Story: Normality of Kyon

 

I have many regrets born from meeting this crazy reality warping girl. Seeing her intoxicated was a complete nightmare scenario from top to bottom. Verbalising my observation was, to say it bluntly, a mistake. Why had I quipped about Asahina developing succubus powers? Within earshot of Haruhi Suzumiya, of all people?

It was already ridiculous as it was. You’d think after all the bizarre situations we’ve been through, I’d be desensitised to seeing her like this, but somehow, she still managed to look like a lost lamb thrown into a den of wolves. The glossy black suit clung to her awkwardly, her bunny ears twitching nervously as she fidgeted, trying to cover herself as much as possible with her arms. Her usual blush was in full effect, and I had to resist the urge to give Haruhi an earful once again for putting her in that outfit... Though really, in her current state of mind raising my voice would probably somehow make things a lot worse for everyone.

The air around Mikuru shimmered, like the heat you see rising off asphalt in the summer. It was subtle at first, just a ripple in the space around her. I thought maybe I was just seeing things. Wouldn’t be the first time. But then, her whole body tensed, like she’d been hit with a jolt of electricity. Her eyes widened, and I could almost hear her heartbeat quicken, thudding against her chest.

Before I could ask if she was okay, things got weirder. Her bunny ears twitched again—only this time, they looked... different. Sharper, almost sinister. The soft fluff of her tail vanished, replaced by something far more alarming: a sleek, black, spade-tipped tail that slithered out from the back of her suit, like it had a mind of its own. And then the wings appeared. Yeah, wings. Small, bat-like things that unfurled from her back as if they’d always been there, but were waiting for just the right moment to make an entrance.

Mikuru’s eyes glowed faintly, a soft red that sent a chill down my spine. Her normally innocent expression turned into something else, something she definitely didn’t mean to show. Her lips parted as if she was about to say something, but no words came out. Instead, she just stood there, her hands hovering in front of her as if she didn’t know what to do with them, her face a mixture of panic and confusion.

“M-Mikuru, are you... okay?” I managed to stammer out, though at this point, I wasn’t sure what ‘okay’ even meant anymore.

Her response was a high-pitched squeak, the kind that usually preceded her bursting into tears or fainting. But this time, instead of collapsing into a blubbering mess, she just stood there, frozen, her new wings fluttering nervously behind her.

"Woah, thatsh really shomething speshal!" Haruhi slurred drunkenly, wobbling on her feet. And then, after giving me a quick and dirty look, she collapsed back into me, rubbing her butt right in my crotch. Subtle. Actually, by her standards this was pretty subtle, come to think. "Oops! Hold me, Kyon! Hehehe~"

Talk about overstimulation! A drunk and horny Haruhi all but throwing herself at me, and in front of me was... Mikuru Asahina. Already a captivating and cute girl, now spontaneously, out of nowhere, she's wielding powers of a demon that is specifically meant to drain the vitality of young men through sheer lewdness.

In her case? It was the juxtaposition that was really working for me. She was cute. She was sexy, with huge boobs, a nice firm butt, healthy thighs, a slender waist, the ideal feminine physique topped off with a cute face. But those clothes! That aura! It was like seeing some girl that was pretending to be nice while deep down you knew full well that she wasn't. 

It's something you might not understand until you experience it yourself. The purer something is, the more fun it can be to make it dirty. Mikuru Asahina is pure as the fallen snow, and has the body of a supermodel.

She'd also just been tossed across the room by Yuki, and had a certain boy sort of hanging from her cleavage, happily faceplanted in there, visibly sighing. Or taking deep breaths every now and then. Though given the position of his face, it was very probable that he wasn't actually able to breathe properly.

"Hey, leave this girl alone!" yelped a girl who reminded me of my mother, except my age. She was stuck inside a glass case, pounding against it. "Oooh, Harry! You're gonna sleep on the couch tonight, you hear me?!"

"Can't talk, too busy motorboating~" the guy named 'Harry' said. His cadence sounded eerily familiar. Oh, and there was also a familiar face right next to his. It wasn't as obvious, as most of her body was being hidden behind Harry, and much the rest was being concealed by Mikuru's luscious titties, but Ryoko was there as well. Nuzzling into Asahina's boob like she was made to do it.

It's about this point I started to wonder about what else might go amiss today. I almost made a sarcastic comment that would have almost certainly made things worse for everyone involved - but stayed my tongue. 

"Hey shtooopid!" Haruhi grabbed my head and made me look right at her. "Soooo that's the kinda girl you like, huh? Bet you'd like a whole lot of them, eh?"

Oh no. Haruhi's reality warping powers were still active. Which meant anything could happen - and sure enough, anything did! Before my eyes, all the bunnies in the brigade had turned into succubunnies! Horny rabbits that could enspell a man, enslaving them to their will. Every bit as cute and cuddly as Asahina, but far more dangerous!

I watched, aroused, as men around me fell under their control almost immediately. Not just the men either. Jealous girlfriends would get annoyed at their man paying so much attention to this stranger-  and then they'd suddenly have a succubunny sitting in their lap as well, and before long they too were mesmerised, entranced, bewitched.

"Hehehehehe, today's been fun, huh?" Haruhi hiccuped. Clinging onto me like a second skin. This girl! Her reality warping was getting really out of hand! "Come on, Kyon! How about we make out for a bit, huh?"

"Now's really not the time for this," I patiently explained, trying to fend her off while seeking a solution to this mess before everything got worse. Again!

"Hrmph! Then when is the time for it, huh?"

All of a sudden, her bust had gone up another size. She was showing a lot more cleavage than usual, too. Haruhi wasn't even aware anything was incongruous. She was all but shoving them into my face, and - 

"H-Haruhi, could you put those away?" I asked, trying to turn away, but this girl was much stronger than you'd think. Really now! It's absurd how strong she was!

Between Yuki getting turned into a tentacle monster, Asahina into a succubunny, all these horny succubunnies all around us, that gender flipped copy of me stuck in the glass case... This whole day was completely absurd! Over the top! I needed to calm things down, and I needed them that way pronto! The only way to make it happen is for Haruhi herself to do it, which meant - 

"You're trying to tell me that all this stuff is normal?" I asked.

This, as it turned out, was a tremendous mistake.