Story: Double Trouble

 

Furinkan High. Furinkan High. That was where he needed to get to. That was where Ryoga Hibiki's determination was leading him. Furinkan High. Furinkan High! For others it wouldn't be too hard to find. Get a map, track down the address, take a train to the local area, start asking around and you'll get directions. For him? The eternally lost boy? Getting where he wanted was a roll of the dice. Eventually, it would come up a six, if you roll it long enough - but you do have to keep on rolling until you get it.

His obsession was single minded. Ranma. Ranma Saotome. It was his fault he had this stupid curse! That boy... that damnable boy! Running out on their duel like that! Forcing Ryoga to chase him all across China, leading to him going to that valley, where he met that panda and that girl who knocked him into that spring! Now, he was having to drag his rucksack along with his teeth while he tried to find shelter, somewhere dry enough where he could set up cover, and a fire, then heat some water and return to -

"Unky Woga!"

That was the first and last warning Ryoga received before being picked up by a young girl and snuggled tightly. One must understand. His cursed form was, in the end, a little black pig. The sort of thing that would naturally draw the attention of a predator. Upon realising this himself, as well as the helplessness of this new form, it had left deep fear and trauma imprinted upon Ryoga Hibiki, a quite understandable reaction. This he thrashed around to free himself from the grip of a toddler, but- 

But have you seen Tiny Toon Adventures? You're familiar with Elmyra? I think you get the general vibe for how Ryoga is feeling right now. The funny thing was though, all his thrashing around with his tiny pig hooves wasn't actually hurting the girl at all. Weirdly, she seemed to be dodging all of them without noticing.

"Daddy! I found Unky Woga!" the girl chirped while Ryoga tried to catch his breath. It wasn't easy. That had been quite exhausting. But before long he felt himself being plucked out of the girl's hands, and being lifted up towards a pretty redhead with an oddly familiar hairstyle.

"Well, well!" the girl said. "Look what we have here. Hello, P-Chan."

"Bweeeee!" Ryoga screamed in panic. He did not much care for the look this girl was giving him.

"What to do, what to do~" the girl sang to herself. "Should I tell the past Akane all about you? My own Akane still doesn't know. It would be a real shame to deprive my past self of your rivalry and friendship. You did help make me stronger, and you do help me out a ton..."

None of this made any sense to Ryoga. He was, for lack of a better word, lost. Completely lost, didn't get any of this at all. The girl seemed pretty happy about something or other, though.

"Is Auntie Akari coming too?" the little girl asked.

"Oh, good idea!" the adult girl said. Following which, she wandered over towards a phonebook and started flipping through the pages. "Unryu farm... Unryu farm... Ah, here we go! Don't you wander off, now, P-Chan. I'm about to do you an enormous favour! You owe me big, okay? Himiko, play with him for a bit while I call Auntie Akari, okay?"

"Bweeee!" Ryoga shuddered, not particularly liking the tone or body language this woman was showing him right now. Worse yet, he was handed back to... Himiko, was it?

"Yay, Unky Woga!" little Himiko chirped, happily scooping Ryoga up and squeezing him tightly. Oof! This was hell. It had to be hell. Somehow, Ryoga had wound up in hell on earth. Would no angel come by to save him? Were there any angels left in the world?

=====

Ah, Akari Unryu. From the Doylist perspective, it's pretty clear what you were. An attempt by the writer of this world to make the ideal girl for Ryoga Hibiki. Really, she's perfect. Not only is she cute as a button, but she's obsessed with pigs, genuinely patient and sincere and understanding. The ideal traits for a guy like Ryoga, who is - let's be real here - likely to be a bit annoying as a boyfriend given his personality quirks.

Also? She's tough. It might not have shown in the series, but think about it for half a second and you see where we're coming from here. This is a girl who has trained sumo pigs. Huge sumo pigs, at that. Have you seen Katsunikishi? Huge boar that. Oh, but on top of that, when she was trying to train herself to dislike pigs because she thought Ryoga did? She got that enormous swine to slap her around with its hooves, and she did not immediately die or get knocked out cold.

Why was this important? Have you seen how Ryoga gets when he's overexcited? Boy is stronger than he looks. If he were to hug and embrace a normal girl - hell, if he were to embrace Akane Tendo? Could do some real damage there. Akari might not be as capable in a fight as Akane, but she can sure as heck tank hits.

That's even aside from the fact that she's a farm girl. It's not a universal truth, but generally speaking? Farm girls know how to defend themselves, even if it involves fighting dirty. Take that, combine it with the sumo pig training detail, and you've got a girl that looks like sugar on the outside, but if you scratch that surface you're finding refurbished concrete inside.

Anyway, the point of the matter is this: Her grandfather had received a mysterious phone call before he'd died, telling her about an adorable lost little black pig that had been found by the Tendo family in Furinkan. That wasn't too far from the farm, so they wanted to give it to someone that knew how to take care of it. 

Obviously, she'd been on that as soon as she'd heard. She waved goodbye to her grandfather before he died (worth noting, he's still alive, just mostly bedridden these days) and set off on Katsunikishi's back.

"Oooh, I can't wait to meet that adorable little piggy wiggy!" Akari said while riding atop her enormous mountain of a sumo wrestling pig. "We'll be sure to feed him up, make him grow big and strong, won't we now?"

The pig she was riding atop made an agreeable grunting noise, and the two of them strode through the streets of Furinkan, drawing no small amount of attention. It's not something you see regularly, you must understand. While Furinkan was not far from her home, it wasn't as if she came this way often. Still, they reacted as most do when they see something like this - they all bugged out. Parted like the Red Sea. Which was, on the whole, the most sensible thing they could have possibly done under the circumstances.

Soon enough, she arrived at the Tendo family home, around the same time as a pretty young woman wearing a nice floral dress. She looked up at Akari and tilted her head, before letting loose a big smile.

"Are you here to challenge the dojo master?" she asked. "If so, you would need to go around the back."

"No, no!" Akari said, feeling oddly at ease with this woman. It was as though there was an aura around her that instantly disarmed everything "I'm here to pick up a lost pig that someone called in."

"A lost pig...?" the woman said. "Oh my. I wonder what has happened while I was -"

"Auntie 'Sumi!"

And out comes a little adorable bundle of joy, who nearly bowled the woman over. Following after her was a woman with her hair tied up in a pigtail, but Akari's attention wasn't on them. It was on the cutest little thing being held by the second cutest little thing she'd ever seen, and she was pretty sure she'd only ranked them in that order because of her own personal biases.

"Oh... Oh my, where did you come from?" the nice woman asked.

"Sorry Kasumi," the pigtailed woman said, strolling casually over. "Uh, this is your niece Himiko. I'll fill you in shortly... And this little black pig is for you, Akari. Make sure to give him a bath and ask him about Jusenkyo. The two of you will work it out from there. Have fun!"

She plucked the little black pig, who seemed to be quite scared, right through the air and into Akari's waiting hands. The poor thing was trembling and cold, and - 

"Oh, yeah! Better bring this with you as well!" the girl said, fastening a big heavy umbrella onto Katsunikishi, as well as a heavy backpack. "The little guy's gonna want this! If he wants to pick a fight with Ranma Saotome, make sure to lead him back here in a couple of days. He oughta be ready by then, okay?"

"Okay...?" Akari said, but her attention was mostly on the piglet, which was staring up at her and sniveling with big bright eyes. "It's alright, you poor little thing. I'll get you nice and cleaned up in no time flat. Then we'll get you fed, and warm, and somewhere nice and safe, you adorable little thing."

Then she kissed it on the forehead, which seemed to calm it down. Alright then, she'd be getting this pig back home right away. Little realising that, when she did get him cleaned up, she'd be running into man so perfect... you'd swear that they were literally made for each other.