Story: Creeping Perversion

"For the last time, I am not a pervert!"

So it was a week later and, to Ranma's great regret, hijinks had tracked him down once again. In this particular instance the form his destroyer had adopted was an irate busty young women riding atop a large bronze statue that she was inexplicably manipulating with her mind.

"Do not tell such blatant lies!" the woman sternly warned. The statue sent its heavy bronze fist colliding into the pavement with a terrible *thud!* "I track down my missing underwear to your abode, and discover a young man that transforms into a young woman! Who else might the culprit be? That diminutive elderly man, perhaps? The one eating a cupcake and waving at us?"

Ranma scowled out of the corner of his eye at the old freak, but dared not take his eyes off this monster for a second. So, this thing was too heavy for him to do anything to. His hardest punch just hurt his hand. It was too slow to draw into a spiral but fast enough to keep its operator safe when he went for the attack.

"You might as well surrender," the woman declared. "Give me back my stolen undergarments, and then if you would, mister pervert, please kill yourself."

"Lady, your sales pitch needs some work! And for the last time, I am not a -"

Then, quite without warning, the statue stopped in its tracks. There was a sound like something trickling, and to Ranma's disbelief a strange liquid had begun to pool underneath the statue. Ranma's first thought was "Ew," and then his second thought was said aloud: "Akane?"

"Hi there, don't mind me!" Akane said. "I didn't do anything important, oh no. I certainly wasn't helpful or anything to the big, tough supposed martial arts genius that apparently doesn't know anything at all about Greek mythology..."

You know, this thing had been building up inside him all week. Whenever Akane indulged in sarcasm he felt this weird pleasant tingling sensation shoot all the way through his body. At first he wasn't sure what it was, but right now he was pretty sure he just wanted to sex her. Or for her to sex him. Or maybe if they sex each other it would all work out well.

"Oh, and you're the big expert?" Ranma asked before he could stop himself. Ah! You're supposed to stop doing that, but she makes it so easy! "What does geek psychology have to do with anything anyway?"

"Actually, it's Greek mythology," Nabiki said, stepping up behind him while coolly inspecting her nails. "It just so happens that I let slip there might be a way for Akane to show you up, and she jumped at it like you want to jump her."

"Nabiki!"

"You paid for me to tell you about Talos and the ichor vein keeping him animated," Nabiki said. She fanned out the notes Akane must have passed over in payment. "You didn't pay for silence."

"Ooooh! You demons!" the woman on the statue sniffed. "I won't soon forget this! I won't, I won't, I won't! I'll bring other statues to fight you and pound you, and then you'll be sorry! Pervert!"

Oh, good. So he had that to look forward to. Sounded like fun. Maybe now he could continue on his way to school without having to worry about being smashed into paste? He hopped up on the fence and looked down at the two sisters. Nabiki being her usual cool yet also kinda hot self while Akane was her usual pretty tomboyish, huffish self.

Which naturally led to an image passing through his mind of the two of them in bed with him which might not have actually happened in reality, but he'd like it to, and it was definitely something worth storing away for later use.

"Thanks for helping me out," Ranma idly said. "That thing was a real handful."

"H-Huh?" Akane said in surprise. Yeah, he thought that might throw her off. "It wasn't much. I just found the plug for its ixor vein -"

"Ichor," Nabiki corrected.

"- Then got out of its way when it all trickled out. It- It's not like I did it to help you out. That thing was causing a lot of property damage and might have really hurt someone!"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "Me!" He hopped off the fence and got right into her path. "Can't you just admit you wanted to help me out? I think we've known each other long enough, right?"

"Fine, I wanted to help you out," Akane admitted. Good lord but she was so cute when she was like this. "So what? Big deal, I saw an idiot in trouble and I wanted to help him. That woman was so rude as well, calling you a pervert for basically no reason!"

"Sounds familiar."

Ooh, boy. That look she gave him would keep him awake for nights to come. It was the kind of expression that could transform the most hardcore sadist into the world's most needy masochist. Ranma actually caught himself shuddering a little from that. If he ever got Akane into the bedroom, they absolutely had to bring whips, leather and... Other things that he would research later on that he never used to find interesting at all.

"You've been acting really weird lately," Akane said. "It's not like you to say thank you for things when you could be busy taking credit, or ignoring people that helped you out so you can celebrate."

"Since when do I do that?"

Nabiki coughed and brought out a notebook. Then put on a pair of glasses that were immediately added to the earlier image he'd stored away, took a big deep breath - And then Ranma threw money at her while saying "For your silence!" until she shut up.

"W-Well, maybe I'm growing up a little! Did you ever think of that?"

"You? Growing up? That sounds like something I'd like to see. A mature Ranma Saotome. What would that look like? Hrm? How would you behave?"

It had been building and building all week ever since the date. Ever since he'd acknowledged it. That he wanted his first time to be with Akane. That he wanted her. That everything about her made him hard (or wet depending on gender). Her smile, her scowl, every step, every breath, every punch, kick, word she spoke or yelled made him want her.

Which is why he slid across to the side and put his hands on either side of her head, resting the palms against the fence. Effectively pinning Akane in between his arms. She stared at him in shock, then a touch of anger. He stared back with double that intensity, and Akane's expression turned more concerned. Yet she didn't make a move to hit him.

"If you knew how much I wanted to kiss you right now," he said, leaning in slightly. "You'd just be a puddle on the ground."

"R-Ranma..."

"My camera!" Nabiki cried behind them, furiously searching through her bag. "Where in blazes is my camera?!"

Ranma leaned in closer, closer. Savouring the moment. Never breaking eye contact with Akane as he leaned in. For a moment he thought she might knee him, punch him, kick him or maybe even headbutt him. Instead she was like a deer caught in the headlights. Letting him get closer and closer until he moved his lips past her head, taking great care not to touch her at all, and then whispered three little words into her ear.

"Uncute, sexless tomboy!"

Ah, so it turned out that she would do all four in quick succession, leaving him a crumpled heap on the pavement while she huffed off and Nabiki strode past in a more aloof manner. Either way. Even though he couldn't see much, the view from down here was still tremendous.

And it gave Ranma a chance to really think. He'd been so close. So close! All he had to do was seal the deal and she'd - Well, it was hard to imagine Akane Tendo being putty in anyone's hands, but at the very least it would be a step closer to banging each other stupid! Ugh, did he just think that? Man, that seemed like kind of a crass way to think about it. What was wrong with him lately?

"Ranma, my boy!" Happosai said, hopping across with transparent implike glee. It fit his appearance rather too well. "It is times like this that you should consult your wiser elders!"

"If I see any, I'll ask them for help," Ranma said. He shook his head and jumped back onto his feet. Akane was out of sight by now, and he sensed he should give her at least a little space.

"Oh, I am wounded by your words!" Happosai jeered. "But you shouldn't fight these feelings, young man! They are as natural as flowers blooming in spring. The more you fight them, the more painful it will be for you later on."

Tsk. Whatever. As if Happosai had anything worth listening to. He went out of his way to ignore the old lech and considered things his own way. Why had he reacted like that at the last possible moment, when he was about to make huge strides towards what he was starting to crave? Why was he only feeling like this now instead of before? What had changed? Why was he feeling this kind of attraction for nearly every cute person he met? What should he do next?

Well, that last one was kind of answered for him when all of a sudden -

1. Shampoo glomps him.
2. Water hits him out of nowhere.
3. Ukyo starts hitting on him.
4. Kodachi paralyses and then kidnaps him.
5. One of his rivals attacks him.
6. Something else