Story: Bridal Training

Another one of those times where I'm not entirely certain where I wanted to go, but then it just sort of fit together once I started.

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Sometimes you just get an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach. Like something has gone horribly wrong somewhere in the world, and it’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks. Like the thread holding the sword of Damocles above your head has finally reached its breaking point, or the certainty that a butterfly a hundred miles away is about to make it rain two weeks hence with the beating of its wings.

At the very moment that she stepped into home economics that day, that feeling was crawling all over Ukyo’s spine. All over it. Like white on rice. Now, some might think this was her favourite class given her occupation. Ha! Nope, not really! See, she had no right being a student in this class at all. A student? She should be teaching! One did not own and operate their own one-person-staffed restaurant without knowing the basics of home economics like a familiar friend! At least in other classes there was an extremely high chance of learning something new, but so far as she was concerned? She could fall asleep and still ace the class!

Except for one small problem. Well. It was actually a pretty significant problem, sitting just to her immediate left. Probably the biggest problem in her life. Akane Tendo. Now, that’s not a fair assessment. It really isn’t. Not her fault she got herself into an arranged engagement to Ranma Saotome. Not her fault that their fathers are stubborn idiots that won’t break it off and keep on forcing the issue. It would be so easy to hate this girl. With her short temper, tomboyish behaviour, the way she got into arguments with Ranma all the time…

Except for one small problem. Girl might have a short temper. She might be a tomboy. But dammit, she was too likeable to hate! No matter how she tried, she just couldn’t do it!

“Good morning, Ukyo!” Akane greeted with a bright, cheery smile. Consider that Exhibit A. Short temper? No, not exactly. More like the girl was very expressive with her emotions. When she was angry she was as scary as any devil, but when she was happy it was impossible not to feel at least a little bit good about the world. “It looks like we’re making pancakes today! I’ve never done that before!”

“Oh, it’s easy. Nothing to it,” Ukyo said, and there it was again. That feeling of complete wrongness pervading the air, surrounding her utterly to the point of distraction. Was it weird to be friends with her closest romantic rival? It wasn’t like they actually fought or argued over Ranma or anything. Akane didn’t ever seem to mind him coming over for a visit or anything like that, and the three of them did hang out sometimes.

Maybe she was worried about the inevitable consequences of being Akane’s class buddy. That was a trait that managed to be adorable and dangerous at once. A complete klutz in the kitchen! Could barely even boil water correctly! Yes, that was probably all it was. Apprehension about what disaster Akane was about to instill upon this innocent classroom and innocent ingredients.

Ten minutes passed by in the blink of an eye and Ukyo still hadn’t worked out a way to pick up her jaw from the floor. Then again neither had the rest of the class. They had all stopped cold to watch the spectacle. There she was. Akane Tendo. Wrecker of Kitchens, Spoiler of Simple Recipes, the aggressive tomboy that couldn’t bake a cake if her life depended on it…

And she was happily skipping from stove to stove, and performing one of several tasks. For one she would delicately pour out a small amount of mixture with her tongue very slightly protruding from the side of her mouth. For another she would check the contents and either leave it, sharply flick her wrists to make it flip over or angle a similar flick so that the pancake landed perfectly on a nearby plate.

It was performance cooking. Effortless performance cooking. When Ranma showed off like this he always had this smug little smirk about him that said “Look at me, look how awesome I am!” but not a hint of it about Akane. She was humming to herself, skipping along and making it look easy.

It was one of the most peculiarly hypnotic things she’d ever seen in her entire life.

“Here, Ukyo!” Akane said. “What do you think?”

Ukyo stared at the offered fork with a small amount of fear and trepidation. Everyone else in class suddenly felt like they were trying to pretend not to exist. That anxious expression, that enticing aroma - which was particularly strange since a Western-style pancake was clearly a boring version of okonomiyaki that Ukyo had never cared for, honestly - and since her mouth was already hanging open from shock she just had to move her head forward like this, and -

“It’s the best I’ve ever tasted,” she said. Hardly believing those words. It was true, though. Easily true. Not a shade on anything she’d make for the restaurant, because okonomiyaki was clearly the superior food, but this was the closest any food had come in the longest time.

“Thank you!” Akane exclaimed, draping a cloth over a plate stacked ridiculously high with the tasty morsels. “I’m sure Ranma will love it!”

Ranma? She was going to feed those to - Ukyo shook her head and turned around just in time to see Akane skip out of class. No way! Couldn’t let her do that! She bolted for the door and found her prey - Gone. Damn! Where could she be?! No way to tell! There was little else for it but for her to look everywhere in the school, hopefully she could catch up with the girl before she made things even more complicated for them!

“Since when could she cook?” Ukyo grumbled to herself. Something was wrong here. Something was very wrong!

<hr>
The question lingered on in Ukyo’s mind hours later. How did she improve her cooking skills overnight like that? While she may like Akane as a person she had absolutely no business serving anyone food. The girl had no culinary talent, no aesthetic or fine dexterity… It was all about power and speed for her over finesse and skill. So where did she get it all of a sudden? How on earth had she -

Speak of the devil, there she was. Walking past the entrance to the restaurant in a dreamlike state. Ukyo ran out of the shop, yelling “Hey, Akane!”

No reaction.

“Hey! Hello! Earth to Akane! Where are you heading?”

Still nothing. Suspicions grows in leaps and bounds. Where was she heading like this? It wasn’t that she was ignoring Ukyo… At least not intentionally. Perhaps it was a time for a sneakier approach?

A half hour later found them outside a house in a district she’d probably never been in before. Ukyo hung back to the nearest corner and watched as the front door was opened by a woman in a kimono that looked almost like -

Like Ranma’s girl form plus a couple decades.

“Good evening, Akane,” the woman said. “Back for another lesson?”

“Yes, Mrs Saotome! I mean, Mother,” Akane said with an amazing amount of enthusiasm. The two disappeared inside. Mrs Saotome, was it? Mother? Ukyo couldn’t help but feel a little hurt at that, but it was curiosity rather than betrayal that made her sneak towards a nearby window to spy on their meeting.

“I take it that your skills as a chef have improved?” Mrs Saotome enquired, retrieving what appeared to be some form of incense from a cupboard. Akane nodded very slowly. “How wonderful. Breathe deeply, dear, and listen to the tone of my voice. Now. The subconscious mind often picks up details that the conscious mind ignores. With that in mind, I am no longer addressing the conscious mind of Akane Tendo, but rather her subconscious thoughts and feelings. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Akane said and Ukyo mouthed. The chef blinked and shook her head, wondering at what was going on in there.

“Do you wish to marry my son?” Mrs Saotome asked. Akane nodded, and so did Ukyo. Damn straight she wanted to marry Ranma, but it was a little sore to see that Akane wanted to as well. “Good. Then these lessons shall not be in vain. Tell me, Akane. What do you believe is the biggest obstacle to a happy marriage between the two of you?”

“I believe we are mutually attracted to one another,” Akane stated. “But we are both too proud to admit this fact. Instead, we try to protect our pride by insulting one another and attempting to push the other away.”

“I see,” Mrs Saotome said. “Only those that lack real confidence in themselves allow their pride to dictate their actions. Therefore, we shall spend this session improving your confidence in yourself. As your confidence grows, it will become increasingly more difficult for him to resist your sexual wiles. You would like this, wouldn’t you, Akane?”

“Yes, Mother!” Akane said, nodding her head so much that Ukyo feared it might fall off. “I want him to take me. I want to feel him inside me. I have been denying these feelings for so long but I just want -”

“I know, dear. I know,” Mrs Saotome soothed. “Just remember. Breathe deeply. In, and out. Now. Are there any other problems we need to resolve?”

“Yes,” Akane answered. “There are… other girls interested in Ranma as well.”

“Keep your breathing as I mentioned,” Mrs Saotome instructed, demonstrating the technique as Akane mimicked her. “That’s right. Keep it slow, keep it gradual, keep it under control and listen to what I am saying. Tell me more about those girls.”

Ukyo’s vision was swirling by this point and she couldn’t stop smiling. Hypnotised. Akane has been hypnotised by Ranma’s mother. It was such a silly thing! Letting herself be brainwashed like that! No, no. This wasn’t funny. This was something she had to do something about, but first thing that sweet smell was getting really distracting.

“One is a Chinese warrior girl from a village,” Akane said. “She makes a show of being cute and bubbly, but she’s very dangerous. Devious and powerful. Her name is Shampoo. She is a much better martial artist than I am and very beautiful, but Ranma doesn’t really like her very much.

”Then there is Kodachi. She is a lunatic. I can beat her in a fair fight, but she doesn’t fight fair if she can help it. Her brother has been obsessed with me for years.

“Then there is Ukyo-”

“I don’t think you need to tell me anything about Ukyo, Akane dearest,” Mrs Saotome said. “After all, you did bring her here tonight. Didn’t you?”

“Yes, Mother!” Akane said. “As you instructed, I left your home and deliberately lured her here.”

“And by now she will have inhaled enough of the incense to be as under my spell as you first were,” Mrs Saotome said. “The front door is open, Miss Kuonji. Please enter at your leisure.”

“Yes, Mrs Saotome,” Ukyo replied, almost stumbling towards the entrance.

“Please, dear,” Mrs Saotome said, leaning out the window as Ukyo turned the corner. “Call me Mother.”