"Unbelievable," she muttered to herself while storming in through the front door. As she did so, she let out a friendly "I'm home! That lousy warrior girl, can't she see something's definitely wrong with Ranma, no, of course not, got to get all perverted and take advantage of the situation. Honestly, what was I thinking turning to her to ask for -"
That was right around the point she had finished her stomping journey up towards her room and opened the door. At which point she beheld the sight of Ranma Saotome, girl form, reclining on her bed and resting her head on one hand while the other trailed down her body. There was nothing on her but a towel across the middle, making it quite clear that Ranma was "better built to boot" than quite a lot of girls Akane knew.
But the one thing that caught her attention the most completely was the eyes. You couldn't ask for a better pair of "come hither" eyes. You could use that gaze to weld steel.
Akane did two things in very short order: She blushed, and then she closed the door. It was as if someone had thrown salt inside the gears of her brain. Of all the things she'd expected to see inside her room as soon as she got home today, she might have expected an encounter with a tap dancing radish before she would think of Ranma, in girl form, naked on her bed -
For those wondering when the fuse would be lit, that was the point, right there. Naked. On her bed. Embarrassment? Confusion? Concern for Ranma's strange behaviour? Tossed out the window! She slammed that door open and stomped a foot inside. "Ranma!" she yelled at that same instant. "What... The hell... Are you... Doing?"
"Eating a bagel," said a voice behind her. A male voice. In between chomps. Akane slowly turned around and saw him standing there, holding a bag of bagels in one hand and taking great big bites out of a bagel in his other hand. "Want one?"
"But." Akane blinked and turned around to look. That was... "Weren't you just in here?" Ranma tilted his head, seeming confused. "But I saw you just now! You were lying on my bed in your girl form!"
"Huh, active imagination much?" Ranma asked, twirling the last remnants of the bagel on his index finger before bouncing it off his shoulders, first one and then the other, and then into his mouth. "No wonder I want to bend you over that desk and fuck you silly."
The slap was like a gunshot. Even Akane was surprised at how fast her hand moved. "Pervert!" she yelled. Ranma dusted himself off, caught the bag of bagels and rubbed his cheek. "How dare you say something like that! Oh, honestly, you are awful!"
"Say something like what?" Ranma asked, wincing quite a bit. "All I said was 'just got back, don't be silly.' Violent tomboy!"
Akane reeled for a moment before getting angry again. What a bald-faced lie! "You actually expect me to believe that?!" she asked with a huff and a shake of her mighty, mighty fist. Ah, hold on a moment. Maybe... Maybe this was more of whatever weird was going on with him right now? Maybe Ranma really did believe that he had said what he had said he had said, but actually said what he had said instead of what he said he had said?
Oof. She might need to invest in a blackboard before this mess was sorted out. Akane frowned and tried to think this through. If Ranma isn't aware of doing anything strange then she should definitely hold off on admonishing him, because it would be like punishing a dog long after it had made a mess on the carpet. He wouldn't know what he did wrong. But if he did know, then she should punish him immediately.
Either way got her no closer to working out what was going on with Ranma right now.
"You really don't remember saying anything weird?" Akane asked, full of suspicion.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Ranma grumbled. "Cute, sexy tomboy! You're so hot when you're upset!"
Before Akane could say anything about that particular remark a new voice piped up. Nabiki. Aha! "I hope you two aren't planning on making too much noise out here," she warned. "I have money to count."
"Nabiki, what did Ranma say just now?" Akane asked. "I'll pay you a hundred yen if you say it, right now."
"Hundred and fifty," Nabiki said without missing a beat. She kept on casually strolling off towards her room, and as she passed by Akane slapped the dough into her waiting hand. "He just called you an uncute tomboy who invents things to get upset at him. Thank you for your custom."
He... Huh? What? "Are you sure that's what he said?"
"Hrm?" Nabiki sighed. "Is little sis thinking her fiance is saying nice things about her? I do hope you aren't developing a complex."
And with that thought Nabiki closed the door behind her leaving Akane completely flummoxed. Had she been wrong this entire time? No, couldn't be. Shampoo had seen it as well... Then again she'd use any excuse to spend time with Ranma. On top of that how had he managed to switch from girl to guy form, get dressed and behind her within, what, the ten seconds when the door was closed?
Was she simply imagining things? Seeing and hearing what she...
"Hmph, if you're gonna be like this then I won't give you these bagels," Ranma stubbornly said. "No matter how much you plead, nor how pretty you get when you smile."
This time she didn't even question it. Akane stepped into her room, closed the door and had a really hard think about what just happened.
<hr>
By this point Ranma knew Akane pretty well. He knew that she knew him just as well, which was what made this whole affair rather devious on his part. She was stubborn, and worse yet she had just seen him doing that super-hot ballroom dancing thing with Shampoo. So if he wanted to bed her, he had to do two things: One, make it up to her. Two, make her give serious consideration to wanting it.
First thing he did on arriving home: He grabbed a bag of bagels and walked up to Nabiki, then slapped half the money he had on the table in front of her, making a point to show her the other half still in his hand. "Three minutes after Akane comes home, I want you to wander upstairs and tell her that you heard me say my usual stuff."
"Really now, Saotome?" Nabiki said, quirking an eyebrow. "You think you can buy my service and my silence with this much."
"Nope," Ranma grinned. "You get the other half after. Deal?"
"Hmph. You're learning," Nabiki sighed, although Ranma could kind of tell she was already planning to sell this information to other people. Screw that. So long as she played her part that was all that mattered.
Next, Ranma tipped some cold water over her head, grabbed a towel and a thermos full of warm but not boiling water. After which she entered Akane's room, rolled her trouser legs up as far as they would go and draped the towel over them, completely hiding that she was still wearing them. That wouldn't work for her shirt unfortunately. But what was rather fortunate was that this girl form was much smaller, so it didn't quite fit the same. It was easy to pull it over her head, tuck it under Akane's pillow to hide it and then make sure it was hidden by lying in front of it, the pose and the towel giving the illusion of nudity.
Where was the bag of bagels? Tucked under the towel, obviously. But that's a minor point.
What really matters is when Akane opened the door and... And Ranma wanted her. That desire in her eyes was completely genuine. All those cheesy, dumb things Kuno said about her? Two hundred percent true! That fire, that passion. Sure, the body wasn't as hot as his girl form, and he could do without the temper, but she made up for it in other ways.
Unfortunately - and as Ranma had predicted - she had closed the door out of sheer shock at seeing this. If she hadn't? Well, that was when Ranma would put the moves on her. Pretty much no choice at that point. Ranma, being Ranma, was rather confident that even without this particular scheme she'd melt after the charms were turned all the way on.
That was Plan B. Plan A seemed to be on track. So, when the door closed Ranma whipped the towel over her shoulder, grabbed her shirt and the bagels, then leaped up to the roof. The shirt was pulled overhead, the towel was tucked on top of a wardrobe for later retrieval, and the thermos was tipped out overhead all in a few moments. When Akane slammed the door open Ranma simply crawled outside and dropped silently to the floor, then began munching on a bagel as if he'd simply strolled upstairs.
What was the point to that? Simple. Make Akane think that she'd been projecting pervy thoughts onto him. It wasn't a sure shot, and this trick wouldn't work at all if she wasn't at least a little interested... But Ranma was certain that she was. Obviously she was. Have you seen how cute he is? In both forms? If she wasn't distracted by those other babes then no doubt Akane would absolutely go for this. All Ranma had to do now was play his cards right, and they'd both be much happier for it.
Trouble was Ranma was lousy at card games.
- Back with Shampoo, she's started to feel a little funny.
- While paying back Nabiki, Ranma inadvertently uses the spell on her next.
- Akane thinks about what has just happened.
- Ukyo arrives. Things get complicated.
- Something else
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