It was a rare thing to see Shinji smiling. As in, really genuinely actually smiling. He was in a bit of a stressful period of his life right now, what with the Angels attacking and piloting Unit 01 and having the whole weight of humanity thrust upon his shoulders. However, having said this: Nothing will get a young man to smile like seeing two cute girls of his own age group getting all hot and bothered.
<b>End you! I will... Ooh! I will end you as soon as I get the chance to wrap my hands around your scrawny neck!</b>
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather wrap your hands around something else?" Shinji asked aloud. Of course, he knew already that the answer was yes, very much thank you but Asuka, being Asuka was far too proud to concede the point. Any point, really. The biggest danger she was likely to put him in at this point was dehydration. Lucky for him the tap water had such a good filter so he could drink as much as he needed.
<u>Fascinating. There appears to be no rational reason for men to find two women being intimate arousing. Yet they do.</u> Ooh boy, now Rei was running her hands down the inside of her thighs. The fact he could feel Asuka gulping too made the experience even hotter.
So on the whole he had every single reason to be happy and content right now. He was sharing brainspace with a genius, and was getting two very private peepshows from a pair of girls that actually very much already wanted to have sex with him, and he could feel their desire for that event growing with each passing moment. What straight young man wouldn't be happy in a situation like that one?
Well, the kind of straight young man he was before this happened probably would be panicked a little bit, but.. Hell he must be getting some of Asuka's confidence or Rei's... Uh... Calmness? How could it get any better than this?
There was a knock at the door.
<hr>
Stop me if you heard this one. Two idiots knocked on a door. Another idiot answered, stared at the two of them and said "Oh, hey guys. Um... How's it going?"
"Shinji, Shinji!" Kensuke tutted. "Missing school? Spending some time with your fellow pilots and the beautiful, stunning, gorgeous Misato? Without inviting us? How terrible!"
"I was just worried something was wrong," Toji said, rolling his eyes a little at his good buddy's blatant perversion. Though to be honest seeing Misato Katsuragi's fine, fine figure was hardly the kind of thing he'd say no to seeing again.
"Well, as you can see nothing is wrong," Shinji said. "And the others are out just now, so I'll probably see you tomorrow, and -"
"Woah there! You're all by your lonesome?" Kensuke interrupted. The bespectacled military otaku then tsked, wagged his finger and pushed his way inside. "That's no way for a healthy boy to spend his spare time. You should be interacting with your buddies in a time like this, and oh do we have something you're gonna love!"
"... Don't tell me you brought those here," Toji said. His face rested quite comfortably in his palm, and why not? After knowing Kensuke so long his face had almost worn a nice groove in there. "What if the others show up while we're showing him?"
"Ah, don't worry!" Kensuke said with a rather carefree shrug. "I'm an expert at gathering up pictures of half-naked girls! Asuka will never know we got those pictures of her only redeeming feature, hehe!"
Huh. Funny. All of a sudden it felt, so far as Toji could tell, that there was a distinct aura of death and despair filling up the room. Directed right at the pair of them. From Shinji, of all people.
"Maybe it would be a bad idea to see those pictures," Shinji said, though for some reason his expression gave off the idea that he'd actually quite like to see them. Somehow Toji felt like maybe they should talk about something else, but Kensuke was already fanning them out on the table while little puffs of perverted steam were puffing right out of his perverted nose.
"Here they are!" Kensuke said. "The forbidden pictures that will make your heart burst into flame!"
"Oh?" Shinji said, picking one of the pictures up. "Why, this seems to be a picture of her and Rei at the pool. In swimsuits." He chucked the picture over his shoulder. "Feh, that's nothing! I've seen her in the nu-"
He slapped his hand over his mouth, but the moment was long since passed. Sure. Neither Toji nor Kensuke thought much of Asuka's personality. She's abrasive, she's harsh, she's an outright bitch, her temper is brutal, her arrogance unparalleled and her presence intolerable. However. That didn't change the fact that she was kind of a babe. Hence their preference for the pictures.
"Oh really?" Kensuke said, getting close to Shinji and patting him on the shoulder. And even though Toji was trying to pretend to be the more mature one, he sidled up to Shinji's other side and watched him very, very attentively. "You've seen more of that exotic half-European, have you? Lived to tell the tale, hrm?"
"Well, to be honest she's way hotter in the plugsuit than a swimsuit," Shinji said, then slapped his hand back over his mouth again. "You can see <i>every detail</i> of that cute little butt of hers!" he muffled around his hand, and then turned bright, bright red. Sort of like a certain plugsuit.
"Ohoho?" Kensuke cackled. "Why don't you tell us all about it?" he said, gently pulling Shinji's arm away from his mouth. "All about that cute little butt of hers?"
"It's like a big juicy apple!" Shinji said, his right eye twitching and wide. "And I want to bite it with a big nomf, nomf nomf! Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom!"
And off he strode, with a stiff armed march that seemed completely unlike him. His two friends watched him go, and as soon as he was out of sight, Kensuke leaned in towards Toji and whispered the words "Lucky bastard! Keeping that from us..."
"Feh, what was he gonna do?" Toji whispered back. "Take pictures? That demon would've torn him to pieces the second she noticed."
"It would have been a cause worth dying for!"
You know, Toji opened his mouth, considered that for a moment, then closed it again and solemnly nodded. Truly, it would have been a memorable service that would have etched his name into the annals of history.
<hr>
In the bathroom, Shinji splashed water on his face and fought down the most powerful erection he could remember having by sheer force of will. Not all of it his. Oh god! This was awful! This was terrible! This was unimaginable! And the worst part of all was...
<b> Rei! What the hell was that? My butt's a big juicy apple?! Well, I mean... It is nice and all, but coming from you that seemed a little much!</b>
<u>Why? Whenever we are getting changed and you would walk out of that room with your hands on your hips and that confident swagger, I had the impression you were attempting to draw my attention towards your splendid, fit and shapely example of the human gluteus -"
<i>Oh god, the pair of you stop!</i> At this rate his dick might explode!
<b>W-well, maybe we could stand to hear a little more... Not be-because I want Rei looking at me like that, it's just nice to hear her complimenting me for how amazing I am!</b>
Yeah, sure. That tsundere routine was really effective when they were... Nnng, scratch the sarcasm, it actually was kind of working for him. He could sort of see her standing there, clasping her hands together and putting her head down while her eyes were looking upwards and - Ah! Oh no, this wasn't going to go away, was it? Between Asuka being tsundere and Rei revealing her bisexual tendencies... ooh boy, so hot! At this point he wasn't even sure jerking off would help because - Ah! Then they would get horny and start the cycle all over again!
Think, Asuka. Come on. You're the smart one, right? Get them all out of this hole we're in right now! Use that sexy brain of yours to make us resist your sexy body!
- "You're in the bathroom. Cold shower time!"
- "If all three of us climax at once, that should do it."
- "We switch control. I'll take over your body while you take over mine."
- "Imagine us wearing unsexy outfits. Like nuns. Those aren't sexy, right?"
- "Suffer, bitch."
- Something else
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