Story: Code Geass Anti Harem

Gym class had never been Lelouch's favourite part of the school day. He lacked the stamina needed to go for the long haul. A simple lap around the track would leave him breathless and winded. Where he really excelled was in the classroom, where he could easily recite any fact or figure, solve any problem. It was so easy he could sleep through half the lessons and still get the top grades. Hence his decision to ditch classes to make money from the nobility.

Alas, here he was. Heading out onto the field for a round of gym. Don't think he hadn't noticed the boys trailing after him, shuffling their feet. They all but had a dark cloud over their head. Well, he could hardly help their jealousy: It was not his fault that his penis had been raised up to a superhuman standard.

It twitched in his shorts. Goodness, but he was horny... And matters weren't going to be improved any in the near future! Which is why he'd elected to take a quite desperate approach. Keeping his eyes off the girls with quite deliberate intent, he walked right up to the gym teacher.

"Yes, Mister Lamperouge?" he said. "Don't tell me, you got an excuse to sit out."

"As a matter of fact I do," Lelouch said. His left eye sparked into life, showing a symbol that looked very much like a bird flapping its wings. "From now on, I am to be excused from gym class."

"... Okay, you're excused," the gym teacher said. Heh. Perfect. He had seen through this strategy already. Have the girls in class strutting around in bloomers right before his eyes. Have them work up a sweat while he struggles to control his throbbing erection, knowing all too well that Milly had 'cut him off'. Make it seem reasonable for him to go for Shirley or Kallen, or any of the other girls in school who had an interest in hooking up with him...

Thanks, but no thanks. Lelouch strolled out of the boy's locker room with the most dangerous thing he can have in his possession: A plan. It was a difficult thing coming up with a counter-strategy for some apparently all powerful being hell bent on giving him a harem on a silver platter, but he was starting to get the shape of it. All he'd have to do is pick a girl - one girl was all he'd need to slake the tension in his balls.

"Well, hello there Lelouch,"

Cue the top of his list. Just as planned. Kallen Stadtfeld/Kozuki. Still wearing her snug fitting bloomers and a slightly damp sweatshirt. Lelouch quirked an eyebrow at this. That couldn't be sweat. But then she lifted a bottle of water to her lips and things made a bit more sense.

Resisting Kallen's advances had been one of the more difficult things he'd had to do in his life. Kallen may play the role of the sickly schoolgirl, but there wasn't an inch of her body that wasn't Fit, with the capital F. Even the way she was rubbing the side of that bottle against her forehead was ludicrously suggestive. Alas, if he'd taken to plowing that sexy half Japanese over the desk in the student council meeting room as her body language was all but screaming he do then he would technically have had a polyamorous relationship with both Kallen and Milly at the same time, which would <i>technically</i> be the requirements to meet 'having a harem'.

And he'd be damned if he lost that easily. Kallen puffed out her chest. Alright, perhaps 'easily' was the wrong word for that kind of talent...

"Hello Kallen," Lelouch smiled at her, then looked around to ensure they were alone. "I meant to discuss our conversation yesterday."

"Yes, so did I," Kallen said, rising to her feet and slinking right on over inside of his personal space. It was astonishing. He had never really paid much attention to how pretty a girl was, or how erotic her appeal. Now that he had to contend with resisting the attempts to manipulate him into a harem, Lelouch was amazed he could ever fail to notice it. "You see, I wanted to apologise for coming on too strong."

... That was not what he had expected to hear. All of a sudden his plans were being thrown out the window, and he was having to start over from scratch. If he understood correctly, then... Kallen was giving up on pursuing him?

"Oh no, there's nothing to apologise for," Lelouch said. Perhaps he could salvage this? "I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding."

To his continued surprise Kallen hugged him. Was... Was she seducing him or not? For the first time Lelouch was getting a taste of why this challenge was ill suited for him: His understanding of romance and sex was far too technical for him to be an effective warrior. Give him a battlefield. Give him a chance to show off his strategy and tactics. Don't give him a pretty and busty girl pressing her boobs into his chest!

"That's such a relief to hear," Kallen said. "I thought you might have the wrong idea about me. I thought you would think I was some kind of easy girl."

"P-perish the thought," he said, by now thoroughly confused. And aroused. "Let's put that behind us and move forward, shall we?"

Kallen pulled away from him, and all of a sudden Lelouch remembered how to breath properly. Though new concerns did arise right about then: This meeting he was due to have with her - if she behaved like this, then how would it go? Would she try to flirt with Zero right in front of her colleagues? Would she try to earn the trust of the mysterious masked man by seducing him with her feminine wiles?

"Come on. You're off gym as well, right?" Kallen asked. "We've got to keep ourselves occupied somehow, don't we? You can catch me up on student council affairs. Just me. And you. In the student council building."

Lelouch sighed wearily. With only these two changes life was already becoming more difficult for him. He could only hope that if there were any further moves made by his seemingly omnipotent foe, it wouldn't be for a good while yet!

<hr>

Who wants to live forever? Only a lunatic. Or someone who hadn't thought it through properly. This particular green haired girl had only been alive for a few centuries at this point and she was thoroughly sick of being perpetually young while everyone she knew grew old and died. She could only imagine how bad it would get if you actually lived forever.

<i>If you're looking for Lelouch, he should be at Ashford Academy</i> said the disembodied voice of Lelouch's mother Marianne who only C.C. could hear. Now, some might say that hearing voices in her head was a clear sign of going unhinged from the immortality and the sheer number of times she'd 'died' and been reborn. But C.C. knew better. It wasn't anything so severe as a psychotic break.

It was only that Marianne and her had a telepathic connection due to the supernatural psychic power that C.C. had bestowed upon her using her direct connection to the World of C. What's the World of C? The afterlife and also the residence of the collective unconsciousness of humanity, AKA God. Duh.

"You seem quite eager to have me meet up with your son," C.C. said. "You're not trying to set us up, are you?"

No, of course not. C.C. knew better than that. What Marianne was probably really doing was putting C.C. in a place where she could be easily found if they absolutely had to. Best of luck to them. Still, C.C. really was on her way towards Ashford Academy regardless of whatever Marianne was intending to natter in her ear -

And cue a rush of reality altering courtesy of one especially handsome, intelligent and, it should go without saying, extremely humble author (ahem!) to make things a little more interesting for the young Prince. His relationship with C.C. was alway on the edge of something... Romantic. Now let's see what happens when C.C. is all of a sudden a bisexual tease instead of a regular one? Rather than finding it amusing when she trolls people, she adores leaving them hanging so much it gets her horny and wet. Then the simple act of walking away and letting them get off by themselves... oof! That finished her off. Every time without fail.

In her time she had corrupted hundreds of 'prudes' and 'innocents'. Why, take Charles for example. Would you believe that horndog was once intimidated by women? Now he had dozens of wives and scores of children. All thanks to her expert teasing. They'd never done anything with each other, mind. She'd simply set him on the path.

And what do you know, he took to it like a champ.

"This straight jacket is really not my style," C.C. tutted, tugging at the offending white gear. "It's far too restrictive."

<i>"Perfect for bondage play though,"</i> Marianne observed. True, so very true.

“Perhaps, but I would rather see it on some cute little thing than myself.” She tilted her head head upon pondering that. Perhaps she could do that actually. It would be amusing if she could set up a situation where one of Lelouch’s classmate’s got <i>accidentally</i> stuck in her straitjacket. Only to be found by him and the little prince having to save her valiantly free her of these restrictions.

It would be even funnier if she removed any other clothes the girl in question wore.

<I>"Now, I am a little concerned about my son,"</i> Marianne said. <i>"According to our spies at Ashford, Lelouch hasn't had any ass yet. The girls are throwing themselves at him even without knowing he's Royalty, but he's not seeming all that interested."</i>

"You have spies at Ashford?" C.C. quirked an eyebrow.

<i>"Well, yes. Of course. I mean, Lelouch and Nunnally were sent to Japan in the first place to keep them out of V.V.'s reach. It's only natural we'd have people we trust to keep an eye on him."</i> People like C.C. herself, for instance. <i>"Now. I think you should ride his dick and help set him up with as many cute girls as possible."</i>

What a twisted relationship this family had. It was actually quite amusing. Lelouch probably hated his father by now without ever guessing that Charles adored him in his own way. How frustrating. Knowing Charles he'd probably let Lelouch do whatever the fuck he wanted so long as it didn't interfere in the grand scheme.

"I am not having sex with your son," C.C. firmly said. "I am older than his grandmother's grandmother." And quite a few more grandmothers after that. She was centuries old, remember. It would take something special for her to consider actually having sex with someone, and even Charles - who was an Emperor in charge of a third of the planet who knew very damned well how to satisfy a woman - wasn't reaching that high bar.

<i>"Well, you didn't deny setting him up with a harem..."</i> Marianne giggled. <i>"Listen. There's a couple of real cuties in his class already. My two favourites are this pair of redheads. One is a half-Eleven noble, while the other is a commoner with a rather obvious crush on him. Now, I know what you're thinking: Shouldn't I be setting up a special harem for a Prince? Nobility and pure Britannian? If so, I'd ask you to remember my own background."

“Setting up a harem is nothing special. I do it all the time anyway. And I guess he is amusing enough to spend some time on that." While waiting for his Geass to activate. He'd be less likely to die if all he did was get his dick wet all day.

"Halt! You there, in the straightjacket!"

Without even turning around C.C. recognised that tone of voice anywhere. Military. Exactly who she wanted to avoid. Looking at him, he was probably off-duty. He wasn't in uniform - but he was carrying a firearm. To which she held no fear, but it would delay her ability to get to Ashford Academy if her body was taken off elsewhere while she got better than death.

"Is there something the matter? Am I being arrested for being too sexy for this world?" C.C. asked, raising her hands into the air while Marianne snickered in her head.

"That issue of straightjacket is only ever issued to dangerous military prisoners," the plains clothes officer sniffed.

“Oh come on, do you actually think that there are no <i>special shops</i> that make that stuff regardless of whether it is supposed to be military only?” She asked, rolling her eyes in the process.

"Not with that design!" Oh dear. No sense of humour at all. "Now then, you're coming with me to the nearest military base, and I'll have you sorted out in no -"

His first mistake was aiming the gun at her. The second mistake was touching her. The third mistake... was turning her on with his righteous attitude. It was so pure that she couldn't wait to corrupt it. So she went with the most direct method available to her. She accessed C's World while he had ahold of her arm (trying for the fabled Female Off Switch grab. Ugh...)

In an instant his mind was flooded with so much dirty shit that it would make the living incarnation of the Internet blush. You think you've seen some nasty porn online? Hah! That's only the stuff that people saw fit to put up there. The really nasty stuff is deep down in the subconscious, quite often in places people don't dig into. And C.C. was filling this man's head with that level of filth.

"Ggggguuuurgh!" he grunted, and came. Oh, but he came and came and C.C. went off, skipping away without looking back. "Come back here you... Guuuuh, can't stoooop!"

Who wants to cum forever? Heh. Nobody but a lunatic. Or someone who hasn't thought it through.

<hr>

One might wonder what was on the mind of Kallen Kozuki in preemptively turning down Lelouch like that. Well, the reason was simple: If you chase and someone runs away, then they are more inclined to run faster. On the other hand, if you suddenly run away from them then there's a decent chance they might wonder why you are running and chase you instead.

Besides which: Kallen had other fish to fry all of a sudden.

<i>"So what do you make of this mystery voice?"</i> Asked Kaname Ohgi. Her brother's best friend. <I>"If it really was Suzaku, then... He's already been arrested."</i>

"We don't know it was him, that's the trouble," Kallen said. Her mind wasn't really on this. It should be. It was important. Someone had tracked her down and left her a message. "I say we show up tomorrow, but keep it low key. Anyone asks what we're doing there, we say we were wanting to hang out. Throw some platitudes about how awesome our lives are under the Empire..."

<i>"Yeah, I agree. At the very least we ought to show up just in case,"</i> Ohgi said. <I>"How about that guy you mentioned yesterday. That boy you were suspicious of. Anything there"</i>

Lelouch... yeah, Lelouch. She hadn't actually intended to report that to Ohgi, but - just like now - she was distracted. At the time she hadn't been able to place what the distraction was, but hindsight really helps nail things down. The problem was simple: Kallen was horny.

It was the uniform that was doing it. Seriously. Having the girls all strut around with skirts that short? It was a miracle half of them weren't at least a little bi. How did the boys concentrate when there was so much bare leg going around? She expected to see boners from the first hour of school! N-not because she wanted to see them or anything.

"<i>Kallen?</i>"

"No, nothing new on that front," she replied. "I'm gonna try getting close to him and the rest of this council." Sexually close, that is. "Might take a little while to make him talk. If I try to move things too quickly..."

<i>"Sounds to me like you're making friends up there."</i>

Friends? Her? With Britannians? Perish that thought! Though Kallen didn't say it, she did growl a little. Ohgi had sounded a little too pleased with this development.

<i>"Don't cop that attitude with me. I used to be a teacher, remember? It's only natural I'd want to see you making friends your own age. Besides, if we demonise the Britannians too much it'll make us forget who our real enemy is: The government. Not the civilians."</i>

"Got it," Kallen grunted. "I'll call in tomorrow so we can meet up before this meeting."

And like that the call ended leaving Kallen frustrated in more ways than one. She took a few deep breaths, tried to concentrate on her next course of action.

1. Shirley arrives at the Stadtfeld residence after school for some help in seducing Lelouch.
2. At school, Milly trains Kallen in the art of seduction.
3. Milly successfully pushes Lelouch and Shirley together without Kallen's help.
4. Skip ahead to the meeting.
5. Something else