Rias wasn't in a mood to mince words, evidenced by the fact that she was thinking really hard about the weird shit they'd been going through lately. Even by the standards set by being aware of the supernatural, of being a Devil, all that stuff, this was a really fucking weird week so far and it didn't seem to be showing any signs of slowing down anytime soon.
Thus, when she'd heard Sona start to behave really weirdly on the phone, almost like her personality was shifting around? Yeah, she was not sitting still for that. She was heading over as soon as possible to look into that. Guard up. No idea what could be on the other side. Be ready for anything.
Which always struck her as an amusing phrase. Should she mentally prepare for, say, her own brother riding an enormous purple bear? Or perhaps a quartet of singing giant toads sitting on Sona's desk? Actually, she should stop trying to think of absurd things to prepare for. The way this week had been going she might find one of them - or all of them - sitting and waiting for her on the other side of this door.
She knocked. "Enter!" was the clipped answer on the other side. Rias opened it up, and found -
Smack! Smack! Smack! She found... Sona Sitri cosplaying as one of the villains from her sister's show, bending Tsubake over a desk and giving her a good hard spanking.
Honestly? Compared to where her imagination had been going, this was positively mundane.
"Alright, fill me in on what's going on in here, let's get this over with," Rias said.
Sona's head whipped around to her, and there was a truly devilish look about - Rias tilted her head. That was an odd metaphor to use given the situation. It was appropriate though. Normally Sona was a fairly stoic person who might let loose a wry smile, or get a bit angry, but that expression was downright malevolent. The sort of expression someone wore when they were evil, knew they were evil, didn't care that they were evil, nor especially cared if all around them knew about it.
"Welcome to my lair, Rias Gremory," Sona said in a bow that seemed almost condescending. "Pardon, I was disciplining my minion. You know how it is, if they step out of line they think they run the whole damn show. Mwahahahahahaha!"
"Ah, I see how it is," Rias said. She pulled up a seat and made sure to sit down in it as enigmatically as possible. "Ahem. Mwahahaha! So. You called me here for something? Tell me about it."
"Indeed, of course," Sona said. "Then we can go out to suck the lifeblood of some humans... and perhaps, just perhaps, we might even get to see some pretty magical girls come to try to stop us!"
Aha. Okay. So the obsession with magical girls was still present. Looking at her, it was pretty obvious she'd fallen under the spell of yet another weird, mysterious item. Rias wracked her brains here... Sona was behaving very much like the famous villain from Serafall's television show. That was a pretty big clue. If she'd been persuaded to wear a costume like that, which made her behave like the fictional character... that was probably the ability granted by this new item. In which case, the best thing for Rias to do would be 'avoid putting on anything strange'.
Which was easy enough to say... until she saw something fly in through the window. A little black envelope.
"D-Don't touch th-that!" Tsubaki squeaked out, still bent over the table, unable to rise. "Ah! Ah! After - After Sona received a letter like that, she began to act strange!"
"Strange, am I?" Sona yelped, bringing up her hand and slamming it down onto Tsubaki's rear. "I'll show you strange! I'll make you beg for more spankings by the time I'm done! Pleasure will be as pain to you!"
"Ah! Ah! N-No, Sona! Stop!"
Biting her lip, Rias hesitantly approached the envelope. So this was the cause of it, huh? She had half a mind to destroy it right there and then... but when she saw her name engraved upon it, she felt a compulsion to open it up, just to see what lay within. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but her body was moving automati-
<i>"We'll tell the whole Devil world all about your lewd antics with Issei Hyoudou, and the strange items you've been trying to hide away from them."</i>
Rias crunched up the letter and began to twitch nervously. Oh no! That would be bad! The sheer amount of chaos that would cause! There would be Devils from every house wanting a piece of them, trying to study them, emulate them - use them to further their own political ends! It's the main reason she'd tried to avoid calling in her brother so far, tried to keep it hidden from anyone and everyone!
Her heart pounded in her chest. She'd do anything at that moment to keep this from getting out. Absolutely anything.
The phone rang. Sona swanned over to answer it like the villainess she had become. "Yes?" she asked. "Oh, I see. She's to put on the costume that arrives, <i>or else</i>? Please. You call that a threat? You didn't even let loose a maniacal laugh! Tsk! Amateur!"
Then she slammed the phone down. "Message for you," Sona said. "Though I'm not especially impressed. When they threatened me, it felt much more intimidating."
Rias got it now. The letter was how they got Sona to put on that uniform. Knowing that didn't help any. In fact, it did nothing at all to help her situation. She had to act quickly. She felt like she would feel compelled to put it in to relieve this pressure, the instant it arrived! But she couldn't leave... That would mean the person blackmailing her would tell everyone!
But what she could do was use the telephone to make an internal call. To the Occult Research Club room! Akeno should still be there, and she would have a clear enough head to help her sort through this mess. At the very least provide an outside perspective that wasn't tainted by -
"Mwahahaha, oh, I can hardly wait to feast upon their immortal souls!"
That.
Come on, come on... Pick up the phone! It could arrive at any time! <i>"Hello?"</i>
"Akeno! We have a problem!" Rias said. "There must be more items around -"
<i>"I know. Issei has encountered a few as well."</i>
Issei has...? Never mind that, she'd find out the details later!
"I'm on a time crunch, fill me in later on," Rias said. "Listen. I've received a blackmail letter. It's going to compel me to put some enchanted clothes on when they arrive. Sona's already under the influence as it is, and I... I... Oh no."
A little bat was flying in through the window. Carrying, of all things... a bridal gown. Rias felt her hand start to tremble. So that was it then? She had to become a 'bride', or let chaos run amok within the Devil world? Well... more chaos than usual?
<I>"Castle,"</i> Akeno said. Ah? Castle? <i>"Bring the gown here, then get dressed. They didn't say anything about where you had to put it on, right?"</i> That was true. Though what Akeno could be thinking right now was beyond her, so... She grabbed the gown. It felt soft. Surely it would be better to put it on than let the Devil world find out what was going on here, right...?
Deep breath! This was an ability granted to high ranking Devils like herself, which enabled her to instantly swap places with either a Rook in her peerage, or an unused Rook piece. In this case, Rias focused on the Rook piece in the ORC - She didn't know where Koneko was currently, and didn't have the time to ask. She then instantly teleported there, with the bridal gown and -
Found herself in the club room, face to face with a busty redhead wearing a nun outfit.
"My diagnosis - high stress levels!" the girl said, pushing something into her hands. "My prescription is, you will relax and not feel the need to put on this bridal gown if you let Issei kiss you. Issei...?"
Huh? What? Rias felt terribly confused about what was going on, until she felt Issei kiss her and all of a sudden she felt <i>amazingly</i> relaxed. As in, the kind of relaxed you don't get to feel unless you've had a deep, deep tissue massage right after spending a good hour meditating in a warm, comfortable place. Her concerns melted off of her, and then -
"Well done!" clap, clap, clap. "Are you enjoying yourself, Rias? That's no way for my bride to be to behave!"
She recognised the voice right away, but... She practically melted off Issei, her eyes half lidded, muttering "Yeaaaaah..." sleepily, finding it very hard to care right now. She hadn't felt this relaxed in a long, loooong time.
"Can we help you, Raiser Fenix?" Akeno asked. "It's quite improper for you to appear without informing us in advance."
"Hrmph," Raiser shrugged. "Quite an ingenious thing you did there, having that girl use her item to break the spell of my Blackmail Letter... So? Why don't you tell me a little more about what's going on around here, I'm <i>fascinated</i> by what you have to tell me."
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