Sunday, 2 February 2020

Story: Love Hina WP


Alright, she'd had just about enough of this. Naomi stomped into Motoko's room, the maid nipping at her heels, and then stomped on over to the apparent cause of... all this. A crummy old word processor. She stood over it, hands on hips, and stared accusingly.

"So this thing can rewrite reality or some bullshit like that?" Naomi hissed. "What is this, Delirious?"

"No, I would say we're quite lucid," Motoko said.

"I meant the movie!" Naomi yelled back. Then her romantic rival stared back at her blankly. "John Candy? Winds up in his own cheesy soap opera?"

"No, I've seen it," Motoko said. "It's awful. Why would you even make a reference to that at a time like this?"

"Missing the point!" Naomi huffed. "Let's see here, what's been written on this already... Eh?!"

Well, that was a bit of a shock to the system. It felt like her whole world just dropped away from under her. The first couple of commands, they were nothing too out there, but this one about Naru Narusegawa... that was her assumed name here in Japan, wasn't it? She was actually an American girl. An idol.

"H-Hold on now, wait a minute," Naomi said. "How do we know this is legitimate? For all we know this could be some kind of misdirection. A prank. A practical joke. So let's test it out before -"

But then, Motoko had her feather duster drawn and held sharply to Naomi's neck. "And what would you write in that word processor?" she asked. "You aren't thinking of sending me to Cleveland, are you?"

"Aha! I knew you secretly liked that movie!" Naomi said, but then regretted it when the feather duster was held much tighter against her neck. "Ack! I wasn't going to write anything weird!"

"The first command on this contraption is a command to write something weird," Motoko said. "Besides, who is to say you wouldn't take the opportunity to write something like 'Keitaro Urashima is my love slave' or something equally obnoxious?"

As if she'd write something like that! Boyfriend, husband, fiance, but love slave? How preposterous, how absurd, how come she hadn't thought of it first?

"What does it matter to you?" Naomi asked. "You're admitting that you want to ride that landlord's D? That's one way to get out of paying rent, I guess."

"M-me and M-Master...?" Hearing her sputter and stammer like that was kind of cute in its own way. "Oh, you crass foreign girl! I will be the one to type in the new command!"

She pushed Naomi away causing her to tumble across the floor. Right. Well, yeah. She is super strong even if she does dress up like a maid. Hold up now. Naomi rolled over and scooted back across the floor on her hands and knees as quickly as she could, tackling onto Motoko's back.

"And who is to say that you can be trusted not to make that cute landlord <i>your</i> love slave?" Naomi asked. Then she nuzzled into Motoko's neck, making her whimper oh so cutely. "Or maybe you'll do that to the rest of us, huh?"

"What kind of dirty mind do you have?" Motoko snarled.

"Well, maybe it wouldn't even be your fault?" Naomi said. "I mean, if this thing really does warp reality then that first line is going to make you type out something silly."

"That's true..." Motoko said. "Then perhaps... I'll do something very silly, like making you a part time clown."

"Honk!" Naomi yelled right in Motoko's ear while violently groping the maid's boobs. "Not funny! If you're going to change something, then change yourself!"

"Alright fine! I'll make my hair... " she trailed off. "Wait. If this causes retroactive changes then how would we even know if it worked?"

That... huh! That was a good question. They <i>could</i> try typing something like 'Naomi and Motoko fully understand the word processor' but that probably wasn't silly enough. It would probably only let them do something a bit more extreme, like 'Naomi and Motoko fully understand the word processor, but only when they're holding a rubber chicken' or something stupid like -

"Motoko! I've figured out what we should type!" Naomi said, only to hear a distinctive 'ding' noise as Motoko hit the enter key. Oh no. Oh no! "What did you just enter?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Motoko said. Her voice was cracking. "I was trying to type 'Naomi has an ice cream sandwich', but then this popped into my head and my fingers wouldn't type anything else!"

Naomi whimpered and leaned in for a look. What horrible thing had she entered? What change had she wrought upon the world?

20: There is nothing unusual about Keitaro Urashima having an openly polygamous relationship.

"Oh, is that all?" Naomi asked. "Well, I mean, why did you even bother typing that?"

"Yes, I don't quite know why I panicked there," Motoko said. "Unless, perhaps... it wasn't ordinary until I typed it? That is the only thing that makes sense, but -"

"But there really isn't anything unusual about Keitaro having an openly polygamous relationship," Naomi added. She furrowed her brow, feeling confused. This felt like a paradox. If there was nothing weird about it, then Motoko had no reason to type it out. On the other hand if there was something weird, then she might get the urge to type it out and then after the effect hit they'd retroactively get hit by it, but that couldn't be the case because there was nothing unusual about -

Oh dear she'd gone cross-eyed.

"Wait, I have it!" Naomi said, still cross-eyed. She slapped the back of her own head in an attempt to shake it off. No dice. "Type in, 'Naomi and Motoko came up with a brilliant, wacky solution to the stripperbot problem'!" There! That wasn't inherently zany in and of itself, but it would cause further zaniness, so perhaps the word processor would let it come through?

"I'll give it a try!"

There we go, she could see straight again. Aha! Her eyes flew to the word processor just as Motoko hit enter again, and -

21: Motoko's boobs are a size bigger and proportionally more sensitive, and only Naomi knows any different.

Boing, boing. Naomi's hands went a-wandering up Motoko's torso, gave a quick squeeze, and <i>nice</i>. That was setting off all kinds of nice feelings, but it wasn't exactly what they were looking for right now. Not that she stopped groping Motoko or anything.

"I didn't mean to type that!" Motoko sputtered. "Thank goodness it doesn't seem to have done anything."

"Uh huh, yeah sure," Naomi said. Maybe ask her to type that again...? Wow. Really nice. Wait. No. Don't get distracted. "Alright, if that didn't work, try... The stripperbots are the property of whoever they are a copy of, and will obey their every command."

This time around Naomi watched Motoko's fingers like a hawk, watching for any deviation in movement from what she'd said. This made her unconsciously hug onto her romantic rival even tighter, squeezing her breasts while pushing her own right into Motoko's back. You know, she really is cute. And since there wasn't anything wrong with Keitaro having a polygamous relationship, maybe...

22: The Stripperbots will obey Shinobu's every command.

Wait, crap, she got distracted there almost right away! "Undo it!" Naomi yelled. "Undo it, right now!"

"Wait, don't tell me..." Motoko said, sounding quite suspicious all of a sudden. "You were secretly hoping to get your own back on Tsunderebot, weren't you? By making her your personal servant!"

"No!" Naomi protested. "Yes..." she muttered a moment later. "Well... I mean, this sorts that out fine and well, I guess? Now we need to figure out what to do with this thing..."


  1. Shinobu quickly learns she can command the Stripperbots. They are now her playthings.
  2. Naomi and Motoko figure out what to do with the Word Processor.
  3. The Word Processor figures out what to do with Naomi and Motoko.
  4. Meanwhile, Keitaro is trying to deal with Mebot.
  5. Something else

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