Alas, the security here was freaking insane. Who puts pressure panels on a statue? Who puts laser sensors in between the branches in a tree?! So Konatsu had to do the boring option.

That is to say, dress up as a gardener and walk in with a rake. Strolled right on up to the front gate whistling innocently and confidently as if, you know, you'd have to be crazy to question this cute girl wandering in. Can't you see that she plainly works here?

Anyway, that sort of stunt will get you up to any gate just fine. It's getting past it that can be tricky. Boring, but tricky.

"Oh, sir! I left my ID inside, would it be alright if I went in for a few minutes to get it? I won't be long, I promise!" Flutter eyes, and in they let you. Hehehe, men are so easy to fool. Of course, take too long and the alarm would get raised - and that's why you have things like shadow clones to confuse the enemy.

Of course, nothing could have prepared for actually being in the grounds. As said before, at least a thousand - no, maybe even a thousand and one yen must have been spent on this garden. It was so - so opulent! It was grander than a public park, and the building off in the distance was larger than any Konatsu had ever seen before.

This record was quickly beaten upon realising this was the Mendo's shed and that the actual manor was a little to the left. The sight of that building actually gave Konatsu a nosebleed. Oh, that had to be worth at least - at least two thousand yen! Just the structure alone, never mind what lay within!

Nonetheless, Konatsu had to hurry. The shadow clone was sent back while briefly in a blind spot in the security cameras, but it was only a very brief moment. They had thought this through comically well. Like many wealthy, they were paranoid. They knew all too well what they had done to acquire such riches, and so they knew what others would be willing to do to take it from them. Truly, those with power are most afraid of losing it. The Sword of Damocles hangs not only over the heads of Kings. This made Konatsu reevaluate the target. Shutaro Mendo may act the fool, but in truth...

"It's dark! It's cramped! I'm scared!"

He was every bit the fool that he appeared to be.

Up ahead Konatsu could see a giant bell mysteriously placed in the middle of the path. That was where the voice was coming from. Huh. There was a girl wandering off as well, or rather being carried off by a retinue of servants. Ninja, by the looks of it.

Alright. This was a fact finding mission. Outright killing Mendo would only make things worse for MIstress Ukyo. A family this powerful would not rest until they had found the perpetrator, and even a genius Kunoichi could only hide the evidence so well against such resources. As such, the strategy here was -

"Oh, Mister Mendo? Is that you in there?" Konatsu cried out, adopting the cutesiest voice possible. The bell went still. Very still. It was as though the bell had been killed, if that makes sense?

But then, without warning, it was lifted mightily overhead, and Shutaro Mendo revealed himself to the world, smiling casually as if lifting this heavy thing was no issue at all.

"Have no fear!" Shutaro declared. "Such a trifle cannot hope to harm, frighten or imprison me, young maiden! Ahahaha!"


And now, we get to see a true genius Kunoichi at work. Immediately swooning into his arms, allowing him to catch her, oh this pretty maiden was so obviously overcome by his manliness, etc. Really now that's what you have to do with this sort. Play to their sense of manliness, and they'll eat it right up.

"Oh, you poor thing," Mendo said. He tutted. "I can see that you work for us in the gardens. Such a delicate figure should not be used for rough work. You should be carrying a brush, not a rake."

Blegh! Konatsu didn't know what was worse. The cheesy line, or the fact that he was rich and handsome enough it would probably work on most girls.

<hr>

Ah, what a charming young woman this was. To think such a rose could exist within his own staff, and he'd never noticed until now. She must be new, the poor precious thing. Look at how she gawks at the signs of wealth, obviously not used to it. Look at those immaculate fingers, unsuited for physical labour. Also, look at those birthing hips that almost couldn't help but put on a show for him, making even those overalls seem quite delightful to his amazing gaze...

Yes, indeed. There is no quantifiable difference in how much of a pervert Shutaro Mendo and Ataru Moroboshi was, it just seems that there is because one of them is actually pretty popular with the ladies.

"You will be well looked after while working here," Mendo said. "Oh yes, very well looked after. Perhaps, ah, we could move you to a role more suited to your talents?"

"Oh, kind sir! While that is a most generous offer, in truth it is gardening that is my passion!" the girl said, starry eyed and swooning once again into his arms. "Tell me sir, what is your passion?"

"My passion?" Mendo said. A thoughtful, wistful look came across his face. If one were to do a cross fade of his features, then one would find... Octopi. Yes, octopi frolicking and playing on the beach. What, he's a pervert but he has other interests too. "Ah, my passion is making use of my wealth to improve the local community in any way that I can."

"Is that so?" the girl swooned yet again, rubbing her cheek into his chest. "Is that why, perchance, you have set up those restaurants bearing your family name?"

"Of course!" Mendo puffed out his chest. "It will help to remove some riffraff and lower class restaurants, enabling the local community the chance to enjoy a higher class cuisine instead of their cheap and tawdry dishes."

Huh, how strange, for some reason he felt the barest flicker of a killing aura somewhere nearby. Normally he would attribute that to Moroboshi getting up to some nonsense, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Yes, I heard those... tawdry girls talking about a contest they have challenged you to," the girl tittered cutely. "Oh, the fools."

"Indeed, the perfect chance to humiliate them on their home turf."

 "How delightful," the girl said, beginning to hold him closely. Heh. Well, of course she would. Why wouldn't she? "What sort of plans do you have in mind to put them in their rightful place, you handsome - Oh, forgive me, I go too far."

"Do forgive me for interrupting, dearest brother."

Oh no. His sister. His beloved little sister had arrived to torment him more. Had she not enough enjoyment by dropping that bell on him not five minutes gone? He turned to give her a polite smile, and she returned one of her own. Don't you believe it. A shark's smile is safer to be near than that one. Yet he could not show this in front of a pretty girl. Call it a weakness of his - he could show no weakness in front of such a creature.

"Hello dear sister," he said. "Ryoko, I was merely talking with this delightful creature -"

"Wearing gardening overalls that do not match our uniform," Ryoko sweetly interrupted. "While you were spilling your guts about that upcoming contest you were so excited about."

"Yes, what of it?" he replied, truly oblivious to what she was saying. "Ah, you are concerned because of her class? Well, diamonds can be found in the rough. Sometimes to strike oil you must dig in the deepest ditch, and so forth."

Ryoko peered at the girl, obviously frightening her, and so he stepped in to block her view. Such is a gentleman's duty, to protect the weak from scary monsters.

"Was there something else, dear sister?" he asked.

"No, not at all," Ryoko sweetly replied. "Please, do enjoy yourself with this charming... woman. Please be sure to tell her every single detail about your scheme to win that contest. It would be an extremely intelligent decision to make."

"Yes, I don't see any problem with it either."

"Oh, Shutaro! What a terrifying gaze your sister shot me with!" the gardener moaned. "Please, there is only one way to calm my heart."

"Anything!"

"Tell me in exacting detail everything you're planning to do with this upcoming contest, and any other plans you might have to punish Ukyo Kuonji and... I suppose Shampoo as well."

Heh! What a precocious thing she was. Who was he to deny such a request from such a cute girl! While Shutaro Mendo was capable of many things, such a denial would not be among them!