Elves have a way with wood. It's only natural really. They grow up in forests, they listen to nature more keenly than others. It is said, if you ask an Elf, that they were born from the fruit of the First Tree. This connection to nature means that they are a bit more sensitive to changes in the natural flows of energy that exist in this world. Compared to most other races it’s practically a sixth sense.
This means that a particular witch boy had no idea the impact he was going to have when he went over to his childhood friend to explain the situation.
"So, technically we're now - on paper - married," Nevill said. The boy in girls clothes fidgeted cutely, sighed wearily and then said "Well, gotta go, we have to make sure our room is, uh, appropriate for a newly married couple. I guess? See you later!"
"Bye, bye!" Elincia said with a far too bright and cheery smile on her face.
And then it began.
"Oh, I'm so happy for them!" she said, while setting a book on fire. A few prancing steps forward, a neat twirl in place. "I'm sure they will be very happy together!" she said rather loudly while alighting a bench.
Up onto her tiptoes she went, frolicking forward without a seeming care in the world, an eerie smile on her pretty features as she lifted her hands and said "I wonder if I can be the maid of honour?!" while giant pillars of flame shot out through the school courtyard.
Now, you're probably thinking something like 'hang on, that kind of wanton destruction will surely get her expelled, right?' Well, yes. If not for the giant shimmering stag hurriedly rushing around, slapping its hooves down on broken or scorched items and fixing them up magically.
"Oh! Perhaps they shall name. Their. First. Born. After. Me!"
The stag let out a sound approximating a gulp, and then fire. So much fire. You would think the courtyard had been teleported into the middle of a star. The stag - her familiar, to be clear - slapped its hooves to the side of its face in dismay and then rushed around very quickly keeping the fire from getting out of control. If only it could do the same for its master.
After that outburst the stag was left lying on the ground, breathing heavily and holding up a white flag. Elincia herself was sort of... standing still. Wobbling in place. It was the sort of thing you'd normally associate with a witch who had cast a little too much magic, but don't be silly. She could have done this for an hour straight had she the mind to.
"Although, hang on. Isn't that strange?" she asked, tapping her lips. "That idiot summoned that girl from another land, and now they're married? That doesn't add up. It doesn't add up at all."
Her head rolled around, to and fro. She tapped her foot impatiently on the ground, and tried to think through the problem. "It's also strange that he summoned a human to start with. Whoever heard of that? She had spent ages researching, and even the Princess’s connections seemed to not be picking up anything. “And what kind of name is <i>Terra</i> anyway!” The Headmistress knew what was up, but there’s no way Moria Winters would spill the beans. You don’t become a several hundred year old witch and the headmistress of the best witchcraft academy in the known world by <b>blabbing.</b>
But then - it was as if a lightbulb had gone off over her head.
"Unless. She's not. Human. She only appears to be human. She could be a demon. A devil. A succubus! Out to steal his stupid little witchy soul!"
Of course Nevil would somehow accidentally summon a demon as a familiar. Of course that... that idiot would do something like that! Well then! It wasn't like she <i>cared</i> enough about him to - to do something about it! She was - she was only going to help him out b-because it was the right thing to do.
"Idiot!" she groused. "Fine, I'll save you from your own wanton carnal lusts. I'll save you... Even if I have to marry you myself!"
One thing to note about tsunderes. Give them a hard denial, and there's a real risk they might wind up taking a hard turn into yandere territory.
<hr>
You know, it was just hitting Annalise now while lying in bed. Her day had started with her being yeeted across the multiverse by a crossdressing witch - who by the way was very convincing as a girl - and had ended with her sleeping in the same room as him behind a magical barrier intended to stop anything untoward from happening. Because they were married. On paper.
She was <i>married</i>. Oh wow, all those idiot boys who were afraid of her for being too tall or half-american can just suck it! Granted, she'd rather not ever introduce her parents to the little husband... God, she might be the more masculine of the two of them, he certainly looked better in a dress. Anyway, none of that was the point. The point was -
"Hey, wait a second, did he do that on purpose?" she wondered. That was a pretty out there thought. Kind of drenched in paranoia. It's not hard to see playing out. Lonely boy uses magic to summon cute girl, uses legalese to get married to her - Bu no. No, that was paranoid garbage. For several reasons.
Firstly, it was a convoluted way to get what he was apparently after. This is the test that causes most conspiracy theories to fall flat on their face if you actually objectively look at them, by the way. Those involved usually have better techniques to get what they want.
Second, what had happened to her seemed to be an extreme oddity. Unlike most of the light novels Sora loved reading nobody seemed to think summoning someone from another world was possible. Heck, they didn’t seem to think that she was even from another world. Rather, from some obscure land far to the south.
Lastly, and this was actually the most convincing...
"Wah! Annalise! There's a bug in my hair! Get it out get it out get it out!"
Nevill just did not seem to be the type to think about summoning a girlfriend. He was too… pure? Like an innocent girl. Except as a boy. Case in point, when she rolled out of bed to help him extract the bug from his hair, he was wearing a pink bunny onesie. With floppy ears (currently hanging down as the hood was not on his head) and a little poofy tail and everything.
“Where did you get that?” Annalise asked.
“It’s a manafly! They kind of eat ambient magic, it’s the barrier!”
“Not the bug? The pajamas?”
“Oh this was a birthday present from Elincia!”
Oh yes. Elincia. Add another reason onto the pile. Annalise had read enough to recognise a love triangle when she saw one and for some reason those girls were all over this boy, while he was too dumb to notice. Honestly, as a wife she should be trying to keep him away from two girls way hotter than her who wanted to - For whatever reason - taste his magic wand.
She sighed, plucked the bug off his head, opened the window and tossed it outside. Really, a boy like this had two a-class babes after him? What were they seeing?
"Th-thanks!" Neville said. Hood up. Bunny ears on head. Wiping the tears from his eyes with a bright pink paw. "Um... You're staring at me with a weird expression?"
"Urge.. to protect... rising..." Annalise mumbled. It wasn’t fair! If she was going to be involved in some silly magic plot why couldn’t she be the magical maiden being protected by some gallant knight?
But no. Instead she got captain adorable and the two insanely powerful, thirsty witches standing on either side, waiting for a chance to rip her hair out from the roots. Alright! So let's think this through rationally. She was only married to him on paper. It wasn't uncommon for paper marriages to have a mistress on the side.
Which of course brought to mind the <i>trashier</i> novels Sora read which had these bloated harems around the protagonist. Right. So the smart thing to do was to nip this in the bud ASAP. Make him pick one of them, hook them up, and then things sort themselves out from there.
"So, those friends of yours from before," Annalise began. "Luisenne and Elincia, wasn't it?"
"Oh yes, those two are always so nice to me," Neville said, smiling bright enough to blind the sun. Urge to protect rising even faster! “Even if Elincia does tease me sometimes for making mistakes, and Luisenne..." A wistful sigh. "She's the school idol. If only she'd see me as something other than a fellow student..."
Dense. He was dense. Dense beyond belief.
"Do you think there are any boys that they like?" Annalise ventured.
"Oh, yes. I'm sure there is," Neville nodded. "I would say that Luisenne can have any Prince that she wishes, from any kingdom, and that Elincia definitely has someone in mind. She always compares me disfavorably to him."
Tsundere and ojou sama. Tsundere and ojou sama! Warning, warning, we are in mortal danger!
“I’ve been friends with Elincia since I was a little kid. So she always looks out for me.”
Good lord. A Tsundere <i>Childhood Friend.</i>
"Ah... I wisht those two got along better," Neville sighed. "It's funny, I don't even know why they keep on interacting with each other. They have nothing in common."
"Except you," Annalise prodded.
"I guess, now that you mention it." Dammit, notice already! "Still, they're so intensely competitive. Like the time they had that contest where they would sit in my lap and feed me handmade sweets. Uh? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Idiot..." Annalise muttered. "He's a complete and total idiot..."
"Wow, that's weird," Neville said, playing with his bunny ears. Damn this urge to protect! "Elincia says that a lot too. Anyway, I wish they'd get on better, but I guess there's some things even magic can't fix."
Before this could go any further there was a knock on the door. That very quickly became the door bhursting into flames and an irate elven tsundere marching in while a frustrated stag stamped its foot on the door to make it reform, which onyl made sense to her because sure why the fuck not at this point?
"Alright, dummy! I'm here to make sure there is no naughty stuff going on in here tonight!" Elincia sniffed and crossed her arms. "This is still a respected academy, so even if you're married -"
"Oh! Don't worry!" Neville cheerfully interrupted. "As you can see, I've already set up a barrier. Nothing untoward will happen tonight, nosir, no ma'am!"
Elincia strode right past Annalise as if she wasn't even there. It begins. She took one look at the barrier- then immediately began to cast her own spell on it.
"Reinforcing it?" Annalise asked.
"Reinforcing it!" Elincia darkly replied.
- Elincia challenges Neville to a witches duel. All part of her plan to reveal the truth!
- In bursts Lusienne next, and she reinforces the barrier yet again.
- Of course they wake up spooning. Because that’s just how the world works isn’t it.
- Something else
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