Alright. So, here they were. Talking with yet another pretty woman from his pop's past. Sitting down for tea while waiting for him to show up.
"My word, it's amazing how much you remind me of your father when he was your age," the mysterious woman said. "You have that same handsome cluelessness about you that he did, that same cocky bravado."
Could someone please pick these weights off Ranma's back, they were starting to annoy him. Seemed to be made out of 'comparisons to his old man', and 'visions of his own future'. This chick... Aside from being pretty, she was fairly unremarkable in appearance and attire. A plain flowery dress, shoulder length brown hair and a generally peaceful aura all about her. If you stuck her in a crowd of people, Ranma would have trouble picking her out.
"Usagi Jin," she said, bowing slightly while introducing herself. "Your father and I grew up next door to one another, and used to play all the time."
"... A childhood friend?" Akane mused. "That sounds familiar."
"Huh? Yeah? It does?" Ranma asked, genuinely having no idea what she meant by that remark. She shot him a Look, which meant he was probably getting an earful later. Ranma coughed, eager to change the subject. "So, uh, you've not seen my old man in a while, huh? What brings you around now?"
"Oh, nothing much!" she said. "I found something that reminded me of him, that's all! You know how it is, you're in Egypt excavating a freshly discovered tomb of a long forgotten Pharaoh, fending off his curses, when you suddenly get the urge to call in on an old friend."
She then leaned in closer to Ranma.
"You really do remind me of Genma, you know. You look so much like him."
"R-really?" Ranma replied, feeling oddly nervous at being scrutinized like this. "Most folk say I take after my mom - "
Thunder struck from somewhere nearby, leaving an odd silhouette of Ms Jin. Her smiling face, framed in this light, seemed a lot less friendly and easygoing than it had a moment ago. Then, just as suddenly, the sky was clear again. Huh. Weird.
"That would be... No-chan, right?" Usagi asked. "Yes, yes, I can. I can see that now. Teehee. Oh, No-chan! She was my cute little junior, always begging me to teach her how to cook. Why, would you believe that one time, she even managed to spoil some rice? Or that she used to mix up salt and sugar all the time? Every. Time. Without. Fail?"
"They look so similar, it's such an easy mistake to make!" said Akane, his wife, the future mother of their children. Maybe he should take on all the cooking responsibilities once Kasumi was gone and it was just the two of them?
"And then, when I had finished teaching her. Everything. I. Knew. She went. And married. Genma. Ha. Ha. Ha."
Was it getting darker around here, or was it just Ranma's imagination? It felt like the lights were dimming all around them. The same with Usagi's mood. She wasn't quite as upbeat or chipper as she had been when she'd arrived.
"Anyway!" Usagi clapped her hands together. "Did your father ever tell you about the time he saved me from a vampiress who was completely obsessed with him? She tried to turn me into her personal servant by feasting on my blood!"
At this point the two of them had a pretty solid idea of who she meant.
"It was my fault, really! I mean, how was I supposed to know that creepy estate had a vampire in there, or that the sealed rice cooker with the enormous 'do not disturb' sign next to it painted in blood would be dangerous to open? I mean, it was sitting right there in the middle of all those booby traps and, wicked enchantments, how was I supposed to know not to open it?"
Oh no. Oh no, she's that sort of person. A total idiot who barges in without thinking and causes trouble for absolutely everyone she meets. No, it might even be worse than that! She might well be a magic magnet, too.
"So, you said something about a tomb in Egypt?" Ranma said, the volume of terror rising in his voice with each spoken syllable. Next to him, he could feel Akane starting to bristle as she caught on as well. "What, exactly, did you happen to find?"
"Ah, that's amazing, that's the same way Genma used to speak in whenever we met up!" Usagi gasped. "Teehee, 'what did you find this time, Usagi' or 'For the love of God Usagi, stop'. It's really cute. It's a shame you're already married, you'd get on great with my daughter."
"No. Don't. Don't even go there," Akane interrupted, holding up her hands in an X. "We've got enough weird girls after him already, we're all full at the inn."
More thunder crashed, and this time Usagi's eyes were wide open during it. The sight would haunt Ranma's nightmares. Made a nice change from a horde of ghost cats, but even so, pass the brain bleach please.
"That's. A. Shame," Usagi said. "Lots of girls. Gathered around him. Is that so? Just like his father. Are you also a strong martial artist, like your father?"
"Like pops?" Ranma scoffed. Ah, yes. If anything could get him to overcome the goosebumps dancing along his skin, it would be a chance to brag. "Please, I'm stronger than him already! Passed him a while back."
"Is that so...?" Usagi asked, tilting her head a bit. The lights started to return a little. "Then, good! You'll do instead!"
"He'll do for what?" Akane asked.
"Rescuing my daughter from having to marry an ancient Pharaoh, which would complete an ancient ritual that will bring one thousand years of darkness to all mankind as the living are ruled by the dead."
Silence hung over the living room for a long, long moment.
"You know, the usual," Usagi said.
You know, Ranma was getting the stark feeling that the reason his pops married his mom instead of this chick, it had nothing to do with cooking. Call it a hunch, but this childhood friend might look like a generic pretty chick, but she was dangerous beyond belief.
"I ain't going to Egypt," Ranma warned.
"Not to worry, apparently they randomly decided the best place to do this would be some mansion out in the forest," Usagi chirped. "Something about a mirror...?"
Oh no, this gets better and better. That place? Of all places?! If this woman had stayed friends with his old man, he might not have lived long enough for Ranma to be born! How could this get - No, Ranma. Don't think it. Don't even finish the thought. If you finish the thought then she'd go ahead and say something to make this even worse!
"By the way, since I'm divorced from my husband, my daughter and I share a different family name," Usagi said. "She's still a little cutie pie, but - Oh, you know how it is."
Ever since this conversation started, the phrase 'oh no' had come into Ranma's head more times than it normally did. Which was a lot to start with. Was it any wonder pops didn't leave this chick an easy way to get in touch with him? Somehow, he knew full well that he was about to hear a name he was very well familiar with come out of this troublemaker's mouth. Who the hell was her daughter...?
- Akari
- Ukyo
- Asuka
- Azusa
- Mariko
- Someone else
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