The secret to successful blackmail is to know your mark’s limits. Which is why Nabiki was flipping through a list of names. Her goal was simple; figure out who Akane and Ranma didn’t want to know about their latest bit of foreplay in the dojo badly enough to go along with her blackmail. But not someone so volatile that the two get too angry at her and risk blowing the operation via threatening her in some fashion.
Candidates 1 and 2: A certain pair of idiot fathers. At the slightest hint of the two of them showing mutual interest, those pair would be calling up a priest. And oh, but they were showing more than a little hint of mutual interest. While Nabiki was pretty sure Ranma would balk at this, with the way Akane was acting she didn’t quite know for sure if it would end with a successful blackmail. It might very well end with Akane telling the fathers to get her sized up for a wedding dress.
Candidate 3 and 4: Cologne and Shampoo. The pair of them finding out might well be a step too far in the other direction. Those two might get violent. Murderously violent. Potentially even aimed at Nabiki herself. So, no go.
Candidate 5: Ukyo. Less likely to be violent towards Nabiki. A definite viable candidate. But it never hurt to have more than one option.
This was harder than she thought.
"Can I help you with something, big sister?"
Nabiki lifted her head and turned to see Akane standing in the doorway. So she stretched out and got off the bed she had been lying on. Not her own bed, mind. Rather, it was her sister's.
"Nice leotard," Nabiki said. "I take it Ranma liked it as well?"
"As a matter of fact, he did!" Akane huffed and strode right on into the room. Weird. Nabiki didn't feel any aggression in her sister's body language. "So? Why are you in my room?"
"I wanted to congratulate you," Nabiki said. "Well done. You've finally got over that shyness and started moving to claim your man slash girl." She looked Akane over. "And might I say, that bold strategy suits you well. Me without my camera."
“Taking pictures without permission is rude Nabiki.”
"Well, shaking your thang for your man isn't exactly ladylike either," Nabiki sniffed in faux indignity. "In any event, I can hardly wait to share the good news. Ranma and Akane, finally hooking up. How does that sound as a letter header?"
“It sounds lovely.” Akane said, with a weirdly sunny smile on her face.
Not... exactly the reaction Nabiki had been expecting. No panic. No anger. Only abject adoration. It felt as if, should Nabiki step a little too close, she might be able to see wedding dresses in Akane's vision. This was so totally contrary to Nabiki's impression of her little sister that, had she a shred more empathy in her soul, she might be deeply worried.
Instead, all she was really worried about was her future financial prospects.
“So you wouldn’t mind me going to see Daddy and getting the wedding plans started up?” She said, trying to find an angle to pick at Akane’s sunny smile.
“I think I can plan my own wedding Nabiki.”
Red alert. We have a red alert here. Stare too much at that smile and it might burn out your eyes.
"I'm sure everyone we know will be thrilled," Nabiki said. "Ryoga. The Kunos. Ukyo. Shampoo and her Great Grandmother."
"Oh, it will be a wonderful event!" Akane sighed in a really girly way. As in, super girly. Even girlier than the times Ranma put on a really bad girly voice when trying something in his cursed form. "We'll have the dojo made up to look like a European castle!” She produced a microphone from somewhere and began to sing her wedding dreams into it. “Ranma will ride in on a white horse to the applause of all our friends and family. Then he'll take his place in the training hall, and await my arrival. Then, I'll step out in a pristine white dress and march down the aisle while Elton John plays the wedding march on an organ."
This.. sounded prohibitively expensive already.
"We'll get the Pope to marry us!" Akane continued saying into the microphone. Doves appeared behind her, carrying roses in their beaks. "Then as we lean in to kiss, that’s when the fireworks will start. After the ceremony is finished, unicorns will step out of a mystic portal to lead us off to our reception.”
“You’ll be having a reception in Narnia?” This had gone from “expensive” to blatantly impossible.
“Why not!? Will you deprive me of my dream of leaving the wedding atop a unicorn with my dashing prince charming?”
"No, pretty sure the unicorn is fine," Nabiki said. "It's just... we are talking about <i>Ranma</i> here, right? The kind of goofy meathead with the Jusenkyo curse that instills sexual confusion in everyone that knows about it?"
“Well me and Ukyo aren’t confused at all.” Akane said. "We're both very into both his forms, thank you very much!"
Her... and Ukyo? Well then. Scratch using her as a blackmailing vector. On the other hand it did give her a new avenue of attack.
"So, does Ranma know about your sudden willingness to share?"
Aha! Now, this was probably her actual favourite part about blackmailing someone. That look of panic that they desperately try to keep from flitting across their features. Akane had gotten too into her fantasy, and let slip that it wasn’t just her and Ranma in her Happily Ever After. How interesting!
"Well, well! I do wonder how he might take the news," Nabiki smirked. She began to circle around Akane like a shark circling a liferaft. "You know how shy that boy is about this kind of thing. You're going to have to work to get him into the tuxedo, never mind get him to agree to a second wife. I suppose the plan was to ease him into it bit by bit? My, my. How will he react if he's told a little too soon?"
Resignation. Defeat. Ah, how sweet it tasted after the sugary sweetness coming off Akane during that whole spiel before. "Okay, you win," Akane sighed. "I know what you need. Hold on, let me get it for you."
Nabiki smirked and flopped down to sit on Akane's bed, then set about inspecting her nails while Akane slunk off towards her wardrobe. Ah, victory always tasted so sweet. Especially over those martial artists who valued strength so much, failing to note that there was more than one strength in this world.
"What you need," Akane said, suddenly turning around and thrusting something into Nabiki's face. "Is to learn how to be a good girl."
Huh? What did she mean by - What was that sweet scent? Incense? Nabiki's eyes blurred over and then she collapsed back onto Akane's bed, grinning blankly at the ceiling.
“Mother will teach you how to be a good girl Nabiki.” Akane sat her back up and stroked her hair lovingly. "You'll make such a good girl with a little teaching."
- Ranma is busy <s>furiously masturbating</s> thinking intensely about Akane's strange behaviour.
- He ends up heading out and runs into Shampoo.
- Nodoka finishes training Azusa just in time for Akane to bring her another girl.
- While taking Nabiki to Nodoka they run into Kuno, oh no!
- Something else
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