Story: Tainted Gestalt

Before all of this kicked off, Kyon thought of himself as a decent, grounded and perfectly ordinary young man. Not especially intelligent, but not an idiot either. The most interesting thing about him was a doofy nickname that he couldn't ever shake no matter how hard he tried. His interests were mundane and predictable for his demographic. His political views were "eh, I don't really know enough to care either way" and the only area where he really seemed to excel was, for some reason, games. Not athletic games. Nor computer games. Card games. Board games. Strategy games. He could trounce anyone he'd met in any of those kinds of games.

That being said. He was a perfectly ordinary young man. And when a woman that Taniguchi would surely rate an AA+ attempts to shift her position so that she's grinding her butt into the lap of an ordinary young man, well then, that young man is certainly going to have one kind of reaction or another.

Alright, that wasn't really fair. That made it sound as though Miss Narugesawa had suddenly decided to give him a lap dance, when the process was a little more drawn out than that. Kyon had prevented her from stripping off her jumper, which meant getting a good hold of her wrists. That was all. She pouted a little, and the sight alone was nearly enough to reduce his willpower to rubble.

"What you need to do is relax," Naru suggested, turning around and dragging Kyon's... Well, more like Keitaro's arms with her movement. He released her for a moment upon realising the closeness this caused, then grabbed her wrists in a blind panic when she again attempted to lift her jumper, giving him the slightest tease of lower back.

Hardly the most erotic location to view on an attractive young woman, but Kyon's only real complaints were: It was in public, he wasn't who she thought he was, and he was trying to figure out how in the hell he was going to handle Keitaro's upcoming exams for which he had absolutely no preparation. The last thing he needed was Naru pushing her butt right into his crotch and gyrating her hips in rhythm with the train making him forget something or other that would come to him in a moment. He was sure it would.

Then the train came to a screeching halt, throwing him and Naru up against a door, and please don't judge him too harshly for committing this moment to dearest memory. Any straight man in the same situation would absolutely behave the same way.

"Sorry," he said, feeling a little awkward. Only some of this was really his fault. Isn't it a terrible thing when you're having to try to clean up someone else's mess, and create a smaller one in the process? Well, at the very least the only thing he had to worry about was interfering in Keitaro's romantic plotline rather than something more dangerous, like whatever the others were probably going to get up to by the end of the day.

Strangely that didn't calm him down all that much. Nor did Naru's attempt to shimmy out of her skirt, which was really starting to attract some peculiar looks. He really should be trying to get away from this girl before things got rather embarrassing for the both of them, but... He didn't even know what stop he was supposed to get off at, what the layout of the building was or anything at all! Hmph. At least in a fight he'd know enough to run away and hide until he worked something out. In this situation he might ruin Keitaro's life simply by virtue of being there in the first place.

"It's nice that you have started dating the number one student in Japan -"

Which was, naturally enough, when a splash of cold water took him - now her - square in the face. Curiously his, or rather her height didn't seem to change all that much. Almost everything else, on the other hand...

"But maybe be... A little less... Intense in public? What?"

Kyon turned to the side. There was a pair of boys standing there staring slackjawed. Oh, dear. The smaller, more overweight one was holding an open bottle of water. The taller one had an expression that was undergoing the slow but inevitable transformation from amusement to total shock. And why shouldn't they be shocked? They had apparently just witnessed their close personal friend getting up close and personal with "the number one student in Japan" and then seen him transform into a babe as well.

"... I can explain?" Kyon weakly offered. At which point he realised he'd had his hands off Naru's wrists for more than twenty seconds, turned to his left and got a big faceful of boobage. "Ugh... I can't believe I have to do this, but... Everyone ignore anything strange about either of us! Got it?"

"Yes, your highness!" the train car called back in unison.

Well. Okay then. Maybe he wasn't a perfectly ordinary student after all. At the very least he had a comparatively easy out for most of his current problems. All he had to do was use this Geass power to impose a sense of normalcy upon the population, and everything would turn out right.

A fine theory to consider as the four of them got off the train. Although not quite so reliable as it first might appear. Because there was one occupant that did not reply with the others, and this one person watched very, very closely and then pulled out a cellphone to contact... Someone.

"It's worse than we thought," this person said. "First I saw them turn into a chick, and then they did something to the minds of everyone in the train. Whatever we're sensing from Keitaro Urashima is far more dangerous than we thought. This is a formal request for backup. Immediately."

<hr>
"Teacher? May I please leave for the bathroom?"

"Permission granted," the teacher said.

Keitaro let out a sigh of relief and scurried out of that classroom as quickly as Shinji's legs would carry him. He nearly tripped, but caught himself and kept right on going. Great. Just super! Wonderful, in fact. How many times did he have that nightmare about being called up in front of class with an erection before he stopped getting them at the drop of a hat? The one thing he needed right now was a bit of fresh air, which he could find more easily on the roof than the bathroom he was supposed to be heading towards.

And the sight of the city brought out two conflicting feelings the second he lay eyes upon it. Like Tokyo, yet also unlike it. It felt more advanced. He really had stepped into a science-fiction story. Utopia? Dystopia? Something in between? The backdrop against which Shinji Ikari piloted a giant robot to fight monsters and save the day. While the worst thing Keitaro had to worry about was -

"Exams!" he gasped. "Ah! Oh no! No, no, no! I can't be here right now! I have to get back to my own body, otherwise all that revision - All of that would be -"

"Your own body?"

Tears flowed freely down Shinji's cheeks, though it was of course Keitaro that cried them. Ah! How careless of him in a time of weakness. It was of course that girl Shinji was interested in. Because of course it was. The poor boy. He might have been shy, but he might have stood a better chance of getting a girlfriend without Keitaro's lousy luck with girls rubbing off on him.

He had to credit him for an interesting choice if nothing else. The girl was certainly pretty. The light-blue hair framed her face in a way that made her seem almost ethereal, and the neutral expression she wore kind of made Keitaro want to get her to crack a smile because he was certain she might actually turn out to be gorgeous if only she'd show a tiny speck of emotion...

"Who are you?" Rei Ayanami asked. Keitaro honestly expected the words "What have you done with Pilot Ikari" to follow that, but she just stood there silently staring at him. It was... Unnerving.

"Uh..." Keitaro began. Smooth. "I, ah, I'm -" As if he was silk. "I don't know what you're -"

And then it started to rain. Because of course it started to rain. Great! Just... Wonderful! Exactly what he needed at a time like this. The funny part was, he could feel himself getting a little bit taller. Not much, but definitely a little taller. Beyond that a mirror would be needed to assess the damage.

"Um... Could you please not tell anyone about this?" Keitaro meekly asked. Gosh, and he'd thought Shinji had a high-pitched voice before! Keitaro slapped tiny hands to, uh, her cheeks in a manner that was, quite accidentally, extremely feminine. "Ah, my voice! It sounds so bubbly and cute all of a sudden! Oh, this is terrible. There's no way I can pass this off as normal!"

Rei then turned around and went back down the stairs. Oh, no! Keitaro gave immediate chase. She couldn't tell anyone about this! "Please, wait!" Keitaro called out, reaching out for her and tripping at the last moment. And then Rei twisted around -

"Breasts," Rei concluded. Somehow she had managed to land on top, and was pinning Keitaro down by, ahem, 'her' chest. "These appear to be breasts."

"Yes, they do!" Keitaro agreed, wincing a little because it turned out that they were rather sensitive. "Um, please don't squeeze them like that... And don't tell anyone about them either!"

"It is my duty to report all of this to the Commander."

"I know, I know! But - But doesn't Shinji deserve better than being treated like a lab rat for the rest of his life? He should be allowed to be happy too, you know?"

She released her death grip on Keitaro's chest, and the two of them got up to their feet. Strange thing was, even though she was completely dispassionate, it left this strange feeling that, well, she was definitely interested in something. Weird how he had that impression out of nothing.

Then again he did get some confirmation shortly thereafter when she inexplicably grabbed Keitaro's hand and put it against her own breast. Holding it fast in place with a remarkable amount of strength that didn't seem to budge an inch.

"I fail to see why this was uncomfortable," Rei said in a slightly questioning tone. She then used her spare hand to, ahem, cop another feel, much to Keitaro's remarkable discomfort. Two separate reasons to be uncomfortable, actually: The first was that Shinji was the one interested in Rei, not him! The second was best described as the "I have boobs?" problem. Neither of these were situations he had the remotest piece of experience in knowing how to deal with!

It seemed impossible. For mister dateless, no hope prospect for a girlfriend. Keitaro now had a kind of weirdly cute girl apparently interested, and was even being compelled to cop a quick feel. Trouble was? All Keitaro could think about just now was how much simpler and less stressful everything would be if only he were sitting his exams right now!

<hr>
So it turned out that Keitaro and Naru shared every single class, hence every single exam, and that by pure dumb luck they kept on choosing to sit next to one another. Naturally, he had tried to address the dual problems of Naru and his own lack of knowing even some of the fundamentals of the classes he was attending during the course of the first exam.

"Pardon me, everyone," he had said to them all, rising to his feet. "But please ignore anything strange that either of us do. Thank you."

And then he'd spent half of his time struggling to make sure that Naru kept her top on for the duration of the exam. This seemed like a subpar stratagem, so for once in his life Kyon decided that he would listen to a voice he didn't usually listen to, with a certain redhead's extremely fit body acting as an effective convincer.

That's why Naru was currently sitting naked in his lap with her jumper over her head, twirling it around with one hand while the other filled in her exam. Sure, he was probably going to catch it from Keitaro later on for enjoying the show and sure, he'd feel extremely guilty about it later on. Forgive him, Miss Narusegawa, for his sin was not lust but rather sloth.

Still. This was the only way that he would stand the remotest chance of passing the exams that Keitaro was supposed to sit. Cheating his balls off. Which was also making him feel guilty, but he was trying at least to be careful about it. A score that's too high would get noticed. Which meant he had to balance it out between getting enough right for a passing grade without doing so absurdly well that anyone would notice something amiss right away.

Just to be on the safe side he should also probably try to use this power on the higher up faculty to smooth over any possible allegations of cheating. It would be a scummy thing to do, but to hell with it. This might provide Keitaro with even more motivation to actually properly revise!

As to Naru's perspective of these events, she was pretty certain there was something more about Keitaro (the boy she was dry humping while the two of them were in the middle of an exam) than first met the eye. The way he'd gotten everyone in the train to agree nothing weird was going on... The way it really looked like he was cheating, except nobody else seemed to pay it any mind at all? He very obviously looked away from her bare chest, so she tugged him right into it face first with a deep, deep scowl. What was his deal? The turning-into-a-girl thing was super weird and kind of perverted, but what if he had other strange things about him that he hadn't admitted to yet? His face came out, took a deep breath. His glasses had stuck into her breasts. Kind of a shame if he was a freak, then. Because without his glasses he was really... Really... Cute.

Cute? This guy? No way! Stop thinking like that and just concentrate on the only two things that matter. Flaunting her body to him and acing this exam, that's all that she cared about.

Of course, neither realised something else was about to be added to that list very, very soon.

<hr>
And now he was kissing her. She was kissing her. Gender pronouns were proving a difficult thing to master when under the effect of a Jusenkyo curse, and come to it so were any words connected to sexuality in general. Was Keitaro a lesbian because she was enjoying the kiss? What about Rei? Actually, what about Rei? Why was she all of a sudden exploring these intense sexual urges with someone she acknowledged and had confirmed was the mind of a stranger occupying the body of a boy she barely knew anyway which had transformed into a girl because they were standing in the rain.

When did his life become so convoluted?!

The cute, stoic girl then gently backed away. Which was remarkable given that it was her strength that had pulled him/her into the kiss in the first place. Even more remarkable was that her face was completely and totally neutral. As if nothing had happened in the first place.

"Why did I do that?" she quietly asked. Now, that might imply some level of concern on her part, that she was being quiet out of shyness or fear or anger or something. Instead: No emotion. She was like a teacher requesting a fact instead of anything else. "Please explain."

"I... Don't know what you mean," Keitaro replied. "I mean, one minute you were were making me grope you while you also groped me, and then you suddenly grabbed my shoulders and -"

And kissed him sort of like that. Not quite as long as before, but there was a little taste of tongue in there this time. Keitaro could hardly help from giggling a little when their lips parted this time. A girl kissed him twice! While he was also a girl, but that counted! Right?

"You are not Pilot Ikari," Rei said, reserved as ever. "Identify yourself."

"K-Keitaro Urashima," he admitted sheepishly. "Um, this is a little difficult to explain, but there are kind of... Eight of us connected together in some kind of gestalt entity that traverses the multiverse, and we occasionally share thoughts and feelings with each other while other times we switch minds!" He paused for breath. "I'm a girl right now because one of them, Ranma, has a curse that does this. Two of the others also have special powers we can all access and... P-Please don't tell anyone."

"This constitutes a significant security risk," Rei said. She sniffed the air. "And you are producing pheromones that provoke a subtle attraction. This makes your intentions and your motivations extremely suspicious."

Keitaro turned around and sighed a little trace wearily. He had to end this quickly so he could find some hot water and get back to class before anyone missed them. "The truth is, we all feel really bad for Shinji. He's so lonely and timid, and then he gets all this responsibility dumped on him. The last thing that poor boy needs now is - What was that about pheromones?"

"You are producing them at an abnormal level," Rei said, sniffing the air. "Based on my own reaction, it seems logical to conclude their effects are intended towards mating. This makes it possible your existence is a long-term attack by Angels or others intending to make use of sexual domination to take over."

"No way, you're misunderstanding!" Keitaro yelled, spinning around and - And she wasn't there. Disappeared? Where had she - Huh?! "Rei? It's not like that! I promise, we're not trying to... Attack you with sex? I mean, that's kind of a silly idea, right?"

"Not really?" said that voice behind her. A pair of strong hands sneaked up to grab Keitaro by the cursed form's boobs and gave a very, very thorough squeeze. The feeling of breathing against the right ear brought these feelings to the point where Keitaro's legs buckled, and a funny feeling swelled up deep inside. "I would think it sounds like a really good idea."

"R-Rei, let go of me!" Keitaro gasped.

"I cannot do that."

"Why not?"


"Because I can't let go of you... If I'm not here in the first place."

A sharp intake of breath later and Keitaro was all alone on the rooftop. Kneeling in the rain. Clutching his/her chest and wondering just exactly what the hell happened there. And probably more importantly, what he was going to do next?

<hr>
It was morning. The bathroom door was locked. Usagi Tsukino was standing in front of a mirror. And she had learned a vital, crucial fact about her cursed form's body. Then again, she didn't exactly see it as a curse because hello, stud! Hardly the point though. The real point was, she had learned to her utter, utter delight (and Luna's utter dismay) that her pecs could dance.

"Could you please not?" Luna quietly asked. "It was already disturbing enough seeing you switch gender; I don't want to see you preening over this form that isn't really yours."

"Spoilsport," Usagi grunted back. She stepped into the shower, felt the hot water add a few more rather delightful curves to her more slender form, and asked, "What would happen if I tried to become Sailor Moon while in my male form?"

"Good question!" Luna replied, sounding genuinely surprised. "In the event you cannot find hot water in an emergency situation, this curse could potentially cause tactical problems. If only Mercury were here, she would probably be able to work something out."

"Smart or something, was she?"

"Oh, yes! Absolutely. Mercury was always known for her intelligence and analytical ability. If anyone could figure out a way to deal with this problem, it would have to be her."

That was great. That was good. The two of them could have a discreet conversation about the matter on the way to school: How they might find her, how they might identify her, a couple little questions some of the others had sent her way. Honestly, the kind of thing she'd never have thought of -

Problem was that she was, suddenly and quite without warning, balancing on top of a fence. Arms waved out, balance was struggled for but easily escaped, and the next thing Usagi knew she was being held in the arms of a super, super-cute chick with long, bluish hair.

"That's what you get for trying to show off," the girl said, and a name came to Usagi pretty quickly. Akane. "Maybe you'll try walking on the pavement from now on?"

"Walking to school next to a cute girl?" Usagi said. Now her thinking was shifting gears a little bit. Ranma liked this girl. Obviously. It was as clear as day. Ranma didn't know how to express that he liked this girl. Enter matchmaker Usagi, who would have this problem sorted out in no time flat! Huzzah! "Like a dream come true."

"Don't give me that sarcasm," Akane said, turning up her nose and continuing to walk off. "I remember last night, mister ungrateful. After I helped you out and everything!"

Okay, not the response Usagi was expecting. Still: She was hardly going to back off now. Ranma's body was easily able to keep pace, so Usagi had it do so.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said. "I was tired, I was in a bad mood." No response. "Listen, I'm being serious. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I'd really like to -"

She sharply elbowed him in the gut. "What are you doing?" she asked, nodding slightly backwards. Behind them, a panda ducked behind a bush. "You trying to get us married, you idiot? Our dads are desperate for the slightest sign, and here you are being all... I mean..."

Huh? That blush...? Ohohoho! She already did like him too! They were so adorable! Aw, wow. They'd make such a cute couple, these two! Usagi nodded in understanding, and winked at her.

"Ugh, so you saw through it after all?" she loudly proclaimed. "What kinda guy would want a violent chick like you, huh? Getting married? Forget it! We're not suited for each other at all."

"Hrm!" Up goes the nose, and now they could continue walking to school in silence. Gee, what a mess. It was so obvious. The two of them were practically out of a storybook. It was like putting two pieces of a jigsaw together. They fit so well, it made her want to sigh in contentment. Ranma was a handsome boy. A bit rough around the edges, but very easy on the eyes. As for Akane, she was hardly any slouch either. Similar interests, similar but distinct personalities. Cute face, figure was maybe a little above average but hardly anything to say no to.

Which was right about the moment Usagi realised she was becoming aroused over Ranma's choice in women. Huh. That was a little...

"We're just about at school," Akane suddenly said, picking up the pace. "I should probably warn you to hang back a little."

"Hang back?" Usagi asked. "Why would - Is that a bunch of athletic men running towards us at high speed?"

"It is."

So she wasn't dreaming, then. What a pleasant gift for her to enjoy and - Ah! Wait, she was male right now! Those athletes probably wanted to beat them up, not... Have fun. Huh. That was a weirdly perverted thing for her to think about just now, wasn't -

"Akane Tendo! You will date me!"

"No, me!"

"No, me!"

"No, I!"

A few shot that last one a sideways glance. "Well, I wanted to at least stand out a little, she's hardly going to remember or notice any of you others for shouting the same exact thing."

"I'm not going to remember a single solitary one of you!" Akane yelled, bowling into the mass of boys like a wrecking ball. Adorned with spikes. Leaving Usagi in Ranma's body with little to do but hang back watching from the entrance, fidgeting a little as the sight prompted a rather inexplicable erection.

"You sure do know how to pick 'em," Usagi mused. "I wonder which of the others Ranma's in just now?"

He's in Ataru, who was trying to apologise to Shinobu.
He's in Kyon, who was being pulled into a conversation with Ryoko
He's in Usagi, who was just with Luna in the bathroom.
Never mind him, where's Ataru?
Never mind either of those two, Tsukune's in one of the above.
Something else