Alright then. Alright. Let's take stock shall we? Let's take some fucking stock. You're currently in enemy territory. Specifically, the roof of an enemy school. You are, at present, metaphorically surrounded by Hot Ass. You are currently capable of reaching out and grabbing the Hot Ass without a shred of complaint from the people the Hot Ass belongs to.
Largely because the Hot Ass belongs to you, technically.
Namiyo whimpered a bit. She didn't want Hot Ass. Especially not this much of it! Maybe? Hold on, let's make sure. She reached out. Dug her fingers into some Hot Ass which was nearby in a literal sense...
Okay, fine, maybe she did want a little Hot Ass. But all things in moderation, please!
"Squeeze it again, mistress~" Misa begged, and Namiyo pulled her hand back like she'd put her hand on a hot stove. Really regretting the use of the word 'hot' in that sentence, by the way.
Deep breath now. Deep, deep breath. Hiding on the roof was meant to 'expand her harem' somehow. Not that she wanted it to expand. But how? How the hell was this supposed to make her harem bigger? She gulped nervously. Right underneath her, there were a ton of girls. Tons of them. While she'd effectively seduced most of the swim team - Ai, Cho and Yoshi were all pretty much drooling over her. Misa was blatantly in favour of the whole lesbian harem thing.
Now, had she any sense of narrative propriety, she might have frowned at that point. Realised that Yumako and Koken were already in Eito's harem. That Mayo Nomura wasn't in either harem yet, and would be the most logical person to join in next, if anyone were to join in...
But that would be predictable, wouldn't it? That was far too easy an answer. Too straightforward. The point of a story is to guide you down a path, make you think, make you consider, occasionally surprise you, constantly delight or sadden or scare you, and one does not do that by making the path a straight one.
<i>"Hey, I thought it was you two!"</i>
Great, now she was hearing things. Just what she needed at a time like - Hang on, that voice was familiar. Unerringly so. Wasn't that -
Upon turning around Namiyo found herself looking at a tiny little flying machine with a teeny little camera on it.
"Sae, where the hell did you get a flying spy camera?" Namiyo asked.
"Um, really?" Misa muttered. "Sorry to break the fourth wall, but that's where you're having trouble believing in things?"
That was an annoyingly fair point. Mostly. I mean, sure, this was positively mundane compared to a machine that could supposedly unerringly predict and manipulate the future, and had (for reasons that might forever remain a mystery) decided that it would drop a harem of formerly straight girls right into her lap, but still. It was also a little too weird for a normal person to have.
Then <b>again</b> Sae wasn't exactly normal either, was she?
"The fuck are you doing, Sae?" Namiyo demanded. "What sort of lunacy are you up to this time?"
<i>"Ever since I woke up this morning with those unnatural changes to my physique, I've been thinking about how the heck that happened!"</i> Sae said through her little spy gizmo. <i>"There's only one explanation!"</i>
"Chise Watanabe?" Namiyo ventured.
<i>"There are only two explanations!"</i> Sae course corrected. Namiyo let out a weary sigh. Right, of course. <i>"Clearly, an enemy school has decided to sabotage us, and the most likely culprits arrrrre?"</i>
"The school that Chise Watanabe, known mad scientist, attends?" Namiyo ventured.
<i>"Exactly!"</i> Sae's little toy bounced around excitedly. <i>"That's so obvious, right? Right? But that's exactly what they'd want you to think!"
What else could she do right now but sigh wearily. She'd try to refute the logic, but she knew already that there was no real logic to be found around these parts.
"Soooo, you came to PS#9 to check out if they had a bustinator 3000?" Misa asked.
"Don't try to understand her reasoning, it'll drive you mad," Namiyo warned. Urgh... Wait a minute. Wait a freaking minute here. Wasn't her next command to come up to the roof? Then wear a clown wig and recite the alphabet backwards.
No. No, no, no. No, absolutely not. She wasn't going to do that, nuh uh, no way, especially with Sae right there watching on her little spy device. Besides which, free will existed. It totally, absolutely, 100% existed. She could choose to not do what the computer told her -
But then... Hold on, wasn't her thinking here a little backwards? It was the same kind of conspiracy theory schtick as Sae's bullshit. The same lack of reasoning, the same unwillingness to confront the facts. Shouldn't she be testing this out rather than ignoring it?
Think about it. Really think about it for a second. How the hell was her, being up on this roof, wearing a freaking clown wig and reciting the alphabet backwards supposed to enhance the size of her yuri harem? That was ridiculous. Absurd. A downright obscenity to common sense and rational thinking.She should not indulge in the same conspiracy theory thinking as Sae. Instead, she should be testing her beliefs with an open mind. If, for example, she did just as the computer said and literally nothing happened, then surely that would validate her beliefs?
"Here you go~" Misa chirped. "I grabbed this from downstairs right before that teacher came by."
<i>"Namiyo! Your head has been attacked by a rainbow coloured parasite! No doubt seeking to harvest your thoughts and turn you against me! Quickly, there's only one escape!"</i>
"Recite the alphabet backwards?" Namiyo rolled her eyes. Misa stared at her with big doe eyes. The little spy gizmo got really close to her as well. "Seriously? I'd better not see videos of this online, or so help me, I'll - Uh! Z! Y! X! W!"
=====
reclined on the roof of PS#3, smiling to herself. She'd been worried about those two idiots when they didn't show up today, and it turned out? They'd already made a headstart on her. Investigating the enemy territory on their own. Seeking answers and doing it in a braver, bolder way than she ever would.
That is to say - the stupid way. She shook her head and chuckled under her breath. Heading in like that with no backup, and since they were on the roof, no exit strategy? She shook her head again and -
Ooof, her boobs were really sensitive like this! She looked down at them again and adjusted her uniform. She wouldn't be able to swim like this. That is, unless she worked out a way to undo the effect.
Now, she was working on several theories about this. Namely, that there was a deliberate wicked sinister conspiracy at foot to interfere with the upcoming swim meet. Yes, it was petty. Yes, it was small scale - but the best conspiracies so often are! The big ones? They need too many people to work right. Small ones? Yeah, that's easier to keep secret. With the right people in the right place you can do a lot of damage.
Case in point, though she hadn't realised it yet.
<i>"C! B! A! There, I'm done! See? Nothing happened, get this stupid wig off me - "</i>
That was fun. Pushing Namiyo into embarrassing herself was a little delight, and -
<b>"Voiceprint recognised! C! B! A! Get this stupid wig off me."</b>
Huh? Wait, that wasn't one of hers. She looked around frantically trying to find the source. What the hell...? Right next to her, a little panel on the roof opened up, and up popped....
An actual honest to goodness hypnotic spiral. What the hell was this?! Was this someone's idea of a joke? Having this thing spin around in circles, as if trying to hypnotise her?
Hypnotise her?
Hypnotise her?
Hypnotise her?
Needless to say but she was drooling like an idiot, with her eyes spiralling more or less immediately. Mind primed to obey the very first instruction she heard, and then?
<i>"How was that supposed to expand my harem?"</i>
Expand her harem. Expand Namiyo's harem. Now, alright, the nitpickers of you out there are probably going 'oh, that's not a command, that was a question', but you're behaving as if the human brain is a logical thing that compartmentalises things in rational ways. Brain heard a command first, then only later realised it was a question, by that point it was already inputting itself as a command that Sae absolutely had to obey.
Expand Namiyo's harem.
<b>Command received!</b> the recorded voice said, and then retracted back into the roof. Though now, one must surely wonder: Where else had Chise's father laid these little gizmos and gadgets all about town?
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