Alright, there would be enough time for them to be horny and stupid later! Especially the stupid bit, but also especially the horny. Here and now, they were gathered together, and it was time for Usagi to lay all her cards on the table. Never mind that it sounded ridiculous. Never mind that it was just a little bit stupid. Just slightly. Not much, but, you know, a little tiny bit. She had to not hesitate and say it loud, say it proud, the terrible truth -
"We are fictional characters," she said, and looked around the room to judge reactions. Of course, she had taken Ami to the real world before already, so she knew that. Even so?
"Well there's a metaphysical crisis of identity for you," Ami said. Trying to crack a joke to lighten the tension? At least, based on her tone of voice. It kinda flew over Usagi's head a little bit. "Eh? No? Oh, alright then..."
Usagi decided to continue, if for nothing else, to save from Ami having to put up with that awkwardness. "And there's a portal to the real world where we're all fictional characters, too! Luna becomes a completely normal cat. Can't talk, or anything! Oh, and anything we take back from the real world somehow affects our reality."
"I think this is all ridiculous," Rei said. "But from a purely spiritual point of view, it's intriguing. Do fictional characters have souls...? Are they part of the cycle of rebirth? Do they go to an afterlife? Do they simply stop existing, or do they start at the beginning of their stories, over and over again...?"
Huh! She hadn't considered that angle! That sure was a new one to her, she'd been more horrified by the implications of the fight they were fighting rather than something as deep as that! Oooh, now that was really unsettling!
"So? So? What about me?" Minako demanded, grabbing Usagi by the shoulders, stars in her eyes and steam shooting from her nose. She seemed really intense all of a sudden! "Am I popular? How popular am I?"
"Um, you're pretty far up the rankings, I guess?" Usagi muttered to herself. "I think, uh, not quite top ten but pretty close?"
"Eh?! Not even in the top ten! A glamorous girl like me, who has fought long and hard against the encroaching evil of the Dark Kingdom! A battle scarred beauty with flawless skin but a traumatised mind! An enigmatic - Oh hey, I think I found that portal you were talking about! That place was super weird!"
"You've been there as well?" Sailor Pluto asked. "I see. If it was only one of you that had encountered it, then I would have found it a peculiar tall tale. But if you are backing up her assertion, then..." The tall, leggy beauty fell silent for a moment. Contemplating what she'd learned, unsure of how to digest it. "Of all the things I might have expected to learn today, that was not on my list."
"Yeah, that kinda bullcrap never is," Makoto shrugged.
"Please do take the matter seriously," Luna said. "You as well, Artemis. It seems rather obvious that the poor girl from the real world has been pulled into matters as well."
"Hrm? Then this girl may have been brainwashed by the Dark Kingdom," Artemis said. Ever see a cat frown? They don't really have the muscles for it. They express themselves in different ways. "If she is from this 'real world' and we are indeed fictional characters, she will be extremely aware of not only who you all are, but she will likely have a good psychological profile on all of you as well. Your strengths, weaknesses, victories, defeats... even those you are not yet aware of. It might be the worst case scenario."
"In that case, Sailor Moon, please tell us what you know of the story's future," Pluto said.
"Well, to be honest... I kinda stopped reading after the first arc," Usagi said, nervously rubbing the back of her head. "Ahem! I mean, learning that I was the reincarnation of the Moon Princess and that Mamoru was my reincarnated boyfriend from back then was kinda... a lot. You know? Also! That original story wasn't anywhere near as horny as all this! Can we maybe start by doing something about that?"
Ever heard the phrase 'the silence was deafening'? Usagi never understood it before, but she sure did now. The girls were all fidgeting nervously, breaking eye contact. Staring up at the ceiling, or the floor, anywhere but at her or each other.
"I mean, unless everyone else likes being just this shade of nymphomania," Usagi flatly commented. "Rei? I thought you hated the perviness?"
"I mean, yes, but one must be wary," Rei said. "To seal away humanity's lustful intent is to prevent the very act of reproduction... Or something..."
Uh huh. Very convincing. Not at all because you're actually a closet pervert. Minako...? Actually, from what she'd read that girl was kinda boy crazy in the canon events anyway, so she'd already be on board with the horny. Makoto probably as well. But Ami? Really?
"Well, I mean, this is the perfect opportunity to study, ahem, the metaphysical nature of reality, intertwined with the oscillation of your hind quarters upon my delicate facial features..."
Usagi's eyes had glazed over pretty quickly. Nope, not gonna try to interpret that. Which, dear reader, was exactly Ami's strategy. She was saying that she wanted to see Usagi shake her ass right in front of Ami's face. Just in case your eyes glossed over at the first half of the Big Word Salad being tossed out by the blue haired genius.
"Alright, alright, might as well just have the orgy and get it over with!" Usagi said, while Ami responded with a quiet 'yay!' Usagi threw her hands up in the air in sheer dismay. "Can we at least try to make sure that nobody else falls into those portals and accidentally brings back, I dunno, some knockoff toy with a broken mould that makes it look like I have two heads or three legs or something? I'd really like to not wake up in the morning with an extra limb!"
"We could always seal the portal," Rei offered.
"But then that chick will be stuck in our reality," Makoto observed. Oh yes, that was a good point. They couldn't do that to the poor girl. They had to free her before doing anything else! That had to take priority over absolutely anything else!
=====
Meanwhile, in the real world, Queen Beryll was walking the walk of the well fucked. The people of this reality had such trifling stamina compared to her. It was easy to seduce them. Easy to have fun with them. Easy to wear them out. Alas, she wasn't able to use her sex appeal to brainwash them. Apparently that didn't work in reality, which was a shame.
It barely mattered. She'd learned quite a lot in a few scant hours. Acquired a few bits and pieces here and there... and a few souvenirs to take back home with her for further study.
"Watch out, Sailor Moon," Beryll licked her lips. "Or should I say, Usagi Tsukino. Kukuku! Try to steal my man, would you? Well then. I'll just have to sit on your face until you see things my way!"
Bags gripped in both hands, she took a skip, a hop... and then she changed things in her own reality once again, but bringing in objects much more real than the reality around them.
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