Story: Own Personal Shampoo

As the sun rose over the streets of Furinkan, a lone man stood tall and proud atop a roof, peering out over the streets. His robed arms were crossed, the wind picked up his long hair and whipped it up behind him. This stoic warrior had finally arrived.

"So this is where my beloved has come," he ominously intoned. "To chase down that pigtailed cheater, who robbed her of her moment of glory. He had arrived at last to help Shampoo achieve her glorious victory. After almost 2 months of not even sending any letters home, surely she had fallen in some dangerous rut or trap!

This brave hero reached into his sleeves and pulled out his mightiest weapon, holding it aloft in the rising sun. "Have no fear my beloved! No matter how hard I must search, no matter what dark corners I have to scour my way through, I shall find you and I shall! Set! You! Free!"

He turned and dramatically pointed towards the passerby on the pavement out on a morning stroll. "Pardon me, young man! Do you know your way about this prefecture?"

The young man stopped, turned to look at him. Then looked around, shrugged and continued to run. Then he spoke up in a peculiarly feminine tone of voice for someone who was so obviously male. "Guess he's talking about someone else. Best not to make eye contact with the guy standing on a doghouse talking into a blank wall..."

Our brave hero grimaced, then produced an extremely thick pair of glasses. He leaned over and peered into what he had thought was the Furinkan skyline a moment ago, and then said aloud "Goodness, the builders work quickly! This wall was not here a minute ago."

Pocketing them again, he backflipped off the roof he had been standing on and landed perfectly in front of the jogging young man. Aha! The perfect example of his well-practised swan somersault!

"Greetings handsome male resident of this fine prefecture!" he said. The boy continued jogging, brushing past him and - by sheer accident of course - elbowed him sharply in the ribs. Clearly this was a mistake on his part, so Mousse didn't take it personally at all. He was back on his feet in no time at all, casually jogging by the charming young man. "As I was saying, I am rather new to this country and would appreciate some directions."

"Ugh... Why do the weirdos gravitate towards me?" the boy asked. Oh dear, he must have tripped! Why else would he put out his left leg like that in front of our brave, brave hero and then put a hand to his back that ensured this noble knight tumbled down the street until he collided with a most oddly placed tree. "Oops, I hope that didn't damage the postbox any," the young man said. "Gosh, all that training really has made me stronger."

Stronger, did he say?! Aha! Our hero shot up to his feet right away! Because, of course, that kind of tumble didn't hurt him in the least. No, he was used to much worse than this due to his own intense regiment of training.

"Are you a martial artist?" he asked. "If so, then maybe you can help me find my beloved, for she too is a strong martial artist! A beautiful, powerful martial artist who puts all others to shame. A fierce tigress with a warrior's -"

Oh dear. The young man had picked up the pace quite a bit all of a sudden. Aha! Of course! He must have sensed the location of our hero's one true love, and was even now leading him towards her!

"Hold fast, good sir!"

"What about me looks like a 'sir' to you?!" the young man yelled back without breaking stride. "Honestly! Ugh! Don't respond to him Akane... Just ignore him..."

Before long Mousse was keeping pace with him. Ah, what a brisk morning exercise this was. It was setting his heart pounding already, though that might be because he somehow knew for a fact that before long he would be seeing his beloved -

"Shampoo! I'm being followed by a weirdo! No matter how much I pummel him he won't stay down!"

Did he say Shampoo? Ah! Where? He looked all around, but to no avail: No sign of her anywhere! Though there was an odd whistling sound coming in from up above him. What was that sound? It was oddly familiar -

It transpired that this sound was a grand piano dropping from ten feet in the air directly above him. To summarise his morning to this point: Ow!

<hr>

Akane boggled at the sight of the idiot being crushed by a grand piano. Several questions rolled through her mind just then. For example, who was that strange robed man? Why had he been so adamant that she was a boy? What did he want? But perhaps most pertinent of all:

"Why did you toss a grand piano at him?" Akane asked the supremely sexy slave standing to her left.

"Is what I had to hand," Shampoo answered, dusting her hand. "Besides. If you can not put down bad man, it must need something with lots and lots of hitting power. So, a grand piano from great height."

"And a grand piano was at hand because...?"

"It’s better you don't know," Shampoo cheerfully answered.

Oh, is that so? Akane was not in the mood for dealing with secrets and lies right now. Looking her over, Akane slid up close to her, then looked around. Nobody to see except the idiot under the piano. So she reached across and went right for her slave's weak spot.

"Ooh! Lady Akane! Not in public!" Shampoo whined.

"Yes, in public!" Akane nodded. "Got your nose, until you talk!"

It was one of those odd quirks about this pretty foreign girl that Akane had picked up as of late. She hates having her pretty little nose touched. So, Akane grabbing hold of her like this and squeezing her nostrils together by the force of her forefinger and thumb was exactly the sort of torment she was starting to use to keep Shampoo in line.

"Tell me about the grand piano, Shampoo!"

Huh? Where was that intense killing aura coming from?

"Sh-Shampoo! I hear you suffer, and answer the cry!"

As if she had to ask! The grand piano suddenly fell apart, revealing the weird robed guy standing there with a pair of really sharp looking swords sticking out from his stupidly long sleeves.

"Mousse!" Shampoo cried, and Akane's hand shot away from her nose. Oops! That was her safe word! Maybe grabbing her nose out in public was a touch too far?

"How dare you," the weirdo said. "How dare you abuse Shampoo in this way! I heard everything! Don't tell me... You defeated Shampoo in combat, and now you've taken her as your slave?!"

"Uh..." Akane got out before the first sword swing was aimed in her direction. "Yipe!" She ducked and rolled to get away. This guy was even more nuts than she'd first assumed!

"Have no fear Shampoo! I shall set you free!"

Akane braced herself to dodge the next overhanded strike. If only she had a weapon of her own! She was a pretty proficient swordsgirl in her own right, but that required having a blade to defend herself with! But the effort was wasted, as Shampoo stepped in and caught the swinging sword between two fingers so easily and casually it made Akane keenly aware that she had a lot more work to do.

"That’s right, Akane is my master," Shampoo sniffed. She flicked the sword back, then kicked the stranger's legs out from under him. "We sleep in the same bed. We satisfy each other. It’s nice. Really nice. Akane can do things with tongue that make me feel weak."

... Huh. Was it her imagination or did that bush over there just swoon? Whatever the case may be, Shampoo strutted over to the stranger while they clamboured to their feet, then hoisted him up by his robes and smiled at him. That is to say, a smile that felt like it would last three whole years and never heat up even a single degree.

"I’m happy. Stupid Mousse leave me alone. Bye bye!"

And she kicked him in the chest hard enough to send him into orbit. With him gone Shampoo spun around and walked back towards Akane seeming somewhere between furious and happy.

"Forgive me for that interruption. He’s an idiot that doesn’t get I’m not interested."

To that, Akane nodded in complete understanding. Then tweaked Shampoo's nose again. "His name was Mousse, wasn't it?" she asked. Shampoo nodded. "Okay then. Fine. Alright. We're having a meeting with Ranma about the latest annoyance to enter our lives."

It was funny. She had just now seen that Shampoo was strong enough to kick her ass six ways from Sunday and have enough left over to take her to the following Wednesday, but right now she was dragging her super strong slave off home by her nose without a trace of resistance.

"Can meeting wait until after we've had a bath?" Shampoo asked. "We really stink!"

"I'd rather it didn't wait!" Akane said. She was feeling a touch impatient just now after that encounter.

"Then I have a bright idea for how we can save some time," Shampoo said, in a way that made Akane wonder sometimes if she and Ranma were actually Shampoo's slaves and not the other way around. Funny. Now Akane was getting the impression that their meeting was going to happen in the bath, with all three of them naked together. "If Lady Akane is willing to listen to her humble slave's idea?"

Gosh but her life had taken an odd turn as of late.

<hr>

Gosh but his family's lives had taken an odd turn as of late. Soun was out and about the town, trying desperately to clear his head. Fresh air was the best call for it. Staying cooped up in the house was not a healthy thing to do. New sights and new sounds were the ideal factor in helping him to think things through.

Speaking of unhealthy things: His daughter's relationship with that foreign girl. Sure enough, it had been of some help in promoting the relationship with Genma's boy. On the other hand it felt like a rather major impediment to the same. Sure there was Akane’s pure intentions of friendship, but any moment the sensual chinese viper might bite!

As a father his duty was clear! To keep the foreign menace away from his daughter before she was hurt. It was all for her own good. Akane was a good girl, but naive in the way of the world. Unaware of the temptations, subtle and profound alike. The problem was: How to approach the problem without harming his own relationship with his daughter? It wasn't an easy problem but it was one he would have to carefully weigh and consider. After all it was not as if the heavens themselves would provide the answer to him.

This was the point where a certain boy with long dark hair and a slightly too large robe collided with the top of his head. Upside down too, so that they had hit each other top of head to top of head.

Now, Soun was no stranger to such things. His training with... the dread master who must not be named had left him quite immune to little things like concussion and brain injury. All he had to do was blink very quickly for about a minute, and his internal training would take that brain injury and squash it like a waffle. He liked waffles, but the only downside to this technique was that for a brief period he would waffle about a random topic until his waffle finished waffling.

"Waffles!" he exclaimed aloud, then shook his head. "I mean, goodness young man are you alright?"

"I'm quite fine, Mister Tanuki!" the young man said. Oh dear, he must have suffered a terrible injury to his brain! "Goodness, I didn't think your kind appeared in public so easily."

Alright then Soun. It was time for you to apply that first aid training. Neither of you seemed to be bleeding. In that case, he grasped the young man by the shoulder and, as clearly as he could enunciate, asked him: "What. Is. Your. Name?"

"My name is Mousse of the Joketsuzoku."

Ah... That got Soun a bit worried. The Joketsuzoku? More of them were coming here? He swallowed nervously. "W-why are you here?" he asked. Perhaps he was backup for that Shampoo girl! In which case it would be best if he played dumb for the time being.

"Why, I am here to take my beloved Shampoo back home!" the young man said. "Oh, it's a tragedy! She has been turned into a slave by an obnoxious young man!" Ranma, obviously. "He pretended to be nice at first, but looking back it's obvious that he was deliberately deceiving me!" Definitely Ranma. He truly was Genma’s son in that matter. "Worse yet, that snake has defiled my beloved and corrupted her soul! I must find a way to purify her immediately!"

Hrm... perhaps he had misjudged this young man? Soun felt a sneaky smile creep across his lips. Oho! He hadn't felt this devious since Genma's wedding. Haha! He'd never noticed the itching powder in his clothes until it was too late! Better still he'd managed to shift the blame to the - Never mind ancient history.

"Come with me, Mister Mousse. I think we have a lot to discuss."

"If you say so, Mister Tanuki. Though I do have to ask, isn't that cowboy hat a little bit too big?"

Ah... Perhaps after he had this young man pay a visit to Doctor Tofu they could set about their cunning plan.

1. Cue the bathtub meeting between Ranma, Akane and Shampoo. With the slave trying to push her masters into being more intimate.
2. It turns out that Kasumi paid Doctor Tofu a visit just before Mousse and Soun arrive.
3. Kasumi is engaged in her own plans for setting up Ranma and Akane.
4. Something else