Story: Curvy Rei

Let's think about castles for a minute here. It might seem a little strange to discuss them, but let's consider them anyway. Castles were built as defensive measures to protect important people or places from attack. Now, we don't just mean the big stone walls, moats around the sides. Those are the obvious defenses. There are also much less obvious ones. On the inside.

For example, spiralling staircases. Inconvenient? Yes. That is rather the idea. Any invader will have to fight upstairs, which is why such stairways would tend to spiral in an upwards, clockwise direction: Not only would this prevent any long-range weapon from being used but it would also give the advantage to the fighter on the higher ground, who will be more free to fight with his right hand than the invader. That was the sort of thinking castles were designed with. To make it more difficult for the invader to take it safely. Corridors would be full of bottlenecks, slots would exist within the walls that could be fired through, little things to give the defenders just that little bit more of an advantage over anyone that decided to attack.

In contrast: The Geofront seemed to be made of redundant corridors. Quick little ways to shuttle staff from one section to the other with minimal inconvenience or time. Sections were compartmentalised, could be shut off, could be flooded with bakelite but that just meant one route of maybe a dozen was cut off.

It seemed to Kaji as though the base had been deliberately designed in such a way that it would make invasion from, say, a marginally competent military organisation a rather trivial and speedy matter. If you had half a dozen soldiers you just about couldn't not take over if you put even a halfhearted effort into it.

Under these circumstances that seemed to be a bit of a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it gave the Reis the opportunity to slip into various different parts of the base, but on the other it gave him the means to get out a little bit easier.

"Oh, come on!" Asuka pouted. "Take me. Knock me up. A beautiful redheaded genius is throwing herself at you. How dumb must you be not to take advantage?"

Take advantage... The term seemed appropriate, but Shinji was holding himself back quite well. It was kind of adorable, really, the way he was trying to make his eyes and hands behave themselves when a girl he obviously found attractive was all but ripping off his pants.

Still. If she wouldn't shut up and behave herself, then Asuka would needlessly complicate their escape. It was a little bit frustrating, but how to snap her out of -

Up ahead of him, two Reis were sitting, naked, in the middle of the corridor attempting to suffocate one another with their lips. The only thing preventing Kaji from heading on over to judge the contest was the fact that he had conditioned himself to prick his thumb on a safety pin strategically placed on the inside of his pocket.

"Time to take another route," he said to the stunned and, if he were any judge, aroused pilots. He pushed them into a side room and hoped they weren't noticed. He hadn't quite figured out how best to handle these... Clones quite yet. And hanging around them right now seemed like it would top the list of really bad ideas that it sometimes felt like those in charge were compelled to follow.

And trust his luck, they'd arrived in the showers. Wait... Hang on a moment. Perhaps that sarcasm wasn't correctly positioned after all?

"Oh, Kaji!" Asuka fluttered her eyelashes at him. "I must be everything you want in a woman. Right? I can sense it. You want me. You want me so badly!"

Just like her. Not able to actually admit what she wants due to pride, so she tries to make someone else make the first move. Well. Sorry to be cruel about this, but... "You're right," he said. Shinji's jaw dropped, but Kaji discreetly gestured at him to calm down. "I can't hold back any longer. The one thing I want to do most right now is make you wet."

"W-well, of course it is," Asuka sniffed in triumph. In the process dropping her guard. "For someone as hot as me, it's only inevitable you would - Heeeey!"

It was a little bit awkward shoving her into the shower area when she was being quite enthusiastic about his contact. However. What seemed to help was turning on the cold water as intensely as it could get and keeping her head under it. She squirmed. She squealed. Over at the side of the room Shinji quietly gulped and tried not to stare at her. But after about a minute Kaji let her go, and so she stumbled back into the main part of the room with her finger raised.

"I just had the weirdest daydream," she said with finger raised and cold, icy cold water dripping from her hair.

"... That the Geofront is being invaded by curvaceous Reis trying to sex everyone?" Shinji meekly suggested. "And after they did both of us, they tried to make us do it too?"

"I said I had the weirdest daydream!" Asuka yelled in his face. "Daydream! Lalala! Did not happen! Honestly, Third! You have such a filthy imagination to even come up with such a -"

The door opened. Two Reis peeked inside with vacant expressions. The way they were standing there, staring at them and not doing or saying anything sort of reminded Kaji of a typical wacky sitcom neighbour. Here they were, the lusty exhibitionist Rei twins. The crowd whoops and hollers, and then someone says a catchphrase for a cheap laugh...

"A daydream!" Asuka insisted. "It was all a daydream! Lalala! Didn't happen! Did not happen! Hurensohn ! No more cheese, no more milk or fish! It gives me funny thoughts that are not real!"

"Kaji, what do we do?" Shinji asked. Good question. The Reis were slinking seductively into the room with rather blatant intentions. That was the only way out. If they wanted to escape it would mean getting by them. Which would mean touching them directly. Which meant you might as well toss in the towel right now, because at that point they were going to sex you.

"Think unsexy thoughts," Kaji advised. He pulled out his concealed pistol and trained it on the two of them. They stared at it like they didn't know what it was. Then at each other. And then they kissed, fondled the other's breasts, and - Damn, that was hot. No, no! Focus! Stick your hand in your pocket, prick that finger and try to keep your arm focused on the targets in front of you.

Which, you know, might actually be a bit of a problem. Trying to attack them while looking at them was merely inviting the hypnotic effects of their raw sexuality to overwhelm his senses. It didn't matter what part of them he looked at. Their faces, their bodies, even their hair had this mysterious allure to it that made him want to reach out and touch...

"Don't think I can do that right now," Shinji gulped. "They're so... Pretty! I can't look away."

"I'm overworked," Asuka suddenly said, pacing back and forth and wringing her hands. "Yes, that's it! I'm just overworked! I need a hobby. If I'm going to suddenly start hallucinating two super-hot versions of the Wondergirl appearing in front of me, then it must mean I'm stressed!"

The twins were stepping elegantly closer, and Kaji couldn't remember a time he'd been stiffer. That was to say, his entire body was stiff. His trigger finger wouldn't press no matter how hard he tried, and believe me that the word "hard" was very much in effect at that particular moment. Damn these things! They were insidious! How could any of them stand a chance against -

"Stamp collecting!" Asuka finally declared, pounding her hand into her fist. "I'll take up stamp collecting! That should do it! A boring hobby like that should keep my mind occupied and stop it from going into such bizarre places in future!"

The two Reis stopped. They looked at Asuka. They blinked. Then they both cutely yawned, their bodies seemed to deflate and they curled up around each other to sleep on the floor. The sight would be adorable, if Kaji wasn't so scaroused.

"Wha-...?" Shinji asked. "What just happened here?"

"Asuka talking about stamp collecting appears to have bored them to sleep," Kaji said. "It must be because she was making herself think about something with absolutely no sexual connotations whatsoever. We should try not to touch them... Maybe if we can set up an announcement over the Geofront intercom, we can put a quick end to this."

"A quick end to this?" Asuka excitedly asked. "Is there an Angel attack? Then this is my time to shine! I'll take us directly to the command centre; that's where we'll be able to make an announcement! Follow me!"

"... Should either of us tell her that she's naked?" Shinji whispered. "That Rei from before did tear off her plugsuit, so..."

"It is curious that she hasn't noticed yet," Kaji admitted. "Come on, I'll grab something for her to wear, and you as well. While you stop staring. You might wake those two up by accident."

"W-Well, I mean, if she doesn't seem concerned, we shouldn't waste time..."

"That's right!" Asuka called back, making both of them jump a little out of their skins. "We shouldn't worry about details like what I'm not wearing! Off to the control room! It's all a dream, it's all a dream, I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be normal..."

1. En route, the two encounter Beer.
2. Misato tries to escape from the room while fighting her arousal.
3. Meanwhile, some Reis escape into the streets of Tokyo-3.
4. Another character in the Geofront encounters a Rei.
5. Back with Subject, Naked, et al.
6. Something else