Story: Perverts in Denial

The normal morning routine for Nabiki Tendo was, perhaps, a trifle more complicated than she cared for and that was even if we discounted the myriad “training traps” laid around the house and grounds by her slightly obsessive father. There were times when she wondered how things might have been had her sister not been forced to train with her father’s martial arts master on a years-long training journey.

Would her sister have taken up the art in their stead? Would their father have turned quite as obsessive as he had? Would he have still scared off any potential boyfriend for her and Kasumi? Would they still be practising the art, would they still be as skilled as they were?

Looking up at the fence next to her, Nabiki could almost see into that parallel world. An alternative existence she envied, but would never admit to it. Yesterday her sister had finally returned. A stranger with a fiance with a completely bizarre curse. She tsked a little in memory of that little embarrassing incident yesterday. Oooh! Her fists clenched automatically in memory. Ranma had been lucky he’d been able to somehow slip away long enough for an explanation to what was going on, otherwise he’d have probably wound up in hospital by now!

The two of them walking on top of the fence, she in front and he hugging her from behind, the two of them walking in casual lockstep with sweet, saccharine smiles on their faces. How was she supposed to react here? Protective? Supportive of their relationship? Eh. When in doubt go with what you know: Aloof and cold. It was all they really deserved after yesterday’s stunt.

“I’m surprised that fits,” Nabiki said. “Kasumi’s old uniform, I mean.”

“It’s adorable,” said Ranma, who playfully rubbed his cheek against Akane’s. “Although in my opinion? The skirt’s a bit too long.”

“I agree,” Akane replied without missing a beat, with a curious tone in her voice and a gleam in her eye that got Nabiki to raise an eyebrow in interest. “I don’t have nearly the mobility that I’d like, and I’m sure it will inhibit my ability to kick perverts in the balls.”

Right. They were talking about martial arts. Nothing weird like showing off her legs or anything like that. Well. Nabiki could breathe a sigh of relief if that was the case. If those two really had been any kind of perverts, it might have made things a little bit awkward between them.

“I see you’re fence walking,” Nabiki observed. The best thing for her to do right now was draw them out into conversation. She wanted to get to know her little sister a bit better, so she could at least understand how she was supposed to behave around her. “Balance training?” They nodded in unison. Slightly creepy. “Hmph. Kasumi and I used to do that all the time. Until one day…”

“Hm? Something wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” Nabiki smiled to herself, as she thought of something kind of fun she could try. What would be the harm? He seemed sturdy enough, and if they really were supposed to be martial artists he’d be able to take a decent enough fall. The ancient lecher probably had them do much worse, and it would give her a bit of insight into what they were capable of… “Daddy trained us both to be anti-pervert martial artists.”

All she did was blink and then the next thing she knew they were standing on either side of her with just the biggest puppy dog eyes you ever did see. Glittering and bright enough to double as lighthouses, staring at her as if she’d just promised them the secret to eternal youth.

“Anti-pervert martial arts?” Ranma asked. “That sounds awesome!”

“Show us!” Akane insisted, seizing hold of Nabiki’s hands and shaking them rapidly up and down. “Show us, show us, show us!”

“Well, alright…” Nabiki sighed. “But it will cost you. The two of you take on my chores for the next week. All of them.”

The suckers agreed. Well, that was a little easier than expected. She almost wanted to laugh. Oh, if only she’d thought of this earlier on she might have been able to arrange for her friends to record this wonderful bonding moment with her future brother-in-law. Also read it as an opportunity for a little payback for yesterday.

“Alright, Ranma,” she said. “I’ll walk ahead. You try to flip my skirt. Got it?”

“… Okay, I guess?”

She strode on ahead with no intention whatsoever of hiding the smirk on her face. Oh, that boy. Pretending to be a girl when he was actually a boy with a curse, not telling everyone in time to prevent anyone walking in on him and seeing, well, she at least had to admit that her sister was a lucky girl. He had this coming, and -

And she felt the briefest of fingertips on the bottom of her skirt. No warning at all. Her senses detected no approach of any sort, and in fact were insisting that there was absolutely nobody behind her at all, and that both Ranma and Akane were at least five feet behind her. However. As much of a surprise as that had been, it was still enough to trigger her “anti-pervert” instincts, even feeling just this much.

In the mere second before her skirt was flipped up, her hand shot back at where the wrist was while her other hand immediately performed a complicated motion across the outside of her skirt that completely negated the flipping attempt and left the fabric exactly where it was supposed to be.

“Tendo School of Anything Goes, Skirt Flipper Hip Flip!”

It was a special kind of overhead toss her father had developed that would pull the target over the head, using the full efficiency of the attacker’s body to tremendous effect. The first time Kasumi ever pulled it off, the straw dummy they were practising on was found a mile away. This was among the most basic technique available to the sub-school their father had developed, and many of the girls within Furinkan had already delighted in mastering it. Trouble was: Both the Tendo sisters had been drilled into it so thoroughly that they now pretty much did it automatically whenever anyone tried to flip their skirts. Nabiki’s reaction just now had been entirely based on instinct rather than deliberate action, though of course her intention had been to create this circumstance in the first place…

Except that in this particular instance, things didn’t quite go as intended. Ranma was supposed to come up over her shoulder with a look of confusion on his face before landing flat up on his back before Nabiki kicked him in the face - another part of the instinctive self defence she had developed against her will - And that was supposed to be the end of it. Not so much today. Instead, Ranma was somehow able to completely flip himself around into a landing most Olympic gymnasts would envy.

“Ohhhh!” Ranma gasped. “That was so amazing! I have to learn how to do that. Let’s see… You grabbed my wrist, then used <i>those</i> muscles…”

To Nabiki’s abject amazement, Akane slid right on next to Ranma, and the pair of them systematically figured it out there and then. In the space of seconds they had autopsied the technique, given her a few suggestions for improvement they’d just now thought of, showed her various weak spots in the form that would have allowed their former Master to still flip her skirt and get away with it scot free - which they promised to never, ever exploit, even while using the opportunity to repeatedly flip her skirt to demonstrate…

And all she could do was sort of stand there in amazement, taking it all in with cold detachment. Like it was happening to someone else. To the point that the notion they’d repeatedly seen her underwear didn’t even pop into her head.

“Well,” Nabiki said, gathering her thoughts. “That was quite unexpected.”

“I’ll say!” Akane leaped back up onto the fence, where Ranma was already waiting for her. “An anti-pervert martial art form… That’s amazing! I wish we could have learned it. Must be so useful.”

“It is,” Nabiki sighed, “except for one small problem. Daddy was so thorough in training us that we react automatically. Try having a boyfriend when you put him in a chinlock whenever you try for a goodnight kiss. The only boy that I could ever date…”

“There she is!” a voice called. Oh, wonderful! Just what she needed. “Nabiki Tendo! We will defeat you! We will date you!”

“Is one strong enough to defeat me in a martial arts contest,” Nabiki growled, tossing the happy couple her bag and charging into the school grounds. Honestly, it wasn’t even that she couldn’t actually have a proper boyfriend that bothered her so much. It was the fact that so many lucrative opportunities were squandered by the fact that she couldn’t properly blackmail any would-be suitor.

<hr>
“I don’t think your sister likes me very much,” Ranma whispered while hugging Akane on top of the wall surrounding the school grounds.

“Maybe,” Akane replied. “But I’d say we were right. That girl needs to get laid, pronto!”

Indeed she did. There wasn’t any question about it in either of their minds. Down below, she was at the front of the large crowd of boys - athletes from the looks of things - and they were all lining up to take their turn in a one-on-one fight. It was funny, but both of them had sort of expected her to just sort of… Dive on in, take them all on at once. But no. It turned out she’d somehow organised this whole thing into a sort of proper contest. One on one. Some associate of hers off on the side would read out names in what appeared to be a random order, they’d walk forward, get pulled into any of a dozen submission positions, call uncle, then sulk back into the main building.

“Seducing her won’t be easy,” Ranma whispered. “Any ideas?”

“Well… I could maybe suggest we help her overcome Daddy’s training regimen…” Akane mused. “That way she would be able to have a boyfriend and have all the non-perverted sex she could possibly ever need.”

The last of the boys fell victim to a half-nelson choke and collapsed to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The would-be dates for Nabiki now defeated, the girl dusted off her hands, and the “happy couple” effortlessly stepped right off the wall as if taking a step onto level earth, right in each other’s arms.

“Hey, well done! That was kinda cool!” Ranma said, knowing all too well that compliments are the very first step towards making anyone like you. Everyone likes knowing how great they are… Though only when the compliment is genuine, it must be said. “How often does this happen?”

“Every day,” Nabiki answered, inspecting her nails. Had she just had a manicure, they would still have been immaculate even after all those fights. “They pay to be added to the roster, then get their names read out in the order they paid. I think some of them get off on being beaten up.”

“Like… Perverts…?” Akane said, her eyes (and Ranma’s) growing a little bit darker. Suddenly, every male watching from the windows of the school (and some that were not) took a sudden step away from that side of the building, and never knew quite why. Even if you can’t normally feel a battle aura, it’s not hard to be intimidated by one. “Perverts are paying to be attacked by my big sister? Whose idea was this?”

A rose flew across the air and Nabiki deftly sidestepped it, not even deigning to give it attention.

“Fair Nabiki,” said a rather handsome boy, who stepped out from the building. “Are you suitably warmed up from your latest encounter with those ruffians? I trust that your might and wisdom has overcome them all again.”

“Huh! Who’s the pompous asshole?” Ranma asked.

“The head pervert,” Nabiki sighed. “That’s who.”

“I am not a pervert!” the boy insisted. “I am Tatewaki Kuno! The rising star of Furinkan! I am -”

“Interested in some pictures of our recent beach vacation, where Kasumi and I took some time to sunbathe?”

“Sold!”

All of the boys and all of the men within the school grounds took a spontaneous step away from the front side of the school, and if they were pressed on this strange simultaneous action they would only say that they felt a chill of unshakable terror wash over their souls, or some paraphrase of a similar notion. The reason for that terror was simplicity:

Ranma and Akane were witnessing another person behaving like a pervert.

“Ah, your photography skills are truly bordering on the professional level! Nabiki Tendo, perhaps you should consider that your future career! Hm? But who is this gorgeous friend of yours? I would surely recall seeing her on the school grounds before today.”

“Oh, I’m Nabiki’s little sister Akane.” She said this while making a big show of shyly playing with her skirt and looking at the ground, as though she were some helpless doll talking to a boy for the very first time. “I also practise martial arts, and promised to only date a boy if they could beat me in battle. I don’t suppose you would like to try your luck?”

“Of course,” Kuno said, drawing his bokken and marching forward. “Your family is renowned for their strength, martial capacity, and fairness of your women. I shall - Hurk!”

The first sign that anything had even happened was a gust of wind. A second later, Akane was standing directly in front of Kuno with her little finger extended into his chest.

“It’s a shame you’re such a pervert,” Akane whispered, so low that nobody else could hear. “Otherwise, I might well have had my way with you. Then again… Meet me at the gym storage during lunch, and I’ll be sure to get that perversion of yours well and truly handled.”

Kuno fainted flat onto the ground, at which time Ranma reappeared to take Akane arm in arm. The pair of them deliberately walked on top of Kuno’s body while walking into the school, leaving Nabiki staring after them in disbelief.

“Should I be finding some cold water for later on?” Ranma asked. “You’re getting that gleam in your eye.”

“Well!” Akane giggled. “That’s up to you. I mean, maybe it’s not just my sister that needs a little bit of our special assistance.”

1. Ranma and Akane introduce themselves to their classmates.
2. Nabiki tries to figure out the couple, while dealing with Kuno in class.
3. At lunch, Kuno arrives at the invited location.
4. Kasumi reflects on events so far.
5. Something else