How had it come to this? Sitting in the girls' locker room, dressed in bloomers and a t-shirt, both a size smaller than she usually wore... Akane fidgeted, feeling more self conscious than she had ever felt in her entire life. It didn't help that the other girls were all dressed the same way and seemed much more comfortable, though it did rather beg the question of where the hell they'd even found this many ill-fitting clothes in the first place when -
"Alright, girls!" Yuka clapped. "This is it. This is our chance. Finally, we can get Akane into a stable, healthy relationship and get those boys to stop fighting her every morning!"
The other girls applauded, and for a moment Akane forgot how awkward she felt, genuinely touched by their compassion for her irritating predicament. She'd never known they were this worried about her. Listening to the passion in their applause made her feel more like one of the girls than she had the entire rest of the -
"That's right!" Sayuri called with equal enthusiasm. "Soon we'll be able to get a crack at those hunky athletes for ourselves! Woo!"
On the other hand maybe the girls at Furinkan were every bit the perverts as the guys. "This is a bad idea," Akane said, rising to leave. "We should all forget about this and -"
"Ranma Saotome, shirtless, chopping wood in a forest."
Yes, that's right... Walking through a forest, stumbling upon a campsite in the middle of nowhere. Ranma, male form, standing near a lake. He lifts his axe, allowing her to see his splendid, muscular and powerful form framed up against the picturesque backdrop. Sweat glistens on his body as he swings the axe down, neatly cleaving the wood in two with as much effort as breathing. He makes to swing again, but sees her and smiles. Then he's by her side before she can blink, and he's lifting her up with those big, powerful arms, gazing at her with those big, blue eyes of his and then, while one hand lifts her and the other gently squeezes her ass, he looks at her with an expression of unconcealed earthiness and asks -
"Akane, are you in there?"
"Nope. She's gone to her happy place. Damn, she has fallen <i>hard</i> for this boy."
A series of finger snaps in front of her face drew her, reluctantly, out of the fantasy just before the good bit happened. Nice mental vacation while it lasted, if only it had been a little longer.
"So, getting you laid," Yuka said, patting Akane on the shoulder. "Let's start by working out how much you know already. How would you go about seducing Ranma?"
"Show up naked in his room, pin him to the ground, work from there."
Woops! It took her a moment to realise exactly what she'd admitted to out loud, and oh boy did she ever turn beet red on the spot! It wasn't helped with the way the girls were looking at each other with quirked eyebrows, as if she'd said something completely wrong. As if? No, of course she had! Who says that sort of thing out loud in front of her peers! Give her a rock to go crawl under, she was done with this social life thing anyw-
"Well, that would work for some boys, I guess?" one of the girls suggested, Akane wasn't paying attention to which classmate it was because she was looking at the floor.
"Yes, but some boys might find that a little too aggressive," suggested another. "Some boys like to feel like they're the ones that seduced you, or maybe they like to be the ones in control..."
"While others like being seduced, or being controlled. Or may even sit in the middle ground, and have no preference either way."
... Yep, no question of it. The girls in Furinkan High School were actually bigger perverts than the boys. They were just better at hiding it most of the time. Oh lord, and now Akane could almost hear the chanting now. "Gooza goza, gooza goza, one of us, one of us..."
"Well, that's lesson one!" Sayuri called out over the chatter. "Boys like different things. Some love boobs, some love butts, some love legs, others adore waists or navels, others like bare shoulders... Different things work for different boys."
"That's right!" Yuki said. "They all have different weaknesses." Weaknesses? "Before you go on the attack, you have to figure out what it is that Ranma likes." Go on the attack? "Rushing in without a strategy is the worst thing you can do." Strategy?
"Oh! I get it now!" Akane said, thumping a fist into her open palm. "It's just like how jujitsu is good for developing devastating grappling skills and bad at developing striking techniques, while karate can help you develop strong and fast striking techniques but is far too linear and predictable to hold up against well-seasoned fighters!"
A hush fell over the room once again. It was as if the girls were all thinking, "Oh yeah, she's a martial artist first. Of course this was how she would think of it."
"In other words, all I need to do is work out this martial arts seduction style, and Ranma will be putty in my hands!"
"... Akane?" Sayuri said, tentatively. "We're friends, but there is... Something... Seriously wrong with the way you think."
"Fufufufu!" Akane laughed, cracking her knuckles ominously. "That's right, Ranma! Prepare yourself! I'll have this martial art mastered in no time at all, and then... Fufufufu!"
"I'm telling you, if you treat it like a martial art then -"
But it was already too late and they could all see it on her face. Akane had taken a dive down the rabbit hole, and there was no telling where her mind might take her now. The only thing that they were certain of was that, at the end of the day, these girls actually did feel a little bit bad for what they were about to unleash upon that handsome Ranma Saotome boy. It might well prove to be the cruelest thing anyone might do to him.
<hr>
Ranma had exactly one question right now: Where the hell had he been holding those flowers?
"Date me," Kuno said, quite insistently, thrusting the flowers at him.
"I'm not really a girl," Ranma replied, backing away with hands up. "See? I just changed back into a boy. This is what I'm really like, and -"
"Don't care. Date me."
Dammit, Nabiki! What the hell was that girl thinking, telling this idiot about the curse?! Ranma glanced over to give her a death glare... And found her with an easel, drawing out a rather intense yaoi scene between - Ew! What has been seen cannot be unseen!
"I'm already in a relationship!" Ranma insisted, then leaped over to put his fist through the abomination masquerading as art. "Me and Akane. All the way!"
"Oh?" Nabiki asked, coolly inspecting her fingernails. "I thought the two of you were just pretending to get the boys off her back. The two of you certainly don't seem to get on that well..."
"Nope!" Ranma laughed, his eye twitching while he backed away. This troublemaking girl! "She's great! She's fun! We get on great, we talk, we spar together and we're -"
"Going on a date tonight?" Nabiki suggested.
If Ranma clenched his jaw any tighter than this, then his teeth might implode. He looked between the two of them. Nabiki, whom he was starting to develop an intense dislike for. Feigning disinterest and trying to be aloof, above it all, while you just knew by looking that inside she was a witch, towering over a cauldron full of shit, cackling like mad while stirring it up.
Then there was Kuno. The idiot. Who had somehow located yet more flowers, was looking at him with big doe eyes and a quivering lip. And now he was undoing a few buttons on his shirt in an attempt to show off his chest a little more, making Ranma gag with mortification.
Which led to a dilemma on poor Ranma's part. On the one hand, go along with pretending to date Akane to try and get Kuno off both their backs. Which could mean getting forced into taking the engagement more seriously by their fathers. On the other hand, he could put up with Kuno's persistence until the idiot got the point.
"Date with me!"
Hrm, let's see now. Pretend to date a girl that was, if he was being honest rather than petulant, kinda pretty and had a few common interests with him. Or put up with being hit on by a guy. Balancing the scales like that didn't exactly make it seem very fair, did it?
- Ranma goes off to find Akane, who then attempts to use basic "seduction fu" on him.
- Ranma runs off to find Akane, discovers lessons and listens in.
- Akane continues her first lesson uninterrupted.
- Skip to later, after school.
- Something else
No comments:
Post a Comment