Ah, what a wonderful night he had. Ataru sat up and stretched out his limbs as far as he could get them. What a truly magical night it was for a pervert like him. He rolled out of his futon, rose to his feet and grabbed his uniform from his closet, throwing it on without much thought. He was smiling broadly and genuinely, a twinkle in his eye that spoke of mischief of the hentai flavour.
Prepared for the day ahead and fully awake, he walked downstairs with a cocky swagger and a single thought in his mind: Last time, he had missed out on the fun sexy times. This time, he was certain that he would not!
Yes dear reader, he is just that oblivious. You can stop facepalming now. Trust me, if this much is making you react that way, then you will probably concuss yourself after following Ataru Moroboshi around for a day. He's the greatest victim of his own actions, and he never ever learns.
On entering the kitchen, he found Lum sitting at the table. "Morning Lum!" he cheerily called. She turned her nose up at him, which was a bit of an odd reaction. Odder still was that Ran was also sitting next to her - and she had much the same reaction! Both girls had their cheeks puffed out and an expression of disdain on their pretty faces.
Ataru considered this for a moment. Now, given his answer one might be under the impression his thought process had consisted of 'gee, what is the stupidest possible thing that I could say?' Followed quickly by a list of options, ultimately culminating in his asking:
"Did I do something wrong?"
It might be a bit of a cliche, but there it is. Never, ever ask an irate girlfriend, fiancee or wife if you have done something wrong. If you have to ask then the answer is 'yes'. Don't expect to be told what it was you did wrong either, as the very fact that you lack the awareness of what it was you did wrong will piss them off even more. A classic rookie mistake.
"What did I do?"
Stop facepalming. I said, stop! Remember my warning about concussions?
"Mother dear!" Lum called, voice as sweet as syrup. "Could you please pass on a message to Darling for me? Message reads -" Then, without warning, electricity filled the kitchen as Lum yelled at the top of her voice "Darling you're an idiot!!" Do note the double exclamation marks. That's how you know she's really upset. Then again, considering that she was perfectly willing to have a threesome involving said idiot last night and he'd totally ignored them in favour of setting up this photoshoot - well, it's hard to see her being anything but upset, isn't it?
"Ataru, you're an idiot..." Mrs Moroboshi sighed while serving him breakfast. Then, after a moment she blinked in realisation. "Sorry Lum, did you say something? I blanked out for a moment there."
Ran coughed, and smiled sweetly. "Oh it was nothing much," she said. Her voice made syrup seem bitter and the most fragrant flowers seem like they reeked of rotting meat. "She just wanted you to tell Darling that - " And now her voice changed to one that was much shriller, much more high pitched, louder, angry sounding, and there were honest to goodness fangs in her mouth. "He's such a complete and total idiot that he makes rocks seem like geniuses!"
Mrs Moroboshi looked long and hard at her son. By this point Ataru was furiously scribbling out plans for the photoshoot. Plans which included, among other things, purchasing numerous bottles of body lotion and a basket full of bananas.
"Sorry, did you girls say something?" Ataru asked, on noticing the sudden attention on him.
"You see, Lum?" Mrs Moroboshi said. "I've been saying it for years. It changes nothing."
The reason for that was much the same reason a vaccination works. By being exposed so often to his mother's claims that he was an idiot, Ataru had long since learned to tune it out. So instead of dwelling on that, instead he moved the conversation forward.
"Oh yeah... Lum! This is very important," he said. Now, that did catch Lum's attention. Something important? "I won't be able to do this without you. Remember what you promised?"
That got the oni girl wondering. Had she promised him something? Maybe - maybe that was why he was being so distracted last night? That's where her thoughts went. Maybe she had misunderstood something? If he had something special planned for her at the photoshoot, rather than just intending to have an easy way to take pictures of cute girls, then maybe she shouldn't be so annoyed with him for passing up such an easy chance to get laid!
"I'm going to need that camera you promised to get me. Do you have it with you?"
Five minutes later, Ataru Moroboshi stumbled out of the front door, flanked by two cute girls who were resolutely not looking at him. There was also, for some reason, a camera shaped imprint across his face that matched the one hanging from his neck.
Remember folks. Don't facepalm while reading about Ataru Moroboshi. That way leads to permanent brain damage, and could ultimately lead to you, too, behaving just this stupidly. This has been a public service announcement, sponsored by Shutaro Mendo.
<hr>
Ryuunosuke sat up in her futon and stretched out her arms and legs. She scratched her back, she belched a bit and only then after finishing the stereotypical man-style wake up routine was she fully awake. Her eyes came into focus, and settled upon a note she'd left for herself pinned to the wall. That note read ' first photoshoot today!'
"Oh yeah! That's today!" Ryuunosuke happily yelped. She kipped up and fist pumped the air. "Aha! This is gonna be great! I can show off all the girly clothes I got!"
Girly clothes? Why, yes. As a matter of fact, once word had got around that there would be a photoshoot involving Ryuunosuke, there had been several donations made to the school store. Over a scant few hours, a mountain of girly clothes had mounted up. In point of fact there was a massive pile of them over in the corner that piled all the way up to the ceiling.
Ryuunosuke was staring at that pile of clothing as though it were a big juicy steak and she'd been starved for a month. Now, given her rather masculine demeanour and general behaviour it would be easy to see this as something more perverted than reality.
"I'ma wear the fuck out of those clothes!" Ryuunosuke lewdly remarked.
Okay, maybe it's approximately as perverted as one might think. Not quite in the same way, though. Ryuunosuke rolled over onto her hands and knees, then began to crawl across to the pile of women's clothing with her tongue hanging out.
"What'll I wear first?" she asked herself. "Maybe that one piece bikini? Or that cute pink skirt? Or that halter top? Or the cutoff jeans?" With each suggestion she scooched herself across a little bit closer, a little bit closer. "Maybe I oughta try the underwear first! There's some cute frilly panties in there I've been dying to try on!“ Her hands were just at the pile, ready to grab a cute dress when-
“We’re here Ryuunosuke!” Ataru kicked open the door to her room.
Ladies and gentlemen, the warning from earlier still stands; Do not facepalm when considering the actions of Ataru Moroboshi.
Ryuunosuke fell flat on her face at the surprising declaration and intrusion of the universe's greatest pervert. Pushing herself up, her eye twitched and she glowered at him.
"I ain't ready yet!" she warned. "Get out! Give a chick some privacy already!"
"You heard her, Darling!" Lum angrily said. Oh! Ryuunosuke instinctively adjusted her hair on noticing that Ataru wasn't alone in coming into her room. Both Lum and Ran were here too! "Out, out already! Give the girl some privacy!"
"That is what you do best," Ran harrumphed. "Isn't it <i>Darling</i>? Leaving girls alone together is your speciality!"
In case you were curious he still didn't get it. The perverted boy simply shrugged and slipped out of the room, remarking as he went: "We'll be setting up in the gym. So, when you girls are ready just pop right on in! See you soon!"
The door closed. Ryuunosuke opened her mouth to speak, but Lum pressed her finger against the girl's mouth. Reflexively Ryuunosuke leaned back a little and began to suck on that finger - but Lum was actually paying attention elsewhere in the room, and so didn't notice. Though Ran certainly did and began to mimic the action unconsciously with her own finger.
"Darling left too easily..." Lum sniffed. "There!" she declared, shooting out a lightning bolt from her spare hand and, in the process, frying the hidden (earth) camera Ataru had slipped into the room. "Hah! Sneaky of you Darling, but not sneaky enough!"
"That's great Lum thank you for that electrifying moment," Ryuunosuke burbled, her hair sticking up from the electric shock.
“Lum! You shocked poor Ryuunosuke! She doesn’t deserve that!” Ran had pulled a paper fan from somewhere and bopped Lum on the head with it.
“No no it’s fine, didn’t hurt too much… not like that time my old man got the bright idea to have me carry around a car battery to power a sign advertising the shop…” Actually, that time had taught Ryuunosuke how to quickly sort her hair out again without having to buy a comb. Her old man had warned her about those things, they cause your hair to turn grey because they steal the colour away!
Anyway, she whipped her head around until her hair settled back into its natural place, every strand right where it ought to be.
“So it looks like plenty of girls want some pictures.” Lum said, having floated over to a pile of notes listing requests for pictures. “Mostly… of you it seems. Some of Mendo. And then the boys want… you. And me! And Ran. And Sakura... One or two obviously have no taste and are asking for Shinobu...”
"I dunno, Shinobu's kinda cute," Ryuunosuke mused.
<i>"Ah! Ryuunosuke! It pleases your father to hear that you have found a girl you find cute!"</i>
A hologram had come to life in the middle of the room. All three girls stared at it with expressions very much like it was a dog that had made a mess of the carpet. This was a long range hologram from the ship Ryuunosuke's dad had been on, showing the bastard in all his... Glory is the wrong word. Misery?
"Clear off, old man!" Ryuunosuke yelled, instinctively grabbing a pair of panties from the pile and tossing them right through the jerk's head. Naturally, him being a hologram, it flew right through him doing nothing more than distorting the image.
<i>"Oh, what's this? Ryuunosuke! You've been having girls over while I've been gone! Naughty boy! You must have been anxiously awaiting this opportunity for quite some time! They've even been leaving their clothing behind in the room!"</i>
"Eek! It's a manrat from Mars III!" Ran squealed, diving into the pile of clothes to hide. "His bite will turn us to stone! Lum, zap him! Quickly!"
"It's not a manrat," Lum corrected. "That's Ryuunosuke's father."
Ran peeked out from the clothes and looked between both Ryuunosuke and the hologram. "Human genetics are baffling," she finally decided. "Must get her looks from her mother..."
<b>”MASAKO!”</b> Mr. Fujinami burst into tears. “Oh if only she was here to see you growing into such a fine young man!"
“If mom was here she’d be wondering when she got a young man as a kid!”
"Ooooh! She'd love to meet your cute girlfriend toooooo!"
That was about as much as Ryuunosuke could stand, and she couldn't stands no more! Which is why she, uh, stood up and did something she wished she could do before: Grabbed some trousers, then walked right out of the room!
"Kukuku..." Ryuunosuke cackled. "Bye, old man! 'Cause of that projector, you can't harass me no more when I go out! See ya! Come on ladies, let’s see how the photoshoot is getting set up!"
That got her mood much improved again. Ryuunosuke had a cocky swagger as she left the shop, heading out into the school corridor - right into a gaggle of giggling girls who must've been waiting for her to exit.
"Ryuunosuke! Did you get my gift?"
"Will you be wearing that bikini during the photoshoot?"
"Can I pose with you?"
"Ladies, ladies," Ryuunosuke cooly answered. "You're gonna have to place an order to find out."
"So cool!"
<i>"Yes, he is! Ryuunosuke you playboy!"</i>
No. No. No! No! With a tremendous amount of dread she turned around, and saw the hologram of her old man. The projector was hovering right over her shoulder. No! No! This was a nightmare! It was too soon! She didn't want him to come back - well, ever would be the preferred option.
<i>"You're so popular with the ladies! A chip off the old block. Just like I was at your age!"</i>
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! The mental image was too much! Who'd want to be like this old man in any way?! He was a total weirdo in every sense!
Fortunately, an electircal spark hit the projector, causing it to fall to the floor completely inoperable. Lum had her index finger extended and a faux innocent expression on her face. "Oops," she whistled.
"I love you," Ryuunosuke breathed in relief. The girls around her all gasped and swooned. Fortunately, this had an effect much like Moses parting the red sea, letting the three girls quickly move on to the gym before something else weird happened! Though, Ryuunosuke did note that Lum's face was flush and Ran was angrily looking at Lum for some reason.
"Thanks for the attention, but it's Ataru that I love," Lum said, though her voice was wavering just a touch. "Ahem! Let's get this photoshoot over with."
Right! Ryuunosuke burst inside the gym, eager to get this over with. She could hardly wait to have her own photo collection. A memory of the cute girly outfits she'd get to wear, all for her! It would be super fun! Heck, maybe they'd even get to have sex afterwards. That'd be really fun!
Inside the gym they found Ataru on a premade set, fiddling around with a weird camera. For some reason he had a basket full of bananas, and three bottles of assorted types of lotion next to it. Huh? What were those for, anyway? And... Were those ice pops?
"Hey girls!" Ataru said, barely looking over at them. He was too busy fiddling with the camera to pay them much notice. "I'll be with you in a sec! Just trying to work out the controls for this thing..."
Then he pushed a button, and things took... A slightly surreal turn. Well, at the very least those of you unable to keep from facepalming whenever Ataru did something stupid can't really blame him for this one. Instead, try to resist the urge to facepalm for the fact that Lum didn't explain to him how the camera functioned.
- They're not in the gym anymore.
- The three girls switch bodies.
- The girls erotically pose without noticing.
- Their clothing changes.
- The pictures are more movement capable then one might expect
- Something else happened’
No comments:
Post a Comment