Story: Tainted Cube: Friendshipping

Here this is. Now to work on the Love Hina one, and then I take a break from Tainted Cube. I hope you enjoy this.


Aside from a rather chaotic first two days, the first week at the Tendo Dojo was the most relaxing one he’d had in - Goodness, how long had it been? Certainly before they had gone to China. Ranma could get used to this peace and quiet; it made a rather nice change. And hey! If more of those monsters wound up appearing that wouldn’t be too terrible either, really. Pretty solid test of skill, get to show off a little. Maybe ask that Sailor V a little more about this super strength his new friend had…

Yep. His friend. Not fiancee. Friend. Akane was way too much of a clumsy tomboy for him to consider marrying, let’s get real here! Sure. She was attractive enough that the boys at school literally wanted to get her attention by taking her on in a fight and sure, he did kind of enjoy hanging out with her. But that didn’t <i>mean</i> anything, not at all not at all! Banish that thought from the mind!

So if they were friends, what did they do? Well! Akane had been good enough to show him around town. They hung out together in a bunch of places. You know, like cafes or restaurants, and one time they went to a movie. As friends. Obviously. They’d also taken to sparring together, certainly a nice change from having to deal with the stupid panda. It was much more fun grappling with a girl he was just friends with than an idiot any day of the week. She needed the help as well. Not because she was a lousy martial artist or anything (though Akane was not quite as good as she maybe could be). It was simply because, well, she had just recently acquired inexplicably a super strength enhancement and needed to learn how to control it. Ranma had figured out a couple of exercises for her to follow. Simple and easy stuff. A few punching routines into a specified target, tossing balls into a basket, holding hands everywhere they went.

Though neither of them was consciously aware of it, both Ranma and Akane’s unconscious minds were furiously working on adding “make out” and “have sex until we collapse” to the list. But they were just friends. Really. Just friends. With enough of an attraction to one another to make electromagnets jealous, and on occasion if Ranma’s eyes lingered too long upon Akane’s breasts, butt or legs he’d find himself seeing a vision of their wedding, the birth of their first through fifth child, or the time each of those kids aced their way through the national martial arts tournaments of their preference, each of them bringing home the gold…

Then there was a different kind of vision featuring a man with wings that almost seemed to be made of fire. Taunting Ranma. Mocking him. Telling him he would never save her. That he would never, ever see her again. And his heart filled with rage and emptiness, forcing him into a fight to the death with a being that could not die in a desperate attempt to save her life.

But they were just friends. Really.

“The two of you are aware you were voted cutest couple the other day, right?” Nabiki asked one breakfast while Akane fed Ranma a little fish. What? His hands were too busy fending off his father’s attempt to steal his food, and Akane was helping him out! It was just a friend helping out a friend!

“We’re not a couple,” they both said in unison, though in Ranma’s case it was a little mumbled around the fish.

“Of course you’re not,” Kasumi said. “Now please, stop playing and finish your breakfast. You have to get to school.”

“Oh gosh, is that the time?!” Akane gasped. “Come on, sweetie, we’ve got to get going!”

“Be right there!” Ranma replied, scarfing down the rest of his breakfast with a speed that could not be considered remotely human. With just two short leaps he was by Akane’s side and their hands slipped into one another’s as if entering a glove. Which was how it would remain until the moment they got to school.

“I hear bells already, Saotome,” Soun said. “My little baby Akane! She’ll make such a beautiful bride!”

But no, really. Just friends. Honest.
<hr>
“So, how are we going to split them up?” asked a boy who just so happened to be the boxing club captain. Not that one could tell with the glove upon his hand and a t-shirt that read “I knock you out” with a fist logo under the text. He kept things subtle and underplayed wherever he could get away with it.

“Honestly, guys? I don’t think we should!” said another, this one the captain of the baseball team. He sighed wearily and reached into his pocket, pulling out a picture of a certain pigtailed boy in a red Chinese shirt, hand intertwined with that of a girl in the Furinkan uniform. Both smiling. Both carefree. Both content. “I mean, trying to split these two up would be like dropping a live grenade into a bag full of kittens. I’ve been in the same class as her since the beginning of middle school, and I ain’t never seen her smile like that!”

The other boys at the meeting felt their shoulders sag and tears come to their eyes. It had been a terrible realisation. Even Kuno didn’t seem to have his heart in it anymore. They had no choice now, truly. They had to cast it aside, their love for Akane Tendo. Each had thought they might win her heart in the end, through sheer pluck and determination. But that’s the trick, really. If you love something, truly love it, then you have to be able to let it go. Be free. Be happy. Without you. Didn’t make it hurt any less, but on the plus side…

“I hear the other day he picked up the training ring while looking for something. Just, gripped the side and lifted it over his head like it was a table.”

“I hear he beat up Kuno for making the moves on her, and that’s why he gave up.”

At least it meant they wouldn’t get the living piss kicked out of them by Ranma Saotome.

<hr>
And then there was Tatewaki Kuno, lingering around the entrance to Furinkan High School with an expression of tremendous apprehension that he was having similarly tremendous difficulty shaking.

“I suggest you leave before I am forced to hurt you,” he said to the expression. At which point it made a noise like a strangled cat and scurried away.

“I just wanted to help you figure out Saotome’s weakness!” Gosunkugi whimpered while running away.

Much better. The little pest was wasting his time. Kuno had no need to know of Saotome’s weakness. He already knew what it was, and Kuno shared it himself. It was a weakness he had only come to recognise recently. A weakness that had led him into foolish behaviour. A weakness that left his heart empty and his soul burning. A weakness that was resting her beautiful head upon Ranma Saotome’s arm, and smiling like she’d uncovered the greatest secrets of the universe. A weakness known as Akane Tendo.

Possibly the only time the idea of “weakness” had been used to describe her in recent memory.

Ah, yes. That strength. This was what had drawn him to her in the first place. Not her beauty alone; there were plenty of others. Why, her elder sisters were both quite physically attractive themselves and there were scores of other attractive young women in the school, so it could not possibly be something so simple or mundane as mere physical lust. Though it certainly didn’t hurt. But it was her passion that drew his eye. Her compassion for others that kept it there. Her fighting spirit that set his heart aflame.

His heart still burned. But with jealousy, envy and despair. Akane never liked him. His attempts to seduce her were immature, brash, idiotic. Off putting. Based on the arrogant assumption that he was irresistible to the opposite sex. Were that true, why did Nabiki treat him with such disdain? Why had Akane always battled him as though he were a dragon to be slain? He had thought it pride, and perhaps to some degree it was. Yet there was something else there too. A small hint of fear and hatred. The one he loved with all his soul hated him.

A revelation like that could drive some men to madness. For someone like Kuno, it was like ice water to the face.

“Greetings, Akane Tendo!” he called, feeling slightly unwell as her happiness was spoiled by the mere sound of his voice. “And to you as well, Ranma Saotome.”

“What do you want?” Ranma asked, his hand slipping away from Akane’s with no small amount of reluctance. It wasn’t difficult to guess the reason, particularly with his next words. “Don’t tell me you want to fight for her or something.”

“Someday we may well do battle again,” Kuno replied. “But that is not today. I have been meaning to ask you a question, and I had hoped you might indulge an answer.

“On the day we first met, my memories are indistinct. I vaguely recall us doing battle, yet cannot conjure the images of that day. Please, inform me of what transpired.”

It was not intended as deception, but there was another element Kuno had not mentioned. It sounded insane. He had always been adept at manipulating air pressure with the sheer speed of his attacks, but ever since that battle it seemed to come to him at will. The shared look between the engaged couple told him that they knew something, but were likely unwilling to mention what it was. Perhaps for the same reason he did not mention his own bizarre and inexplicable new ability.

“You know about Sailor V, right?”

“But of course,” Kuno said. “How could I not? She has been in all the news since her involvement in the bank robbery! Putting a stop to it was tremendously courageous, even were she a martial artist of our considerable talents.”

<hr>
Somehow it just didn’t seem like a good week for Kasumi Tendo. She narrowly avoided being engaged to a young boy she didn’t even know, and was drawn into a battle against monsters that appeared to have crawled out of someone’s fever dream. What’s more, her younger sister and a boy from her school transformed into monsters as well. And now? Now she had gone to the bank to make a withdrawal, and what do you know -

“Everyone down on the floor! This is a stickup!”

Then again, her little sister was the one that wound up taking the engagement, and her newfound magical abilities seemed to involve a supernatural ability to detect a couple’s love line. Well. If she’d been worried about her little sister’s future happiness about the engagement, she probably shouldn’t have bothered. A little discreet nudge here and there throughout the week, and the two of them were already a Freudian slip away from being happily married.

“Why, Ranma, it looks like Akane needs help controlling her strength! Why don’t you spend some time helping her out?”

Little things like that. So. The week had its ups -

“Hold it right there, evildoers! I am Sailor V, and I shall not allow you to break the law so obviously!”

“… She said while there were laws about vigilantism,” one of the robbers rather obviously muttered while swinging his gun towards Kasumi. One second later he was doing an involuntary backflip assisted by a high kick which - goodness gracious - was something she hadn’t done since she was knee high. That particular thought left her standing still in sudden revelation. She had enjoyed martial arts every bit as much as Akane ever did. Not so much the hurting people part. More the strange beauty of it, the exploration of the human form. Understanding its limits. Comprehending its strengths. The practical application of both. The philosophy. The mental discipline. The only reason she’d given it up was for something she’d loved even more.

Her foot came down, and she whirled around towards the other two bank robbers. Every man in the bank had a slight bit of blood dripping from their nose, and rather telling expressions on their faces. The robbers were probably the same underneath their masks. A little strange she didn’t particularly mind getting that kind of reaction from them, but the important thing was that it prevented any of them from realising they could probably make her stand down if they grabbed one of the other people in the bank.

It was almost trivial to put an end to this would-be robbery.

If anything, the hard part was the media attention. Transforming into Sailor V hadn’t been too hard. The robbers had blacked out the cameras with spraypaint, and everybody else was watching the robbers too intently to really notice someone slip away. Transforming back into Kasumi Tendo would be completely impossible. She had their attention in a vice grip, and just outside the bank were a bunch of police and reporters just everywhere.

“Hey, are you one of those martial artists that hops along rooftops?” one of the bank staff asked. Kas- Sailor V thought for a moment and nodded her head, still a little put off by the blonde hair that bobbed into view. “Come on, I’ll take you to the roof. It’s the least I can do.”

She flashed the man a friendly smile, and all of a sudden he hunched over just a little bit. Oh, dear. Was that a side effect of her status as a guardian of love? Definitely something to watch out for.

“Look, up on the roof! Who is that?” the crowd below whispered. Sailor V stared down at them. She could not leave them. Not yet. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and stood tall, proud.

“I am Sailor V!” she declared. “Warrior of Love! Protector of the innocent!” At which point, the wind decided to whip up her skirt. Several people in the crowd - police included - fainted on the spot. Yep. She really had to get a handle on that, as in right the hell now. “I will fight for justice and honour, sweeping aside evil wherever I can find it! You shall surely see me again!”

Though if she were honest with herself, she dearly wished that last part didn’t turn out to be correct.

<hr>
“A most mysterious young woman,” Kuno said, every bit as curious about her as everyone else. Who was she? Where had she come from? But most pressing: “Why mention her? What significance has she?”

“Uh, well… She was kinda there at the fight. A monster showed up, and we helped Sailor V beat it.”

“A monster? What manner of -”

What happened next only made sense in retrospect. It was one of those events that occurs so quickly that reaction just takes over completely, leaving the mind filling in the blanks afterwards based on the aftermath. It began with Kuno’s danger sense kicking in, screaming for him to step backwards rather sharply right this damned moment. Which he did. At around the same time, Ranma must have wheeled around and wrapped his arms around Akane, pulling her to the side of the street while she clung to him for dear life.

And in an amount of time later best measured by the flapping of a hummingbird’s wings something landed in the exact spot upon which Ranma Saotome had just been standing. All of a sudden the pavement simply exploded, leaving a rather large crater as though a meteor had struck. This was no meteor. ’Twas but a boy and the blow itself was struck with but an umbrella.

Goodness, but this youth must be strong.

“Are you alright?” both Ranma and Akane yelled right into one another’s faces. Rather adorable, really, but Kuno’s gaze was fixed upon the new arrival. There was hatred in those eyes. The kind of hatred that sizzles and waits for a moment to spit out a ball of flame. A time which was fast approaching, because that particular display was only the start.

“Ranma Saotome,” the boy said with a venomous tone. “I’ve finally found you! Thanks to you, I’ve seen hell!”

<hr>
Let us briefly take a look back in time at the wandering journey of Ryoga Hibiki as he searched in vain for Ranma Saotome. Imagine how that must be. Looking for someone for the sake of revenge while possessed of the directional sense of a compass at the North Pole. Actually, asking the compass for directions might be more wise. At least it would be correct in telling you that each direction led south.

As it was, he had somehow managed to figure out that Ranma Saotome was at Furinkan High School. Somehow. Don’t ask how because if you think about it there’s really no reason he should know that particular information. Just accept that he has it because it set up a joke that established both his character and his main character failing. Well, perhaps not exactly his <i>main</i> character failing. Certainly a significant one, but not necessarily his biggest problem.

His biggest problem was that in an entirely different universe, a man in a mask offered his old friend the chance to join with him and was declined because their methods and morality did not match.

… Yes, Ryoga did have some rather unusual problems to contend with by and large. Including one or two he didn’t actually know anything about.

One of his more immediate problems involved a pig. A big pig. A big pig charging down the road like its tail was on fire. He hadn’t really noticed it yet, being lost in thoughts of revenge and shame, but pretty much anyone would notice it sooner or later. It was making rather a heck of a lot of noise and all that.

“Please, mister piggy!” a young woman’s voice desperately cried. “Please stop! Calm down! You’re going to hurt someone, and - Mister! Look out!”

The manner in which Ryoga turned around was slow, deliberate, unfazed by the sight of a massive rampaging boar, and could be summarised rather neatly as “cool”. The pig bore down on him, all fury and double his height and weight. He didn’t stand a chance. By which I mean the pig.

Its snout hit the edge of something inexplicable. The tip of an umbrella is not most people’s favoured weapon, and for good reason. It is a device designed to keep off the rain, and while water can wear down most things with enough pressure and time it took more than your average rainfall to require an umbrella to be particularly sturdy. Better that they were designed to be lightweight so that anyone could hold them easily above their head.

Even so. The green-haired young woman stared with a slack jaw at the sight of this (strikingly handsome) young man holding back an irate giant pig with a single arm, an umbrella and a stoic expression. A single twist of the wrist later and the pig was sent flying into the air. Defeated. Effortlessly.

“Naughty piggy!” the young woman scolded. Ryoga simply turned around without a second thought and continued his walk down that road towards god only knew where. Except the sign five feet away stating he was walking away from Tokyo. “Obviously you need to be retrained! Tomorrow, ten rounds with Katsu- Ah! Wait a minute! Mister, come back!”

Ryoga quirked an eyebrow as he turned back towards the young woman… And the first change of several took hold at that very moment: Be less of a naive fool! Which, in the terms that the Cube employed could be better interpreted as “be less of a prude, actually try talking to pretty girls and maybe you’ll get somewhere with them!”

So before, Ryoga would’ve thought nothing more about the matter. He’d have probably strolled off lost in both thought and location, thinking of nothing but the relentless drive for vengeance that filled his very being. Not so much now. He was looking at a rather beautiful young woman, about his own age. Staring at him in what appeared to be adoration. Interest = peaked.

“My name is Akari Unryu,” she said. “Thank you for stopping one of our escaped pigs.”

“Ryoga Hibiki,” he replied, slinging his sturdy umbrella over his shoulder with an uncharacteristic smirk. “A pleasure to meet you, Miss Unryu.”

“Please, just Akari,” the girl said. “I’m so glad to meet you, Ryoga! It’s so obvious that you’re as handsome as a pig, brave like a pig, smart like a pig and - Wait, where are you going? Please, come back!”

“Damn you, Ranma Saotome!” Ryoga yelled. “You’re to blame for this! If it wasn’t for you, I never would have - I will destroy your happiness for this!”
<hr>
“You haven’t changed, Ranma!” the boy with the umbrella growled. “You’re still good at running away.”

“Someone you know?” Akane asked, feeling oddly excited by the prospect of finding out a little more about Ranma’s past. It was weird. She knew so little about him; Ranma never discussed his past for some reason. Ranma furrowed his brow, tilted his head from one side to the other, then finally started excitedly nodding his head.

“Yeah, sure!” he enthused. “He’s, uh, yeah! He’s, he’s my old, uh… We used to, uh…”

“Don’t strain yourself, dear,” Akane sighed. Right. That was probably why. Somehow that made more sense than she liked to admit. Memory like a sieve for anything that didn’t involve martial arts.

“Just tell me one thing,” the boy said, wave after wave of fury starting to flow from his body. “Why did you run out on our fight?”

“Wait! I remember!” Ranma said, and suddenly Akane was struck with this sudden realisation. Ranma probably couldn’t remember Ryoga because of how many people he’d pissed off over the years. The poor boy was probably another face in the crowd for him. Oh, but that was bound to cause some headaches. “You were in my class at my old high school! Ryoga Hibiki! Long time no see!”

Long time no see? That was the kind of thing you said to a friend, not someone that very obviously wanted to break your damn jaw to make the noises stop.

“I waited three days for you to show up at the lot,” Ranma said. Wait. Three days?! She could see it now, Ranma standing in the middle of an empty lot. At first he’d be wearing his usual clothing, but as the hours passed and the sun bore down he’d strip off his shirt to expose his ripped, muscular form for anyone to see… “It was five hundred yards from your house. Literally a straight line down the street. It shouldn’t have taken three days to get there!”

“Do you think I was merely strolling around for three days?!” Ryoga yelled. “I suffered and toiled to meet you! I walked across beaches! Cut my way through forests! I went through hell to meet you for our fight, but you were gone by the time I arrived! For breaking an agreement between men… How dare you!”

The umbrella swung through the air, but Ranma didn’t budge an inch. Akane was completely confused by why that was until she saw something that completely caught her off guard. “Kuno?” she whispered. What was he doing? Why was he -

“Breaking an agreement between men?” Kuno said, staring Ryoga right in the eyes. “Such nonsense! If anyone broke the agreement, ’twas yourself for not arriving at the specified time and location! You forfeit the fight by failing to arrive for it! Three days is more than enough time for anyone to reach this conclusion!”

“This isn’t about finishing the fight!” Ryoga snarled, reaching up to his forehead. “This is revenge! Get outta my way!”

The wind around the two boys kicked up considerably into a form much like a cone (having the unfortunate effect of kicking up the skirts of every girl present in the growing crowd. Well. Unfortunate depending on perspective, really), carrying the headband around it long before it could come into contact with either Kuno or his bokken.

“You wish revenge? Very well! But wait until after school. We are all certainly going to be late as is!”

Whoa. Since when was Kuno such a nice guy? Hold on. Was he really being nice, or just trying to seem that way? Considering his past behaviour it appeared impossible to tell one way or the other. Or maybe it was simply a contrast with this Ryoga boy, who might actually be kinda handsome if he wasn’t so pissed off.

“Alright then,” Ryoga agreed, pulling back his umbrella and retrieving his headband from where it landed. “So be it. After school, we shall settle this once and for all! Keep in mind, Ranma! I shall destroy your happiness!”

And off he went, just like that. Akane watched him go and wearily sighed as a thought occured to her. “He’s going to get lost long before school finishes, isn’t he?”

“Absolutely,” Ranma answered, following her lead with a sigh that tickled the back of her neck.

The back of her neck? What was he doing standing so close to - Oh. Right. He’d pulled her out of the way of Ryoga’s careless crater-causing strike. And then they’d just sort of stayed like that throughout the whole conversation. Arms wrapped around each other, clinging on for dear life. While it was rather nice being held like that, it seemed as though Ranma had realised what was going on and the two departed with blushes on their cheeks and not a word said about it. Probably better that way. And given that the bell had just rung it might be best if they went inside right about now! The two of them grabbed one another’s hands and dashed through the school gates, desperate to be on time.

But the question did linger. When would they meet the eternally lost boy once again?

<hr>
Destroy his happiness. What an odd turn of phrase. It left Ranma wondering if he was even happy to begin with, and the best opportunity to ponder this was in his favourite class of the day. Gym. Perfect chance to show off, and the downtime gave him some time to think as well. Today they were playing baseball, and he was sitting at the corner of the field watching the girls take their turn.

Was he happy? He was cursed to turn into a girl and his father was trying to force him into an engagement he didn’t really want, with a girl that he had to admit was at least kinda fun to hang out with. There she was just now, laughing at some joke told by her friends. Kinda cute when she smiled. She dove through the air and caught the ball with grace and ease, smiling all the while.

“So, level with us for a moment,” said one of the boys in his class. “How far have you gone with Akane?”

Nope. Not dignifying that one with a response. Not that he had, but it wouldn’t be his business if he had. Not that he would for that matter either. “We’re just friends,” Ranma said automatically.

“Oh, come on,” another boy said. “Don’t play dumb with us! You’re engaged!”

“That was our fathers’ idea,” Ranma replied, noting that Akane was taking her turn to bat. She fumbled it, then bent over to retrieve it and -

<i>“Ranma, look out! He’s about as strong -!”</i>

“Say, Ranma, I thought you had martial arts reflexes,” one of the boys said. “Couldn’t you have, you know, dodged that?”

“Had something else on my mind,” Ranma mumbled. Kinda hard to talk with a baseball embedded in his cheek. But at the very least the strength exercises appeared to be working. He could tell because his jaw wasn’t shattered like glass.
<hr>
Some might say it took an eccentric man to hire a giant panda for an assistant, but Doctor Tofu had a good instinct about people. One of those skills nobody ever bothered teaching (or figuring out how to teach) that was absolutely essential to a position like his. And his instincts were telling him that he absolutely had to hire this panda no matter what people thought of him.

But musings of endangered species being gainfully employed would have to wait a while. Here came his two favourite patients. By favourite he meant “most frequent”. Ah. To be a young martial artist, throwing their all into the art. Every fibre of strength gone right into the training. Probably best to get that stuff out of the way while the body was still so wonderfully adept at repairing itself.

“Good afternoon, Ranma!” Tofu cheerily said, carefully examining the poor boy’s cheek. “My goodness, that’s quite a mark! I’ll just get some balm that should work a treat.”

“They make a cute couple, don’t they?” the panda’s sign read. Remarkably clever thing, for a panda. Why, to be able to hold and use a pen… Remarkably well trained. And more observant about human nature than one might expect from an animal. Then again, with the way the two of them had been holding hands since the moment they’d entered the office, it wasn’t hard to tell that the two of them were blessed by Cupid. Definitely the thing that girl needed. A boy her own age was much more suitable than her crush on him… Oh! But curse the luck! Was that the telephone? Just as he was reaching for the balm, as well!

“Yes?” Akane’s voice drifted through the door. Good girl. “Oh. <i>Oh</i>! I see! Alright! I’ll see you at home later! Come on, Ranma! We have to get out of here! Don’t ask questions, just move your cute butt already! Move!”

How strange! By the time Doctor Tofu got back to the room, the two of them were already gone. Bad news at home? He certainly hoped not. It wasn’t like Akane to rush off like that without warning.

“I’ll give Ranma the balm,” the panda’s sign read. He flipped it over. “I’m his father.”

“Really? Not seeing the family resemblance.”

The door opened, and when Tofu turned around to greet the new arrival all he beheld was a majestic angel carrying a bento box. His glasses fogged over, and a single word fell from his lips. The name of a goddess of love, beauty and desire that had only recently grown even more lovely.

“Kasumi….”

<hr>
“Hey, what’s the big idea?” Ranma asked, not particularly resisting too hard as Akane urgently pulled him along the street. “My cheek’s still all swollen up!”

“You’d have a lot worse than that if we’d stayed there another minute,” Akane explained. “Look, you’re new to the area so you don’t really know this. But… Doctor Tofu has a really big crush on my sister. The way he looks at her…”

Ranma tilted his head - inadvertently expertly duplicating the expression Akane was referring to (though not Tofu’s actions while making that expression, thank goodness) as he stared at the back of Akane’s head - and really had to think about that. Didn’t Akane have a crush on that guy or something? Man… That seemed kinda complicated, didn’t it? Having a crush on the guy that liked her older sister. Man. That was the last sort of thing anyone needed. Ranma just hoped he never got involved in that kind of romantic entangl-

“Did you hear that?” he asked all of a sudden. “Sounded like someone busting a gut from laughing too hard.”

“You’re imagining things,” Akane said. “Anyway, whenever he sees my sister he goes a little bit funny.”

“Funny how?”

<hr>
He really should calm down. He really should. It might also be a good idea to try not eating the plate and instead try one of her delicious, delicious cookies instead of making a complete fool of himself like this. It must be getting worse as well. He was starting to hear a little voice in his head and everything.

<i>Come on, you idiot! Just ask her out. She’s obviously a little sweet on you. Why else would she come over all the time to borrow books and give you homemade baked goods?</i>

“Oh, Doctor,” Kasumi sighed. “You’re such a funny man!”

<i>See? She likes you! Go for it! Go on! What are you afraid of?</i>

That she might say no. That she really was just being a kind-hearted, sweet girl. That she was too wrapped up in caring for her family to consider dating a man like him.
<hr>
“No way,” Ranma said, barely really believing it. “He seems like such a serious guy!”

“And he normally is,” Akane clarified. “But as soon as he lays eyes on Kasumi…”

“There you are!” a voice boomed out across the street. Ranma turned and saw him. Ryoga Hibiki. Damn, now of all times? “Let’s finish this, Ranma! One way or the other! You and me, here and now!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ranma muttered, reluctantly releasing Akane’s hand. “There’s an empty lot just over there. Try not to get lost along the way.”

<hr>
How had it gotten to this point? Why was he sweating like this? He had felt so perfectly healthy before, but right now… He could barely even stand! It was a tremendous relief that Kasumi was here.

“Goodness, it’s true what they say!” Kasumi smiled sweetly. “Doctors really do make the worst patients. Please, you obviously need bedrest. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, haven’t you?”

<i>Look at her. So lovely. So pure. So beautiful.</i>

She was. Which was why he couldn’t do it. The idea was preposterous. The very notion -

<i>Do it.</i>

Tofu nervously laughed. No, he couldn’t.

<i>Do it!</i>

Kasumi pressed her forehead against his. Everything went a little bit wibbly, and suddenly the whole world seemed absolutely hilarious. Kasumi stepped away, and he could see fear rising in her eyes….

<hr>
“Ranma, look out! He’s about as strong as I am now!”

Just like his vision. There she was, holding that umbrella like it didn’t weigh anything at all and everything. What was it that was triggering these? Why was it only sometimes when he looked at Akane that they’d trigger like that? He’d thought it was her breasts or something, but - Whoa! Man, Ranma couldn’t help feel the power behind that one! If it had hit - Yeah, tying them together like this was probably the smartest plan Ryoga could’ve used. Seriously limit the opponent’s ability to dodge, then hit them like a damn truck.

Trick being, Ranma had already figured out a way around it. Kind of a shame he didn’t get the chance to give it a go before the scream brought everything to a screeching halt.

“Let go of me!” Hang on. Wasn’t that Kasumi? “Someone, please help!”

“You’re mine!” a maniacal voice laughed. “Mine mine mine! Nobody else can have you! You’re mine!”

“… What the hell is that thing?!” Ryoga yelled, forgetting for a moment the ongoing fight. Right there. That’s when it hit. The second change. Because now? Ranma and Ryoga were going to work together, fighting side by side against a common enemy.

<hr>
Oh dear, this was not how she’d intended to spend the day. Yet another person close to her life, transformed into a monster. At the very least there was a break between attacks, so that was certainly a blessing.

“Big sister!” Oh dear, was that Akane? Yes, it did appear to be her. If only she could get away from this monster, she could do something about this situation.

Which is when an umbrella crashed into the monster’s head, followed by a barrage of what appeared to be bandannas.

“Get your sister out of here!” Ranma yelled. Well, Akane obviously didn’t need telling. She was already pulling Kasumi out of the creature’s grip and hefting Kasumi off down the street in a fireman’s carry.

“Don’t worry, big sister!” Akane said. “We’ll keep that thing from hurting anyone until Sailor V shows up!”

“Are you sure you and Ranma will be able to do that? It looks very strong,” Kasumi said.

“Not to worry! One of Ranma’s old friends has showed up, and he’s sure to help us out!”

That girl. Even if she weren’t super strong, she’d still want to help out somehow. It was a strange twinge of pride and worry seeing her run back into that combat zone, but Kasumi had no time to dwell on such things. She was a super hero as well, and she already had a pretty good idea of how to bring the good doctor back to his senses.

She did have to wonder where their first date would wind up taking them. Kasumi could hardly wait to find out.

<hr>
Ryoga hated to admit it, but this was exactly what he’d needed right now. He’d built up so much anger, especially over this last month and taking it all out on something like that was precisely what the doctor had ordered.

“This happen often around here?” he asked, still not quite able to believe that the girl sitting next to him was that same boy he hated so much. If not for <i>that</i> particular fact it would’ve taken him completely off guard.

“Yeah,” Ranma said, sitting there in what she had the gall to call a cursed form. Something that cute… “Haven’t you seen the news lately? Sailor V’s been popping up to save the day a bunch lately. Aw, hell! Come on, we oughta get out of here!”

The reason he said that became apparent when Ryoga saw the vultures descending. Okay, that was probably a bit of a harsh way to refer to the press, but it’s hard to think of it any other way when you don’t particularly want to talk to them. Ranma’s (slender, soft, feminine) hand grabbed Ryoga’s and hauled him off towards the rooftops, where the lost boy was easily able to keep pace with his (stunning, sexy) gender-switched rival.

“Man, the last thing we need is the news crawling all over us to find out more about Sailor V,” she finally said once they’d lost sight of the reporters. “My life’s complicated enough as it is without being made into some sort of minor celebrity.”

“Huh,” Ryoga said, quickly withdrawing his hand because being attracted to Ranma right now was <i>just the weirdest damn thing</i>. “I would’ve thought you’d like to show off. You always did before.”

“Last thing I need is telling the world about this stupid curse,” Ranma said, and Ryoga’s hackles raised once again. That was a curse? Turning into an attractive young woman, with a face a model might envy, curves in all the right places and skin so soft you could kiss it forever and never tire of the experience? Stop it, Ryoga! Stop losing yourself in tracing the outline of her figure! “Hey, listen. I’m sorry about the stupid bread thing, I didn’t realise you were taking it so seriously.”

“Bread?” Ah! There it was! Remember the hate. Forget the other feelings, divert that more towards other actual real girls! “You think this was about bread? You think this form of yours is a curse? No! You don’t understand at all! The hell that I’ve had to endure! The humiliation I - Bwee!”

Rain, and him caught without his umbrella. The whole world around him grew massive and terrifying, his strength reduced to a tenth of its hard-earned height and his own clothes became a momentary death trap in the making. By the time he struggled out of them, Ranma was leaning down to pick him up.

“Don’t tell me… You went to Jusenkyo as well? Come on, let’s go find some hot water.”

<hr>
It wasn’t bad, really. It looked pretty great, honestly. A short sort of haircut, though it did make her look a lot more like a tomboy. It sort of suited her, kind of. Akane winced when she took a step. Wonderful, just what she didn’t need right now. There didn’t seem a way around it. She’d have to see Doctor Tofu about this. The one person she wasn’t sure she wanted to see right now…

To think that he had become that laughing monster! Another person she knew, become a monster against their will. Was it her? Was she cursed with bad luck? No. That was probably too simple an explanation. Maybe the monsters were more widespread than it seemed, and she was only seeing the ones in her own life?

No, that didn’t seem possible either. If they were remotely that common they’d be more obvious. Akane wandered downstairs, trying to ignore the pain -

“Oh my, Doctor Tofu! Are you feeling better?”

Akane stopped midstep and listened intently.

“Yes, much better,” Doctor Tofu replied. “I know this may seem quite sudden, but I was wondering if you would do me the honour of accompanying me to the theatre tonight?”

“My goodness, are you asking me out on a date?”

“Well, if you already have plans -”

“It’s about time. I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever make a move.”

A breath escaped Akane’s lips. What was this? What was this she was feeling now? She’d had a crush on Doctor Tofu for years, had to contend with competing with Kasumi, and now the two of them were even going to start dating! On the same day her hair was cut to ribbons by that same beloved doctor, transformed into a monster! This was somehow worse than the worst-case scenarios she’d ever agonised over -

And yet she felt absolutely nothing. She staggered off down the corridor feeling oddly numb. Had it not hit her yet? The implications? How hard would it knock her down when it had?

“Hey, watch where you’re going - Akane? Almost didn’t recognise you there!”

That’s right. She should have been watching where she was going. Almost run right into girl-form Ranma, who was carrying a pig for some reason. For the longest moment she just stared at this gender-switched fiance without saying anything at all, then tilted her head in thought.

“You know,” Ranma said, suddenly seeming to find great interest in the wall. “That haircut really suits you. Very cute.”

Cute, was she? Did she really suit this tomboyish look? Words began to pass Akane’s lips without her even being fully aware of them.

“Ranma, we’re friends, right?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. That’s right!”

“I was wondering if we could have a few… benefits.”

“What sort of - Mmmf!”

Soft. She’d known Ranma’s girl body was softer than the male form. For a terrible moment she wondered what she was doing, pulling the girl into a kiss like this out of nowhere. Had she just ruined their friendship? Would Ranma hate her now? The moment passed when she felt the pig leap to the floor, and Ranma’s hands pulled her closer… Closer. The kiss was returned with a hunger that Akane could not resist trying to feed, and she scooped her pigtailed friend up in her arms and carried her off towards her room. Neither of them paid much attention to the pig following them upstairs. Their thoughts were rather preoccupied for that sort of thing.
<hr>
If Kasumi were perfectly honest, she’d only become aware of the good doctor’s infatuation with her recently. She’d always just assumed he was being silly, but for those antics to be caused by a deep-rooted attraction for her… The idea never crossed her mind right up until the point she simply couldn’t ignore it.

At first she hadn’t known what to do about it. The fact that, en route towards the theatre, she had dragged him into his office with her lips firmly pressed against his was a rather solid indicator that she’d made up her mind.

He was a sweet man, really. Good natured. Kind. Handsome. A miracle worker with those magic fingers. It occurred to her briefly that this was not quite her normal behaviour pattern, but ever since she’d first transformed into Sailor V she had been feeling a nagging sense of incompleteness. If she was to be a warrior of love, then surely she must know what it is to love and be loved?

<hr>
Friends with benefits. Ranma hadn’t heard the term before, but was learning fast. First thing: With benefits apparently meant without clothes. It felt a little weird the way that Akane’s lips trailed down to her neck while her hands undid the clasps on the front of her shirt. Good, but weird. The shirt was slid off her shoulders, and Ranma gasped at a new sensation: Akane playing with her breasts! She’d never guessed they could be so sensi-

<i>They’d been doing this for hours, sweat pouring off both their bodies. They couldn’t stop. Neither wanted to stop. Holding each other so close with one hand while the other trailed down towards the other’s drenched and needy pussy…</i>

Okay, that could get a little distracting. Was that what Ranma had to look forward to over the next few - The thought was interrupted when Akane’s fingers worked their way into Ranma’s trousers and the whole world turned wet and white. More! More of this! It was so embarrassing feeling this as a girl, but - But Ranma couldn’t help it!

At the very least, she could respond in kind.
<hr>
It was like a dream, only better. To think. All this time he’d been pining over this wonderful woman. All that time, and all he’d had to do was screw up his courage and ask her out. The date was already progressing much better than he’d imagined. A chaste kiss became gradually more and more intimate as time went on, until the only sensible thing either of them could do was find somewhere a little more private.

She stepped away and demurely removed the dress. What a beautiful creature she was. Though there may have been lingering doubts in his mind about moving too quickly, they were quickly squashed by the sight of her naked form. Doubts didn’t stand a chance when held up before a naked Kasumi Tendo gently pushing him back onto a bed with a peculiarly innocent smile and a glint in her eyes that said she was about to be anything but.

Tofu ran his fingers down the sides of her soft curves, simultaneously taking the time to enjoy the tactile sensation and causing her to shudder with pleasure from his manipulation of pressure points. He would do all within his power to ensure she enjoyed their time together, and given his knowledge of medicine and pressure points the only real question was how many times he could make her climax before they were done.

<hr>
It was the sweetest torture imaginable. If he left the room, he exposed himself to the dangers of the world. If he stayed, he had to watch two rather insanely hot girls desperately try to fuck each other stupid. And not in any way participate.

Yes. Two girls. There wasn’t much room for doubt in his mind anymore that this form of his most hated rival was female. A completely adorable girl with a completely entrancing figure. Any one feature would normally draw his attention, but put together they were damn near irresistible.

The other girl was rather entrancing as well. Very much the cute tomboy mould. Her figure was not quite as impressive as Ranma’s, but it certainly had its charms. The crucial point being: After this display Ryoga sorely wished he was his normal self right now, because he wanted a piece of either of them.

“Oh, Ranma!” the girl he’d by now identified as Akane whimpered. “How did you know that would - Oh! Right there! You’re the best friend I’ve ever had!”

The sweetest torture imaginable. Oh, yes. To glimpse heaven and to have no part in it. Thoughts of revenge were flat out gone from his mind. Obliterated as if cast into the heart of the sun. If this was how Ranma treated her friends, then maybe - just maybe - befriending him would be the smartest thing to do? Somehow that seemed perfectly sensible to him now, but then again he wasn’t exactly thinking all that clearly at the moment. The eternally lost boy was lost in the lesbian display in front of him.