From the perspective of our Ranma, one moment he'd been in this freaky between place somehow watching herself kick Herb’s ass, and the next he was looking down at a giant hole in the ground into which he, Herb and a crap ton of rubble was currently falling.
Finely honed instincts kicked in right away, and Ranma kicked off the rubble so fast that it barely registered he was male again. Oh, hey! That explosion must have drenched him in hot water from that kettle- But never mind that. He had to get the hell out of here and -
And Herb was out cold. Falling through the air. Helpless to defend herself.
"... Dammit," Ranma yelled, and kicked off a tree branch, changing direction so he could catch the chick who had, up until that brief jump away, been kicking his ass like it had never been kicked before. He couldn't help it. Leaving someone helpless while they're in this kinda trouble - it just wasn't in his nature, no matter how much they might annoy him.
The two of them landed heavily on the outskirts of the crater their fight had formed, and Ranma laid Herb down on the ground. It gave him a chance to actually look her over and - you know what? When she's not being all growly and cocky and condescending, she's actually really pretty.
"Ranma!"
Speaking of really pretty, Akane was rushing up to him. Oh yeah, here's the best bit, where he got to be all cool and show off for his girl. She'd swoon over him, check his injuries, bandage him up and -
"That was so cool!" Akane said.
"I know, wasn't it?!" Ranma said, barely able to contain himself. "That explosion was so big!"
"That part where you caught Herb's own attack -"
"And turned it back against her? Using only a cloth!"
“I know!”
“Where’d you learn that!?”
“I don’t know! It’s from my Horoscope!”
"Ah, should we come back?" Mousse asked while Ryoga was staring daggers at them. Huh? Oh. Well. how about that? Without even knowing it, right now Akane's hand was inside Ranma's shirt, her left leg was hooked around his waist, and his hands were resting on her shoulders in a kinda... intimate sorta pose. Or a martial arts grapple. Depending on how you, uh, viewed it.
"Ugh, boasting about his own special attack like that..." Ryoga darkly grumbled. "Is there no end to your showing off attitude?! Is it possible for you to stop tooting your own horn for five whole minutes?!"
Well, they didn't understand the situation Ranma was in, that's the issue here. Ranma had genuinely impressed himself. That is to say, future Ranma had impressed his own past self. Man! That attack was so cool, he'd be gushing about it for days! Then, of course, he'd try to figure out how to replicate it... Wait, try? No! Succeed! Because if this time travel thing worked the way it seemed to, then... Surely he must succeed! He could hardly fail! Kukukuku! He'd be able to do something that cool one day!
"I lost?"
Herb sat up, and Ranma jumped aside, dragging Akane with him and making damned certain that he was in between the two of them. The Dragon Princess sat up, then stared hard at Ranma for a moment. No battle aura that Ranma could detect, but given how tough she was before it seemed likely she could go from zero to eighty in a second flat.
Then she giggled. An honest to goodness giggle. “Amazing! To lose to… well whatever that was!” Herb giggled again "Well done," she said clapping. "By any chance, you wouldn't have any slots open, would you? You're a remarkable man, Mister Saotome. Truly... remarkable."
"He's taken!" Akane stuck her tongue out and clung to his back.
"Uh... You could always take Ryoga or Mousse?" Ranma offered. The two boys waved their hands around desperately. No, no, they didn't want that. No matter how pretty Herb was, a marriage to her could only end badly for boys like them. You know. Idiots.
Herb looked at them, and sighed. "I guess I’ll stick with the arranged marriage my parents set up," Herb said. "Mint! Lime! You lost to these oafs?!"
“The fanged one did some kind of cheating technique when I said I was going to have his babies! He got real sad looking and a giant pillar of ki smashed me!”
“So you lost to the Shi Shi Hokoudan? A <b>mining trick?</b> OK when we get home your mother is going to hear about this.” Herb said. "And you?"
“He turned into a duck and hit me with a giant hammer.”
“...That is somehow even sadder. I'll tell your mother he wrapped you up in chains and threw you into a tree.” Herb then dusted herself off and stood up. Then she flickered, and was behind Ranma before he could blink, whispering something in Akane's ear, so quiet that he couldn't make it out even though he was standing right next to her. Whatever it was, Akane's face turned beet red, then kept going until she was redder than a tomato.
“It’s a powerful technique for dealing with men. Think of it as an apology. It’s the dragon blood, I got too into the fight.” Herb said. "You will give him strong babies. Not as strong as I would have, but... Let's not dwell on what might have been."
Implying there was the remotest possibility of that happening in this or any other world. Nope. Not a chance.
“So… wait.” Ryoga said, “We’re all just going to be OK now? All get along fine after all they did to us?”
“I don’t see why not. I’m a guy again.” Ranma said.
“Yeah Hibiki, it’s not like they <b>actually</b>killed us.” Mousse said.
“We don’t all hold grudges for stupid reasons P-chan.” Ranma said.
Eh, whatever. All that mattered now was that he was a man again, had seen the most awesome thing he'd ever do in his entire life -
<i>Second most awesome</i> a voice whispered in the wind.
Nothing else for it but to head back home.
<hr>
Ranma and Akane stood at the front gate to the Tendo home, having reached it without incident. Ahead of them, Ryoga Hibiki and Mousse were wandering off, and the two of them were waving them off.
"Akane? Why did we let those two have the map again?" Ranma asked quietly.
"You're asking me? I thought it was your idea!" Akane whispered back.
Ah. Like most bad ideas, it wasn't actually anyone's plan, it was simply that nobody had a plan, so nobody picked up on the terrible thing that was happening and therefore moved to stop it. Right. Great. Well, whatever. Tiem for them to go in and break the good news -
Why was Akane taking a deep breath? Why was she grabbing his hand? Huh? Huh?
"Ranma you idiot!" Akane yelled at the top of her lungs. Then she practically threw him in through the front gat and when he turned around, she scowled at him and poked him repeatedly in the chest, pushing him back and back and back. "Picking a fight with someone like that when you knew full well what they were capable of! Honestly, buster, you need to cool your jets and stop trying to swing higher than you can reach!"
"Hey! What's all this about?" Ranma yelled back, genuinely caught off guard by this sudden attitude shift. "I won, didn't I?"
"You destroyed a mountain!"
"Oh, that was Ranma?" Nabiki asked. She was lounging in the living room and had poked her head out to watch the argument. "It was in the news yesterday."
"Welcome back," Kasumi said. She was folding sheets. "I must say, it wasn't very nice of you to destroy that mountain and not clean up after yourselves."
"Ugh, honestly! That showoff attitude of yours gets you in so much trouble," Akane said. Again, with the finger jabs. "Is it any wonder you wound up getting your curse locked? With an attitude like that?"
"Yeah, well you're not exactly showing a great attitude either right now!" Ranma yelled back. Then Akane took a deep breath, drew up straight - and tossed her shirt to the corner of the training hall.
Huh? The training hall? When did they get -
"Hyaa!" Akane yelled, and suddenly Ranma was on the ground, with Akane straddling him and ditching her bra. Those were boobs. "You're such a loudmouth!" Akane loudly yelled, leaning her head back so that she was shouting over her shoulder and not at Ranma. Those were boobs. Her hands went for the clasps on his shirt, quickly undoing them one at a time. Those were boobs. "You put your foot in your mouth so much you must love the taste."
Then she leaned down and ran her tongue from Ranma's navel all the way up to his neck in a single go. Then she leaned in nice and close and whispered in Ranma's ear: "I'm gonna have your babies."
"Jerk!" Akane yelled, this time going for the belt around his trousers. "Dummy! Pervert!"
Huh? Huh?! Wait... Oh! Oh, now he was getting it. He was about to have sex with Akane.
"R-Rich talk coming from an uncute tomboy!" Ranma yelled towards the door. He helped her get his trousers off, which actually freed her up to finish taking her own clothes off. In no time flat he was able to handle her breasts, and a smile crept onto his face as he made eye contact with Akane. "An uncute flat chested tomboy." Then he leaned in "Not flat chested."
He felt so strange right now. A rush of emotion was overtaking him. Holding this girl close to him. The two of them hurling out insults that neither one meant. When one was screaming, the other was using their lips to kiss somewhere on the other's body. Not the lips, had to keep up the illusion of the argument. In no time flat, Ranma was hard as a rock, and he was on his back.
He'd kind of wanted to be on top, but this girl was really stubborn. Akane positioned herself over him, held it in position and lowered herself.
"Ranma you are - oh - such an - oh - stupid dumb iddddddiot!"
The look on Akane's face as he penetrated her would stay with him for the rest of his life. That smile. The little gasps of relief. It was actually kind of a relif that she'd been clever enough to think of this ploy, if the others knew they were having sex right now he'd die of embarassment.
"About time," Kasumi muttered under her breath.
"I wonder if I can pull a few bets in..." Nabiki wondered aloud.
"Ah, Saotome! What shall we do about our wayward children?" Soun wailed. "Listen to them argue, they'll never wed at this rate!"
All three of the rest of them stared at Soun in disbelief. Kasumi, Nabiki and Genma. Then, the sisters shifted their gaze towards Genma to see how he'd respond.
As it turned out Genma didn't have the heart to tell him that his little girl had lost her virginity just now. He pushed his glasses back, and solemnly said "Give it time, Soun. I'm sure they'll see sense -"
"Ohhhh, Ranma, you are <i>such</i> an idiot!" Akane yelled in blatant and obvious throes of ecstasy. I mean, only an absolute doofus would be ignorant of what was happening here.
"I don't know Saotome, I think we may need to take drastic measures!" Soun said.
- Sex scene time!
- Nabiki and/or Kasumi decide to join in.
- Ranma jumps before he can cum. Oops!
- Something else
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