Now Diary, as I am sure you would have noticed from previous entries, if anyone is suited to distract Lum it would be... Ataru himself. If you wanted a close second it had to be Ran. She has a doll-like appearance, but that girl is impulsive, immature and presumably runs off frustration and spite.
She also has quite a blatant unrequited attraction towards Lum. That is why - following my previous entry - I immediately approached Ran. I had toyed with the idea of setting her on the path to joining the harem with this visit, but decided to err on the side of patience. A juggler should not toss more balls into the air than he is confident he can handle, and one at a time will be quite enough for the time being. Ryuunosuke has my focus, then.
As for how that meeting went...
<hr>
"What do you want?"
Oyuki sighed quietly, half expecting that response. Ran was standing at the top of the ramp leading into her spacecraft, bazooka over her shoulder aimed squarely at Oyuki. As if it were any threat. She could freeze a rocket in mid-air, or cause the internal mechanisms of the device to malfunction at a moment's notice. Now, that might seem like a great big 'wait wait, a bazooka, really?' moment to those that didn't know Ran - or only knew the facade she barely wore - but this is how the girl was.
In a word, neurotic. In more words, neurotic enough to cause a beehive to panic by walking by it. In even more words, she had developed a deeply distrustful personality (among numerous other psychological issues) from a mother that blamed her for literally everything. On that basis it was obvious that a surprise visit would be greeted with suspicion. Deep, dep suspicion.
Lucky for Oyuki, then, that she was quite adept at manipulating people without seeming manipulative.
"Must I have a reason for paying a visit out of the blue?" Oyuki asked. Now, that might seem like a bad choice. It would play right into Ran's paranoia. Make her ask further questions. But that's the point. Anything Oyuki did would play into Ran’s paranoia. So the best option was to guide it down the path to the results Oyuki wanted.
"Yes! You're sneaky! You want something!" Ran yelled.
"Oh dear. I did not realise you thought that little of me." Which was a lie from Oyuki. She knew full well what Ran thought of her. She waved her hand and froze the bazooka into a block of solid ice. To Ran's credit, she actually managed to keep it held up for a second before its weight proved too much for her. "Why don't I come inside so we can discuss the matter more privately?"
That was a touch blatant, but it did move things forward a little. Ran might have questioned why Oyuki wasn't using her ice powers after a little while, which would make her even harder to manipulate the way that Oyuki was aiming for. As such, they went inside, and Ran brewed up some tea while Oyuki considered her next move.
"So? Can I get you anything?" Ran sweetly asked. "Sugar? A scone? Some strychnine?"
"If you were seeking to poison me, you’d be better off using antifreeze.”
"Hahaha! How funny!" Ran said. She didn't actually laugh there. She quite literally said 'hahahahaha'. "So? Not paying a visit to Lum? No Benten, either? Why come to me? If you wanted entertainment, then usually you'd hassle Lum, because her darling is so entertaining."
Entertaining was probably not intended as a euphemism for 'hot as the sun', but Oyuki would pretend that it was in her mind for the time being.
"On occasion, one wants a change of pace," Oyuki said. "You are quite entertaining in your own right as well, Ran."
"Oh, so you want me to put on a song and dance for you? Is that it?!" Ran asked, leaning over the table in a way that was quite terrifying. That being said, if you were to rank how scary Ran was at, let's say 10, then Oyuki knew for a fact that if <i>she</i> got serious, then Oyuki would be at 100. "My what a friendly visitor I have? Am I here solely for your amusement? Is that it?!"
"Now you are putting words in my mouth," Oyuki said. Then, before Ran could counter, she set her trap. "It is like Lum was saying, you have a bad habit of doing that."
"Lum was saying?" Ran asked. "When did Lum say that?"
Oyuki made a show of looking up and to the left. Then said "Last week."
"Ah! You looked up and to the left! That's a sign you're inventing a lie rather than trying to remember something! She told you recently, didn't she? She sent you here to keep me busy!"
"Now, Ran. Why on Earth would Lum want to do that?"
Honestly, Oyuki had no idea why. However, there's a trick to paranoid people. Once you give them a pattern, they fill in the rest themselves. From such things are conspiracies born.
"Let's see, let's see... My mother's birthday is coming up," Ran said. "Yes, yes! That must be it! That sneaky Oni is planning a surprise gift for her, and is trying to cut me out!"
Do note that this is the sort of thing that Lum would not do. As in, it's almost exactly the opposite of what she'd do. She probably didn't even know such an event was imminent.
"She's getting the bitch a gift while leaving me in the cold!" Ran yelled, her pretty face morphing into something more like her true personality. "So that she. Can hog. All the. Attention! As usual! Luuuuuuum!"
It was quite impressive, actually. Watching her dash around the room, gathering up her explosive remote control dolls. Grabbing an emergency delivery catalogue so she could acquire a few trinkets to pester Lum (not to buy her mother a gift) and completely ignoring Oyuki.
On second thought maybe she could have tried to push for her to join the harem as well. It's not as if Ran is all that difficult to manipulate...
<hr>
I must confess to being a little naughty, dearest diary. When Ran fled, screaming about her inevitable vengeance on Lum, I was left alone within her home. I should have left. That would be the polite thing to do, but... I did not. Instead, I decided to look around a little. There was time before the date was due.
Yes, yes, I know. It was quite inappropriate of me. Still... It did prove to be worth my time. Because I found something amazing. Dusty, neglected, but amazing.
It was a subconscious diary. Oh, I should explain just to keep my thoughts in order if nothing else. The same way that I write in you, dearest diary, the owner's subconscious mind writes within the subconscious diary. It's intended as a therapy device. I assume that Ran's mother bought it for her some time back, but she didn't read it out of spite. Or maybe she did, and - well...
Do recall my earlier hypothesis about her being attracted to Lum? I had underestimated it. The lewd imaginings, the sexual frustration that mounted higher and higher from each page to the next... It was quite intense. I had to drag myself away, lest I lose track of time - and I brought the diary with me.
It would give me a useful insight into Ran's behaviour, and it would also permit me to keep tabs on her and Lum. A vital tool if I am to keep things going the way that I intend. In the meantime, I had a date to set up. And a date - any date - is in need of a location with a suitable atmosphere...
<hr>
Oyuki looked around and nodded in triumph. It was perfect. Absolutely flawless. The lighting, the furniture, the architecture, it was all perfectly romantic, a suitable location for two hunky boys to have a date. For a pair of “Bros” to get their “Ro” on.
"Ah, that was quite witty," she said. "I should write that down."
There was one problem, of course. It was rather obvious in retrospect. That problem was, this miniature recreation of a gym was 100% made out of solid ice. It was comfortable for her. Might not be so for humans. Then again, if she played it right they could snuggle together under a blanket. Or perhaps she could encourage them to 'work out' to heat up?
But as she turned to leave..
"Blegh, you call this a gym?" a rather uncouth and ugly man said, wandering in like he didn't even are who owned the place. "I've seen better gyms in an ant farm."
"That does not make sense," Oyuki said. "How did you get here?"
She had met this man before. It was Ryuunosuke's father. The man stormed forward, and made an attempt to tower over her.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you cheated my son in that contest!”
“You mean the contest you blatantly tried to rig and that I won fair and square?”
"No, the other contest! Where you cheated!" Ryuunosuke's father said. "I don't know what you're up to, trying to get in my son's business, but it's gonna stop!"
"I see," Oyuki tilted her head. Then with a wave of her hand, she froze the man in a giant block of ice. "How strange, it almost sounds like I hear a great deal of rejoicing."
<hr>
I have Mister Fujinami stored away for the time being in deep cold storage. The man is quite horrible, though. I've already had his affairs looked into and - honestly, the Earth might be better off without him in it. I might let him out for his son’s wedding. To Ataru, of course. Or maybe if Ryuunosuke asks for him. Though I highly doubt that will occur.
In any event, the setup for the date is all in place, now. All that remains is bringing Ataru and Ryuunosuke together for their 'bromantic' evening. From there, I do have a few plans to make things proceed. It is still a touch strange that the first proper member of Ataru's harem shall be another boy, but...
Honestly he's quite adorable. If I'd run into him before Ataru I might be setting up a harem for him instead! But, no. I have set her sights on Ataru Moroboshi and that was that. Now, I'm going to give him a quick call and pull him in for this date. Hopefully he'll be on board with my plan - if not having some ideas of his own as well.
Speak soon, dearest diary, and I shall be sure to let you know how the date went.
- “Unfortunately I had to put off my observations and support for the date because Ran’s own schemes and fantasies took all of my efforts to contain properly.”
- "It turns out that Ryuunosuke was a girl all along. Funny that. I’m almost disappointed."
- "Benten decided to butt her nose in, though she seems a bit more interested than the last time I saw her."
- Something else
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