Saturday, 30 November 2013

Story: NGE Drive: Worst Damn Timing

Well, here goes with this week's winner. Not sure I'm going to write anything else this weekend.


His brain was trapped in a rather intense internal philosophical debate on the nature of man’s entire reliance upon his sensory input and memory of previous sensory input to comprehend the world around him. Given that the senses were easily deceived by, for example, the very fact of the blind spot it seems as though the world cannot be entirely what we believe it to be.

To be a trifle more specific, the debate within Shinji’s mind was going something like this:

Oh my god Asuka and Rei are making out. Wait, no. That can’t possibly be happening. This is a dream. Right? I mean, they hate each other. Hate, hate, hate each other. And if Asuka had thought I was seeing her and Rei completely naked doing anything at all, she’d have my balls served to me on a plate. Therefore, I cannot be looking at what I think I am looking at. Therefore, it must be something else entirely, like some kind of lucid dream. Therefore -

“Hey, idiot!” Asuka said, tearing herself away from Rei’s breasts (which looked a little bigger now than they had a moment ago, didn’t they?) and pouted at him while Rei peered at him over her shoulder. “What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Get over here!”

Therefore he should absolutely get rid of his clothes and enjoy the dream while he had the chance. If it was just a dream, then he surely wouldn’t have to worry about his performance or whatever, right? Wouldn’t have to worry about being clumsy or inexperienced… So he took the rational course of action, and for once that involved taking off all of his clothes in a tremendous hurry.

While he undressed, he watched the sweetest torture imaginable. While his relationship with these two girls was… well, a little bit unusual seemed like a good enough description given how little time he had to devote to it, and his brain was hardly in the mood to be any more poetic than that. He was drawn towards them both for very different reasons. At times it seemed like they were polar opposites in every single way. Was it any wonder that his imagination would conjure a scene of the two of them making out with so much enthusiasm and passion that they must surely exhaust themselves before long?

Though it was a curious thing. It seemed to Shinji that as he watched them grope and fondle and kiss and whimper and moan, something was happening to their bodies. It was almost like their breasts were swelling up even as he watched, growing a little bigger with each erotic whimper the girl made. Their skin seemed more enticing to touch, their curves a little more pronounced. No doubt he would wake up tomorrow feeling ashamed of his perverted imagination, but for once in his life Shinji was going to try to enjoy himself and let the guilt come tomorrow morning.

Finally able to toss his underwear aside, Shinji tried to stop himself from breaking out in the stupid grin he could feel threatening to form on his face. He stepped eagerly forward, anxiously awaiting the opportunity to use his dick for its intended purpose (though a little undecided on which girl would be first) and properly enjoy this lucid dream -

But just moments before his hand was able to reach out and touch the warm, enticing flesh in front of him… An annoyingly familiar alarm broke out and completely wrecked the mood.

“Really?” Asuka screeched. “Now?! Of all times now? Urgh!” she released a loud string of German profanity (and even if Shinji hadn’t picked up a little of German by now, he would’ve been able to tell entirely from the tone, inflection, and general body language) while gathering up her clothes, stomping around the room like some sort of sexy, naked dinosaur, which really was not an image that Shinji needed right now. The Asukasaurus was rather too funny for the seriousness of the situation as he reluctantly got dressed again, because he was now critically aware of three facts.

1: This was not a dream.
2: An Angel was attacking the city.
3: He had been about ten seconds away from a threesome with two girls he sorta maybe liked kinda not really sure but it would have been <i>amazing.</i>

“Stupid bra!” Asuka barked, tossing the offending undergarment aside and apparently electing to go without. Rei appeared to have come to the same conclusion, albeit a lot more silently. “Come on, we’d better get going,” the redhead demanded, grabbing both of their hands and pulling them off towards the door. “I am going to fucking slaughter that Angel! Nobody but nobody but nothing prevents the great Asuka Langley Soryu from getting off!”

“Getting off what?” Rei asked with her usual blank expression. Shinji swallowed nervously and tried not to look at either of the girls he’d come very close to having sex with. As it was, holding Asuka’s hand was threatening to make him fully erect again and right now that wasn’t something they particularly needed.

<hr>
It was funny how they had gotten so good at getting here on foot. An avoidance mechanism about Misato’s driving, perhaps? “No thanks, it’s a nice day, I’d like a bit of fresh air.” They waved their passes, strode inside and hurried down towards the changing room. Something he had honestly lost track of, in terms of how many damn times they had done this exact thing.

Though they had never done it with the two girls placing their arms around his waist and pulling their bodies right next to his, resting their heads on his shoulder as the three of them marched on in surprisingly easily maintained unison. Probably accomplished from that one time he and Asuka had that stupid symmetry training, though how the hell Rei managed it was beyond him. Whatever. The main point was, Shinji had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted to have sex. With either of them. With another girl entirely. With that wall, with that elevator, he was finding it rather difficult to stop thinking about sex, sex, and more sex.

What was more he could see it in the eyes of everyone around him as well. The men were very obviously making bad attempts at concealing erections. The women were flaunting as much cleavage and leg as they could get away with. Everyone around him seemed to be insanely turned on, and only even doing their jobs because, well…

Because of the same reason the three of them had left. Because everyone mattered in a time like this. There was no time to goof off, no time to relieve a little of that sexual frustration. Because there was an Angel on the loose. And, if it was not stopped, it would kill absolutely everyone. Survival instinct trumped libido, but even so. Shinji squeezed the butts of the girls on either side of him, and their response was to press themselves even more against him. Asuka’s earlier proclamation made a tremendous amount of sense to Shinji all of a sudden, but the hotheaded German didn’t go far enough in his estimation.

He was going to fucking skewer that Angel and feed it its own intestines, then the three of them were going home to screw. Then they would have sex. Then they would fuck. Then they would screw again and again until they couldn’t anymore.

They reached the changing rooms. Normally they would dress in different room entirely, but what the hell? They’d seen each other naked a little while ago, and would be seeing each other naked later on. Still. It was another example of glorious torture, watching these girls undress and pull on skintight plugsuits (which seemed even more tight today around their breasts, but still somehow managed to fit) was almost as much a turn on as watching them make out. Almost. Shinji doubted he’d ever actually see something that was more of a turn on.

“I am going to kill that Angel,” Shinji whispered to himself.

“Oh? Is that so?” Asuka suddenly said, rounding on him with some of the more usual fire in her eyes. Or it might have been the building frustration finding a release that she knew how to handle. Hard to tell. “Listen to mister bigshot here, ready to add to his kill count! Did you ever think maybe someone else might step up today?”

“That’s not what I -”

“I’ll tell you what!” Asuka interrupted, leaning in real close with a sneer on her beautiful face that in no way diminished his desire to kiss her right there and then but in the back of his mind he was aware that desire probably ought to have diminished. “Whichever of the three of us delivers the killing blow gets the other two as their personal sex toys for the rest of the week. How does that sound?”

Like heaven, Shinji thought as Asuka swayed off without even waiting to accept the terms of the wager. Watching her and then Rei leave left Shinji wondering who exactly he wanted to win, because right about then he wasn’t certain he’d have a problem with any one of them. The things those girls might ask him to do… The things he might get them to do for him!

He reached for the door and frowned, finally able to really think about things for the first time all day without a distracting sexy presence. Now that he was thinking about it… Everyone he had seen today was turned on. And then an Angel had attacked… A terrifying thought began to creep into his mind. It seemed like too much of a coincidence, and it would certainly explain the inexplicable alteration in behaviour. As well as his own uncomfortably persistent (especially in a plugsuit) erection. With a nervous gulp, and a prayer that the girls wouldn’t kill him later on, Shinji stepped out and prepared himself to once again do battle to save more lives than he’d ever have a chance to meet.

But of course, he was not the only one to notice the unusual behavioural patterns of people within Tokyo-3….


  1. The NERV staff try to deal with the Angel while undergoing the mother of all building sexual frustration.
  2. After the battle, Shinji struggles with deciding to investigate or indulging in a threesome.
  3. Elsewhere in the city, the real cause of the increase in sex drive considers the results so far.
  4. Certain members of NERV conduct an investigation into the unusual behaviour.
  5. Something else

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