By the time Tsukune woke up he was already staring at his reflection in the mirror. He splashed some cold water in his face, stared and blushed slightly at the sight of the cute girl he had to take a moment to recognise, then splashed himself again with warm water to turn back. Right. That was… Going to take some getting used to.
Though that did raise the question of whether or not he wanted to get used to it. This whole situation… Man, it was messed up! He could sort of hear the others chattering away in his head as well. They all had their own special brand of nonsense to contend with. It really didn’t seem fair to bother them with his.
<i>“Stupid tomboy, why’d I have to get engaged to a chick like that? Especially now. I gotta get rid of this curse…”</i>
<i>“Everyone expects me to be a pilot, but how can I do anything?”</i>
<i>“I’m forming a rebellion against an empire that controls a third of the planet, and my closest friends just learned I can switch sex with the application of water.”</i>
<i>“I’m engaged to an alien girl, the whole world saw me transform into a girl, my girlfriend just saw me ejaculate. Man, this sucks!”</i>
<i>“Backbreaking labour to stay in a home filled with women that are suspicious about me, and now I have to share my brain with seven other people!”</i>
<i>“… I have to share my brain with seven people that might as well exist only in a variety of bizarre manga worlds. Many of whom could die at any moment due to their dangerous situation, and potentially get me killed as well. Hmph. I suppose I should be happy one of them isn’t a</i> Jojo’s <i>character; then I’d be really worried.”</i>
<i>“Zzzkt… Huh? Ah! Oh, no! I’ll be late for school! Gotta get changed, gotta hurry, gotta hurry!”
Oh, Usagi. Never change. At least now he could leave his dorm room fully dressed, fully awake and with at least a slight chuckle on his lips.
However. The question did remain. How was he supposed to resolve this situation? He had a scary nurse blackmailing him - <i>Technically it’s extortion. Legally they are distinct; a blackmailer would merely threaten to reveal sensitive information or evidence of a connection to a crime. This is extortion since she’s using her position to compel you to act under threat of releasing information that would get you killed.</i> - Fine, then he was being extorted. Whatever. The point was, he needed to figure out a way to deal with this! And quickly!
Spy on Moka? Unthinkable. That girl… There was something about her. Sure, her inner self was a little weird and strict, but her outer self was the gentlest snowflake, beautiful, an oasis in the desert. The one person that was truly kind to him. After everything they’d been through together, how brave the others had been so far… Betraying her felt like something he just couldn’t do! Especially since she was so hot he might get blisters if he touched her.
Which meant… What? How could he deal with that nurse? What method could he employ to deal with her? Ask Moka for assistance? No… No, he didn’t want to drag her into this. While she was a vampire and stronger than him and all that, putting her in harm’s way felt like the wrong thing to do. He had to have another option. He simply had to -
“So! Ready for our date this evening?”
Tsukune very, very slowly blinked. His surroundings had completely changed without him even noticing it. Where before he had been walking towards the school’s cafeteria to get some breakfast in his belly, now he was face to face with… Hang on, wasn’t this that Haruhi girl Kyon had gone on a date with yesterday?
“Date?” Tsukune asked, and he wasn’t especially surprised to hear Kyon’s voice. “What do you mean -”
“Hmp, hmph, hmp!” Haruhi wagged her finger triumphantly, leaving Tsukune completely baffled. “I’ve got your game. You’re not fooling me! Nope! No, sir. Try to play it off as a boring, sarcastic everyman, trying to pretend that you’re normal. Well! It’s true that most people are boring in reality, but they at least don’t try to behave that way! That’s what gave you away!”
“It did?” Tsukune asked. This girl’s logic had him completely tied up in knots. If Moka had this girl’s personality, he’d have run from that monster school and maybe never stopped running.
“That’s right! Now I know that you’re trying to throw me off the scent, which means you’ll get overprotective of your secret, which means that we’re dating every night this week until you slip up! Nothing you do from now on will escape my gaze…”
From the gleam in this girl’s eyes, he could tell that she was serious. No. Not just serious. Beyond serious and into some other realm entirely. How could it be possible that he was more scared of a perfectly ordinary girl than a monstrous nurse that threatened to kill his family?
<hr>
Lelouch was an excellent liar. Really, quite superb. He could pinpoint the exact pressure point to push upon to steer a person into believing him. He could find the perfect balance between truth and fiction to satisfy curiosity or alleviate suspicion. It was a natural talent. One he had honed at quite a young age from his observations of Britannian court.
This particular experience was rather pushing it to the limits of his ability.
“Could someone bring me some hot water?” Lelouch asked, breaking the rather awkward silence as his - rather her - fellow student council members all stared in disbelief. “Hot. Not boiling. It would be *ahem* greatly appreciated if you could -”
Which was the point where Milly reached forward to squeeze and grope her transformed chest. Around the table, Rivalz tugged on his collar, Nina continued to boggle in jaw-dropped silence and Shirley fainted off her chair.
“My, my, dear Lelou!” Milly said. Lelouch tried not to squirm in her seat while internally cursing the sensitive nature of this transformed bosom. “What manner of secrets <i>have</i> you been keeping from us? Hmm? Here’s me thinking you were ditching school so you could gamble with nobles -”
“B-But we were!” Rivalz exclaimed. ”I mean… Nothing like this! How did this even happen?”
Because he’d found a mysterious cube that connected him to seven Japanese minds scattered across the multiverse, one of whom had acquired a curse that switched sex on the application of certain water temperatures. Those other seven reside in parallel universes with very different world histories and laws of physics, and they had a bit of a tendency to accidentally switch bodies on occasion, so if you could keep an eye out for that it would be greatly appreciated.
Yes, that seemed quite believable. But then again… They had just witnessed him become her, the curse was easily demonstrated, and if he needed to he could easily draw in one of the others to demonstrate their vastly different personality type. How strange. For once in his life Lelouch found himself in a bind that the absolute truth resolved more neatly and cleanly than telling a lie.
“I’m not entirely sure what caused it,” he began, quite honestly and earnestly. “All I know is that I picked up an odd-looking cube, it melted into my hands and… Strange things began to happen.”
“Strange?!” Shirley blurted from the floor. “You’re a girl now! That’s beyond strange! How does that even happen?!”
“It’s called a Jusenkyo curse, I believe,” Lelouch replied. Honestly now, Shirley seemed to be taking this quite hard for some reason. Was she really that concerned over him? “Cold water appears to trigger the transformation, while hot water - Ah, thank you, Sayoko.”
“Anytime, my lady.”
His maid appeared to be enjoying this almost as much as Milly was. Regardless, he poured a small amount of the warm water over his head and felt the change back to his normal form. Honestly, something like this was bound to happen eventually no matter how careful he was. A sudden spot of rain while out in public would be sufficient to ruin it all.
He considered going further with it, telling them about the gestalt as well… However, revealing he was sharing his mind with seven Elevens was unlikely to sit very well with them. Even though they weren’t Elevens since the Holy Britannian Empire didn’t appear to exist in their worlds, therefore Numbers didn’t at all, which would be a whole other can of worms he would really rather not get into. Bad enough the sex changing.
“That’s impossible,” Nina finally said. “But… But conservation of mass! Your organs would have to shift around, your physiology must undergo a catastrophic transformation! This is huge!”
“Nina…” Milly warned. “I think Lelou would rather not spend the rest of his life being treated like a lab rat. Especially when he could have so much fun getting all the boys rushing after ‘her’ as well as all the girls!”
It was a curious thing. An idle daydream flitted by his mind: His girl form teasing the boys of the school. Bringing them under her influence, while simultaneously he would seduce all of the girls, one by one, bringing them under his power without ever once using his Geass on any of them…
“Well, I’d much rather keep this a secret if it’s all the same to you,” he advised, grateful that he was sitting down, but confused about why he was suddenly completely erect. This had to be Moroboshi’s fault somehow, accursed pervert that he was. “Nina, if you’d like I’ll let you take a look at the curse, but don’t publish anything without consulting me first. How does that sound?”
“I suppose…” Nina said. “I was working on something else pretty big, but that’s nothing compared to this. A scientist’s duty is to pursue the truth behind any question that defies explanation.”
“Well said!” Milly announced. “And since it means we’ll get to see more of our adorable Miss Lelou, I can hardly raise any objection at all!”
“… If you try to sneak into the girls’ changing room like that…” Shirley warned.
Well. That went a little smoother than expected. Now he could breathe a genuine sigh of relief. These people were his friends, after all. What else should he have expected?
The meeting itself went smoothly after that. Well. As smoothly as it ever did with this particular bunch. Somehow they muddled through the budget in time to make it to morning classes, and then -
“Oh, Kallen! It’s good to see you again. How do you feel?”
Hello, what do we have here?
“Hm, see something you like, buddy?”
Yes, actually. Now that Rivalz was asking he could see that the girl in the centre of his vision was rather beautiful, if a little sickly looking. Her dark red - almost pink - hair was fairly distinctive. Her figure was rather impressive as well. She filled out the Ashford Academy girl’s uniform quite nicely with a slim figure and breasts that he could -
“Just thinking she’s been out of school for a while,” he whispered, beginning to get genuinely concerned for the effect a psychic attachment to Moroboshi was having on his libido. “It’s unusual to see her.” Especially since she looked exactly like that one girl he’d seen piloting the red Glasgow. He’d thought she’d looked familiar at the time, but a student here at Ashford?
“Yeah. Sure. That’s why you were staring at her like that,” Rivalz whispered. “Well. You’ve got good taste at least. Kallen Stadtfeld. Her family’s loaded, and aside from being the third hottest girl I’ve seen this morning she still aces all her tests even though she’s missed half of her days this term alone. Smart, pretty, rich. A perfect ten in each. Want some dating tips?”
“Thank you, no,” Lelouch replied, his mind awhirl with possibilities as the class began and progressed through the morning. Was it really the same girl? What was she doing at Ashford, and if she was Britannian why was she fighting them so vehemently alongside the Japanese?
What he wasn’t wondering was who the two hotter girls Rivalz had seen would have to be. His crush on Milly was more transparent than a window, and as for second place he could but shake his head and make a mental note to make sure to take certain precautions whenever gym class inevitably rolled around…
At last, lunchtime! Now he had the opportunity to perhaps talk a little while with Kallen. Determine the truth using his Geass. The vague “sickness” she had could easily be a cover for more clandestine activities, but what other reason could she have for -
“S-Someone please help!”
His surroundings had transformed. He was in another school that was definitely not Ashford Academy. His eyes quickly scanned the surrounding area, and it didn’t take much to determine where exactly he’d wound up or whose body he was in. After all. How many schools had he seen recently which had tombstones dotting the grounds, dead trees with branches filled with eerie crows, and a skyline full of perpetually dark and stormy clouds?
“Help me, please, help me!” said a cute girl that was also definitely a monster in disguise. “I just suddenly started feeling ill all of a sudden!”
“Of course,” Lelouch in Tsukune said. Well. While he was here, he might as well help out. It would hardly do if anything unfortunate were to happen to his fellow Gestalt member, now would it? “I cannot hope to refuse the request of a maiden in distress.” His eye began to glow, with the symbol of a bird flapping its wings manifesting in his pupil. “I’m going to take you to the infirmary, and you’re going to answer all of my questions…”
<hr>
Had anyone ever been so grateful for an opportunity at the mundane? Both Kyon and Keitaro were feeling that way this morning. Things had been a little bit on the hectic side for both their tastes.
And why shouldn’t it? Out of all eight it turned out these two had the most ordinary and mundane lives to live. Keitaro’s biggest worry that morning was whether he would make the train that morning, while Kyon was more concerned over whether he’d be able to be thought of as normal ever again. And if that weird Haruhi girl would leave him alone now.
In that sense it was natural, in a way, that the two of them would gravitate towards each other. Form a kind of friendship across realities. It was sort of like they understood each other better than the others with their weird alternate histories, martial arts, superheroics and what have you.
<i>“How was your date with Haruhi?”</i> Keitaro asked. <i>“You’re very lucky, she’s quite pretty! I wonder if my promised girl will be that cute?”</i>
<i>“Forgive me for stealing a line from our martial artist friend, but cute is not a description I would use for that bossy girl. Physically attractive? Certainly. But absolutely not dating material.”</i>
Keitaro chuckled a little at that, but truly felt quite envious of the younger boy. How could he not? He’d never actually been on a date at all! Look at him, on his way to cram school for a test he couldn’t possibly be ready for. Hell, he only just barely caught the train, and that was largely because of last night’s - ahem - emissions.
<i>“You’re welcome by the way! Forgot to set your clock. Heh. Looks like most of us are on our way to school, in one form or another.”</i>
That was true enough. On the edge of his consciousness, he could sort of see it. There was Usagi, sitting in class, chattering away with her friends while waiting for the bell to ring. Ranma was walking on top of a fence and making every effort to avoid looking at his fiancee while remaining in complete denial over his attraction to her. Tsukune was at school, Lelouch too…
<i>“Hey, hey… Shinji. You alright there, buddy?”</i>
It was the weirdest thing. Keitaro was a complete goof off, and he’d be the first to admit it. But there was something about that Ikari kid that made him feel like he really was the oldest of the eight of them.
<i>“It’s nothing,”</i> Shinji replied. <i>“It’s a new school, that’s all.”</i>
<i>“I think our brave pilot is having trouble making friends,”</i> Kyon observed. But all of a sudden, two things happened at once. The train Keitaro had been riding screeched to a halt, and out of nowhere a girl practically flew right into him. Very bookish sort, big, thick glasses, baggy clothes, had her hair tied up in a long ponytail…
<i>“Hot.”</i>
<i>“Not… Helpful! Yipe!”</i>
“S-Sorry about that,” Keitaro weakly said, holding onto the girl so that she didn’t fall over. And then, to his surprise, she pressed herself tightly up against him. Right out of nowhere. A girl he didn’t even know was throwing herself at him. She smelled really nice…
“And so, following Second Impact, the world’s governments underwent a dramatic upheavel as resources grew increasingly limited…”
And all of a sudden he was sitting at a desk in a classroom full of bored-looking students listening to a bored-sounding teacher talking about the background to what, to Keitaro, sounded like an amazingly complicated and dramatic science-fiction backdrop. Also he had an erection, and was grateful that the desk gave him sufficient means to keep it hidden away.
<hr>
While Keitaro was dealing with that, Kyon had his own encounter with class president Ryoko Asakura. Ah, now this girl was a bit more of a realistic catch. Pretty, pleasant, friendly with everyone in class and seemed quite genuinely interested in all of them. Was it any wonder that half the boys in class seemed to be infatuated with her already?
“Good morning, Kyon!”
“I see my nickname has infected yet another person. Good morning, class president.”
“I hear that you and Haruhi Suzumiya went on a date last night. How was it?”
Huh. Strange. If he didn’t know any better, he’d assume that Ryoko was… Jealous? No, Kyon, remember who this girl is. She’s the class president. It’s much more likely she’s worried that they did something inappropriate on their date, not that it would really be any of her business if they had. Not that he would have anyway.
“Yes, that’s right!” Kyon said. “Ah, but I doubt it will go anywhere. We’re like the Sun and the Moon. She shines too bright to go near, and I’m -”
“Dependent on her light to shine,” Ryoko finished. “I’m terribly sorry, Kyon, but if I’m correct you’ll be going on lots more dates with Haruhi in the near future. Maybe you’ll have more fun next time if you try to have fun yourself? Something to reflect on, in the same way the Moon reflects the Sun’s light. Bye bye, and please don’t do anything too naughty with her.”
Kyon sighed. Yeah, sure. Him and Haruhi. He’d deliberately given her the most bland date he could imagine. There wasn’t a single chance in hell that she’d ever consider -
“Hey! You!” yelled a familiar voice, and Kyon barely had time to turn around before finding his collar grabbed and all of a sudden he was being dragged along to the roof -
Then out of nowhere was standing in a train holding Naru Narusegawa in her very best “geek chick” cosplay. It was quite convincing. Kyon swallowed more than a little bit nervously, and tried to create a little bit of distance between the two of them.
“Naru?” he asked, and she jumped a little, providing the opportunity to create that space. Goodness, what had Keitaro been up to in the maybe five minutes they’d been separated? Let’s see… He ran through it all in his brain. Keitaro was on his way to an exam on this very train. Given what he knew about Naru, based on what Keitaro had told them -
Somehow Naru Narusegawa was his promised girl. It didn’t make sense at all given the age difference, but didn’t this entire situation simply scream romantic comedy to anyone else? Keitaro was the well-meaning, bumbling idiot, Naru was the girl that didn’t like him, but she was also pretty nice, shared common interests with him, and on top of all of that looked absolutely drop-dead gorgeous while wearing twin ponytails.
Maybe that last part was just him.
“You must be here for the exams, right? Same here,” and he sincerely hoped that Keitaro got back here soon because one of them was a high school student and the other was trying for the most prestigious university in the country. Somehow, he doubted very much that he would be doing Keitaro any favours by taking the exam on his behalf! And besides which. That would technically be cheating.
“Good guess,” Naru said, gripping the hem of her jumper and making as if to lift it over her head. Kyon’s reaction time might never have been faster: He took a firm grip on Naru’s wrists and kept her from doing something in public that she might regret later. “You’re here for the same, mister landlord?”
“Ahahaha, yes, that’s right,” other reasons began to pop into his head considering how bad an idea this was: He didn’t know the building. He didn’t know the stop. While it was true that he had to get away from Naru as soon as possible to prevent her from stripping down, she was the only person he knew that could realistically help him out right now. Which made him just a trifle nervous.
Yep. The two of them were the normal pair of the group alright. Absolutely completely normal.
<hr>
Shinji was never very good at making friends. Too quiet. Too concerned about what others might think of him. He was the sort that would rather keep himself to himself, listen to his music. If someone else wanted to be friends with him? Fine. He’d go with it as long as they were willing to.
Of course, the entire class tuned out when the teacher started lecturing them about Second Impact. Because it’s only really interesting the first, maybe, five times you hear it? Oh, sure. Death on a massive scale. Widespread famine and disease. Natural disasters that completely sent the entire planet Earth into upheaval. Could we maybe get to the part of the day where we did some maths?
Not that Shinji would ever make these complaints so the outside world could hear, but by this point he could teach this class himself. If he was the sort that liked talking in front of a lot of people. Still! He had advantages the others did not.
Like the ability to overhear snippets of whole other worlds where Second Impact never happened. A world without Angels, but with different kinds of monsters. Or just people. Completely new places with completely different histories from the one he was used to. It was almost too easy for him to just drift off and -
“Yes? Can I help you?”
And stare at a pretty red-haired girl, wearing what appeared to be an off-white school uniform. Had he slipped through to another world? Was that what this was? The air smelled so much nicer. Cleaner. The building next to them seemed almost… Old fashioned. He was standing in paradise compared to Tokyo-3, which was a technology-ridden paradise of an entirely different kind. It didn’t take much for Shinji to decide which he preferred.
He looked down at himself and recognised the uniform. So he was in the Prince’s body, then? Shinji tried closing his eyes to concentrate. Nothing. Great, a lousy signal just when he didn’t need it. Lelouch was probably about to talk with this girl about something or other, and now he was being dropped into the middle of it. That didn’t seem fair to either of them. He wasn’t half as smart! Or charming. This girl would see right through him in a heartbeat.
“Hello? Did you want something?” the girl repeated, sounding just a little bit frustrated.
“Yes,” Shinji replied, opening his eyes. “<b>I would like you to help me, in any way that you can.</b>”
“… Of course!” Kallen replied. Huh. Had he… Just used Lelouch’s eye thing to hypnotise her? Oh gosh, now he was panicking! What was he supposed to do now?!
- Each of the four accidentally triggers an extremely perverted situation in the other's universe, just as the cube had "planned".
- Meanwhile, the others have also switched up.
- Something else
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