Sunday, 29 November 2015

Story: SBO Naruto


Naruto SBO
How irritating. He was supposed to be meeting up with Naruto to discuss an upcoming mission. He was supposed to be going over the plans in detail, so that the hyperactive pest could have some understanding of what he would be doing and why. And then he doesn't show up. Shikamaru scratched his back while strolling down the street. He'd heard from the others that Naruto had been behaving weirdly recently. Which probably meant there was something going on that he was trying to deal with by himself, which meant that Shikamaru would have to use his so called "genius" to figure out what it was and then sort it out.

"Pain in the neck," he yawned as he reached Naruto's front door. "Whatever his issue is, it had better be... Good?"

Well. That was a lot more Hyuuga flesh than he'd hoped to see at once. Even though he couldn't quite see everything, it was pretty obvious that Hinata had finally gotten the courage to get what everyone in the village knew she wanted, but didn't bother bringing up to her because he's an idiot and she's so shy that giving her advice might make her burst into flames.

So, while Hinata's bright red face turned very slowly towards him Shikamaru simply closed the door and whistled. "Damn," he said, tapping his foot. "Even I think the guy's kinda lucky scoring that. Kinda go more for blondes myself..."

Well, this left him with a rough choice. Let the guy finish getting his dick wet, or try to force him to be a professional ninja. Well... In the case of the latter he'd probably be a bit blue balled, which might make it a little difficult to concentrate. Not to mention that Hinata might "accidentally" demonstrate the Hyuuga's specialised martial arts on him. Shut down a few organs by accidentally brushing up against him in a crowd. Maybe make his own testicles swell up from chakra buildup...

You know what? He was just gonna walk away and let those two crazy kids get their freak on. At the very least he could tell a couple other people to back off Naruto for a bit while he and Hinata got it all out of their system. Good lord! The way Naruto was, and the way Hinata had been crushing on him for years they might not leave that bed for a solid week.

"W- Wait! Shikamaru!" Naruto suddenly said. Fully clothed already? That was quick. "Hey, come on now! Don't go yet! You came all this way to say hi, right?"

"Ah, well you seemed to be busy. I didn't want to interrupt the happy couple."

"Hahaha! No interruption!" Naruto slapped him on the back. Oof! "Right Hinata? It's no trouble, right?"

Hinata was standing in the doorway wearing little more than one of Naruto's jackets. Those milky white eyes were staring at him. Through him. Probably seeing where all the nice juicy organs were. Working out the way to inflict maximum pain. That smile on her lips almost seemed forced. You didn't need to be a genius to know that leaving right now was probably the most sensible thing you could possibly do.

"Oh, no. I'd just be a third wheel," Shikamaru said. But then a pair of Naruto's poofed into existence on either side of him, grabbed him by the arms and pulled him back inside the house. "Really, there's no need to be so forceful about it. We can do this later when you're not so -"

The door closed and somehow sounded like a vault slamming shut. Nothing else for it but to accept his fate, so Shikamaru sat down. Hinata slid up next to him and smiled right in his face. "Would you like some teeeeea?" she asked, showing a mouth full of teeth with her smile.

Gosh but his throat was dry all of a sudden. Shikamaru politely shook his head, but didn't actually take his eyes off her for a moment. Careful now. Don't show how afraid you are. The way she is right now she'd probably eat you alive at the first sign of weakness.

"So, how long have the two of you been an item?" Shikamaru asked. Might as well break the ice a little. "I'll be honest, it's about time. Anyone can see you're a pretty good fit."

"Oh, about a week now!" Hinata lied. She lied right to his face. He couldn't help but see it. Everyone has a tell, and Hinata's was that thing she did with her fingers. Pressing them up against each other like that. End to end. "P-Please don't tell anyone. We're trying to keep it a secret for now."

Ah, dammit. Now his interest was peaked. That was the trouble with being a genius. You notice little things like that and then you can't leave it alone. Like a loose thread on a jacket, you just have to tug it and pull it until you have a great big hole in it.

The other weird thing was that Naruto was going along with it. Forcing himself to smile and nervously putting his hands on Hinata's shoulders. Considering where his hands had been a few minutes ago, touching her shoulder shouldn't be any kind of worry at all.

"Never mind us," Naruto said. "What can we do for you?"

"We were supposed to meet up," Shikamaru said, looking him over carefully, but trying to make it seem as though he was merely pissed off with him. "To discuss tactics? For that upcoming mission? Remember?"

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said, throwing up his other hand to the back of his head while Hinata nuzzled up into his chest. Gosh, she really was more confident, wasn't she? She hadn't even tried to put panties on. Not that Shikamaru had noticed that for very long before deliberately averting his gaze to a more appropriate location. Like that doof's face. "I completely forgot! Slipped my mind for some reason! Hahaha!"

"Well, young couples are rather like that," Shikamaru said. "Must be nice having such a cute girlfriend. No wonder you didn't want to tell anyone the two of you were dating. You'd be the talk of the village."

"The talk of the village..." Naruto said, turning completely pale. Now, that was really bizarre! Naruto didn't want attention? Impossible! He was the kind of person that thrived on attention!

"Well, this has been fun and all," Shikamaru yawned. "But I think we'd all feel better if you got dressed, then came and met me like you were supposed to. Try to keep better track of time in future. Okay?" He got up to his feet. "Oh and Hinata, don't wear him out too much okay? I know he's got great stamina but... I should stop talking. Never mind."

"Sounds good!" Hinata cheerily said, and all of a sudden he was being pushed out the front door. "Bye bye, he'll be along in a few hours don't wait up!"

Door locked, lock clicked, and that was probably the sound of various pieces of furniture being piled up against the door, with a weird uncharacteristic giggle echoing through from the other side.

"I don't have the faintest idea what's wrong here," Shikamaru humphed. "But... It definitely looks like Naruto's in some kind of trouble in there. That expression on his face when I said I had to go. He didn't want me to leave no matter what! If it hadn't been for Hinata, he'd have dragged me back inside."

It didn't seem likely that Hinata was blackmailing him or anything. That didn't suit her character. Maybe some kind of weird ninja technique was affecting them? He'd seen all sorts. Hell, his shadow manipulation was pretty scary if you didn't know about it. Maybe that was it? But what sort of technique could spook Naruto so much and make him and Hinata both act so out of character?

"This really is the curse of the genius," he sighed, sticking a finger in his ear and twisting it around. "You spot a loose thread and you just gotta pull it..."

<hr>
You know what's a really bad place to try and find some privacy? A library. You know what's a bad place to try and get some blazing hot action with a fellow bimbo? Yep, still a library. Do you know where Neji was right now? Definitely a library.

He'd just been minding his own business. Putting a book back in a shelf. Then he'd heard a noise in the next aisle over. Now, normally he wouldn't be interested in something like that, but it was a rather unusual noise that he'd never actually heard before. So, he did what any ninja might do. He had a look to see for himself.

The inherited skill of the Byakugan was a tremendous benefit to the Hyuuga family, without question. Neji tried not to use it to pry on the privacy of his allies, but otherwise he felt it was fair game to use as he wished. Responsible use is a cornerstone of the ninja philosophy, but since this was a public place and he wouldn't be viewing anything that wasn't in public anyway who really cared if he saved a small amount of time and watched - Was that Sakura on top of Lee?

He cut it off immediately before he could see anything else. What? And furthermore, what?! The veins in his head bulged even more prominently than when he used his Byakugan, as he struggled to comprehend what he saw. It had better not have included Lee's penis! Swear to all of the gods, if he had seen that he may take his own eyes out now for betraying him so!

But still, back on point. Sakura? And Lee? That was a one sided interest if there had ever been such a thing! Even if romance did bloom the possibility of those two doing anything so irresponsible in a public place was next to nothing. Neither of their personalities fit that kind of behaviour!

If they continued then someone else might stumble upon them. Someone with a dimmer view of such public acts than himself. Therefore, as a friend, he had a duty to walk into that aisle and calm them down. Make them find a more private place to continue. Perhaps while he was at it he could make certain that they were both in the right state of mind and were not being influenced by, for example, a Genjutsu. If it was then it would be by far the most perverted Genjutsu he had ever encountered.

"There's no point in stalling," Neji sniffed. "Brace yourself, Neji! This won't be nice. It won't be easy. Yet a ninja's life is full of hardships and tasks they might find uncomfortable."


  1. Shikamaru sneaks in through the backdoor and discovers the book.
  2. Shikamaru goes away to get help with his investigation.
  3. Neji gets bimbofied immediately when Lee blurts something out.
  4. Sakura is able to keep the situation under control long enough to ask Neji for help investigating this.
  5. Something else

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