Story: Quadranma

Under normal circumstances, standing at the front of a classroom was the kind of thing that Ranma absolutely wouldn't be interested in. He'd stare out at the class, let the teacher speak, say a brief hello and get on with the dull part of getting on with lessons. That was normally. Were he by himself. And didn't have a girl version of himself standing next to him with an innocent twinkle in her eye, hiding the mischief being plotted away while standing there looking completely and absolutely adorable.

"Hi there!" she said with a cutesy curtsy. "I'm Ranko Saotome! Pleased to meet you all. I look forward to getting to know everyone."

"Whoa, check her out," Ranma heard a boy whisper to his friend. "Man, she's smoking hot."

"Yeah," his friend whispered back. "Maybe even cuter than Akane!"

Maybe? <i>Maybe?!</i> Were their eyes working? Ranko's cute grin was way easier on the eyes than Akane's scowl any day! One of them had bigger boobs, a trimmer waist, a cuter face and better figure in every measurable way! The very idea that they were comparable was, honestly, kind of pissing him off a little. Not quite as much as their lustful gaze, but still. It was the principle of the thing that mattered!

"This is my twin brother Ranma!" Ranko cooed, gripping tightly and playfully onto his arm. "He's so silly sometimes and forgets that I can look after myself. Tee hee!"

Without quite meaning to, Ranma began to project his battle aura across the classroom. The only three people there that didn't suddenly shrink in their seats were Ranma himself, Ranko, who was not only standing but was also apparently amused by this reaction, and Akane, who simply rolled her eyes.

"Hello!" Ranma said as cheerily as death's icy touch. "I'm Ranma Saotome, Ranko's twin brother. I've undergone harsh training all of my life in an esoteric martial arts style. I've trained in countless dojos throughout Japan and China since I could walk."

"Oh, isn't he silly!" Ranko tittered, playfully whapping the side of Ranma's shoulder. It hurt a hell of a lot more than it looked like. Sure, Ranko was a little weaker than him, but all that meant was she could lift a boulder twice her size instead of three times. Compared to anyone else in class she was still scary strong and she knew exactly how to leave a painful bruise. "Ignore him," she cooed, deliberately rubbing the top of her head up against that point she'd hit. "Like I said. He's just being overprotective. Hohoho!"


Overprotective wasn't the word. Honestly, it wasn't any of his business what she decided to get up to. His only problem was, you know, the part where she was sharing those experiences with him and the other two. Knowing this troublemaker, that was her plan the entire damn time! At the very least he seemed to have one ally in Akane. Not exactly his first pick, but someone that knew the people at school seemed like a tactically viable thing. Right? Right!

<hr>
Meanwhile, a few classrooms over, Nabiki put her felt pen away and took her seat. Hold on, you might be wondering. Felt pen? Why did she have a felt pen out? Well. She was practicing her English. Does the word "buffoon" mean anything to you? It did to her. And certainly when applied to Kuno's forehead.

It was a bit of an unusual sight, really. Tatewaki Kuno. Self-proclaimed Blue Thunder of Furinkan. Sitting in his seat. Mouth in full-on fly-catching mode. Eyes as wide as they could go, save for when he blinked reflexively. Shallow breathing punctuated by a sharp intake of breath as though he was about to speak. But - this was the part that amazed anyone who knew him - no words escaped his lips. No flowery language, no pseudo-poetry, no self-congratulatory verbal spillage.

He'd been like that since the incident out in front of the school. Shambled off to class like a zombie. Unseeing. Moving automatically. Not responding to anything said or done to him. Leaving him wide open to ridicule without ever knowing who had done it.

"Alright, class!" the teacher said. "I'd like you all to open to -"

"Who was that red-haired goddess?" Kuno suddenly asked. "With the tender lips, and the red-hot soul, and eyes bluer than the ocean?"

"And a body strippers would envy," a boy had the misfortune to quip, for in the next second Kuno had used his air pressure technique to give that boy a rather short haircut that left him whimpering in his seat, trembling in sudden, unassailable fear and terror.

"Speak not of my one true love in such a crass manner!" Kuno demanded. "Lest you feel the sting of my blade! I must know her name! I must know her -"

"Quiet!" the teacher yelled. "Kuno, outside! Buckets in the hall. I'll call you back in later on."

And through all of that Nabiki sat quietly, watching and taking notes. Interesting. It seemed as though her new friend had quite the admirer. Well, well! Her ability to pick a target was precise and perfect. Rich. Stupid. Easy to manipulate. How positively delightful.

<hr>
This was not how Akane anticipated spending her lunchtime. She had completely intended to leave it up to the two of them, actually. Let Ranma keep an eye on his own female curse clone; what business was it of hers? Well, she'd tell you what business it was! Ranko's behaviour was completely inappropriate. Embarrassing! A houseguest of theirs behaving in such a flirtatious way? That was not something she could leave well alone!

Which resulted in the two of them creeping up after her as she skipped off down the corridor, gaily as a cloud, the heads of all the boys turning to check her out as she passed.

"Are all the boys here pervs?" Ranma whispered.

"Enough to make it feel that way," Akane whispered back. Her gaze flicked up to Ranma's face as he stared at the female copy prancing off. In particular her focus fell on his lips. Her first kiss. She didn't swallow nervously. She didn't blush. Just like she didn't enjoy the kiss. Not at all.

"Come on!" Ranma said, suddenly grabbing her hand and pulling her along the corridor. "She went around this corner! I wanna see what she's up to!"

R-Right. Of course. The two of them peered around the corner, with Akane deliberately ignoring how close their bodies were, and she quirked an eyebrow at what she was seeing. The bane of her existence. Tatewaki Kuno. The boy that proclaimed that nobody could date her until they beat her in combat and then spent every day since trying to beat her while still holding back because he didn't want to hurt her. Honestly, she didn't know which part of that pissed her off worse. Could she pick "all of it"?

Anyway, back to what she was seeing right now. Kuno. The blowhard. Nervously rubbing the back of his head while Ranko was standing very close to him. Rubbing her index finger along his chest in a coyish manner. The two of them smiling at each other. Flirting just like a couple would.

Which left Akane in a rather precarious situation. Interfere in this little flirtation? Let Kuno continue obsessing over her? Or let him shift that obsession to someone a little more receptive? Then again if that happened, what would that mean for Ranma and the others? They'd have to feel the repercussions of that activity whenever they went out, but at the same time interfering would mean Ranko couldn't live a normal life either...

"What should we do?" Akane turned to ask Ranma, and all of a sudden she found herself being pushed up against the wall and - Ooh, that jerk! Kissing her again without wabawagooooo... Felt different this time. Almost as if his lips were melting her brain. Her hands reached up to push him away... But then, instead, reached around the back of his head and pulled him in closer still.

Not because she was enjoying the kiss or anything like that. She was just... Mmm... Getting the frustration out of his system. Helping him out. Not because she liked him, obviously. Just because it was the decent thing to do for someone in his weird situation. Especially when that someone knew to use their tongue. Exactly. Like. That.

<hr>
It was adorable the way they thought she hadn't noticed them following her. Really. It was completely adorable. Oh, but that wasn't the only thing that was cute. They were so perfect for each other! Both stick-in-the-muds, both in denial, and both totally hot for each other's bods. Well. If they were so intent on getting in on her business, then Ranko Saotome would show them what it meant to be a real wild child!

Who knows? Maybe she could help them cut right through the bullshit and get to the fun stuff. Like Akihito and Shampoo... In fact, maybe those two might be able to help her out a little in that sense? Oooh, yeah! Help Ranma understand the benefits of getting hitched to a good woman. Well, maybe that was pushing it a little far for Akane... A decent woman with a temper problem with whom he shared certain personality problems and general interests.

"Hey, babe," a boy said as she skipped on by. "Doing anything later?"

"Not you," she playfully replied and went on her merry way. Ugh! Totally below her league. She could do way better, and knew exactly what she wanted. Like a kid in a candy store where most of it was liquorice and there was chocolate right around the -

Yum yum, here it was now! A tall, handsome and kinda stupid kendoist. Her favourite flavour. And she should know after trying that free sample this morning. The perfect thing to fill her up during lunch.

"Hello there, handsome," she said. "I don't think I got your name this morning."

"N-Nor I yours," the boy nervously replied. He wore that nervousness like a too-small jacket. Uncomfortable, constricting, not quite a right fit for him. "It is polite to give your name first, and so I shall! I am T-Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan and captain of the kendo team!"

"And I'm Ranko Saotome," she said, firmly pushing him back against the wall with the flat of her hand. "Your girlfriend. Any questions before we make out?"

He nervously rubbed the back of his head and she trailed her index finger along his chest, wishing the school uniform wasn't in the way. Ooh, she could tell he was just as built as any of her "brothers". Yum indeed! "Well, I would like to know a little more about you first?" Kuno said uncertainly. Gosh, he was even cuter than those two peering around the corner just there! "Aside from the fact that I cannot resist your beauty, I know naught but your name."

"Ugh, to start with please don't use the word 'naught' anymore," Ranko said. She pushed herself a little closer, and smirked when his head began to dip down towards hers. "I don't like boys that say no." And then, just at the moment he wet his lips and ducked down to meet hers, she pulled away and said, "However, since you did ask, I suppose I should tell you all about... Me... And my... Uh..."

Whoa. Whoooa! What the hell? Did someone screw with the thermostat? Hot. So hot! Hang on. Wait a second here. This wasn't right. This was that damned psychic backlash from when one of the others - Oooh, boy! Oh, boy! Stuff messing around with this guy, she was gonna have to mess around with this guy. Well, that made sense to her at least.

"On second thought, I know a better way we can get to know each other," Ranko breathed. "Come with me, handsome. You'll learn more about me than you ever dreamed possible."

1. Isamu has met up with Ukyo, somehow. Things didn't go like how either thought.
2. Shampoo is doing something very interesting to Akihito.
3. Kasumi is trying to help Isamu deal with his condition.
4. Something else is causing this particular psychic feedback.