Ah, the mysteries of life. Where did we come from? What's the point to it all? What happens after death? Are there such things as truly objective and measurable morality and ethics? Mariko was hardly the sort to consider such grand and epic mysteries of the cosmos, but very soon she would be utterly, uh, baffled. But not by the battle with her rival Tomiko that morning. No, Mariko had put that incident out of her mind already.
It was lunchtime at Furinkan High School. In front of Mariko was Akane Tendo, and the two of them standing in the gym with special permission from the teachers. The two of them had been in the same class all year and never really talked much; they seemed totally incompatible from a friendship POV. Then it turned out Akane was her best friend's fiancee, and what do you know, she's not so bad as all that. It didn't hurt they were, like, so totally into each other and doing that cute thing where they were pretending not to be! Teehee, that love tap Akane gave him after she broke out of that trance!
Etched onto that girl's face was a mask of absolute determination. Brow furrowed, eyes clear and focused. On her body, one of the cheerleader uniforms, which came in a multitude of colours for whatever reason. Green sleeveless leotard with the high collar attached around the neck, frilly green skirt and a pompom in both hands. Her stance was, well, totally aggressive, but it somehow made her all the cuter. Mariko wanted to pinch her cheeks and coo at her.
"Alright!" Akane said. Oof, that battle aura! "I'm ready to learn Cheerleading Martial Arts!"
Mariko whipped up her baton underneath Akane's chin and gently lifted her head.
"I'll be the J-U-D-G-E of that, sweetie!" Mariko cheered, bouncing slightly on her feet in time to her words. "First thing's first. I need to see what you can do. Cartwheel for me."
Akane fidgeted a little with her skirt, but seemed to remember the leotard she was wearing covered up everything anyway. The pompoms were put down, Mariko stepped back, Akane raised her hands and did a picture-perfect cartwheel. You couldn't do it any better, really. Nice. Very nice! Mariko had been watching like a hawk, and she could tell that Akane's body was extremely used to intense athletic activity.
"Hrm... Not bad," Mariko admitted, twirling her baton around in one hand, putting her other hand on her hip and tap, tap, tapping her foot. "Pick up those pompoms, and copy me!"
This had potential. Real potential! At first Mariko had just, you know, thought she was helping her good buddy's fiancee improve at martial arts but now she could see something else. An opportunity made of solid gold. Akane looked so cute, and she was super athletic to boot! Mariko thrust a pompom triumphantly out in front of her with her right hand, and Akane followed suit. Great. Now alternate between thrusting them to the side. Perfect.
Jump, knee lift, thrust pompoms to the side. Jump, alternate knee lift, thrust pompoms out in front and - Duck the pompoms flying across the room right for your face!
Mariko quirked an eyebrow, then looked between Akane and the large ball of thread. Like, uh huh! Akane was just standing there, staring at the handles in her hands for a moment before quickly putting those hands behind her back and putting on a really fake-looking smile. You know. The kind of smile someone puts on when they feel guilty about something but are trying just a little too hard not to show it? Yep. That was the look on Akane's face right now. She must've thrust her arms out like she was trying to do a punch, and done it so hard she broke the handle.
"Oops?" Akane offered when she realised Mariko had figured out what happened. Uh huh. Step one, then. Work on getting her to restrain her strength, or maybe get stronger equipment.
"No big deal!" Mariko pulled herself back onto her feet. Nope. No problem at all. "Let's try the baton instead!"
Thirty seconds later, the baton was resting neatly upright on top of Mariko's head. Uh huh! Right! This was... Super! Wonderful! So, in summary, Mariko had managed to find a girl who was strong, fast, athletic, pretty, cute and also the clumsiest person she had ever met.
One of these things is not like the other. One of these things doesn't belong.
"Oh gosh, are you alright?" Akane gasped.
"I'm O-K-A-Y!" Mariko cheered, oblivious to the fact that she could have spent a lot less time spelling that out. Hahaha, oh, Ranma! You sure did know how to pick them, didn't you? What a girl to fall for! However! How-ev-er! Mariko was a bud. Mariko was a pal. Mariko believed in L-O-V-E! "It just means I know what to focus on first to make you into, like, a totally super duper cheerleader martial artist!"
The lesson plan settled within Mariko's pretty little head rather naturally. There was no need to work on Akane's physical conditioning, since she had that down pat. No need to work on her looks or body language, since she seemed pretty solid there too. No. What Akane needed was something else. The most important part of martial arts cheerleading. A little thing called...
"So, I meant to ask," Mariko began, beaming so intensely that Akane slid into a defensive posture without seeming to notice she'd even done it. Oh, bad habits! It will be f-u-n breaking you. "How much do you remember from this morning?"
"Huh?" Akane asked. Ohoho! A little colour coming to those cheeks, was there? Mariko tossed the baton back. Akane caught it reflexively and looked away. "N-Nothing! I don't remember out of the ordinary. One minute I was standing by Ranma, the next I'm in front of him."
Heh. She hadn't even noticed, had she? Let's see how far we can press this. Right? Right! Mariko bounced and alternated high kicks with her legs, then began a new kind of chant, a rather more childish one. "Akane and Ranma, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
Aha! Akane demonstrated the meaning of her name quite well, didn't she? Was that anger, or embarrassment? Nope! Both at once! Aha!
"That didn't happen!" Akane protested, quite loudly. "That was just Ranma poking fun. As usual! The creep! Honestly, if you're just going to tease me like this then I'm out of here!"
"But why?" Mariko innocently asked. "Why give up when you're already mastering the baton?"
Dawning realisation seemed to hit her, and Akane looked at her hand. Spinning the baton around so fast it was just a blur. Her jaw dropped - and then the baton flew off, and landed on Mariko's head for the second time in as many minutes.
"You see?" Mariko. "You can do it! When you're not, you know, thinking about it and stuff. You're super good!"
Akane wilted back nervously, still a little bit emotionally shy from both her own clumsiness and the blatant denial of what she wanted. Hohoho! Lack of self confidence? Lack of belief? Didn't think she could do it? Who did she think she was dealing with here? The one thing cheerleaders are supposed to be good at is inspiring people to do things they think they can't do! Get them to push, like, just a little further. Find their limit and make it their b-i-t-c-h!
"You can do it! If you try!" Mariko cheered, baton still balanced on top of her head. "Akane Tendo, let cheers fly!"
"You really think I can do it?" she asked. Mariko nodded with great infectious, cheery enthusiasm. Yeppers! No doubt about it. All she'd need was just a little push in the right direction, but most importantly she needed to learn the one thing that cheerleaders need above all other things!
The special secret power that makes cheerleading work... And this girl was trying to pretend she didn't have it at all! The secret power known as....
<hr>
"Love is the power that makes martial arts cheerleading work," huffed a bunnygirl-outfit-clad girl, who was knitting away on a ball of wool. "You channel your love into the person you care for the most, and then..."
Tomiko looked down. She'd knit an image so accurate it might as well have been a photograph. On one side, her hated rival Mariko Konjo. On the other, that hated rival's gorgeous male form. The freshly completed square cloth was hurled into the air and then kicked hard into a nearby wall with a dazzling front kick, with Tomiko's hands rested defiantly on her wide hips. She glowered at it. Full of rage as opposed to love, and then after a long moment of intense silence she opened her mouth to express what she was feeling at that very moment.
"Ow!" she yelped, then slowly pulled her trembling hands away from her thighs. "Should... Have put... Needles down first!"
Ooh, that Mariko! She thought she was so pretty and special, just because she had a super-handsome best friend, fiance and cursed form! She had all the luck with all the boys, didn't she? Whereas Tomiko never got any L-O-V-E, even after finding her wonderful bunny costume.
She put the needles down and rubbed her sore hips, thinking about the battle she'd had with that irritating slut two weeks from tomorrow (actually about eight hours ago). Mariko had dumped her on the ground, left her in the tender care of that really nice girl who fed her cupcakes and tea, and made Tomiko lose complete track of time until she suddenly realised it was nearly nine at night (actually just gone ten to none) and she hadn't gotten any revenge on Mariko at all today!
Which rather led to her current slump. It was pretty clear to her that Mariko was still stronger than her, even in spite of this suit's enhancements. Worse yet she had two strong and cute friends, a couple who would probably back her up if things got dicey... And would probably not fall for her hip-hypnosis again any time in the near future.
"It's not fair!" Tomiko groused. She sat on the ground and began to furiously knit woollen weapons. "Love is the key weapon of any cheerleader, but I hate her! I hate her so much! How am I supposed to use love to beat her when all I feel is hate! Hate! Haaaate!"
"Um... Pardon me?" asked a rude, intrusive voice. Oooh! How dare he, whoever it was?! Tomiko turned around... And fell in love at first sight. Ah! So handsome! Strong, too, if that backpack was any indication. And that cute little fang protruding from the side of his mouth, totes adorable. Eeeh! In the half decade (actually half a second) that Tomiko had looked at this strange boy, she suddenly felt her heart swelling up with something she'd not really felt in a long, long time (actually last Wednesday when she saw Mariko's fiance). Love at first sight! "I was just wondering... Do you know where Furinkan High School is?"
"Sure I do," Tomiko said, rising to her feet. "By the way... Are you a martial artist?" The boy nodded. Tomiko turned around. "Perfect. Then follow me, handsome. I'll take you right to them."
And directly into the field of her ultimate revenge!
<hr>
Under normal conditions Ranma Saotome, upon being confronted with a delicious lunch, would normally scarf it down without a second thought. After his life defending himself from having his food stolen by Genma Saotome, after attending schools where lunchtimes were a literal battlefield, doing anything but immediately eating his lunch seemed like a bad idea. Yet there he was. Staring at it hesitantly, lifting it slowly to his mouth before reluctantly taking a big bite.
Ah, he nodded and broke out into a big grin. So it turned out that Akane hadn't slapped the taste out of his mouth after all! Hooray, he could still enjoy food!
Although that did rather make him think quite a bit about what happened this morning on the way to school. "Stupid tomboy," he groused to himself. "Stealing my friend over lunch, slapping me for something she did because she got herself hypnotised." He then returned to normal eating habits and tossed the rest of the sandwich into his mouth seemingly without a care in the world. "Nothing cute about that girl! Not one bit!"
Ranma chewed long, and he chewed like he was nursing a grudge. You know the stare. Furrowed brows, cheeks puffed up, back hunched, hand resting on his knee while sitting cross-legged on the ground. That's the look. It wasn't a good look for a young boy to have, but it was a look Ranma seemed determined to practise until he nailed it.
And why not? He hadn't done anything wrong! It was hardly his fault that the tomboy ki-kissed him while not under complete control of her faculties. Why, he'd even reassured her that he didn't enjoy it one little bit, and that just earned him a stomp on the foot! That girl was unfathomable!
Whoa, danger sense, time to flee!
"Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!"
Suddenly, a large hole appeared directly under where Ranma had been lying just a few seconds before. A boy about his age, size and musculature was bashing the tip of his umbrella into the ground, kicking up grass and soil. Ranma backflipped quickly away and got into a battle posture. Whoever this was, they meant business!
"Do I know you?" he asked. Lousy memory failing him again.
The boy stood up, menacingly patting his umbrella into his open palm. Right. Great. That snarl and that body language meant he was gonna get a real showdown over lunch today!
"Apparently he does," said a familiar voice. Suddenly, that bunnygirl bitch from this morning sauntered into view, rolling her grips and gripping onto the boy's arm. "Ryoga, sweetie, do me a favour and dismantle Mariko's friend for me?"
Oh, hell! This tough-looking guy's been completely taken under Tomiko's spell! And if Akane was able to become that competent a fighter while she was being influenced like this, how much of a threat could an unknown like Ryoga become?
- Luckily, Mariko and Akane arrive to give Ranma a boost.
- Actually, the above proves less than lucky.
- Mariko and Akane continue cheerleading training, oblivious to the fight.
- In the present, someone eats another fudge bunny, further altering events from the past.
- Something else
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