Story: Konatsu's New Technique

The relationship between Shampoo and Mousse was both simpler and more complex than it first appeared. Ever since either of them could remember, Mousse had always tried and tried and tried to get Shampoo's attention, but each and every attempt simply made him look like a complete dumbass. And then she would pound him into the dirt, hoping that he would leave her alone. After all. Shampoo was a warrior. She wanted a strong man, not some weak, half-blind idiot that kept mistaking random assorted shrubbery for her.

The part that Mousse focused on in all of that was that Shampoo wanted a strong martial artist. So he took hold of the Hidden Weapons style of martial arts, and then he got creative in a way that none of its practitioners had ever been before. He became a master in battle at using swords, maces, chains, a giant plastic duck and other countless forms of weapons.

Then, having attained this mastery, he was caught by Shampoo in the act of enthusiastically practising how to ask her out with a beehive standing in for her. Which she then knocked onto his head and stormed off. But don't feel too badly for Mousse with that misunderstanding. After all. Shampoo would've knocked it onto his head even if she'd properly got what he was up to. For all his training and all his hard work and all his innovation, stupid Mousse was still stupid Mousse.

As for the present day: Stupid Mousse was grateful for a break, as it gave him the opportunity needed to keep his beloved away from the wicked enemy of women known as Ranma Saotome, who had so blatantly deceived numerous cute girls into thinking he was, in fact, the opposite of an enemy of women and must be bedded as soon as possible. Needless to say. The thought of Shampoo allowing herself to be deceived by such a man struck Mousse in a place no doctor can heal and no surgeon can reach.

Therefore he was perched atop a telephone pole, peering out in search of his beloved through glasses so thick it was a wonder he could see anything at all. Actually... Hrm... Perhaps that wasn't the best way to phrase that? Regardless! He scanned the streets around him in search of the familiar shape of his lifelong love - There! No mistake, that was her! Walking alongside someone with their dark hair tied back.

"Saotome!" Mousse yelled. A flick of his wrists, and swords appeared out of his ridiculously large sleeves, five for each arm. He dove off the telephone pole with a mighty flip, and then rushed towards his hated enemy with full furious intention. "Get away from her, you scoundrel!"

"Scoundrel?" Shampoo asked. "Has stupid Mousse been watching British television again? Learn better insult in future!"

The person walking by her side ducked quickly out of the way of Mousse's swords, but didn't quite dodge his second attack! Aha! "Got you this time!" Mousse sneered. "Now that Saotome is out of the way, there's nothing stopping me and Shampoo from -"

"That not Ranma you trying to attack," Shampoo sighed. "That Konatsu. Also, that not even Konatsu. That dummy, dummy!"

"Huh? Now that you mention it, I suppose this does rather look a lot like a wooden dummy with painted-on clothes and face rather than a person, and I don't remember Saotome's hair being quite so long as -"

Which was about the time that Mousse noticed Shampoo and Konatsu running off hand in hand. Hand. In. Hand. Now. He couldn't see very much right now. Not the details of their clothing, nor the name of the street on the sign, nor could he tell whether that thing by his leg was a bush or a tree stump or a kettle someone had randomly left in the middle of the street for no good reason. But there was one thing that Mousse could see perfectly clearly.

Red. With a twinge of bright, envious green.

"Leave her alone!" Mousse jealously yelled, hurling chains right at a man(?) that he had never before considered a rival. "It's bad enough that one half-man is taking her away from me, I won't let another!"

"Pardon me for asking," Konatsu said while leaping in and out of Mousse's relentless torrent of chains. "We don't tend to talk much, but is he always so boisterous?"

"Yes," Shampoo sighed. "If that mean annoying. Maybe use new technique to shut him up?"

"A new technique?" Mousse yelled, increasing his barrage of hurled weaponry to the point that might make a person wonder how the hell he could even walk with all those things under his robe. We're talking knives, pieces of armour, pieces of plumbing, furniture, framed photographs, bottles, bags of cat litter. We're talking throwing everything including the kitchen sink, here. "I won't give you the chance to use it!"

This was a key and vital component of Mousse's ultimate hidden weapons technique. The Wall of Revealed Weapons could be considered his greatest masterpiece. Concerned about an opponent getting too close? Then keep them at bay with too many weapons for them to get through! Even a supposedly skilled kunoichi like Konatsu wouldn't be able to get anywhere near him. Look at him there! He was spending too much time dodging to even think about coming close, meaning that all Mousse had to do was keep on the attack and then -

"Pardon me," a voice politely said, and the next thing Mousse knew he was receiving a kiss on the cheek. "Ah?" Konatsu said. "I did not faint this time even though I was also using the double-body technique. How interesting! Perhaps I am gaining some level of mastery of this new technique after all!"

Mastery. Mousse blinked and automatically retracted his weapons back into his sleeves without seeming to do much of anything at all. Mastery sounded about right. It was strange. He could sort of feel something passing through his body, into his mind and being welcomed in like an old friend. It was a thought. A feeling. A belief. A worldview. Konatsu was his master.

"Technique must eliminate bloodlust," Shampoo sniffed. "Now stupid Mousse all nice and calm, can understand that Shampoo is trying to help Konatsu."

"I do beg your pardon," Konatsu interjected, and Mousse found himself irresistibly paying attention. "May I please enquire as to the cause of your attack? I do not believe I have offended you in any way, have I?"

"Ah!" Mousse gasped. "No, no, it's nothing! Really! I just - I was just jealous because it looked as though you and Shampoo were doing... Other things together."

"Oh, dear," Konatsu sighed, sadly shaking his head. "There does seem to be an awful lot of that sort of thing going around. Perhaps there is something in the water? Never mind. This might not be my place to say as I am but a mere -" Cute! "Humble- " So cute! - "Kunoichi -" Mousse almost died on the spot from cuteness! "But it does seem to me, Miss Shampoo, that Mister Mousse might not be so irritating if you took him a little more seriously. Perhaps he would not have such bloodlust if you were to use that medical method you used on me earlier on."

"Okay!" Shampoo said with great enthusiasm, then slapped her hand over her mouth. "What Shampoo means is would be happy to do that to stupid Mousse- Aiya! Suppose Shampoo should give it a try. Maybe he leave Shampoo alone after she relieve a little pressure...?"

<hr>
Well now. This wasn't exactly how Ukyo imagined her day going. Nope. Not even a little bit. Naked as the day she was born, tied up very, very securely - and oh, you'd better believe she'd checked - while an exact facsimile of herself put on her clothes right in front of her.

"Now you just sit there," the other her warned. "All of this is for your own good. You will thank me when this is all resolved."

Thank her. Thank her?! Oh yes, thank you so much for luring me onto a rooftop, knocking me out and then stripping me naked and tying me up! It's like a dream! Actually it would be if that was done by a certain pigtailed boy instead of an enemy ninja but that was not the point! Add in the whole "disguise self as Ukyo" thing she seemed to have going on and right about now Ukyo was not in a very good mood.

"It is unfortunate that I could not locate a more secure location," the other Ukyo said, having finished dressing. She gave a quick flip of her hair. Like looking in a mirror. "However, on such short notice this storage room will have to suffice. I shall return shortly, Miss Kuonji. Please sit tight."

Sit tight. Yeah. Like she had much of a choice. Even a cursory glance around the room said there was nothing she could cut the rope against, and this was the sort that was so thick and sturdy that it would probably take hours anyway. Her only chance of rescue was probably -

<i>"Hi, Ranma!" the ninja girl cutely giggled, holding a sock full of coins behind her back. "Whatcha doin', hun?"

"Wondering what you did with my best friend!" Ranma briefly said, and in an instant had whirled around to deliver a hundred rapidfire fists around the head of the disguised enemy ninja, tearing through the disguise with sheer air pressure and leaving her utterly helpless at his feet.

"Oh, Ranma!" Akane cooed. "No wonder I'm secretly smitten yet unable to express those feelings due to personal deep-rooted insecurities. Unlike that beautiful, cute Ukyo who has no trouble expressing them at all!"

"How?" the ninja asked. "Oh, how did you see through my disguise?"

"Did you really think I wouldn't?" Ranma asked, picking the enemy up off the ground and looking her right in the eye. "I've been watching her too long to be fooled by such a simple act! Show me where she is, right now!"</i>

"And then he'll come along and rescue me..." Ukyo said, smiling dreamily as she stared at the empty space ahead of herself. "And he'll realise how scared he was that I might be hurt and then once he's finished untying me we'll use that rope for kinky, kinky sex while Akane cheers me on..."

"Looks like the drugs are working," the ninja girl said to herself while striding off towards the door. "That oughta keep you out of trouble while I find your supposed servant... Hopefully before he turns himself into anyone else's master."

1. Shampoo finds herself justifying the growing urge to suck off Mousse as being part of her plan to undo Konatsu's harem building. While Konatsu goes elsewhere.
2. Ranma and Akane return to class, notice Ukyo behaving weirdly.
3. Nabiki notices Ukyo behaving weirdly.
4. Konatsu, Shampoo and Mousse walk into <s>a bar</s> Furinkan High School.
5. Something else