Sunday, 22 February 2015

Story: Creeping Perversion: The Not-A-Date

Sorry HC, I wasn't able to pull in your suggestion for this one. It kind of didn't exactly fit with the rest of the episode, you know. But hey, I'll probably wind up writing that scene anyway for a later time, because I really like the idea.


You could say that Ranma had a bit of a complicated relationship with his curse. A big part of his identity was wrapped up in how much of a showoff he was because of his hard-earned talent in martial arts and general athleticism. On the one hand, he was fortunate it was a girl's form he adopted. He could still fight like that. On the other, he tended to think of himself as, well, <i>himself</i>. He was a guy, dammit!

So in that sense it rather messed with him. Made his relationships a touch more complicated, because it's amazing the way society treats you based on whether the water that last splashed you was cold or not. For a guy that spent most of his life as a guy, suddenly finding himself as a chick had all sorts of huge drawbacks.

"Oh, mister confectionary salesman! These sweets all look sooo delicious!"

But they had a few benefits as well. Externally, Ranma was in girl form adopting the air of a cute, innocent young girl flirting with a nervous guy not much older than her. Internally, she was thinking more of a fish nibbling on a lure. She'd never really noticed what suckers guys were for a cute face, and this kind of tactic never bothered her because she was used to doing just about anything to get hold of a little food.

"Y-Yeah, they sure do," the guy said, but you could tell he was thinking something else was delicious right now. Ranma decided to sweeten the deal a little bit more by leaning on the desk and playing with her pigtail over her shoulder. The guy in front of her made a huge, huge gulp.

Two minutes later, she was skipping away from the counter with a big armful of food. Hah! Like putty in her hands! She even gave him a wink while strolling off, and a little bit of wiggle in her hips to send him home happy.

"Honestly!" Akane sighed, irate and tapping her foot. "You're completely hopeless. You know that? That was completely disgusting, and I bet you enjoyed it!"

"Hey, got me a discount," Ranma said. "And you're just jealous 'cause I'm better built and you couldn't flirt your way out of a paper bag."

"How on earth would anyone flirt their way out of a paper bag to begin with?"

"Exactly!"

Akane threw up her hands in despair. "You didn't even need to, you know. I gave you enough change to get everything we needed! That was just overboard. If I didn't know you hated your girl form, I would have seriously thought you just enjoy flirting like that."

Heh. Yeah, that was probably the first time the tomboy had ever admitted she wasn't seriously calling him a pervert. Not that he was going to call her out on it. Something like that could easily ruin this not-a-date. He'd also toyed with the concept of denying her these treats for being so annoyed at him, and he might have done that any other day, but today he just found it so, so hot.

Though on a moment's reflection it had been a little bit fun. Sort of. The way that guy had been checking her out... Heck, a couple of guys in line were definitely giving her the once over. Akane was scowling at them, but Ranma was having trouble getting why that was. She was cute. They both were. It wasn't like the guys were doing anything but looking. Not trying to talk to them, not trying to touch them. Just looking. Though Ranma was considering giving them something they could really take a look at.

She shifted the weight of the sweets in her arms so they nestled under her breasts. In a strange way she was rather proud of them. They were really big for her stature. Framed her figure really nicely, left no doubt at all that she was a chick. A hot chick at that. Using the sweet bundle to press her boobs together and up underneath her silk shirt was a bit of a challenge, but made easier by the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Ranma smirked a little to herself when she caught two guys whispering to each other -

"Ranma!" Akane hissed. "Be a little more self aware! A guy might carry things like that, but if a girl does it -"

"Huh?" Ranma replied, feigning ignorance. "What do you mean?"

Akane just rolled her eyes and took some of the sweets from her. Feh. Fine, whatever. It was kind of cute the way she sort of stormed off into the theater in front of him. The only thing that would make what she was seeing any better was if that skirt wasn't there.

Of course, this wasn't a date. It was just the two of them hanging out. Watching a movie. Together. Sharing sweets, having the time to chat like buddies... Except that Ranma really kind of wanted to go on a proper date with Akane sometime. As a guy. Maybe go dancing, have a meal, then a kiss when they arrived back home...

And if that was something that was going to happen in the future, that meant Ranma had to show her a good time. It meant that being a jerk to her had to stop. It meant that needling her, no matter how hot it made her look when she got mad, that had to be kept to a minimum. It meant showing her a good time. Putting her needs first.

Isn't it amazing how fast trying to get laid can make someone grow the hell up? Even a week ago, the idea of going on a date with someone - anyone, never mind Akane - without being forced by circumstance or extortion would have made him break out in hives born of nerves and social awkwardness. Now he was trying to work out the nerve to actually ask her out on a date-date instead of the fake date they were on tonight.

Of course, this didn't give him any real insight into the best approach to make that happen. Compliment her looks? She'd think Ranma was up to something or setting her up. Just bluntly asking her out wouldn't accomplish anything... In fact, the only thing he could think of at this point was to put her own hand on top of Akane's when they sat down, and try not to jump for joy when she didn't take it away.

Though she did turn her head the other way and make a slightly annoyed sniff. Ranma squeezed her hand a little, and out of the corner of her eye saw Akane slowly turn back with an adorable smile on her tomboy face, and then she squeezed back.

All of a sudden, this didn't quite feel like not-a-date anymore. Not that Ranma had any time to really think about that, because that was when the film started and it was time to settle down and enjoy this movie. It had been advertised for what felt like forever, and the two of them had honestly been quite interested in checking it out. It looked like it could be a whole lot of fun!

And all she could remember by the end of it was half-naked oily guys kicking the crap out of each other. With abs you could grate cheese on. Scratch that, you could probably use them to cut clean through oak.

"Ugh, that was so disappointing!" Akane said next to her. "That was the dumbest plot I've ever seen!"

"Yeah... " Ranma mumbled to herself more than anything else. Those guys were hot. As in, super hot. It was just so easy to imagine herself pushing those guys to the ground and riding them until she dropped.

"The martial arts work was super sloppy too," Akane continued and only now did Ranma notice they were walking arm in arm. "Who did they get to choreograph it? Principal Kuno? Tsk! Even he could have organised that better!"

"Probably," Ranma said feeling utterly confused. So, she was super into Akane. Her friends. Those chicks over there in those tight, tight dresses. The guys they were chatting up. Those actors onscreen. The hell was going on here?

"And they tried to keep us all distracted with nothing but beefcake and cheesecake!" Akane complained. "As if that's going to make everyone forget the stupid story! Ugh, that was infuriating!"

"Worst movie I've seen in a while," Ranma conceded, more going with the flow than anything else. She stopped. Bit her lip and thought things over for a moment. "Hey, I think I saved enough dough earlier to get another couple tickets. Let's try another movie so the night's not a total bust."

"Sounds good to me," Akane said. "Anything to wash that movie out of my brain. I almost wish we could call up Shampoo to make me forget all about it."

So they went off to another movie. Which was still not a date. Obviously. But internally Ranma was doing backflips. Sure, right now she was just about horny enough to jump Ryoga if he showed up and sure, this was freaking her out a little bit. But you try being annoyed or confused when the girl you like is holding onto your arm and resting her head on your shoulder while you walk into a movie theatre. Because that shit? Can't be done.

Of course, Ranma might not have been quite so content if she had been aware that up on the rooftop of the cinema complex, a certain ancient pervert was staring down at them with a triumphant grin painted all over his face....


  1. Skip a week. How's Ranma faring now?
  2. Hijinks ensue during the next movie.
  3. A side effect starts hitting Ranma right about now.
  4. The next day, Ranma is reevaluating those around him/her.
  5. Something else

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