Story: Furinkan Boy's Club

 

After Akane left, Akari immediately moved to clean up the living room. She wasn’t a neat freak or anything - she lived on a working pig farm, after all - but a clean space helped her think. And it has been so nice to have a friend like Akane around. It reminded her she wasn’t alone in this strange little corner of Tokyo.

She’d been nervous when her family moved into the Furinkan district. The place had a bit of a reputation, and not the kind that made you want to hang up a “welcome” sign. People talked. They said the whole neighborhood was… off. Not dangerous, just - well. Bizarre.

Supposedly, there were martial arts for practically everything. Martial arts tea ceremony, martial arts rhythmic gymnastics, even martial arts takeout delivery, which featured an annual race involving motorbikes, rice boxes, and more property damage than an actual typhoon. No one even questioned it. The schools there, especially Furinkan High, didn’t just tolerate this sort of thing. They structured their curriculum around it.

She picked up a cushion and gave it a firm whack to shake off the dust. Mid-swing, she stopped. The schools in the Furinkan area all had martial arts gymnastics clubs. As in, clubs devoted to teaching girls how to fight using gymnastics tools. Ribbons. Hoops. Clubs. Ribbons, for heaven’s sake. Deadly, precision-ribbon combat.

They trained for tournaments. They practiced combinations. There were official uniforms, weight classes, and rules. Somewhere, someone had sat down with a straight face and worked out a point system for aerial somersault attacks using uneven bars. And the teachers went along with it. They handed out grades.

Imagine walking into a gym and watching two girls beat the absolute stuffing out of each other with floor exercise routines. Now imagine someone giving them scores and reminding them to stretch afterward.

That’s insane. That is actually, just about literally insane.That was the Furinkan district in a nutshell. 

Really think about the kind of person who invents competitive martial arts skating with deadly grace, and then think about the group of people who hear that idea and say, “Yes. That should be part of the academic year.” Akari stood there a moment longer, cushion in hand, contemplating the sheer, institutionalized madness of it all.

And yet… Akane didn’t seem to find it strange. Not even a little. She talked about it like someone might talk about rush-hour traffic or noisy neighbors - mildly annoying, but hardly worth dwelling on. Maybe that was just what happened when you were born and raised in the middle of it. Weird became normal. Chaos became background noise.

Then on top of all of that toss in that little incident from before she'd arrived where Akane and the rest of the girls from their class all got dunked in the spring of drowned boy that was, for some bizarre reason, underneath the girl's locker room. No one shut the school down. No one brought in a priest. They just… put up a wet floor sign. Had a male janitor mop it all up so they could safely dispose of it. Told the parents about it. Then everyone just... sorta went about their business like it was no big deal.

Akari shook her head and resumed her cleaning. The house had to look nice tonight. Ryoga was coming over.

She swept up a small trail of straw one of the piglets had tracked in earlier and tried not to think too hard about whether he’d actually make it. She’d left a very detailed map - three, actually - and marked every tree, signpost, and vending machine between here and the station. She even asked Ton-chan to walk the perimeter and leave a scent trail, just in case.

Ton-chan, currently lounging on the engawa like some giant shaggy nobleman, let out a sleepy grunt. He’d already had his snack, his brushing, and what Akari considered a heartfelt conversation. He didn’t say much, but the snorts were supportive.

She gave him a little smile. “Big night tonight.”

She walked to the hallway mirror and looked herself over. Dust-smudged sleeves, hay in her hair. Typical Unryu chic. Time to change. As she headed upstairs, Akari found herself thinking - not for the first time - that she didn’t really have room to judge anyone else’s weirdness. Her family raised pigs for sumo wrestling. Not food. Not truffle hunting. Wrestling. Who else could say they had handwritten genealogies for a dozen champion boars, complete with fighting styles and signature techniques?

Talk about a niche role, hrm? Still, her weirdness felt… stable. Pigs didn’t teleport across rooftops. They didn’t accidentally destroy tea shops. They didn’t misplace entire weeks because they couldn’t read a map. (Okay, maybe one of them had gotten lost in a library once, but that was a special case.) Pigs were rather wonderful like that.

She changed into a light pink yukata with plum blossoms and tied her obi with practiced ease. Simple. Soft. Not too flashy. She didn’t want Ryoga to panic and knock over the table again. He was sweet, really. Earnest. A little rough around the edges, but with this almost painful sincerity that made her heart tug whenever he apologized for something he hadn’t even done wrong. He tried. That mattered. A lot.

A distant thump echoed from the back gate. Then a metallic clang. Then a sharp, unmistakable “BWAAAHHHHH” that could only come from one human being on Earth.

Akari paused. Waited. Another crash. A loud grunt. The low squeal of a toppled pigpen gate. She smiled.

“Close enough,” she murmured, collecting the tray of rice balls and tea she’d prepared earlier.

Ryoga had arrived. Tonight would be lovely. Chaotic, maybe. A little crooked around the edges. And, as she stepped downstairs to greet him...

"Bweee!"

He was in the form of an adorable black piglet. Eeeh~! Akari's heart rate spiked at the sight of him. So cute! He leaped at her, and she grabbed him, pulling him into a tender embrace. Whirling around happily, ecstatic at the sight of him. Oooh, so cute! So endlessly, wonderfully cute!

"Good evening Ryoga~" Akari chirped, as a thought occurred to her. The gait to her step became a lot less innocent all of a sudden. She moved Ryoga to her bosom, and held him there tightly. No complaints from him. "You know, Akane was here a little while ago."

"Bwee!" Ryoga nodded, and snuggled into her breasts.

"Yes, yes, you just missed her," Akari giggled. She bit her lip. For a while there, she'd had a serious crush on Akane's boy form. It was almost impossible to not. Total hunk right there. Total. Absolute. Hunk.

But she had her own slice of man meat right here, didn't she? Tee hee! Akari kept him cradled to her bosom while strolling upstairs towards the bathroom. She set Ryoga down upon a stool, patted him on the head. "Stay right there, sweetie!" she giggled. "Let me put on a show for you, 'kay?"

Ooohh, but Akari was feeling so downright naughty ever since she'd met Ryoga. There was something about him that really got her going. It was not just his physique, and no, it wasn't his adorable piggy form either. There was a real connection between the two of them that went beyond cuteness, beyond desire, and into something else entirely. They clicked, they fit together, and the only two that fit better together were those two tsundere idiots who could play dumb all they wanted, but they were still banging on the regular.

Of course, just because there was that emotional connection didn't mean that there wasn't also a powerful physical one either. It would probably look strange, what she was about to do, if you didn't know the context, but Akari Unryu was about to do a hot, steamy striptease for a tiny and adorable wide eyed black piglet.

She began by tugging the ribbon off from around her collar, while slowly and methodically rolling her hips. She ran that ribbon through her teeth until hitting the middle, then bit down on it and raised her hands above her head, gyrating the entire time. Keep it slow. Keep it sensual. Build the anticipation. It's called a striptease for a reason.

Akari's next move was to flicker her hands down her front, unfastening her blouse a bit at a time. Just the top three buttons, mind. Tugged her neckline open, leaned over, then dipped her finger into the water - still on the cold side - and let it drip down into her cleavage. Ooh, it made her shudder involuntarily, but she worked it into the act.

"Bwee!" Ryoga happily snorted. Oooh, he was so cute like this! Akari had to resist the urge to scoop him right up and squeeze him tight!

Instead, she turned her back and finished undoing the rest of the buttons on her blouse, and after each button, she slid her shoulders out. First her left. Then on the next button, she covered up her left to reveal her right. Then, having reached the last button, she revealed them both at one, turned around to rest her cheek on her shoulder and pouted at him. She used that to pin the blouse to her body, ensuring it didn't drop while her hands started to work at her skirt, shimmying out of it a little at a time, until -

She let go of both at once and stood there in her underwear, wiggling her butt at him, while Ryoga got himself a cute little nosebleed. Hehe! That's right, you enjoy yourself, Ryoga~ For next up, Akari reached behind her back and unclipped her bra, then turned around with her hands over her breasts, while she lifted her leg and dipped a toe into the water - 

"Oh, that's hot enough now!" Akari said. With one hand, she scooped Ryoga up and dropped him in the water. With the other, she tossed her underwear aside. Not gonna be needing that! She stepped into the tub to join her boyfriend - 

Who transformed instantly from a cute little pig to a slab of manly beefcake. Yum yum!

"Did you enjoy the show?" Akari asked.

Ryoga was beet red and unable to look directly at her. Which made her giggle and pull him into a tighter embrace. Oh! She was so glad to have herself a boyfriend! Tee hee!

=====

Now, Nabiki was absolutely loving this shit.

Seriously! There was so little not to enjoy. Watching Akane flail her way through the curse? Comedy gold. The rest of the girls taking to their new bodies like fish to water while Akane tried to muscle her way back to normalcy? Delicious. Daddy suddenly deciding now was the time to teach Akane “real martial arts”? Please. Sexism and patriarchy had finally come around and started doing her work for her.

She might have even cracked a smile the first time Akane got tossed into a pond mid-tantrum and came up sputtering, voice cracking like a preteen boy.

The best part? She genuinely liked having a “little brother.” Not in the warm, fuzzy way, obviously  -  she wasn’t Kasumi. But watching Akane try to swagger around in baggy jeans and a baseball cap, all attitude and no plan? That was entertainment. And sure, maybe Daddy was projecting his "heir to the dojo" dreams a bit hard, but honestly? Akane was more fun this way. Unpredictable. Easier to mess with.

Then Ranma showed up. And oh, that was the cherry on top of the cursed sundae.

He was a mess. A hot mess. Literally. Nabiki was no fool. She'd seen plenty of attractive people, but Ranma had that particular brand of disaster charm that made her want to watch from a safe distance, with popcorn. Akane, of course, was doomed the moment she laid eyes on that stupid red shirt and ponytail combo. The curse only made it messier. Testosterone was clearly scrambling her little sister’s brain - all those hormones sloshing around every time Ranma walked by? It was hilarious.

Not that Nabiki could blame her. She’d caught herself looking too. More than once. In both forms. Against her better judgment. The guy was an idiot, but damn if he didn't have the kind of looks that sold magazines.

And that… was the problem in a nutshell.

She had tried to monetize the situation. She really did. First instinct: sell photos. Tease. Blackmail. Get ahead of the chaos. Classic Nabiki. She’d started strong  -  got some candid shots of Sayuri arm-wrestling Yuka in gym shorts (sold out in minutes). Akane glaring like a wet cat in her uniform shirt two sizes too big? Gold.

But then… They got cute. Worse, hot. Some of them leaned into the gender swap in ways she hadn’t anticipated. Yuka got all charming and low-voiced, Sayuri had the confidence of a pop idol, and Akane, well, she was clearly a disaster, but occasionally pulled off “brooding shounen protagonist” by accident.

And Nabiki, despite herself, found it increasingly hard to keep the usual ironic distance. She sighed, staring at her ledger where the numbers weren’t adding up the way they should. Too many missed opportunities. Too many awkward moments where she got caught watching a little too long. It was hard to focus on the grift when your marks kept walking around with shirt buttons undone, being all cool as cucumbers.

“This is ridiculous,” she muttered to herself, leaning back in her chair. “I am not catching feelings for a bunch of cursed idiots.” She paused and frowned. “…Am I?” No, let's not be ridiculous about this. She's Nabiki Tendo, not some cheap date. She should be making them all hot under the collar, not the other way around!

Bah, whatever, she needed to take a walk to clear her head. Must be something about Jusenkyo curses, at least those that flip your gender. Makes you into catnip for your original sex. Whatever. If she had to spend one more night hearing those two make out in their sleep, she might go stir crazy. These walls were thinner than those two gave credit, you do realise!

Yeah, a good walk around Furinkan ought to clear her head. Get all the stupid horny out of it. If that didn't work, she'd take a nice cold bath and hope that did the trick - though if it did, it would be a temporary respite. Not like she could simply do that at school, right? Best to get away from the horny nonsense for long enough for her to -

"Ohohohoho!"

Huh, that's weird, normally she's really good at ducking Murphy. Had the bastard updated his algorithm? Or was she getting sloppy? Either way, Nabiki was gonna duck around this corner here because the last thing she wanted was running into Kuno's crazy sister when she didn't have her 'anti-bitch' spray on hand. Even she didn't mess with that girl, she took things personally and had little problem using literal chemical warfare to fuck you over.

Nabiki Tendo didn't get to be the Ice Queen of Furinkan by fucking around and finding out. Know your targets. Pick them wisely. She was simply going to hang out here and watch as Kodachi went by - Arm in arm with some other girl she didn't recognise. Blonde, pretty, basically the aesthetic opposite of Kodachi, in the sense that where Kodachi was dark, this girl was light. Lighter hair, lighter clothes, her face was still kinda noble but in a totally different way that was throwing Nabiki for a loop.

"Of course, it is only natural that I, Asuka Saginomiya, would prove to be the better woman!" the blonde woman said. Her voice was every bit as haughty as Kodachi's, but where the Black Rose had her thorns, this woman's voice felt more like silky velvet. Which made her more dangerous, in Nabiki's book! "Now then, shall we away to my place, or to yours?"

"Mine, I think, would be preferred!" Kodachi said with an odd twinkle in her eye. "I have an idea for some creative uses for the ribbons in my room! Ohohhohoho!"

Right! So much for escaping the horny. Nabiki pinched the bridge of her nose, and resolved to completely pretend that she hadn't seen that. Or heard that. Or imagined what she'd just imagined.

"Wait, weren't Ranma and Akane on some stupid date with those two...?" Nabiki grumbled to herself. She shook her head and tried not to think about it. "Oof, I'm worse off than I thought I was,forgetting that detail! Hum... Maybe if I pretend to be sick I can rest in Tofu's clinic or something...?"

That seemed like a good idea. Except, hold on a second - She really ought to be careful about this, right? The last thing she wanted to do was stumble into something stupid. For that reason, Nabiki didn't go to the front door of the clinic. Instead, she went to the back door. Which was a shame, because if she'd gone to the front door she might have notice a sign that read 'temporarily closed,house call, will return shortly!'

But instead, Nabiki was going to be a victim of her own intelligence. Just for a change of pace. She might be a karma Houdini, but even that great magician had his limits, right?

As such, she wandered over to the back window so she could scout the place out. In particular - if she saw her sister in there it would be safest to fuck off somewhere else. Which was a rather unfortunate way for her to think about the matter, because as it turned out - 

"Ohhhh Ono, right there~"

She got an eyeful. A real big eyeful at that. For you see, within those walls there was no less than her big sis, gentle, sweet, serene, ideal housewife Kasumi Tendo. The angelic ideal. Having sex with Doctor Tofu, the only guy around that basically anyone figured she'd ever wind up with.

Now, let's step back a bit here. If you'd asked Nabiki to imagine that idea, her big sister doing the nasty with the local chiropractor, first off, she'd make it her life's goal to make you suffer, but more to the point she'd have imagined something gentle, sweet, serene. Missionary, with the two of them tenderly kissing one another. Holding each other close, engaging in the act of (ew in advance) making love.

This was not (ew again) making love. This was a righteous dicking down. This is what you get when you have a man that knows human anatomy very, very well. Then give him an adrenaline shot. Set him loose with the girl he literally goes crazy for - and then somehow she manages to give every bit as good as she got.

Holy shit Kasumi was working those hips like Nabiki didn't know hips could be worked. The two of them were drenched in sweat. Practically throwing each other all over the place, while somehow maintaining complete penetration. Each thrust of their hips felt like it could power a city for a week. There was no sexual position they were adopting, they were being far more fluid, constantly moving, never staying still, not settling into place.

It was such a shock to the system that it took Nabiki a whole minute of watching before she remembered to be embarrassed. When she did, she slunk down with her back to the wall, cheeks redder than blood, feeling like her head might pop open from the steam mounting between her ears.

Which is when her intelligence betrayed her again. "So, I'm the only one not getting laid," she said. No, that wasn't it. "Unless you count daddy and Mister Saotome." And in three... two... one... She gagged as a particular image hit her imagination. "Urgh! I need alcohol! Must scrub brain! Get it out, get it out!"

Needless to say, but things weren't going so hot for the Ice Queen of Furinkan. Suddenly realising everyone in your peer group is getting some kind of action but you is not exactly good for the ol' pride.