As it turns out, Asuka was right. Rei was unconsciously warping reality around herself to make it as interesting as possible, and frankly, her being victorious just wasn't all that much fun. Being a total domme and sitting on either Asuka or Shinji's faces for all of time would be pretty good, but it would probably eventually get old. Maybe. Probably.
Thus, her mistake in getting this writer hooked on her dommy pheromones. The whiff of that thought was enough to send him cavalcade off, rewriting reality to make things as interesting as possible. Oh, but Asuka had been able to show her brilliance here. It's almost the only thing you can do with someone that has direct control over reality... or rather, control over the one that can rewrite your reality at a whim. Put ideas in their head. The idea of defeat. Or an idea that will ultimately lead to their defeat. What else can you do?
Nothing but pray. A shame they lived in a world whose only God was, not to boast but, me.
Thus reality distorted. It flipped, it flopped, it turned upside down, much to Asuka's satisfaction and Rei's mild horror and Shinji's <i>extreme cosmic horror</i>.
"Bite me, doll!" Asuka yelled while reality itself came undone. History changing. Ritsuko's kinda disturbing experiments being rewritten out of time. "Looks like I'll be taking the lead properly this time!"
"I'll get you yet!" Rei yelled, but it was too late by then. "You will beg to sit under my ass even in this story! Or perhaps in some other, where I'm the Queen Bitch!"
"Man, you're really out of character here..." Shinji muttered to himself, and then -
They were gone. Or at least, this version of them was. There is, somewhere out there in the multiverse, a parallel thread to this one whereupon those three idiots are still embroiled in the results of Ritsuko's bizarre experiments, and most likely getting so, so much sex in the process like you wouldn't even believe.
But that is not this world. In this world, things were going to take a rather peculiar tone.
======
It all happened when Asuka was about five or six years - Hey, wait, no need to do that, put the phone down! We're not going there, I promise! You cool? We cool? We're not touching her yet, okay? God, it's annoying that we have to make that point clear, some people just have to ruin things for everyone don't they...? Anyway. Little Asuka (who, I repeat, is not going to have anything inappropriate happening to her at this age, okay? Christ almighty how clear do I need to make this?) was happily going about her business. You could tell because her scowl was a whole two degrees more blunt today.
Anyway. There she'd been. Working at the computer. Tap, tapping away with her little fingers. The adults weren't paying her much attention. They just wanted her out of the way while they did their boring work.
Ah, what a childlike thing to think. How boring the work of the adults is! In part because, of course, the children cannot understand it. Cannot comprehend it. Well... Actually, the problem here is the reverse for Asuka Langley-Sohryu. She understood the work. Understood it better than the adults around her did. Things they were saying didn't actually make sense to her, but that was only because they seemed to believe in things that were incongruent with reality.
Yes. She used the word incongruent. Used it correctly, even. That was a far, far cry from the depths (or perhaps height) of her lexicon. Indeed, her lexical repertoire far exceeded what one might infer from her physical stature. This precocious young girl possessed expertise in three distinct disciplines, each typically deemed well beyond the scope of her age group.
However, a few nuances occasionally eluded her grasp. The adults espoused contradictory notions with unwavering conviction, much like Orwellian doublethink. At first she thought they were trying to seem busy, preoccupied, for the girl they were underestimating, but as time went on she felt this unwavering certainty that they honestly believed the nonsense they were espousing.
Thus, she had taken it upon herself to conduct her own research. For instance, the computer security here was exquisite, but not quite as potent as it should be. She'd thrown together an algorithm in about an hour which had allowed her root access to all the files and -
"Holy shit."
She'd actually said that out loud. Hadn't meant to. Her next response was to look around the room just to make sure. Nobody had heard her. She quickly wiped the data from her computer. She'd already committed it to memory...
And she really wished she had not.
Ah. It seems as though I must offer you all an apology. It seems that I had lied earlier on. I had promised that nothing untoward, nothing raunchy would happen to this young girl... But it appears that she has been quite thoroughly and deeply mindfucked.
She rose from her chair and paced around the room, her brilliant mind putting together a plan. A scheme. A plot. Come on, girl. You're meant to be a genius. Engage in unconventional thinking and devise a Machiavellian stratagem. Develop an outcome so unforeseen it would catch them completely unawares.
"Hold on, hold on!" little Asuka muttered darkly to herself. "Would that work...?"
She sat back down. Did some mathematics. Turned her little head to the side.
"No way," she said. "No fucking way! That's so idiotisch!"
And yet, there it was. Sitting out there, dangling and naked. Not the best phrasing but...
"Better hop to it, then!" Asuka muttered darkly to herself. She jumped off the chair, and started doing squats. We're not going to dwell on that because. Again. Six years old. "I'm gonna need to acquire a taste for red meat..." she muttered, and the scowl on her brow turned 10 degrees inwards.
=====
We're skipping quite a bit here, a decade easily. A young maiden standing in her room, which she knows is littered with cameras from every which angle with hidden cameras, looking back over her shoulder at herself in the mirror and -
"Großartige Perfektion!"
She reached back, behind herself, and squeezed. Squeezed sheer thicc perfection. A pair of well sculpted and rounded cheeks that she had spent over ten years of her life meticulously crafting until they reached this size, this shape, this feel. To think that she'd cracked the code all the way back then: The booty quotient.
This would be her weapon of choice. Yes, really. Her butt. Using her butt, she would avert Third Impact. Yes, I repeat, really. No, really I'm serious about this and so is she, she's gonna use that ass to bring Third Impact to a screeching halt. How exactly did she intend to do that?
Glad you asked, dear friend. Let's have fun finding out together.
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