There's something to be said for heading out, camping under the stars, travelling on yet another exciting adventure with close friends, a party you can rely upon. Strong allies who have your back no matter what, that you could trust with your very life.
Kazuma would really like to have a chance to try that one of these days. A man can dream!
"No! Why should I be sent out as a scout?!" Kazuma yelled, while being poked and prodded away from the warm, comfortable campfire. "Surely our thief party member is far more suitable for this sort of thing!"
"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Aqua said (Yes, yes, I am Kazuma) while lounging around near the comfortable warm fire. "We took a vote, and the majority agreed that you should do it."
“I did vote for myself to scout,” Solana said, “But I was out voted 3 to 1.”
"I didn't vote at all!" Kazuma said. "I veto! Veto! This is tyranny! Since when was our party a democracy?! I didn't vote for that!"
“Well of course you didn’t.” Megumin said, “We did, and won. That’s why it’s a democracy and not Kazuma’s dictatorship.”
"Viva la Republic!" Kazuma yelled with his finger in the air. He was then pelted with stone, and retreated, leaving the girls alone around the warm, comfortable campfire. Ah. It really was bitterly cold tonight, wasn't it?
They were all alone on this cold night resting on a few rocks. With mostly dead trees all around them. The fire made a warm little pocket of comfort in the wasteland surrounding Mt. Plenty.
But then a thought crept in out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere. It came from a simple chain of thought. It was night-time. They were all girls. This was basically a slumber party, wasn't it?
"So, what kind of boys do you like?" Solana asked out of the blue. She said it. She actually said it. The other three had been thinking it, but none of them had dared bring it up. Solana had seen some interesting sights in this party, and now she wanted to hear more from the source so to speak.
"I want a real scumbag!" Darkness said with far too much enthusiasm. "I want someone who will treat me like dirt, and then act like it's my fault! Ooooh!" She clapped her hands to her cheeks and began to wriggle around in anticipation. "I want him to order me around, hand and foot, use me as furniture, treat me like I'm not even a person..."
This was roundly ignored because they already knew this. Darkness wasn't the sort of person who was shy about her perversions. As such, Megumin stood up and adopted a dramatic pose, cocking her hip and pointing outward dramatically while her other hand was holding down her hat.
"To catch the sight of a member of the almighty Crimson Demon Clan requires a man unlike any other!" she declared, confidently and boastfully. "He must be as capable as a roaming wolf, cunning like a demented fox. He must be willing to aid us in channeling our dark and twisted magicks. Let them develop to new heights! Let him inspire! Let him criticise! Let him elevate me even higher with wit, with insight, with -"
"So Kazuma?" Solana interrupted.
Megumin froze like a statue, then slowly grew more and more red until, at last, steam shot out of her ears, the sound of which seemed like an alert to Aqua who began to roll around on the ground laughing uproariously and pounding the dirt with her fists.
"Wh-wh-wh-wha--what do you mean by Kazuma?!" Megumin yelled, picking up her staff and pointing it accusingly, tremblingly, directly at the newest party member. "Wh-wh-wh-who said anything about liking that - that - that - that -thatthatthatthatthatthatthat!"
"Eh, well, it seemed to me like both you and Darkness were kind of into him," Solana said, smiling like a cheshire cat who had caught the cheshire mouse. This caused Aqua's laughter to become louder, her rolling around to become faster, and her fists to pound hard enough to leave small craters in the ground. "So, probably best for the two of you to get this out in the open now. The last thing we need is the two of you getting competitive over him."
"Two girls! Getting competitive! Over that NEET!" Aqua started to suffocate from laughing so hard. "Stop, can't breathe! Hahahahaha!"
Neither Darkness or Megumin seemed to find the idea funny though. Funny that. The two of them were actually feeling... quite horny for some reason. Neither of them could place it, but the idea - the very notion! That it could be Kazuma that was making them horny was absolutely ludicrous. Why, what kind of woman would get turned on by that guy?
<hr>
Right, so this was not how he was expecting to die. Do note, he has died before, but this is by far the most embarrassing way. How could that be? How was that possible? Why, the answer was simplicity itself!
"Oohhh, human! I don't know what it is about you, but I'm soooo ready for your dick!"
The answer was: Being suffocated between the thighs of a busty harpy. That wasn't intended as harpy, meaning "derogatory term towards a woman" in the same way he might refer to a certain useless Goddess. No, no. Far from it. He meant an actual, mythological harpy. A woman with wings, sharp fangs, the whole nine yards. She was sitting on his face, and from what he could tell was wantonly groping herself since her wings were preventing her arms from reaching his trousers.
At first he'd been all for this. She wasn't bad looking, and her skin was smoother than he'd expected. No feathers, and her legs were pretty human like instead of birdlike. Still, it was strange. She'd swooped in, fired some feathers at him, then the damage had been cut in half - and she was on top of him right afterwards.
"I've been stuck in this stupid tower without sight of a good man for twenty years!" she said while humping his face. In particular his mouth and nose. Which were important for a little habit he'd picked up called 'breathing'. "Can you imagine? Can you comprehend?! Any that stumbled in would die to a single hit, get murdered by The Destroyer, or were hideously ugly!"
"I see," he tried to say, but utterly failed to for reasons that should by now be obvious.
"But you! You're cute! Kind of dorky, but cute! You survived my attack, and that's good enough for me!"
Now, dear reader, there was one important factor that Kazuma was not aware of. He had a magical trinket in his possession that cut damage in half, converted the energy into magical power, then released it into the immediate surroundings as lust. Now, can you possibly argue that having your face sat on by a harpy and being unable to breathe is not a form of damage?
"Oh! Yes!" the Harpy moaned, clenching her thighs tighter, and now you can see the kind of hell that Kazuma was stuck within. His legs thrashed out, his body crying out for oxygen. "I must have you! Human! You shall be a most suitable mate!"
Kazuma gurgled, finding momentary relief when her wriggling and writhing let him take a lungful of air, sweet air, at long long last before plummeting him back into that initially sweet but now regrettable hell. Ah! Why couldn't he have normal girls interested in him?! What did he do to deserve this fate?!
... Is he after a list? Because someone has probably made one.
Then as if things couldn't get any worse -
<hr>
"Explosion!"
Kaboom! On the top of Mt. Plenty one could see the single story base of the Deep Tower. Easily visible in the night thanks to the lights that dotted the sides. It was suddenly engulfed in a massive explosion that made one think the volcano may not be extinct for a brief moment.
"Haaa... haaaa... Haaa!" Megumin said (yes, said) on wobbly legs. Yet she was still standing. "Kukuku! Do you see it now? Do you see my power? This is generating more MP than normal!"
Because she was around three other women.
"And this Deep Tower seems to be indestructible! Why else would it be able to survive my mighty explosion! No matter how many times I cast it, I won't trap Kazuma inside its tight narrow passages!"
“It does seem to have the same sort of defenses the General’s Castle does, though.. It’s older so it might not be as resilient and-” Solana began.
Megumin wasn't listening though. She was too busy miming exhaustion for dramatic purposes, while also using them to mask her increasing arousal from using her new toy.
But she was not the only one. Darkness was peering through her own little artefact, in particular she'd been staring at Megumin when she'd been casting that Explosion spell. "Even I would have been hurt by that one," she said, shuddering in anticipation. "Ah, and yes! Your MP level is rising back up very quickly!"
Then she turned her attention from Megumin to look at her other fellow party members. Compelled on by its curse of voyeurism, it lingered on Aqua's legs, trailed up her barely concealed body. Honestly she calls herself a goddess a lot but she sure does have the body of one.
As for that sneaky thief who was trying to steal everything Darkness called precious... Oooh, but her hips were salacious. It could hardly be a wonder that she was able to steal so easily, when those hips could steal the attention of anyone who lingered upon them. The perfect distraction, absolutely sublime. One glimpse, and you wouldn't even notice as she cut your pursestrings. Or steal your man/party slot right in front of you.
"Hey, let me see how powerful it was!" Megumin yelled. "I hold the infernal right to comprehend my own power from the perspective of another! That way leads to true awakening!"
Oh yes, those hips would absolutely ruin your chance to defend your man/party slot from her, you'd be too busy - Oof! All of a sudden a wild Megumin barrelled into her, clinging to Darkness' unarmoured body like a limpet, trying to reach for - for -
Suddenly the two of them were face to face. How strange. Megumin was almost... blushing? Well, the reason for that was obvious enough. Darkness had quite a voluptuous body, while Megumin's figure was... shall we say slender? Slender is probably the word to use, other words to describe her chest in relation to her peers would lead to a point blank Explosion.
"<i>Pardon Moi</i>... but were you guys planning on double teaming Kazuma?" Solana asked out of nowhere, causing the two of them to bounce off each other and sit seiza position with their backs to one another. “I mean, I think Darkness would be up for that…” She paused, “Plus, that would be a much better way to resolve this than some love triangle.”
This set Aqua off again. "My stomach! It hurts! Hahaha! Oh no, I have to be careful not to roll into the fire! Hahahahaha! But I can't stop laughing! K-Kazuma, the centre of a love triangle! That NEET! Hahahaha!"
“I don’t think he’s a Neet, Miss Aqua. He has a job after all. He’s not like a <i>Hikikomori</i> at all.” Solana said. Alas Aqua was too busy laughing to wonder why she knew what “NEET” meant. "Oh well, it's probably time that we went to look for him. He's been gone for quite a while now, he must have gotten himself in some mischief or other. I'll take care of that."
If you watched carefully, you might see a spike of energy appear over Megumin and Dakrness when they heard that. As Solanna rose to her feet and started to stroll out of camp, she counted down on her fingers and when she had none left -
"Where do you think you're going?" Darkness asked. "Trying to solidify yourself as taking my place in the party?"
"Or perhaps you're going to try to rob Kazuma blind!" Megumin said. "He's already dirt poor as it is!"
The trio wandered off on their scouting mission, leaving Aqua alone in camp, her laughter winding down. She rolled onto her back, stared up at the sky, then waited about a minute after they were gone before looking around and slipping her fingers under her skirt.
"Oooh, I've never done this before, it's so dirty," Aqua complained. "Ah! Ah! Ohhhh, don't you dare defile me, you cretin. I'm a Goddess! I'm so far above you, it would be scandalous if I - If I..."
Whatever she was going to say after that became a bit incoherent as the erotic moaning pretty much took over at this point. Needless to say, but the plan to keep them distracted seemed to be working. At least, so far...
- Kazuma somehow escapes the horny harpy - and runs into a pit made up of sleeping slimegirls. Who he also makes horny by accident.
- Kazuma is found by the girls trapped between the thighs of the harpy.
- Back with Yunyun and her 'training'.
- The trio run into another monster girl and accidentally lewd her.
- Something else
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