Story Pretty Boy Ukyo

There were times in her life where Akane was fairly certain she was dreaming, and it would all be over soon. The most recent time had been when she'd first met Ranma: At first her internal reaction had been "Oh, there's a hot naked boy in the bath. This must be a sex dream." Which was quickly followed by "Huh, usually I've pinned the boy to the floor by now." Which led to "... Oh! Oh dear. Time to leave and repress this memory."

It was a rather humiliating experience for all involved. The sort of event that reminded her of a western saying: Truth is stranger than fiction. Well, she'd been careful to avoid that line of thinking. What could possibly be stranger than a Jusenkyo curse?

"Gosh, as a business owner he should work harder to clean up his mess," Ranma said. Wearing a frilly apron and scrubbing furiously at some sauce stain on the floor. "Doesn't he know the kind of impression this would leave if his customers happened to see this?"

Ranma Saotome. Manly man and martial artist extraordinaire. In a frilly apron. Scrubbing at a stain on the floor. In male form. Now, don't get Akane wrong. She wasn't indulging in some weird sexism thing where guys couldn't clean up. It was more the image of it: Ranma put on this super tough guy front, acted like a real masculine stereotype at times (except for when he wanted to use his girl form to manipulate people but that's a whole other can of worms). The point was that the problem wasn't anything to do with Ranma's gender. Her problem was the personality contrast.

That and the fact that boy form Ranma looked really, really cute in that apron. It was doing weird things to her insides that she didn't want to admit to anyone.

"Not to mention how these ingredients are ordered," Ranma tutted like an old housewife. "How does he ever find anything?" He glanced over to Akane, who was standing next to the counter carrying plates. "Are you going to wash those, are you going to watch me work?"

Akane's mouth worked to find an answer. Finding none, she snapped her head away from Ranma lest he reach up for something on a high shelf and leave her feeling really warm and flustered.

"What do you think they're doing?" Akane absently asked while setting about her task.

“I dunno, whatever people do on dates usually? What kind of dates have you gone on?” Ranma asked absentmindedly.

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve never been on any dates.” Akane admitted, her crush on Dr. Tofu and the… morons that had started “asking” her in High School had made sure of that. Wait a minute. Who was she admitting that to again?!

"Eh? I'd have thought a popular girl like you would've gone on lots of dates! Don't tell me. Your uncute attitude put them all off."

"More like none of them met my standards!" Akane shot back. "What about you? Gone on any dates yourself?"

"Nope!" Ranma answered far too immediately for Akane's taste. "Went to a bunch of all boys schools, and was on the road way too often to meet with girls."

"In other words, girls didn't want an uncouth meathead like you."

She might not be able to match him in martial arts, but they were a match for each other with their tongues. No not in that sense get your mind out of the gutter. The two of them gave each other sharp looks to match their barbs. Ranma was the one to break the silence.

"You know, if I really wanted to I could get any chick I wanted."

"I could get any boy!" Akane sniffed. "But it's a man I'm after. You wouldn't know any good ones who are available, would you?"

The front door to the restaurant opened up, putting a stop to the argument before it could get any further. Huh? She was sure they'd locked that! Or... Had they only flipped the sign to read 'Closed'? Oops!

"Pardon me, does anyone here know the way to the Tendo - You!"

The new arrival was a young boy carrying a large backpack. As in, stupid large. He had this really obvious fang protruding from one side of his mouth as well. The way he carried himself reminded Akane of a martial artist, and the way he was looking at Ranma -

"Ranma Saotome, because of you I've seen hell!" the boy yelled, shrugging off his backpack and diving forward with his fist closed. "Prepare to die!"

<hr>

You know something, this was nice. A real change of pace. Sure, he may have had other intentions for going on this date but he and Nabiki turned out to have a fair bit in common.

"Pft, with those kind of prices how do they expect to make a profit?" Ukyo snorted while reading off a rival restaurant's menu. "At least, if they're getting the good stuff like they claim to be. I would not be surprised if they were using knock-offs for at least half of their ingredients."

"Rookie mistake," Nabiki tutted, shaking her pretty little head. A pretty head filled with some really devious ideas. "Never put something in writing like that. Not unless it's a truth so absolute the gods wouldn't contest it."

By this point the two of them were comfortably walking down the street arm in arm. It was nice. It was pleasant. The company was delightful if a little on the teasing side. But Ukyo was getting the sense that she was being teased by a girl who liked her. Not a girl who wanted to have fun at his expense, but fun with him at the expense of others.

"I notice you've walked me back to your place," Nabiki said, leaning into him and making sure that Ukyo was keenly aware of how fit her figure was. "Don't tell me. Heedless of my warning about my overprotective father, you have decided it's worth your time to have your wicked way with me!"

"Nah," Ukyo smirked. "I just thought it'd drive Ranma and your sister up the wall if we kissed right now."

That was a joke. Really, he'd brought her back here so the three of them could go home together.

“Akane <b>will</b> try and punch you.” Nabiki played along. Then, to Ukyo's surprise, he found himself grabbed by the collar. Nabiki standing in front of him with her eyes closed and lips puckered.

A million thoughts ran through Ukyo's head right then; Oh boy. I'm not a boy. Not really. I'm a girl who is into boys and this is also a girl who is into boys. I'm actually cursed to turn into a boy who is still into boys, but has also recently started noticing that girls are kinda easy on the eyes. True enough he had enjoyed the date tonight and Nabiki was really, really pretty and he had made that weird joke about kissing her in front of the restaurant but - Oh gosh! My body is leaning in! What does this mean? Am I gay? Bisexual? I mean what do you even categorise this as? This stupid curse makes everything so confusing! My hormones are all over the place - how the hell does Ranma cope? Is he coping? Is his super hot girl form drooling over guys but repressing it so nobody notices? Guh! Stop imagining your boy form and Ranma's girl form having sex when you're about to kiss Nabiki! No brain, imagining a threesome isn't helping!

But alas their first serious kiss was not to be, for there was an explosion within the restaurant. It blew open the door and left both Ukyo and Nabiki completely drenched in head to toe in - Ukyo sniffed. Marinara sauce? She didn't have any marinara sauce. Marinara sauce went terribly with okonomiyaki!

Ukyo's expression remained totally neutral, then shifted slightly to become the face of a man who had been blueballed for the very first time. He slowly turned towards the restaurant and unslung a ludicrously huge spatula from over his shoulder. Then he walked into his place of business with a purpose. Nay, with grim determination.

Inside he found quite the scene. Ranma in girl form and wearing a cute frilly apron. Akane Tendo holding a large empty pot and staring dead ahead with a thousand yard stare. Oh, and a little pig gnawing on Ranma's foot, but obviously not quite managing to get through the shoe.

Also, one other thing. Every surface of the room was covered in marinara sauce. Including the three aforementioned living (though this could be quickly changed) beings within. Even beyond that you couldn't call this a 'mess'. You could call it a 'catastrophe' and that was about it. Chairs were strewn carelessly about. Tables had been upturned. The little jar of straws she kept on the counter in case a customer wanted a drink had been completely spilled over, leaving all of the straws resting on the floor which meant Ukyo could not, in good conscience, hand them out to anyone to use for their intended purpose. They lay there as though robbed of their right, their destiny, their very purpose! Those poor innocent straws!

Also, the grill was <b>on fire.</b>

"All I wanted to do was make a meal so you could work out a truce," Akane muttered to herself, her tone full of horror. "How could I have known? How could anyone have known?"

"It's his fault!" Ranma yelled, pointing at his foot. "He did this! He did all of this!"

"Oh, of course it is Ranchan!" Ukyo beamed down at Ranma and began to pat the spatula into his open palm. "It's all the pig's fault. It's never <i>your</i> fault. Now, is it?"

Akane and Nabiki both picked up the bitter bite that sentence had, though Ranma and the pig did not. Though they were both martial artists it seemed as though their survival instinct was not so great. It was certainly enough to shock Akane out of her state of mortified actualisation of the nature of reality. She slipped right on past Ukyo and joined her sister outside.

"How did the date go?" Akane asked.

<B>"Take your punishment like a man!</b>

"But I'm a girl right now!"

"I'm considering proposing," Nabiki joked.

Ukyo swung his spatula at Ranma like a man possessed, “Hold still Ranchan! It’ll be just like old times!”

"In old times, you stopped swinging when I got the okonomiyaki!"

Akane's shoulders sagged. "Trust me, being engaged is not all it's cracked up to be."

Nabiki smiled knowingly at her little sister. "How did your date go?"

"Huh? What date?" Akane asked. Nabiki shrugged, then turned around and began walking off home. "Hey wait a second. Me and Ranma tonight, you can't count that as a date!"

<b>"Exactly! Since there's no okonomiyaki around, I'd best keep swinging foreeeeeeverrrrr!"</b>

Ranma reached the doorway, but then something mysteriously caught her foot. She tripped up, and sunk her fingers into the pavement out in the street. It was completely insufficient to prevent herself from being dragged back inside.

<hr>

"Stupid Ranma spoiling a perfectly good night with this stupid antics and getting away with it because of that stupid cute girly smile..." a certain girl muttered to herself in the mirror of her bedroom. Tonight had not quite gone as planned in the least. She'd been hoping to extract some information from Nabiki that she could use to exact revenge against Ranma, and wound up having to spend half the damn night making sure that Ranma scrubbed the marinara sauce from the restaurant. For an added bonus, Nabiki had returned with a maid's uniform Ranma could wear as extra punishment.

Now, one would expect that this would be sufficient to act as Ukyo's revenge. No. No, no, no. That was for tonight's antics. Ranma's debt was far too deep to be filled up that easily. He/she must suffer more. So very much more. Not even the pictures Nabiki had taken of Ranma, in girl form, wearing that maid's uniform while cleaning up could make any kind of real dent in that debt.

Ranma... In girl form... wearing the maid's outfit... Though she was back in her natural form Ukyo couldn't help but blush at that. Ooh. Maybe she had spent too long in boy form? That was still affecting her quite a bit. Nabiki too. Ooh. Nabiki wearing that uniform. Ukyo felt a tingling between her legs. A phantom erection. This was starting to worry her a bit. How much was this curse really affecting her?

"Ugh, you're still covered in the sauce too, aintcha?" Ukyo said to the pig. It nodded as if it understood her comments, and she picked it up by the bandana. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned off now. I've still got some of this stuff in my hair anyway, so we can shower together to save on water."

The pig started struggling to pull away on hearing that, but it didn't stand a chance against Ukyo's strength. Seriously though. Fancy Ranma trying to blame a little pig like this for causing such a ruckus. It was tiny, it was weak, it was defenseless... Though she had to admit it was pretty energetic.

Eh, whatever! It didn't really matter. Ukyo kept a firm grip on the pig, thrust it underneath the hot water and suddenly her hand was holding onto a naked boy's collarbone. A naked boy with muscles you could grate cheese on. A naked boy who was making the water hotter just by standing under it.

"Uh... Hi there?" the boy squeaked.

"Oh thank goodness," Ukyo sighed. "I still find boys attractive."

"...Thanks?"

"You're welcome!" Ukyo smiled at him. Then pulled out her battle spatula and sent him flying out the window.


The next day, Ryoga tries to challenge Ranma again.

Akane checks up on Dr. Tofu, things go poorly

Tsubasa and Konatsu reach the town!

Ukyo and Nabiki go on another date

Something else